Tag Archive | possessiveness

Jealous

Most of my contents are about the people who touched my life in beautiful ways, but this content is about someone whom I hate from the bottom of my heart. Why should I hate this person without any reason?

Reason is Jealous – Is this a natural feeling Jealousness or being forced in us?

Jealous is one of the subjects which I love to discuss at this point of time, because in the recent times, I was addicted to this word not because of very special person of my life or someone whom I can’t live without or someone whom I love so deeply. This has nothing to those who are so close to me. Usually we get the feeling of jealous when we are close to someone and we name it as possessiveness in the beginning. In reality, it is not possessiveness.

Normally we are very fond of getting ‘Jealous’, and I feel almost everyone in the world is fascinated. Jealousy grows in us in different way, either from ourselves or from the other person also. Jealous leads either to growth or downfall in any relationship or in any matters.

bless-storm

I don’t know ‘Jealous’ can influence me to this level to hate someone whom I am not going to see in my life time or to avoid the person whom I am close with for my life time. I am writing about someone with whom I have not interacted. I have not seen her or even I don’t even know anything about her other than her name. I hate her for that one reason that she has the same name as my name as her first name.

It is a true fact that she became close to my brother only because of her name. When my brother told me, I should have asked him not to continue any stupid bondage with that female, but I never used to feel such kind of feelings and I was not interested to know about her name also. I came to know about her name also after sometime only. Even he told me, if you say, don’t talk to her, I will not talk to her, but why should i say him talk to her or don’t talk to her.

I am surprised to see that I got the jealousy with a person who is neither close to me or even closer to the person who is the reason for it. I mean, I can see him, touch him, slap him, sit with him and have a dinner, watch a movie with him, go with him in his bike, can take photographs with him instantly, I can ask him to prepare food for me, the moment I think, I can meet him, the moment I feel like I have to talk to him, I can pick up my phone and call him, I can scold him, I can do whatever I want with him, normally jealous comes only with those who are closer or someone who is nearest to competition with us.

I think my brother is the reason for all the drama’s because he has nothing to talk to me other than blabbering about that woman. He doesn’t know how to handle it and because of that he created this so called rivalry or jealousy.

It is not only with me, even with him, it is the same case, if he says I want to see you now, I can login to skype and if he says I want to meet you in person, I will fly for him during the weekend. He will not see the time or the day to call me or to message me. I never allowed him to long for my message or for my replies, may be that was my mistake and was readily available for him to share his instant feelings. I did it in a feeling that I know how difficult it is for a person to care and to be cared and I have given all the respect for his love and care.

To get a message from her, he has to wait for her lunch time, to get a call he has to long for the Sunday to come and there are many more things which he will not get as he gets through me. But whatever 10 minutes or 10 hours of time he spends with her makes him to feel happy and that was the reason for me to keep silence.

She is no where nearer. She has not seen India for the last 10 years. Even if she meets him, it will be temporary. I am of the person who will not care even if the other person leaves me for such stupid reason. That too if he goes behind her, I will be happy so as I don’t need to handle this immatured guy, who doesn’t have any value for others feelings and it is her responsibility to handle him.

Many of us cannot see if someone else does better than us. But I am not of this kind of person to feel jealous. If she can do better I will be happy to leave him forever. I have my own style of handling people. I have many more in the queue and if one gets reduced, I will get two more in the queue to love me more than him. I am not able to give my time for those who are in my queue.

I know how much I used to smile, when I give my hand as an help to my colleague or to a friend or a stranger. I know how much happiness I gave to a stranger couple of days back, I know for sure that neither this brother of mine or his new female friend can give it to anyone in that manner. It was just a matter of trying to help him, fortunately I was able to help him and the way he blessed me made me to feel that I was in heaven at that point of time. I don’t need to go to people to make them happy, god sends them when they need it. Even this guy was sent to me in a special way by god. I never considered him as a stranger but today he became a stranger because of his own actions. what you sow is what you reap, and punishment is for me.

If he can leave me, for the person whom he has not seen or not felt any sort of love and care, then it is not worth to hold him for any reason. But the way he created the jealous, he needs to be punished, I know this is not a punishment for him, but I will take it as a punishment for me because of giving my love and care for a person who doesn’t know the value of it.

