I never expected that I will get a chance to work again in Abu Dhabi or I will have the heart to roam around Abu Dhabi. I have the best feelings, best friends, best memories but few of the worst happenings made me to feel that I stayed in this place for 3 years and I forgot everything about Abu Dhabi.
My life was beautiful in that building and the moment I left someone grabbed all my happiness along with her. There are some people enter you life for a reason, for a season and for lesson. I don’t what I learned from this person, but even now it is painful but lovely and beautiful.
I lost everything for couple of months and it was very difficult for me to get on to toes with that pain. I will not curse even my enemy to have that pain in his life. If god has ears, he will not let anyone to suffer like that.
In the last 2 years I have been to Abu Dhabi, maximum of 4 times and all the 4 times, I had to say that I was in a feeling that I am entering to my graveyard. Most of my friends used to say that you dont need to come to Abu Dhabi.
New Client, New place, New friends, new routines, new memories – I felt that I was totally out of my grief and pain. I was able to smile like before. I was able to walk without any tears. I was able to go for shopping. I avoided to meet the Abu Dhabi friends. Once in a while I used to call my best friend and we used to discuss on the current routines and family and end our call.
Life is beautiful and I always love it and live happily. I am of a person who can say that I am happy even in tears.
All my friends from Dubai were feeling so happy because you are going to the place which is heaven for you. It was heaven for me but they are not aware that I was feeling it as hell. I could not tell anyone that I am not happy to move to Abu Dhabi.
When I entered Abu Dhabi after a year time, I went to my previous client to meet the old friends. It was such a painful moment for me and the memories started rolling in my mind. I told my friend that I will meet him near that building and I was not having the heart to enter the building. Somehow somethings made me to enter the building.
One of my colleague saw me even before my friend meeting me and I was forced to tell him that I will meet him in the office. I could not recall that I was working in First floor. I have spent close to 2 years in that place and I am coming after 2 years.
When my friend told, we will meet him in first floor, I was not even feeling that we all were there in first floor. After going to the place, I recalled that I was working and was feeling like how many meetings, how many bottles of water in anger, how many phone calls, how much happiness, how much irritations, what all the pains I have gone through in that building. If the walls has eyes, that also will shed tears.
As long as I was in Dubai, I was not thinking about any incidents that affected me or touched my heart. But the moment I entered Abu Dhabi, my pain started and the way I entered the building, I was forced to see the entrance, where I saw her at last, who was not ready to see my face or to say a hi to me. (05th January’2013 I was brutally killed). I entered the building with a brave heart.
How can I forget that I was in First floor? How can I forget that all my users were in 6th floor. Only thing I remembered was that IT team was in fourth floor. Suddenly I remembered that project was my baby and I could not stop the feeling what I had for it.
Above all, when I went to that particular floor, yes I went there after 2 years and I was asked by DD to come there to meet all of them. I was not able to tell her that I don’t want to come there. I can’t see the one whom I wish to see. Even now I could not recall what was her extension number. I was able to smile with everyone and be cheerful as I was during my initial phase of the project. I didn’t throw my sight to the place where the person whom I miss used to sit. I was not having guts to see someone else sitting in that place and also I don’t want anyone else to feel my pain.
When I came out of that building I was the happiest person irrespective of missing someone whom I still love in the same manner. Life is all about giving love and I have given it to a wall, not to a human and it was my mistake.
One of the worst part of my Abu Dhabi second innings is, the moment I entered, I started feeling for her, but I really don’t feel that I miss her, because I know she lives in me. No can steal that from me or no one knows that my day and night starts and ends with the feelings for her.
What is more painful in Abu Dhabi…. will continue…….
Over Love – A new terminology for me – Learned this word from you.
There are many reasons that everyone makes us smile, or hurts our heart and makes us cry, but when you already cried, there is the only one who can make us forget everything and will make you smile. Anyone can make you smile or cry, its takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. I don’t cry or smile because of others and I try to give my smiles to them and take their burden’s to my shoulder.
