Tag Archive | struggles

Survival of the Working Women

Today I was in a mood to write about house wives, but suddenly something in my routine stuck me very badly to write about the sufferings of the working women.

It is a known truth that the women have to face problems by desirable feature of being women.  I am discussing today about the women who are paid for their employment. This article is not about the bread-winners of the family. For the bread winners there is no option, they have to work for the sake of the survival, but these women are not working for their luxurious life. There are some who are very ambitious and wants to shine in their professional life. There are some women come for work whose husbands do not earn enough or they are unable to handle the burden of the family.

Those women who are at home are not anyway lesser than the working women, but working women has to do both the role with utmost care and concern without being disturbed in both their professional and personal life. 

All the successful women in their career are through sufferings only. All our success are with great sufferings.

It is a subject which is going on in my mind for some time but now the time has come by seeing the struggles with the married women who are working with me. I wanted to discuss about those working women to their husbands and to tell them about the problems of the women who earns equal or more than their husbands and doesn’t know or don’t have time to know anything about the outside world other than the family and working environment.

There was a time where the women will choose their career like nursing, teachers, secretaries and those jobs that are in the assembly sector (routine job), wherein they restrict their career growth for the welfare of the family and to take care of their beloved kids. Now the trend has changed drastically, wherein women work more competitive with men and spend equally or more time in the working environment.

The struggle for the women starts even before getting a job; she has to start the fight for the role as the gender bias creates an obstacle at the recruitment stage itself as she is a woman.

The age-old belief of male superiority over women creates several hurdles for women at their place of work. The age differences comes in as an issue, if she is young, then it is harmful to have her within a group of guys, if she is older than also it is difficult to have her in mid of young guys as they don’t feel comfortable.

Women on the way up to the corporate ladder find it very difficult because that they have to be much better than their male colleagues to reach the top. These women are not given equal importance to climb up in the ladder but they have to give extra mile to climb up.

Once at the top male colleagues and subordinates often expect much greater ability and efficiency from a woman boss than from a male boss.  As a woman even I have the bias due to the social and psychological belief, I don’t lend support to have women in my team.  (Because they cannot stay back and work)

Working in such conditions inevitably put much greater strain on women than what men experience. These problems tend to make women less eager to progress in their careers. Indeed many of them choose less demanding jobs for which they may even be over-qualified. A woman’s work is not merely confined to paid employment.

It is really irritating factor for me to feel for them because I don’t like to feel pity for someone or for self. If at all I can do something, I will prefer to do it for them and not feeling pity for them.

In the recent times, when I see the sincere, hard-working women who are married and sufferings back home after their work or during the working hours really makes me to feel irritated and I want to become one more Kannagi to destroy these kind of men in the society.I can hear that someone saying why not as Phoolan Devi, Yes I do want to become anything to stop these atrocities, arrogance of the stupid men.

These married working women who have to almost or always shoulder the burden of household chores very well than the working environment. A woman could still bear up with these problems if she had control over the money she earns. But in most families even now her salary is given to father, husband or in-laws. So the basic motive for seeking employment of getting independence is totally nullified in many women’s case.

There are some women who don’t know what the pin number of their ATM cards is and simply they will say husband will take care of everything. I don’t even know what is their bank balance is, he handles the financial part for our family.  He should handle the financial part of the family without depending on the women’s salary is the role of the head of the family.

A woman has to work, earn, be at home on time, take care of the kids, serve the husband like a slave, are we calling this as women freedom?

When I see the husbands calling their wives to know about their whereabouts during working hours and I see some of the male colleagues receiving the calls from their house wives who are at home.  By large there is a lot of changes in the communications of a call from a husband to wife and from a wife to husband.

When it is from a husband to wife, the woman who is working has to tell he husband about her whereabouts or what she is doing without even thinking about the surroundings.

Indian working women do not get the respect they need from their male colleagues in the workplace, it is because of these Indian men who doesn’t know to give respect to their wives as a professional.

When it is from a house wife to her husband, the guy from his desk responds instantly that he is busy with work without even thinking about the surroundings. Is it because of the gender bias or is it because that the house wife is disturbing the man who is at work? Is it not a disturbance call for the working woman from her husband when she is at work?