I don’t need to understand about that educated foreigner because who doesn’t have anything to do with me, but the one who was with me for close to 3 years should think of all and decide what he needs in his life. I have many questions for that female, but it is all useless to question a 3rd person. I feel that I wasted my 3 years of time with him. For sure that he is going to lose many more in life if he continues with the same attitude. This is not childish behavior, but criminal, crooked and wickedness.

If I was possessive like him, I would not have allowed anyone in his life but I was not possessive, then how did this jealous came into my life?  Life cannot be possessed and I know for sure that I cannot have him in my fist. That is one of the reasons for me to set him free, if he was destined to be with me, he will be with me, and if not let him go. I have to feel happy that it is not my destiny to hold a person who can influence negativity in me.

 A heart that has jealous cannot love, and similarly a heart that loves cannot be jealous. But somehow he has planted the jealous and created a rivalry between two innocent females.  I used to feel for any relationship has validity, with you I never felt that it has expiry date but yours is also seasonal and the season is over. Wish you at least to keep it alive with the other person.

I cannot hold the other person not to include intruders in between any relationship. Trespassers will come and go and we need to struggle all through the life because of these weird people.

To be honest, I used to tell my friends that you can’t create jealous in me and you are feeling jealous and created this jealous because that jealousy you have received as and inheritance. Those who knows his new relationship, none of them like him to be close with the new female and everyone suggested him to be away or they don’t even care about what is going on his life. It was not a natural relationship as it was in between us.

People Only Get Jealous, When They Care. If you understand the concept of love in deep, we will not get jealous when others care, because people need only care not the person. If it is being given to you by me or by the person with my name, am not concerned. If someone can make you happy, I will feel happy because I don’t have time to think who is doing as I am busy in making others happy. I don’t have time to miss someone who doesn’t have the love and care for me and I am really busy with my loved ones.

Giving freedom is a joy, having freedom is a joy. I am not a fool to hug a cactus and say that it hurts me. Either live happily or say good-bye happily. There is no reason to hold it.

Real love is as uncertain as your life is uncertain.

Advertisements

Is Love painful?

Does love cause pain or is it really a feeling caused because of fear? or is it because of the negative emotions caused because of Love? Ideally Love is not painful and it is a pleasant feeling and the fear of love or the negative feelings because of love.

Love is an inconceivable feeling. Love is a beautiful and unbelievable feeling. It makes us to fly in heaven. It never creates pain.
The pain and hurt what we feel doesn’t come from love and it comes from within us on many factors like doubts, fears, anxiety, rejections, possessive nature, distrust, broken trust, envy, jealousy etc. We chunk ourselves with all these feelings and keep saying that love causes pain.  This pain can cause the burden to the heart and I am sure it is not because of the love. Where there is love, there is trust and where there is trust there is no pain. We take all the uncomfortable feelings to our heart and we create chaos.

If we really consider that our relationship is primary and it is important to us, If we value our relationship or the love what we have for the other, then we will not create any turmoil to our relationship. Neither we were taught or educate ourselves that love cannot give pain. All the unwanted feelings are not part of the love. When we are fearful or anger or anxious or jealous, are we experiencing a state of love? We surely feel there is difference in the love .

Love feels warm, Love feels joy, love is felt deep in the heart. Love gives a deep sense of satisfaction Love has to be approached as per the Maslow’s theory (Hierarchy of Needs)

There is a lot of difference between need and want. Love also plays a vital role when it is a wanted relationship and a needed relationship. When you see the love as a wanted relationship you will not have any kind of other ill feelings, even if something crops up, we will say I love it. I will take it easily. When you see the love as a needed relationship, then we allow the pain to enter and play with our heart.

When we enter into a relationship we don’t get into it knowing the good and bad of it. We admire something and fall in love. In reality when we see the changes and we feel that we are very good about ourselves. When we enter in to the love, we become dependent and we expect our love to feel that we need our associate to make us feel good about ourselves. Whether the love is there or not, we were feeling too good about us.  If we would have felt lonely or empty before their entry into our life, we feel that the vacuum is being filled by them and it becomes supreme for us. We fear that space will become empty if they leave, so their staying becomes vital. We become dependent of them and the dependency creates the fear and unhappiness and obviously threat is there in any relationship of leaving the bond.

Either the heart or our mind is not ready to accept that these are not our permanent saviours and they are not here to help us but only to give pain because of the love what you show to them.

