Tag Archive | respect

DIWALI in UAE

Diwali Celebrations

Diwali is one of the most important festivals of all the Hindus living all over the world.  I was not able to celebrate almost any festivals after my grandmother’s death, as I have learnt all the festivals from her. Hinduism also was taught by her with the help of these festivals. I don’t remember whether she taught us the reason for the festivals, but I know for sure she used to make all the festivals a grand gala one with love filled feast.

Diwali is one good festival taught by her, who used to make lot of sweets, savories and make us very happy with whatever way she could do it. whatever money i would have burnt as crackers was really a needy one for the next day survival, but she has given it with pure love for me to burn it as crackers. Without anyone’s help the way she used to prepare the sweets for us is one precious moment which will not come in my life, even if 10 or 100 members does with love and care, it will not be equal to that of my grand mother.

Almost all the kids at home learnt it through her but the impact of festivals with my grandmother was more with me. The care and love shown by her towards me was mammoth. I can’t feel that love and care from anyone else. That is one of the reason for not celebrating any festivals in the past6-7 years. It is very difficult to articulate the feelings with words, but only those who have seen us or felt our love can understand the reason behind it.

It is almost 6 years in UAE and the life in UAE also has given a lot of change in me. One of my aunty used to call us during the Eid’s to check whether I am at home. As we get couple of holidays, I utilize those public holidays along with annual leaves, I used to go on a short vacation back home.

Being a Hindu, I failed to celebrate most of the festivals and I used to give a nasty dialogue also that festivals are for eating and I am having everything and whenever I want I can have it. 

Somewhat in the last 6 years, I never felt that I have to celebrate Diwali or Pongal. This year I wished to celebrate it in UAE. Normally atmosphere will not help to celebrate any festivals, apart from the Onam as there are lot of Malayalees in every organization. We don’t get the pleasure of Holidays for the Hindu festivals as we have in India. Being in a Muslim country, I can’t expect it as well :). Life used to be mechanical even on the days of festivals as we will be working.

Most of our colleagues are Muslims and most of the time they don’t even wish us for our festivals(not all there are few who respect the others), which I am not saying as wrong, it might be as per their belief in their religion. As usual this year also I was in between Muslims and all of them are from Pakistan.

My mind wanted to celebrate Diwali in UAE because of some good heart which was forcing me to buy new dress and wanted me to celebrate Diwali, fortunately she is also a Muslim.

I was talking to my colleagues about Diwali and we planned to celebrate it in office. Day before Diwali, I bought some sweets &  savouries.  I wanted to light my room with Diya’s, so bought candles, but my room was in total mess as I shifted to the new room and was not settled in the room. Somehow managed to light the candles and performed my usual rituals by lighting the Diya’s.

The day before Diwali, I got a wonderful Diwali greetings which was again from a Muslim and the way he wished me was the best wish in my life. Diwali wishes to you in advance, tomorrow I will be busy and will not be able to wish you, let the lights festival bring the shine to you and no more tears or hurts. I pray the one almighty in which you also believe to keep you happy was the wishes for me.

On the day of Diwali, again the first wish was from a Muslim and she wished it with great love and care. Got up with lovely wishes and as usual followed the rituals, missing my mother who used to keep oil to take bath and the sweet memories of getting the new dress from father. In the last 5 years I was not feeling for these oil bath or for getting the new dress. Somehow this year was feeling as if I am just 10 years old.  After sometime the whatsapp messages with family asking for Ganga Snanam.

As usual got late to office because of sharing the Diwali greetings with Family in whatsapp. Started to office with full of love and happiness carrying the sweets and forgot to take the wallet. Again turned back from the bus stop to my room to take the wallet and reached office.

Partying is not new to us whether it is office colleagues or with my friends, I used to have a extra luxury foodie when it is a party from me. We never had any issues within my team being from two (different) rivalry nations. We never had any heated arguments or discussions, irrespective of the discussions we used to have about the countries and religion as well.

I distributed the sweets to my team and asked the office boy to distribute it to other staffs in the office. Diwali started with sweets, coffee/tea. When it was lunch time, I asked the team to order food for them and being a vegetarian it was not easy for me to take them out on Diwali day, as I preferred to heavy Veg meals.

The ladies group preferred to have veg and for the guys, it was their choice to go with the grilled chicken. The one who was about to order messaged me is it okay to go as the cost was little high, if not we will order somewhere else, I asked him to go ahead as it matters with food not with the cost.

It took very long for them to get the food, and by the time it reached, I finished my lunch, had a skype chat with my mother, sisters & kids.

After the lunch, we had sweets again and the team was so happy, even I felt very happy when one of the guy said we feel that we are celebrating one more EID today. Before the celebration, that was in my mind, that at least one should say that we celebrated our Eid today. I was so happy feeling that god has come down to witness the Harmony in people. It is human nature to have peace and love for each other. Only the Politicians make the region, religion as weapon to fight against each other.

Thanks a lot for making me to celebrate my Diwali and this Diwali will be in my heart forever as I have celebrated it only with Muslims and for giving the feeling of celebration. Whether it is Eid or Diwali, celebration only matters and I do celebrate CHRISTMAS, DIWALI & EID.

After 5 Diwali in UAE, this Diwali is one of the most  memorable diwali and it is gonna be the best DIWALI of my life. I may not be able to get such a good feeling of Humanity and Happiness in my life on a Festival day.

This has shown me that the mind of Human wishes happiness only and it can be achieved with love and care irrespective of the religion, caste etc., This DIWALI increased the faith in ISLAM, this Diwali increased the faith in Human, this Diwali increased the faith in Respect for each other, this Diwali increased the faith in LOVE and wish many more Diwali’s to come in the similar way to keep the Harmony keep spreading….

No Ganga Snanam, No Crackers, No Granny, No Namaskaram’s, No Blessings (Didn’t get any blessings from the elders of the family) still this is the best DIWALI for me. Festival of Light for sure made me to shine with a bright smile in my face by end of the day.

YES we are united irrespective of the Nationality 🙂 First Wish to celebrate Diwali started from Sri Lankan, First Wish from Sri Lankan and the day was with Pakistani’s. 

I don’t know whether I will get this privilege to say that I celebrated my Diwali with Indians so happily, but for sure I was very happy because of my those 7 wonders of my Team & the great family from Sri Lanka.

(ALLAH) GOD BLESS ALL

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Rape- Rape-Rape

Getting accused for own mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Rape is an act that the strangers using their force over a woman to satisfy their lust, using their power. Rapes are not the actions that are for the physical needs of a guy with the concern of the girl. I hope the guys who read this will agree to it. If so we will not have the basic concept of love, marriage and the system to follow in any culture or any part of the world.

What is the society trying to say to my Indian woman, be submissive and dependent? Yes we are dependent on these guys around us to keep ourselves safe and pure. We are not dependent on them for anything else.

I really feel ashamed to say am a woman today because of the way our womanhood is being handled all over the world. I am ashamed to say a word for females as we are doing evils by exposing the Nirbaya to the world. If we can’t secret of a woman who was brutally raped and died as a victim, what are we going to do?

RAPE is one of the thing which goes around my mind from the time of Nirbaya. There are many more Nirbaya’s happening every day in every nook and corner of the world.