When these husbands will realize that their wives are not given a separate cabin to discuss or explain the routine of hers from office. Even those guys sitting inside a cabin will not be lovable or soft speaking to their wives as everyone works under pressure.

Why don’t these men think that these domestic pressures in women will lead to physical and mental problems like depression and psychiatric problems?

When our gentlemen(still I am calling you guys as gentlemen for the care and concern) will realize that women also have the career aspirations?  

I really don’t understand these men, why do they want their woman to work, if they don’t trust or give them the liberty to work?  We women are not fools to spend our time at office unnecessarily. There are men who will go for playing snooker, billiards, table tennis or any other sports as part of their working time, but it will be very difficult for these men to find out such woman who is ready to leave their responsibility of their kitchen and kids and going for playing for their self relaxation or for health consciousness.

My dear gentlemen, provide your wife the comfort that she is a professional and accept that you are a husband of a professional woman. I have seen guys who never question their wives while they are at work. I really admire those guys for giving that freedom to work. It is a boon for the wives and these wives can see success in the corporate sector and it is easy for them to climb the ladder when they get the support from their better half. Even if they don’t get the support in the household works, women can manage it, but if the husbands become bitter half, then their personal and professional life goes for a toss.

Balancing the personal and professional environment is not an easy task and those who are trying to show their manliness qualities of having rights to know about their wives, please try to handle these responsibilities of women for two weeks, then you will come to know who is the stronger/strongest and I wish that wives also should start questioning these men in such a way they have to leave both their personal and professional life which is very obvious from a man, but a woman will stay stronger with a smile and say them better luck next time.

There are lots of issues that they face in the working environment which can be shared with the husbands and few cannot be shared even with the husbands not in an intention to hide it from them, but to keep them cool and happy. The sufferings of women if known to men, we think that the men will feel for it and repent badly for making their wives to work for the sake of the family.

When we can think on your behalf, why don’t you think on our behalf? Is the brain of women only has got the ability to think for men? Why don’t these men think from their wives shoes? When will this change come in place and when can we see our ladies doing their work happily without having a fear of personal life? When can I see the natural smile of my fellow colleagues without any mental trauma?

I hope answers will get in few decades with the next generation or the male chauvinism will still go on forever?

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Full of Roses or Thorns

Full of Roses or Thorns

I was screaming within myself why I have to face this life and it is like hell and I am unable to pass even 1 second and pass each second is like one day for me and it is so challenging. It is really so painful to spend each and every second in pain. Why did god give me this painful life? I never felt this kind of hell in my past bitter experiences, I have taken all pain with smiles because I considered everything as lesson of life and I never felt that I am under the bed of thorns even though those were really thorns.

Now what happened to me, why did I became so soft, so weak and I started feeling. I was literally crimping about my current situation and how my life is with full of pains and started feeling that I was the happiest person and now I feel that I am the one who is feeling the worst in life and that too because of one stupid female.

Whatever I do went wrong and whatever I think also goes wrong. Whoever come and passes by me was ready to spit on my face than to help me to get up from my difficult situations. Everyone was taking advantage of my weakness and started playing with my weakness and my anger towards this female is growing like a mountain because of the way she betrayed and cheated and spoiled my name in all the phases of my life.

I know that life can’t be full of roses only but I used to feel those thorns also as a rose and with a bright smile I will move ahead. Life is always with thorns only. It is very difficult to find a person who has not seen any thorns in his bed which is full of roses. We will never find one like that. I know that life would have been monotonous if I don’t find any challenges and leading a dull and dingy life. Only by facing the challenges and overcoming them only we have to lead a fulfilling life.

I can correct it only by one way, my attitude only. Last year I wrote about attitude and the same way I thought only my attitude is killing me.  She became close to me with that article which I wrote about attitude. Anyone can be the reason to spoil my happiness, but only attitude towards the incide is going to repair it. I want to live and lead my life more happily infront of the other person.

Neither I need to show my love nor my anger to this female, just I said to myself, life will bring in more b*****s and b——s, just tell them that you don’t need them.  Even though I understood her real color, I was unable to give rest to my mind in a feeling that I may be wrong. But all her behavior and attitudes showed that I was correct in recognizing her and all characters, mischievous behavior were against the basic ethics of humanity as well as religion aspect. It will be painful for few months or few months. After few months of time, I might look back and laugh at myself and see that all my problems were like the water on the grass and it went out of our life with the rays and shine of the sun. It is not as I see like a mountain.