We become friends so easily and we fail to keep up it or we give damn to that because we know that they are ours. How a friendship is born?

We meet as strangers. We will talk to the stranger. We get introduced. We admire something in them, we feel some closeness, some comfort feeling, some love, some care etc.,. The stranger will become closer to us, and will become as our friend.  Very few will become special and will become more than everything and some will give the impact of nothing as well.

Stranger will keep on telling that I can’t live without you. I need you to guide me, I need you for this and that and all blah blah.. Initially stranger will say I miss you on on on on & on. . . . .

Everything will be going fine in the friendship. Suddenly they will change with a reason or without a reason. May be they get a new person in their life. In beginning they will tell you about the new person, they will slowly stop talking about that person, they will hide things & stop sharing anything.

If you call they will say I will call you later… I am LITTLE BUSY will talk later. Then they will never call you, you will think that person is busy but ACTUALLY YOU HAVE LOST him/her.. It will take more time for us to realize that the close friend has become a stranger to us. By the time,  we realize that the close friend has become as a stranger, we would have lost ourselves in that friendship.

Don’t bring people close to your heart, because the problem with the close 1 is that, they know where to hit exactly!!

It is better that we should know about ourselves before we enter into any kind of relationship. We are allowing the other person to break our heart. When we start loving others, that moment we become fragile. The moment you enter into any relationship you become weak and vulnerable. You are helpless and you are forced to get the pain because you allowed them to make you weak.

 “Knowing Others is Wisdom, Knowing Yourself is Enlightenment.”

Who knows more about me? Does a friend knows more about me, my parents, my spouse, my kids ? who knows more about me other than myself. No one is closer than me and I love myself more than any one.

It is very much required to get the clarity about who you are and what you want (and why you want it). Sometimes we dwell in utopia and want these dreams as a reality.  A dream is just a dream, you can’t make it reality and we should know the difference between the dream and the reality. Loving someone in dreams is not the reality and loving someone in life will never become a dream. If dreams continues then it creates internal dramas and unknown beliefs, and allows unknown thought processes to decide our feelings and actions.

If you think about it, not understanding why you do what you do, and feel what you feel is like going through your life with a stranger’s mind. How do you make wise decisions and choices if you don’t understand why you want and  what you want? It’s a difficult and chaotic way to live never knowing what this stranger is going to do next.

Believe in your friend and accept if the friend becomes as a stranger, and don’t try to dwell with the stranger as the time has changed the stranger’s priority from a friend to a stranger and these friends will never stick on to anyone’s life because they are tresspasser’s.

They were never said to be in our life and it is our mistake that we entertained them to enter into our life.

They know only to hit us in the right place to become more vulnerable and it is not their intention to keep us safely in their heart. They become close with you for their timely needs and at their convenience they will leave you or ditch you.

If ever I say goodbye to anyone, that doesn’t mean that I hate them or I love them no more or I don’t need anymore in my life. It means I want them to be much happier.

If ever I would cry, it’s not only because I lost them, but also because I lost my life’s precious moments without spending with them. I can’t feel that I have lost most precious moments just because of spending my time with them, because they have given me a special feeling of that relationship.

It is very hard to get people with the same attitude and we have to accept what we have got as pain ONLY.

Don’t allow any intruders to ruin your heart. Self-love is the best way to being loving and happy with who you are. Sometimes it is self-esteem and sometimes it will not allow your self-esteem to get hurt as well. Accepting ourselves will make us to feel great and when we get hurt, we can accept with what we have done.

“In Love pain is inevitable which needs to be considered as love only not as pain “

Love itself becomes pain if the other person doesn’t realize the love of the others. But when it is between two understanding hearts, then it is a pleasant pain, when it is love it is pleasant, when we have fear it is pain and we can’t avoid this pleasant pain in any kind of relationship”. What is more matters the value of the relationship, whether it is pleasant or pain? If the pain is more, we will come out of the relationship and if the pain is less, we will try to cope up with the pain as well.

In life when you have to make a choice between the one you love and the one who loves you. Choose the one who loves you. Because you can learn to love someone…. But cannot teach someone to love you!!”

“The experience of love is the same, what changes are our preferences.” 

“Love till it hurts, and when it hurts, love some more and when it hurt some more, love till it hurts no more”