The statistics say that for an hour there are 3 woman is getting raped and the so called woman age starts from the age of 3. Guys should feel shame but we still hear that a 2 or 3-year-old baby is raped and taken to hospital.

How this 3 year woman can have faith and belief in you ?

A rape is  like you are an experienced driver but due to the negligence of other driver, you have all the chances of getting killed in an accident.These rapes are not even negligence of the woman but the brutal act of male chauvinism. 

GUYS there is no such stupid statements as guys and girls are equal, the equality is shattered and we are inferior only when someone is trying to take something out of me without my concern, you become more powerful. When we resist, you become more aggressive and violent for rejecting you.

There are so many people in the world who continue their life as  normal like others without even saying out that they are the victims of rape or harassed by the guys around them.

As all the rapes are happening outside my house, I am not ready to discuss it further or take it as a serious threat to womanhood. Why the entire nation is not ready to give their support for the rape victims and to protect their information secretly and to conduct the cases faster and to give justice in short period. The rapists have to be hanged in public. I am not a wild animal, but we should show to the society, if you behave like a wild animal, you have to be shot to dead.

Fear of life will certainly not make them to do these kind of violence’s not only in a female life, but also in anyone’s life. 

Why does the rape happens is what is going on in my mind?

Is it because of the Equality?

Equality has not led to these changes. Equality means, you are having fun, talking with your friend about a girl or anything, needs to be with your friend who can be a girl. This a girl as like your friend like  your friend who is a guy. Don’t have the sexual attraction towards them.

Is it because of the women liberation? Freedom for women? I will say that it is not the reason as the rapes are not happening in the recent time, it is happening since long time, when the women were not even coming out of their houses. Now the some cases are coming out due to the power and existence of the media.

Is it because of sexual frustration? If Yes, ideally only men have to be raped not the women. Expectations of a woman are not fulfilled in most of the marriages and the woman has to live in dreams and continue her services with the household and other activities for the sake of the family. I can’t say it as sexual frustration but as sexual violence. Every Human is a social animal but not every human is a wild animal to go to this level.

Is it because of the Age factor? We are not stopping any guys not to get married earlier. Yes Child marriage is not legal.

Now the guys are so much matured and responsible that they don’t want to get into any commitment before they get settled in their profession and to manage the personal life. Even the girls are not interested to get in to the well at early 20’s and they don’t want to delay it to late 20’s as well.Both the sex prefer to get into the wedlock when they feel that it is time for them to start their new phase of life. So no one is forcing them, it is their choice to be single. If it is so then there should not be a chance for the Rape.

Why this Nirbaya or the other cases come out is because of the way she was tortured, brutal assault and she was struggling for her life-like anything. As said by the accused, she was fighting as much as she could avoid the rape. In all other cases, the victims surrenders themselves knowing that they can neither fight against these scoundrels or with the society after the incident.

I don’t wish this to happen to anyone even in my wildest dream but just for the sake of this discussion, if it happens to us or someone in our own family, would we be able to treat it as an accident and get on with life as before? Is it possible for us to recover from that situation to normal without any agony?

What will I do, if I am a victim of rape?

Either I have to stand up and shout or I have to keep quiet and live as a normal life.

At first instance itself I will fail because the man who prepares his mind for a rape is stronger than the woman and she is not aware of the things that is going to happen in her life. In this case woman will not be mentally prepared to fight and physically it is not possible to fight against the man who comes to her fiercely. when it is more than one man, she will be thinking that one will help her to save herself from the cruel act, without knowing that there is no Krishna in that group. It is like a goat fighting with ferocious lion. Lions will succeed anyway.

Now the question what will be going around that moment in my mind is whether to surrender with this lion or to get killed every second by the people around me, the so called society?

Assume that I am a rape victim, what will be my husband’s reaction? Will he treat me like before? Will he have the mind frame that it is not an intentional incident or betrayal by me? Do I have the option of having a normal life with him? Will he be ever happy again with me? Even if he tries to what is the society that is going to offer us? Even if the rape happens in front of his eyes, he will not be able to accept me as like before. This is the mind-set of our guys and we all are bound slaves of our society. I will not say that all husbands are stone-hearted or they don’t care about their wives. It is how the society accepts the rape victims.

Will my brother consider me as like before, will he be able to take me with him to a movie or to a temple?

What will be my father’s reaction towards me? How my sisters will react to the situation? what about their social statuses and how difficult it is to get a groom for them or for anyone to play a role in the society as a normal human?

Forget about how they handle me, everyone will start feeling themselves as if they were raped and they will start hiding them as if they are the victim of that rape. It is not only one person getting raped, but also the entire family gets into turmoil.

What about the extended family and I call each and every friend of mine as extended family? Do you think all my friends will welcome me with two hands as they are doing now?

Only person who will be with me all the way through will be my mother, but she will not live for long after knowing this incident as she will not be able to digest it. She would have dealt with me like the mother who did in the movie Sila nerangalil Sil manithargal of Jeyakanthan (again Lakshmi as Heroine).

If at all I was raped, then ideally as a common woman, I will keep quite only. It was my inability to protect myself from one or more guys and it is not my fault and it is the gender bias provided by god. Especially when you are in your teens, the way your body is built is not to fight and it will not have enough strength to fight.

A guy of 35 years who needs to satisfy his physical needs or society insult/arrogance with a young girl of 14 or 19 years will succeed in his attempts quite easily. When the girl tries to fight, then she will be harassed, stuck brutally and she has to undergo lot of problems.

When a girl becomes a victim without even knowing that she is going to be a victim has to surrender only rather than fighting this huge devil. Most of the rapes happens in this manner only. Girls surrender and they don’t disclose this to anyone.

Does it mean a guy is always superior than a female? Yes in this matter, because the pain and shame or whatever it is only for me not for the guy who has done it. When a guy becomes a wild animal, he is stronger than the woman. 

If at all I survive as a rape victim, I am supposed to keep quite without informing this to anyone – this means I should have a very strong heart and I am ready to fight this world with my own conscience. Only those who have gone through that trauma will know it. A movie by SP Muthuraman, Mayangukiral Oru Maadhu will say how difficult it is for a female to be a victim. (even though it is not a rape). It requires lot of physical and mental strength in woman to continue her life.

I am bold, brave, courageous, different, extrovert, friendly, outspoken, but what will I do?

I will not be able to say the truth even to one individual because if I say it out to one person, then it is not a secret and I have to struggle always with the person to whom I confessed. I have to live in a fear that when the other person will let it out.

What are the normal thing I have to hear if I share that I am a victim of a rape? The below listed are the talks which will come to my ears every now and then. It is not only for me, the entire family needs to listen to all the crap.

Girl who is extrovert will always have this possibility of getting raped.

A woman like you invites rape by venturing alone going in the dark. I am forced in so many ways, I am a divorcee, I am a widow, I am still single, I am mother of two children without husband, I am wife of handicapped husband, I am struggling for the sake of my family, I am the woman who needs to have her self-respect.

I am forced to go because of various situation, for my survival and I will not travel in the night time to get raped. If so, probably I would have chosen the other profession which is calling the rapist to come to me and we name them as a prostitute.

You cannot control on your own safety when the other person comes to you as a wild animal and what others do? I am not trying to invite someone to help me in the midnight.