Life will always have challenges – I used to have a mindset that life is full of challenges for everyone. Either we will fight with the society or with the working environment or personally at home or any struggles with friends, strangers. We have to struggle it out in all the faces if we want to come out of it. When I was earning in 3 digits, I was thinking 4 digit salary will make me happy, when I started getting 4 digits salary, I thought with 5 digits salary I will be very rich and after getting 6 digits of salary also my life was the same and then I realized that it is not in what we get, but it is in how we see it.  I know I have been so happy even without single penny in my wallet and no credit cards, no money still I was so happy. Challenges will always exist in our life.

When I had a fight with a Nursery school friend, I avoided him for and I don’t think after that I had any word with him. Then I thought I will not have any more friends in life, but I got so many friends and almost all of them were very good. Because I know that I should not let anyone to enter into my life more than myself.

For me any relationship with any scratches, I can’t take it easily. It is very difficult for me to handle anyone with little pain or hard feelings with them. It is better to avoid them than to show a fake smile at them. Till the time I fight and resolve it, I can’t be natural or true to myself.

I know we can’t be so strict in any relationship or without any scratches we can’t move ahead as well. But that’s my basic character, without clearing the misunderstanding or any itches or ill feelings, I can’t be normal. I will feel that I am cheating not only myself, but also the other person which is not possible by me. I can’t expect the other person to be like me.

When I allowed someone to enter into my life for the first time, it was hurting more and after 10 years of nice relationship, when it was broken I was feeling life as terrible. I thought I will not allow any other female to be so close in my life. But within 3-4 years someone entered so closely and damaged it more than the previous time. First time, it was so intense because the time what I have spent with her was so high as it was 10 years and at least we had a reason for the breakup and patch up.

Now neither I have spent much time with her or I don’t have any reason for the breakup nor do I wish to go for a patch up. Up to me, broken relationship will always have the scar and it will always hurt, it is better to let it go, instead of holding it. Moreover those who deserve or to be considered in any relationship will not give that pain or will not break the relationship for any reason.

I sleep in a bed full of roses only but the thorns of the rose are not in the bed, it is in my brain only, because of the hurt and pain. Human psychology is to hurt the one who hurt you and I am unable to kill that bitch in reality. I am scared that knowingly I should not do any harm to that bitch.

The More challengers we face, the more successful we become – That was the secret of my success and I was trying to drown in this problem… What a stupidity of mine? The one who did the mischiveious things in my life should feel bad and die each day instead I was dying. Why sould I go down because someone cheated me?

It is true to great extent that difficulties come for a reason, for me, I know the reason also, but why always me is the question will come when we face the problems or struggles in our life. When we feel that we are being cornered or ill -treated or misbehaved or betrayed or cheated by someone then we will always feel that we are in miserable conditions. It was not easy to take it because I have given that much attachment to that person.

When we feel that our life has become so serious then we should not consider all our problems as serious. We have to take all the problems as a game only. Life always has various states of games and it varies for every individual. For each and every person overcoming each challenge, she becomes mentally ready for the next one and in between life gives her greater gifts or pains for overcoming those challenges. Normally we go to another level by extending our comfort level a little more and deep so as to test whether we can overcome this or not.

Every challenge is an opportunity. From every challenge a person give the following opportunities, personal development and a lesson for the life time, and other one financial success.

When you move on with the challenges, you have to think that the direction of the challenge leads you towards the success of learning a lesson or to the development of your personality or it should take you to the growth of accumulating your wealth. So it’s a real challenge to spot these opportunities and to cash on them thus leading to personal and material development of one self.

Most of the times, time will teach you what you have to do and the best way is to recognize an opportunity in adversity is to get guidance from the learned personality or those who have overcome similar problems or with your own mentor and learn from the people who have been through your path. They are your best teachers. It is not easy for each and every-one to get time to read books, to listen to audio tapes from personal development experts can go a long way in helping you.

The important part of learning in life is to put whatever one has learnt into action. Without action all the lessons learned is of no use and life has no meaning. So if you want to benefit with your life mentally as well as financially start from today to put into action whatever good or bad things learnt from life before your time ends.

You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s Junk…