Girls who dress with decently, don’t get raped. What else you want to wear a jeans and T-shirt or kurta is not enough for me to feel comfortable as decent? What about the woman getting raped who wears a traditional salwar or a saree as her dress?

Dress is not the matter for the guy who wants to rape a girl. It is the need of that particular time and a small wrong gesture from the girl also can initiate it to rape. Ideally if a woman is half naked also the guy is supposed to protect her not to rape her. You don’t need to give respect to that half naked woman, but give respect to yourself for what you are and you ought to be.

There is no such thing which can describe the character of a woman to get raped and it is the matter of the mindset of the guys and I don’t say all are wild.

It is the matter of maturity that needs to be brought in to the guy’s life. It is not the question of how the girl needs to be, it is time for the guys to know that girls are not for their sexual treasure without their concern.

If we see the few incidents that are reported in the recent times as sexual harassment or anything against women are being done when the so called women are submissive, dressed properly. Some are being kidnapped and brutally raped.

GUY’s It is not about what and who we are; it is about who YOU are. You don’t need to treat us equally but don’t try to show that you are super power by creating rape victims. Let your gestures make the girls to fall for you rather than going behind them or chasing them.

I really feel for the Nirbaya case because if it was happened in my house, I would not have let it to come out. I will not feel outraged or emotional or feeling sentiments. I would rather prefer to die than to get exposed so many times in different ways for someone else mistake.

Getting accused for thy mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Just Remember the Movie Damini (Hindi) which was remade in  Tamil as Priyanka will depict the condition of the victim and it is not a film, it is the current situation of the women in India. This movie was pictured in early 1993 and I remember that I saw this movie in 1994. Now in 2015, I am writing that the status of the woman is same.

For sure, this movie would have come of late with lot of such rapes happened in the society over two decades ago. If that is the situation of today’s India, what are we doing or heading towards women liberalization? There is no improvement for the women’s life and there is no social security provided by the constituency.

We have seen 4-5 elections and nothing changed. In a month I hear that 5 victims news happened in the capital city which has come to lime light.

GUYS be like a gentleman, if you don’t know the meaning, please learn it from your mother, may be your father failed to show it to you at home. There are some psychological needs are there for men and they get aggravated easily because of their psychological issues.

For some the family itself could be a problem, for some the family could have abandoned them for their characters. Some are illegitimate children without knowing their identity. I am not blaming all guys are bad and not saying that all girls are very good.

Have you ever heard any guys getting molested in public or getting harassed by girls? 

Here and there, this will also be there but within friends circle, they will be giggling or making fun not with an intention to insult you. Even if someone insults you in public, taking revenge on a woman doesn’t going to solve this issue. Any assault done by you to a woman is going to harm you and your family reputation as well. It is not only create the woman as a victim, but you as  accused and as Convicted.

Law will take it’s own time, but your family gets insulted for no reason. Just before doing any atrocities against woman count from 1 to 100 and think your family, your mother, sister, daughter in that woman for whom you are going to do the harm. I am sure that you guys will protect her and will not try to harass her.

Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

I am really amazed to see myself from the year 2009 to 2014… How I was in 2009? What kind of great changes in 2014? How is it possible?

I am not sure whether it is because of Arowana or because of my Age. One thing is for sure that I am working with a good employer and probably I can say as best employer for me.

Why is it a big deal for me to write about 5 years in a company? 

Only very few know with whom I am very close to from 1994, that I hate to continue in one company or in one stream and I will not be able to do a monotonous job.  My resume also will speak about my switching careers, but it is part of life, but somehow I wanted to stick with one company at least for 3 years. My patience level with most of the companies is 11 months and maximum was 19 months, I will learn and earn and leave the company. (not matured to serve the company)

I can say that whatever I learned, I utilized all my experiences with Arowana to stick with them for 5 years. Apart from Utilizing my own experiences, I learnt the art of patience from Arowana. I have to thank them for the way they have given me the opportunities. I have shown my attitude, arrogance as like others but when it is required to show my self-respect and not to damage the reputation of the company.

Now I know that I can’t beat this record of 5 years with any other companies as I don’t have that much patience to work for long time.

I remember how I joined Arowana and it was not a decision I made to stay here for 5 years. In an anger, I resigned from my previous employer. Initially I thought to take it as break. I was working continuously without any break. Due to the market situation/recession, I was forced to take a long break almost for 5 months and Arowana’s offer was the first one on my way while I was enjoying the break. I took it to give an end to my break, thinking that I will work for 3 or 6 months with them and I will switch over. That was the opinion provided by the friend who was with Arowana at that time.

Arowana might not be a ROSE flower to smell and enjoy the fragrance but it is not a cactus. If anyone is feeling it as a cactus, please find your way is what I will say as an employee of Arowana. No one is forcing you to hug a cactus for your survival and the more you are hugging, you will feel it as pain and create pain for others. We are the plants and we make it as a rose or cactus and I believe in it, I move with that belief.

From the day of joining, I know the people who are close to me, known to me who was working with arowana, left the organization and from other companies friends also left, but I never felt that I have to leave or even I have not given a try to find a job outside. Couple of years ago I tried with one of the company in India, and that was a trial to brush my skills to attend an interview.

4 years back one of my best friends who know me since 1995 asked me about my whereabouts in Skype, I told her that I am working with Arowana consulting and am into ERP Oracle practice from 2004. To her great surprise, she questioned me, how come you are still with Oracle, I thought by this time you would have switched to SAP/Siebel or out of IT.

After a short conversation with her, she asked how long you are with Arowana, Please change your company as soon as possible. I was surprised to hear this, because one side she was happy that I am into ERP for long time and she doesn’t want me to work with Arowana. She is like one of my best friend whose words are like bible for me, I will follow her.

But this time, I asked her the reason for it. She said, the reputation of the company is not good, the more you stay with them, you are going to lose your value. May be that is one of the reason for me to continue such long or what I don’t know.

I told her with a smile in my face, company’s reputation is based on the employees not based on the employers. Arowana does well means its employees are doing well and Arowana is doing worst or bad, then it means employees are not doing well.

Above all, I don’t have any issue with Arowana and I am happy to be part of it. I will not search a job as long as I am working with them. If I feel that I have to resign from Arowana, I will do it without even thinking for a minute, but as of now I am happy. Absolutely there is no issue with the company. She knows how I came out of Singapore, in 1996, I have thrown resignation on the Manager’s face for not approving the leaves and I am still proud of that act. But I will not do such thing for sure in future, you learn from your mistakes.

There are people who used to leave the organization without giving the notice period, without serving the notice period. We do have some hiccup issues but I can manage with it. I am thinking myself as an employer as I have faced these kind of heat and I know the difficulties of running an organization. If someone wants to leave for such reason, let them go and even I will say don’t stop them.

I don’t have any issues either with holding the passport (I hold my passport) or with the leaves or with the medical reimbursements or with any other thing for that matter. There is a delay but it is a known fact and even when I refer someone, I used to tell them all these as facts and if you wish, you can send your CV.

Whatever you are reading from the consumer complaints or any other social media are based on the individual employees reviews and comments. Everywhere it is same that when you are going to leave the organization, we have to see the hatred at both the ends. No Company is good in that matter. If at all I have to get relieved smoothly or for any other reason, I have to do the needful. Tomorrow I might have to face the heat but I am sure that I will not face like others or cry for that matter.

At times companies like TCS, Infosys sends a team out. Arowana has not gained any bad name of sending its employees. Here and there they would have asked one or two cases to leave based on some comments or feedbacks from their customers.

The reason for sharing the above incident is to say that WE ARE THE PILLARS of the company and without me spoiling the name of the company, it will not get spoiled. I am trying my best effort not to harm my reputation and I expect the fellow Arowanites to do the same. At least for the salary what you get (even delayed, but still you are getting it), be sincere and faithful for what you are getting today from your employer.

Today on the day of completing 5 years, I can proudly say that I have got increments with my employer and I am happy with what I have got. The last increment was not satisfying but I don’t complain or crimp about it because it was done across the organization in the similar manner. I cannot demand more as I know what is the revenue that I am generating for the company. Apart from my Salary there are other components which needs to be considered and the profit margin will be less. I am an employee only, I don’t need to consider it, I can change my job. Yes no one is stopping me or Arowana is also not saying that “Dont Go” If I have something better than this, they will be happy to send me.

In one of the clients place, a CFO during the course of our conversation once said that Arowana has not done it properly and I asked him to repeat it, he said I have high respect for you, but Arowana has not done it well. I told him politely that whatever you are saying as Arowana implies only to me as I am representing AROWANA and how can you contradict with your statement?

In the Same Company, CEO has said that Arowana has got the best employees whereas I have not get the best.  When I heard that I am very proud of Arowana and not of that Company.

Every client will throw the bone pieces to its contract employees by saying that you will be offered here in our own payroll. When I was given the bones from the couple of the clients of Arowana,  I told them, am not a fool to join this company, which means I am at a better place.

Couple of days back, I got the chance to visit the client, one guy asked me, how is your career growth in Arowana, I said I am satisfied with my growth. When I shared my experiences, he said it is marvelous.

I always used to say that I am at a better place and if at all I wish to join some customers, I will do it on own not against Arowana. It is not an ethic to join their clients without their concern and also I love consulting. If I wish to leave consulting, then also I will get the other choices from Arowana. That is the belief and faith what an employee should have with their employers. Whether they guide me or they ask me the option I leave it to the situations.

Whether the career growth is measured in terms of money or position or the knowledge, then I am getting wise, wiser and wisest with the opportunities provided by my employer.

I may not use this knowledge after 5 years, but I will be using it for the next 5 years J

I am not a mouth piece of Arowana or I don’t have any share with Arowana Management , I am one like you who is waiting for the salary to come on expected date, waiting for the appraisals to happen and so on. I will also get the same treatment when I am going to leave the organization, but I give respect to my Employer, at least till the day I work for them. It doesn’t mean that I can write bad about the company for whom I served for so long.

As per the saying, Don’t love your company, I love my job and I don’t love my Employer but I give respect to my Employer for providing the basement for me to love my job.

When you are satisfied and content with your life, you can see happiness in anything and everything

Don’t compare a company which is in growing stage with the grown companies. If everyone opts only for MNC’s, how can we have many more MNC’s? In few years we will have some changes in Arowana also, but before that everyone will do the damage and leave the organization for their own benefits. If that is the case, then how a company can show its prosperity?

I know that I have learned in my learning path much ahead of the MNC’s. MNC’s Can utilize these skills but they can make us to learn what I have learned from Arowana.

What I sow is what I will reap and I want to be at peace. I am contented with what I have and I am happy with my employer. You can see lot of changes in me, both physically (Glowing because I am always happy), professionally I am growing matured (I have not raised my hands or voice at any one in the last 5 years)

Truth is bound to win over falsehood.

Hey Dear All,

I am not blogging this as a part of learning some religion or to follow some religion. I am sharing this because if you want to follow your own religion follow it from the heart. If something mentioned here is wrong, please take it as an opportunity to correct my wisdom on the given contents from any religions.

Don’t ever pretend or take the do-able content from your religion and don’t do or show off something  to give an impression to others that you are clear and clean by heart as the other feels that you are following your religion from heart.

Friendship is something which is very green and pleasant to everyone. Here and there some will come and do little harm, insult, but the best of all relationship is friendship, because it doesn’t have blood relationship. It is very usual for people to have friendships with others whom they interact with . Friendships can be formed through growing up in the same neighborhood, meeting at school, college, university, social gatherings , working environment, gym, pub, restaurant and via a number of other activities.

Friendship is something common among people, however there are different conceptions of it. Some common conceptions include the following: friends will always stick by your side, you can always rely on a friend, you can speak freely to your friend and tell them your problems, friends like you for who you are, etc. When people have personal problems such as disputes with their family members or if they need advice they usually turn to their friends.

Do you know why god has not gifted the art of reading others mind, because he wants us to have the privilege of trusting, understanding and have faith in others.

When you start telling lies to your friend, do you know how it hurts the other person? Even before telling lies, I told you I will be saying a part of my life story to you as a lie. I will not be true in one scenario. I didn’t tell any lies to you. That is called as Sincerity. I tried to give trust by all means but you failed to keep up the trust in any means.

When you hurt someone, I believe you should face her in a remorseful way to show that you never meant to hurt her. If I was in her shoes I would want to know everything that goes around me, and if I discover that my friend exposed something and I found that out from someone else I would really get aggravated and I would feel that my friend isn’t worth trusting. “ONCE A LIAR IS ALWAYS A LIAR”

Don’t lie to your friend: 
One thing it is HARAM, second she is trusting you so don’t betray that trust if you let her know now you have a better chance of being trusted again than you would if you keep lying.

FOLLOW WHAT EVER YOUR HEART TELLS YOU, DON’T DO SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT END UP IN REGRETTING.

I do regret because of trusting you in-spite of knowing that you are lying to me. Over again and again I trusted you. All my pain is because of the trust what I had in you and I have to suffer for trusting you to this level. Yes I deserve punishment from god. You made me not to trust anyone in my life.

Truth is bound to win over falsehood.

In Today’s fast world most common problem in human is cheating others easily or to make fun of someone true feelings. If you are not serious for anything then don’t such things. Cheating/Betrayal is very painful for everyone. After hell of pain and agony, I am saying the below to the fellow people.

I am neither a follower of Islam nor Christianity and I am true to my religion. Even we don’t need to follow any religion, but we should not do harm to anyone by any means. Harm – unknowingly we do hurt others, but knowingly hurting others and giving them pain is sin in all the religions. There is no compulsion in any religion. Right has become distinct from wrong. So whoever rejects evil and puts faith in God has grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks.

I believe that God is hearing, knowing, and loving us. We don’t need to depend on others, but very few will make us to depend on them in the name of love for fun and they will ruin others life. This is to make someone understand that what their religion says about lying.

During a course of chat conversation, she said, I didn’t lie anything to you to harm you. I agree with her, may be her assumption is right, but there is a trust created in me. It is getting killed by your false statement which you were not aware of it or what?

After reading the below also, if you feel that you are not a liar, I am ready to change my assumption of saying tahat you are liar/cheater for your sake, I will say to the world she is not a liar, she talks only truth, when I will say that, I will not be true to myself. But I am ready to accept that you are not a liar or a cheater.

Lying

cheat-us-islamLying is among the sins of the heart. It is to utter false information while knowing that what one is saying is not the truth. It is sinful (haram) whether done seriously or jokingly.

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, said:

La yasluhul-kadhibu fi jiddiw wala fi hazl.  Which means: “Lying is not good, whether in seriousness or joking.” (Related by al-Bayhaqiyy.)

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, also said:   Iyyaka wal-kadhib, fa’innal-kadhiba yahdi ilal-fujur. Wa innal-fujura yahdi ilan-nar. Wala yazalul-^abdu yakdhibu wa yataharral-khadhiba hatta yuktaba ^indallahi kadhdhaba.

Which means: “Do not ever lie, because lying leads to very hateful sins, and those in turn lead to Hellfire. One keeps on lying and seeks to do that until one is recorded as a liar in some books of Allah.” (Narrated by Ibn Majah.)

After reading the above tell me, to whom you were sincere?? I don’t need to explain on this because when we tell lies, it means that you are killing the trust what the other person has on you. It need not harm them, but it is not going to help them or make them happy. When someone tells you, you look beautiful even though it is not from heart, that is not a lie, it makes someone happier for that moment. Telling someone a lie which is not going to harm them, or not going to have an impact on them, but still it is a kind of betrayal because the other person has so much trust on you that you will not tell any lies to her.

Trust, faith are something’s which you can’t get from someone without love. When someone trust you, you have to try to keep up the trust and not to misuse the trust. I showed my trust and faith because of the love what I had for you. Even though you have lived all your life only with lies, I have given more trust and trust and poured the faith, but failed to get even one percent of truth from you.

There are many things that are among the sins of the tongue and fall under the class of lying. They include: swearing by Allah to a lie, false testimony, and falsely attributing something to Allah and His Prophet.

When you promised something to me in the name of god, I was not able to feel it as a truth, because you are born to tell only lies. By swearing-in the name of god, you made me to feel that it need not a truth and made me to feel that even in the name of god she will tell lies. That is the trust what you have given to me. I swear, I got an impression, she will do any harm in the name of god also and she will say it is not harm.

Swearing by Allah to a Lie:

It is one of the major sins. It is for one to swear by Allah to something that is opposite to the truth. An example is if one says, “By Allah, I did such and such” while knowing that one did not do that action. Similarly, if one says, “By Allah I did not do such and such” when one has done it. This is to be considered using God’s name in vain, which indicates falling short of glorifying Allah properly.

I do believe that you will not lie in the name of god but when you say 10000 lies, even a truth in the name of god becomes a false statement.

False testimony: This is one of the enormous sins. An example is for one to testify in front of a judge that someone stole something while one knows that it did not happen. “False testimony is like claiming that Allah has partners.” (Related by al-Bayhaqiyy.)

Because of all your lies, now I feel even a true testimony from you whether it will be a truth or false statement? How do you expect me to trust you?

Severing the Obligatory Ties of Kinship

Severing the ties of kinship is among the sins of the body, and it is a major sin. This is done by breaking the hearts of the relatives by refusing to be good-hearted when they financially need money, or by leaving out visiting them without an excuse. If one usually helps one’s relatives, then one lost the money, or one found a more urgent need for it, then one would not be sinful for not offering it to one’s relatives. Avoiding people because they did something wrong to you or they tried to correct your mistakes or they treated you badly.

I don’t need to say about this, when one of your colleague was giving a party and the way you avoided it shows what kind of Muslim you are? When you can do this kind of arrogant attitude with a fellow Muslim lady, I can expect that you will do any kind of harm to me as I am from a different religion. When I heard it, I felt so bad because the way I had the trust in you, I thought you will not do these kind of silly things. How could you do this? whatever you discussed with me were words from your mouth not from heart.

Promotions are decided by the people who are ahead of us and if we don’t get it, it doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve it, god wanted someone else to get benefit out of it. You were saying that what is there I will get it when it is destined to me.. Now even if you get it doesn’t going to make anyone happy because the way you reacted to others happiness, will impact yours as well. I know you will not mind it because only humans will have

“Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allaah is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is Most-Forbearing.” [Quran 2:263]

I know how much I have forgiven you and tried to hold you not with hands, but with love and care, but you spoiled not only my trust but also killed my each and every cell with your ill attitude and behavior. I really don’t know how your parents will take when they hear about you from others, but I was brutally killed and I don’t feel like I have to live or to love anyone. You made me a dead body. I have life, but living like a dead body in grief because of the love for you.

Truth is bound to win over falsehood – God is with me, that’s why he made me to realize all your colors and made me to feel that this is a punishment for loving, trusting, caring, and showing the real affection to a person who don’t deserve it.

 Imām `Alī ibn Husayn (a.s.),

used to say to his son:“Keep away from little and big lies whether you are serious or kidding! Whoever tells lies in childhood, will do so in adulthood.”  Do you not know that the Messenger of Allāh (s.w.t) has said:
‘A servant may keep on speaking truthfully until Allāh (s.w.t) records him as a very truthful one, and a servant may keep on telling lies until Allāh (s.w.t) records him as a very lying one.’

[Reference: Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 69, p. 234]

To Speak the TRUTH, you don’t need to follow any RELIGION, just you need to follow your HEART. I quoted the above from your religion because you wrapped yourself saying that you are following your RELIGION and as per your Religion – how you need to be and what you are? You are not true even to god 😦 . 

Whatever I have given here are just to say that this is what you have to do, there is lot many more to come in your life and don’t give them the same pain. I am saying all these as  vent out all my pain, caused by you, without doing any harm to you. Even this is to guide you, to make you right in your way. If god can help you to correct your way, I will be thankful to him. I know I can’t do it, but god has to talk to you in a way so as you can change yourself. Of course he will touch you, if you don’t listen to him, he will shake you, if you don’t listen, then he will take the root so as you will know what you are doing is right or wrong.

Even after reading all this family values, if you say that you have a family value, oh god, what kind of value it is , please make me to understand it…..

Grief – Pain of Death

What is Grief?

Grief is the term used to describe emotional responses to major losses. Bereavement, grief, and mourning are all terms used to describe the same thing: the intense pain that follows the loss of a loved one.

I remember this word was told by my best friend recently and she said to me, you are not shedding your tears for the one who cheated you, but you are grieving for your lost child. Yes she was correct. I would have taken the grief also happily, if the kid would have died but it killed everyone and it is enjoying its life.

Most shameful thing is that one for whom I am killing  me(my happiness, peace, health, wealth, good habits) also asked me a question, if I die what will you do? I told her, I am not a Muslim to pack my grief in 3 days and we will have grief for one year and at least I will have deep pain for a year. but I didn’t know that before her death itself she will give that pain to me.

I know I was attending my own funeral by killing my happiness

This time I am not going to write about someone who is living, and this is about someone who will live in the hearts of many/ those who know him.

Senthil MariappanA Supply chain management consultant whom I know through my ERP network and I have not seen him during his life time, who has considered me as his sister and we used to chat a lot before and after his marriage. Due to work pressure and work tension and other unwanted association, I stopped most of my communications with many good hearts and Senthil was one among them.

Today I regret for not chatting with him during the last 1 year time. Most of the time, I used to communicate with almost those who are known to me and I don’t keep too much gap in my communication.

Due to the restrictions of the Gmail access and other social networking access in most of the companies, I have not seen him in online for long time and I am not very good in calling and speaking to my friends. I prefer to have the networking only through Gtalk or through Facebook. I do call those who used to pick their phone to reach me. Somehow we didn’t develop this kind of communication within us. I regret for not doing this my friend.

I have constant communications with his friends and I have asked about this guy with another friend also.

Suddenly a new ID, asked for permission to add me, I thought it is from a person who made me stupid by all means as I am expecting something from him. So added and asked a rough question who is this?  He asked “Do you know Senthil, I told him I know many Senthil as my brother’s name is Senthil, a friend from Abu Dhabi is Senthil, and couple of more people as Senthil from ERP network.

Even before answering my question he said, he passed away in Andaman. I was shocked and he pasted the local newspaper content.News paper confirmed it happened on 17th March. Tears were flowing like anything because of thinking about his wife who was married two years back. There are some ugly characters living in this world, but god likes only good hearts. He gives more pain to those who are good and takes good people to his kingdom who are very soft and good.

I was shattered; I was unable to believe that he is no more. I was not able to believe it, but the newspaper message said that it is him and it has shown the license copy of my friend. He died because of a heart attack and at the age of 31. Oh god, you are giving stone heart to some people and so soft heart to good people? what is this my lord? why are you playing like this?

There are people who are asking you for death, there are people who are sinners, who are cheaters, who are betrayers, who live and suck others blood like an animal, and this guy is so soft, a good heart person and why you wanted his life to end so soon?

Anyway I was grieving for something and god is showing that these kind of things are happening in the world, don’t worry, good deeds and bad deeds doesn’t come with others deeds. It is based on their own deeds only.

Grieving Losses – Grieving the loss of someone whom we love will be there in our heart for a long very long period and it is very painful process. But there is still hope. That we will cope up and come back to normal.

Grieving from a loss and healing from that loss require one to examine and re-examine the place of a loved one or a relationship. This process, the grief stages, of getting used to life without someone close to you can take over a year to work through. Experts have compared the death of a child, for example, to what it feels like to lose a limb. It gets easier to cope as time goes on, but it still takes a long time to work through the stages of grieving.

It’s easy to formulate a theory or a process for your grief to work through; however, actually working through those stages of grieving proves much more difficult. We may have a lot of method to grief, and each method looks different for each person.

After all, some steps in the healing process are easier than others—some days are easier than others. Your relationship with your loved one was unique (as like her name); expect you’re grieving to be unique. The way of hurt is also unique, very deep and it is very difficult to get healed, but god has shown the ways.

My grief was not in coping with death which allows you to meet really supportive people, but the death of someone inside the heart. But this death of my friend really made me to feel that why should I grieve because god has not taken that life, and even if it happens I will not feel heartache this much because I know that she is an unworthy person.

This death of my friend has given me a lesson that I have to be supportive to those who lost him as a mentor, the person who shared this news with me has got my mail id from my friend(Senthil) saying that she is my sister, send your CV to her, she will help you.

Somehow this new friend has not shared his CV with me, but when I got the friend request from him, I was really in a different mood and I was feeling that someone is going to get killed by me.

Bereavement requires a grief support group. Somehow I have an aversion of death and I used to get ready for the people around me about their death well in advance so as I can take it up when I face the situation.

As you work through the death of a loved one, you need a place where you can vent, where you can be honest about grief and your emotions, and where you can move through the grief stages without fear or regret.

If we get ready to get the support for the grief, it can provide a really support of friends who identify with you at a very deep level. They can move beyond showing you sympathy to really empathizing with you. I can say that I got lot of support to come out of the grief, unfortunately I was not able to come out of the grief and the situation how I was has become grief to many people around me. With the existing pain I was in deep pain because all the lovable people around me are also suffering because of me.

Will I ever see my loved one again?” The bonds forged by shared experiences are the strongest bonds. And, as you struggle to find meaning in death and dying, realize you’re not alone.

Sometimes, the sadness may be an opportunity for us to return to faith in God or involvement in our religious system. The belief in an afterlife can really ease our minds when it is for others but when it comes to loss of family members or the death of a child it is really a difficult task to handle.

I was killing myself for the death of my unborn child is really painful because, it was not born to me, but it was in front of me, it was not my adopted child, it was not of my blood  and I just felt the feeling of a child through her and how could I come out of this heavenly feeling?

She is alive and I have to consider her as dead. How to grief for the one who is alive and need to feel that she is dead? How to control myself with this feeling? What kind of death you have shown to my kid god? Why did you give that feeling through her? If I don’t grief for this then for what I could grief and I will not be called as a human because I don’t show my grief out for any other things other than the people hurting me in this way.  

Normally When I grieve for someone deeply, I will think 100 times and Iw ill come out faster. This time my grief is not only because of the death of my child, but also because of self-pity and I was not able to forgive myself for allowing someone to play with my feelings and sentiments

What is the purpose of grief in our life? The other name of mine is Hope and Encouragement. The way I give my hope and encouragements are from me, and it is not from their strength, it is from my strength, I am giving them the life of hope.

My word of hope creates encouragement in them and they find the hope in front of their eyes through me. To give others hope, I must have the hope of living and leading the life happily. I can’t tell someone smile from heart, when I don’t smile. When I say something to others I have to follow and I don’t like to tell someone which I don’t follow. I am a follower and not a preacher.

Finding God and Your Grieving – Anything under God’s Control is never out of control, God will make a way even though there seems to be no way!

May of my friends suggested me to enter into spirituality, but for me it is a big problem that I can even think about god, when I am not happy. That means I pray to god only when I am happy and I can’t go to him to cure my pain or sorrow. It is not the time to embrace my god, because he knows that I am weak if he gives me trouble. He knows my strength, he knows my weakness, and if he is giving me some pain means, he knows that I need the strength to overcome this and he knows when to give that strength also to me.

I beg for others to god not for my weakness because that weakness was given by god, why should I go and beg him saying that give me strength. I will say, I know you are the creator, you are the screen play writer, you wanted me to go through this pain, I don’t know how long I have to go through this, but give me the serenity to understand that “Even this will pass away”. I am very weak mentally and only with you I am a very strong woman. You are my strength, I trust in you and I move with your guidance. Do whatever you want to do with me. If this is your wish and play, let me enjoy and suffer it.

You want me to curse someone, let me do it, you want me to feel someone as very bad human of this world, let me feel it, but don’t make me to hate her. If you say that, then there is no use of all my grief. I know god, with great difficulty only you made me to come out of that hell. But still why did you allowed me to enter into the hell.

The Hold books are real, authentic, genuine book– filled with the stories and thoughts of real people. I don’t prefer to get into religious sentiments when I am sad because our mind will not allow us to get in touch or to feel the divine.

I know it helps to convince us that our grief is just in our head. Your grief is real, your pain is actual, and there’s still the opportunity for true healing.

If you consider most prominent people from religious front, their life was filled with sorrow, much of their life they will be betrayed, cheated, or wanted to be killed by his opponents, close friends cheating, family taking revenge, but they will be able to devote their time to god. Somehow I have not come to that situation to devote my time to god because I was holding the unwanted things in my hand, head, heart…

To end whatever I am, it is the glory of my beloved parents, friends, siblings, family, surroundings and the heavenly father. I know only one thing is that I don’t go with the wind, but I go with guidance of my god. My trust and faith in you can’t be shattered because of this kind of painful moments. I know you will help me to recover, but it really took long time as I have not spent that much time also with her.

They all have turned me from my mourning into smiling, of course dancing is not possible and I lost every charm of my life with one world. 

God has put off my black days and hugged me with gladness through different and new people, when I was holding the pain of my life and in deep grief. Thanks for the support.

I praise the god for giving the serenity in marvelous splendid way to accept the truth and not to go silent to the cemetery.  Thank you for giving me the realization that I was digging my own burial ground and giving me the clarity that I am not for that. I thank you for providing so many wonderful hearts around me and sincerely praying to you to guide all of them in their special way and keep all of them under your shadow and within the reach of my heart.

Family Value-3 Thanks giving

Family values continues…

Thanks Giving…. This is one of the biggest things that the parents have to teach the kids.

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. 

It is not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. 

One of the best ways to show your real feelings even to the strangers is thanks giving. I don’t know how I learned it, but I learned it at very young age. Thanks will make a stone heart also to smile. Of course it is applicable only human and not applicable to wild animals. Thanks is the beautiful flower that blossom springs from the soul.

I remember that I used to travel in cycle rickshaws from the main bus terminus to my house. A person will pedal the cycle rickshaw, two to four people can travel from one place to another place. It still exists in our area but with some modern amenities, now the person is not required to pedal, they used to fix it with some motors in it.

We used to pay the money, but I used to say thanks to that guy every day. One day I traveled alone and he asked me what is there to say thanks, you are paying and I am dropping you in the place where you want to go.

Money is for the work what you have done, thanks is for the way you dropped me safely. When I say thanks, I see the smile in your face. That smile means a lot to me. After that I used to say thanks to almost all the drivers and I have seen lot of smiles in this way. It helps me to get closer to them and it helps me to give an impact in them that I have respect for their work. It means that I give respect to them as a human. It is a quality of humanitarian.

I follow the same with almost with all and mostly with the labors and when I think this now, from where I got it, I feel that it is from my parents only. They used to do it, but they didn’t teach me. This was not taught by someone and if at all I have to say that I learned it from one of my teacher under whom I studied my class 5 and 6.

She didn’t teach that we used to say thanks to everyone. I learned it from her by seeing her way of approach to the office boys and the non-teaching staffs in the school. When a guy brings the attendance book, she will say thanks and every day I have seen her saying thanks to one or the other. It is inclusive of the students who used to bring the chock pieces. (Usha Rajaraman was her name) I am sure that I learned to say thanks 28 years back.

Most of my friends used to say that I am a good observer and many like me for the way I used to observe the things happening around me without socializing with them. Most of my teenage friends know how sharp I was in getting the information without talking to them.

I used to observe both the good and bad from others and I take the good and try to correct the bad of them. Thanks giving I observed from that teacher and till today I follow it whole heartedly. Especially when someone does something even with little effort I will say my sincere thanks to them. This applied to the office boy from whom we get a cup of tea or my friends helping me with their support.

Why I took this as a subject is when you like someone, the good things of them will have some impact in you. People, who are very close to my heart or those who feel me as close to their heart, will have the impact of my love and care in them. I am really surprised to see you because the way you were with me, I am sure there was something in me would have made you to become so close.

In anger I can say that you tried to be so close with me or cheated me with a motivation but am sure that something impressed you. Why I am surprised is I really feel bad that not even 1% of my goodness has touched you and what made you to feel so impressed with me? How can you be so cruel in your life? Or how I was so careless in identifying your real color? I am answerable to god for the talent what he has given me, I have to understand whether I move with human or with animal and I have to treat the human like a human and an animal like an animal only.

Even now I say thanks to you because for giving this much pain, because I was praying to god to give me the serenity and I want to get rid of the worldly life. Now no one can come closer to my heart as I am so scared to allow someone to it. But my basic and inborn character of showing love to human will not change, but this will be in a different way. I learned to know that there are people without humanitarian also.

Mostly I have to thank you very much. I don’t have any words to say my sincere thanks to my wonderful Sweet Adorable Darling. Only because of you my life has become full and only because of you I have become zero.

When people used to ask me, you are missing something as a woman, I used to tell them, yes, you are right that I missed, I am missing it or I will be missing it. It is your perspective and in your eyes I miss it but as a woman, I can love all around me as like a mother. It is a great blessing and those who have felt it has shared it with me and I don’t need to share it only with my own blood. I don’t live for the worldly sake, but I live my life for the world sake.

The time I was about to post one of my colleague who is younger to me by 12 years, I scolded him and said sorry for scolding you. Immediately he replied saying that you can scold me, you are like my sister or mother. So I don’t need to go and search people and people are around me to give that feeling and comfort. You are the only one who will not love/like the people for what they are and who want them only for your time without making them understand what you are.

I heard it from so many people  used to tell me that  you are doing like a mother, sister etc., but I never felt the motherhood with any of them. It is really unfortunate for me, because they would have felt so happy at least if I would have made them happy by acknowledging their feelings. I don’t know whether it is my mistake to feel that special feeling with you or god’s mistake in creating you like this wild creature.

We often take for granted that very things that most deserve our gratitude.

Normally people will thank to god, for giving them a new day, but I thank god before going to bed for giving me a wonderful day as today and say that I don’t know whether tomorrow is my day or not because only when I wake up, I will know that day is mine or not, but when I go to bed, I know for sure that the day has ended.

I hope you remember that I used to say that my last message in the night I want it to be for you. Because I don’t know whether I will be able to say Good morning to you the next day or not.

Thanks to god for giving me the serenity through you. He showed me the greatest feeling what I never felt like missing in my life and I never felt also. I was happy without feeling it and I was happy when I felt it and even now am happy after throwing it out of me.

May be god showed you in my eyes and gave the greatest feeling just to feel that in my later part of life, I should not regret that I missed it during my young age. Now I say thanks to god that I am happy that I don’t have a kid. It is better not to have a kid like you.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. I tried to live by this words with you, but it is easy to practice this with human and very hard to practice with those who live like humans. There is difference between the human and like humans.

Whatever pains, I have got that is the biggest punishment from god only for whatever has happened in my life. I am very happy to take it as a lesson of my life and move ahead without giving any room for such feeling with anyone else.

Thanks giving is possible only for those who have strong memory and who take time to remember; No one can give thanks who has a very poor memory or a person like you with short-term memory loss.

Saying thanks in a way says that you give respect to the fellow-men. – Respect – will continue…..

Family values love

Family Values

Hello my dear wrong member,

There is a lovely song in Tamil, hello my dear wrong number, but not applicable to you because you are a wrong member in my heart. Anyways no fun with you and you are really a wrong member only. Whatever you have said, has a great impact in me and the reason for the family values to come out from my heart is because I was not able to question you, what it is?

I don’t know where to start or how to start about the values of family. Even with tears, I was smiling on that day when I read your message but that was not a smile as I used to smile with you normally, a sarcastic smile and you don’t know how I was on that day and was in full tension when we were having the SMS chat on 25th January 2013. I was unable to control my emotions and the way you were responding, if you were in front of my eyes, that would have been the last day for both of us irrespective of you being a stranger or my kid.

I was lying in my bed and I was not able to keep my body in rest and literally I was above two inch from bed and my body was jumping out of high pressure… Whole body was shivering and the way my heart was beating and thought am counting my last breaths, even then I was trying to be soft and polite with you. But you showed your arrogance even after doing such kind of activities.

If this activity was done by my own blood, I would not have felt this much. only my hands and legs would have spoken to her/him. I would have slapped left and right like anything, because I have those rights to do it with my blood. I can say for sure that my blood will not do it. Do you know what could be the worst thing in a mother’s life? “Someone saying that your kid has done spoiled my life or someone’s life”. To be honest whatever I heard should have been heard only by your parents and they have to feel like how I was feeling, but god gave me that punishment for feeling you as my kid.

The way I have shown my love, care, trust and the way I have given the respect to you, nobody in the world can give it for what you are. I don’t know whether to regret for this or to feel happy that god made it to realize your color so soon.

What is the use of saying how I was or how am I? It is not going to impact the wall or an animal. It wants its own happiness.

Let me come to the topic. What you said on that day? Your family has values and you will not go beyond certain limits? What a joke my dear? What kind of value does your family has?

I am not saying or giving anything bad about your family because I know to give respect even to my enemy, but I really want to know what your family values are?

Do you know who will talk about others values, those who doesn’t have any self-values will carry others values on their shoulders?

Do you know what family values are?  How do you decide your family values? Have your elders or anyone at home taught what family values are? Ideally nobody teaches it and it has to grow in each and every person. Even if they would have taught you, are you following any of it? Do you know how you have to keep up your family values? Do you really know what you mean in a family?  

Family Values are a traditional set of social ethics or standards defined by the family and a list of customs that give the emotional and physical basis for raising a family.   As an Indian, our social values are often strengthened by our spiritual or religious beliefs and traditions.  It is defined as the quality which adds worth of living a life.  Do you think you add value to your family? If you say that your family still has some values, then I will feel that your family doesn’t have any values at all.

In spite of my so much tension, I wanted to ask you what your family values are.  But I didn’t because I know that you can’t answer it. If I don’t ask this question to you in my life, God will not forgive me. I can’t forgive myself. What else you want to do and say that your family has values?

Hey am not asking it as fun, I am serious and very curious to know what your family values are? Please answer at least to this question.

In most of the family, values are rules or ideals that as a family, we agree to live by and stay true to it. We follow it as a tradition. We share our love, we share our care and concern, we tend to help others, and we move politely with others, we live in harmony, we give respect to each other and we fight with each other.

When I started this topic , I am smiling because neither you have values nor you have values for your family. If so, you will not call me when they are not around you and will not disconnect that call abruptly without telling me the reason. Only your messages will inform me that your father came home or your brothers came back from work or from prayers. Don’t you think that you are cheating not only your family but also hurting the other person?

If they are not happy you can directly say it to me rather than maintaining a false relationship. To satisfy whom you were doing this? Do you know how much it will hurt all the parties? Initially I thought really your family has some values. I mean they are strict and you are following your religion sincerely. That time itself, I should have come to conclusion that there is no ethics or values especially from you for your family. I have not done it because I know to share not only love but also to give respect to the other person.

I am not condemning about your family as I don’t know anything about others. May be they all know what it is and tried to teach you as well, but as like me they also failed in all their attempts.

Having strong well-defined family values helps the base for a robust, tight-knit family. Family values are very important in building trust and confidence in each family member.

I don’t want to talk about your family values or ethics as I can say negatively more about you in volumes. Let us not worry about who you are what is your family values and everything. Let’s see the basic things of a family values…

Slide-182Family values are the foundation for how children need to grow, taught and supported. I am not going to stop with one word as family values, I am going to say a lot about family values.

You really got hurt when I said that you change your character before praying or asking or demanding or feeling for a baby, even now I am telling the same, try to find out what is family values so as you can teach your children grow with family values. Your kids also will follow you and poor people like me with real morals will get hurt because of this kind of uncultured civilizations.

I have taken all my failures as stepping stones for my success and I never carry the stones on my shoulder whether it is my mistake or others mistakes I used to make it as channel to learn and move ahead.

I have told you this is what I am and I have not shown my Violet, Indigo, Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Brown, and Black to you… I have only one color real white color and I show the same white when it is love and when I hate also it is the white color.

The way I used to fire people around me, only god knows how I used to show my anger, but I have changed with time and it happens with everyone. I never tried to control my emotions, but with you the more I tried to suppress the more I got hurt.

In your case, I really got hurt because of the feeling what I had for you otherwise I will not consider any of your words as words also because I give importance only to those who are real and true. I considered each and every words of you like the first words of my kid. That was my mistake only. I should not blame you for that because you were not knowing how I was thinking about you :(.

When some stone hurt me, I will not try to take the stone on my shoulder, I will throw the stone to the one who was trying to hit with that. It is my ethics, if I get love, I give it back 100 folds, if I get hatred also I will return it with 100%.  Only difference is I was not able to show that hatred and I tried to correct instead of correcting myself. We are not supposed to go nearer to a wild animal, which knows only to hurt those who come close to it.

With you, I don’t understand whether it is my mistake, or sin or punishment from god or best feeling or worst feeling and I am really stunned and don’t know what to do also with those good hearts around me.  I was not able to trust any good hearts around me  because of you. This is one of the biggest sin by you and you will never be able to clear it from your life.

Instead of giving this much pain to me, you could have killed me. Relationship never dies on its own, it used to be murdered by ego, attitude and arrogance, without respect, without love, without care… You are the one who can do all of it together, still am surviving because of my own good deeds.

I know what my family values are and I knew it through my friends and outside circle how they see me. Every day I feel proud when one or the other friend used to say that we are blessed to have you as my friend. My family also will feel proud because of the name what I have from my external circle.

There are so many friends who used to say me that they are proud of my parents for giving such a good friend to them. They have seen the humanity in me and they used to say that it has to come from your blood and you are blessed to have great parents. Yes I am and I thank god at this point of time for making me to realize that both of them are so good.

I am not the one who takes my family value and go behind it; I am of the one who add value to my family as well as to my friends. If you want you can go and check with my friends and each one will tell their experiences with me in highly respectable manner. I used to ask you tell me your friends, I will check with them how you are? But now, if someone wants to know about your value, ask them to check it with me or read my blog.

Oh God, I have to curse you(god) for creating such a creature and showing her in front of my eyes. What for you have shown her and made me to feel the best feeling through her. Is it only to suffer like this? Every second I am dying in pain.

Nobody in the world will pray for their death, even 70 years old or 90 years old wanted to live their life but at 37 I want my life to end and when I step out of my flat, I say to myself, please god, do some miracle and hit me or make me to die without hurting others.

Still I will say that let death hug me when I am happy..  I used to tell him don’t spoil my parts and let it live before I die, I want to make people live and I want to live even after my death. I have to give my organs, give me a death where my brain can get injured or I can go to coma stage and I can’t survive but I can make some others to survive.. Even after death I want to live in others.

Hope god will take my life as soon as possible for showing you in front of my eyes. If god has some mercy on me, he will help me to overcome this.

I have just touched what comes from family values are Love, Respect, Trust, Thanks, Communication and many more things are there, If I don’t stop now, it will go on. Let us see one by one slowly.

Family Values Continues……