You entered my life like this as a special person. Unknowingly I named you as MY SMILE, but your Love brought a smile from my heart and it’s not that I understood that smile is from heart, people around me noticed it and asked that there is a change in you, I think you are in love, who is that lucky guy? They didn’t know that it was by a cute little girl 🙂
When you said that you are deeply hurt because of my over love, I was unable to control my tears. I don’t know whether it was in happiness or in sadness also. Sooner I realized that you are unable to say the truth that you are not hurt by my love, and you are hurt because you are not able to give it back to me. I never asked you to give it back in the way I give, I know for sure that you can’t give it back to me in my way because, you don’t know what is love? I have this privilege to say that you don’t know what love is because you felt my love as OVER LOVE. I have shown you just 10% of my love to you my dear.
I can’t expect from a kid, who is trying to crawl to run with me in a marathon. It is not fair to do so. Do you think I expected you to return it? When I know that you can only crawl, how can I expect you to run? I want this crawling child to accept my love. You will ask me, how I have to accept your love? I don’t have answer for this because, I can give my love, but I don’t know how to ask you to accept it. You are the first one to get this kind of love from me. If you return the love, then there is no meaning in my love darling. I am here to share my love and when it is you, it is very special.
I don’t have any words to explain what the measure of love is or how to measure my love for you? To measure a person, you have to measure the heart of that person only and nobody has given any thumb rules to measure the love in a person’s heart.
May be you are right, I have not given your entry only to my heart, I have given it to my brain, body and soul. As I have given the entire love to you, I don’t know how to love you when I miss you? Whether to miss you or to love you or whether to wait for you to accept my love? Loving, missing, Waiting are part of Love and since I know only to love, I was in deep pain whether to miss you or to wait for you, but you gave me a chance to do all together…. Only you could get all three together my dear, because I don’t have anyone so intimate to my heart.
There is a child inside each one of us, who comes out in front of the person we are most comfortable with. you have shown that child in you to me. Nothing more is there and I love that kid not the matured lady.
A morning text does not simply mean, good morning. It comes with the silent love to say you that “I think of you when I wake up” you are the first one who cross my mind and in the same way my night message does not mean “good night”, I say you that I think of you before going to bed, I never know whether I will get up in the morning or not, but you are in my last thought before I go to my bed. When I send a hug, it is not just an emotion my dear, it means that am sending you all my love as a warm hug and wanted you to feel the love in it. When I send the kiss, it is to say that am overwhelmed and I want you to feel it. I can simply say that I have given only a drop in the ocean. I have love as ocean for you and what you have seen is only a drop of my love.
For some, love is for a day only and for some like me it is for lifetime. Love can’t be measured by any way. Intense love doesn’t measure, it just gives. Even to measure a friends love, you can measure it not by the number of promises they make it but the ones they keep up. The Measure of Love is when you love without measure. If you have any scale to measure let me know sweet heart.
I can love, accept, comprehend, understand, validate, support, appreciate, realize, people, I cannot make people to like, love, accept, comprehend, understand, validate, support, appreciate, realize or be nice to me. I can’t control them either. Only thing I can do is either I can’t say it doesn’t matter to me or I can let them go as they please. I can be your choice, reason or priority, but never as your option.
I don’t need to ask apologies to you for showing my real feelings. I don’t need to regret for being what I am and also showing my true Love, Care & Concern. If it matters to you, you will be with me. Same way no matter how it is for you, I can’t change my feelings and it has come only through you. If it was by me, I would have dreamed about you and you would have become my dream come true but you came in as a real feeling and want to go back as a dream 😦
It is true that I know you for very short time, but I have the impact is more in me than those I know for longer time. It can’t be only because of me my dear. I believe in myself more than anyone else. I know for sure that I can’t love someone like this in my life time and in the same way I can’t love you more than myself without any impact from you. You came into my life as wonderful feeling. I have my own power to overcome this feeling of you. I will not throw you out, but I will keep you secretly, my heart will talk to you virtually.
I can cut people and throw them out within seconds from my life. I have done it, hope if you recall my story you will come to know. It doesn’t mean that I hate them; it simply means I respect myself more. I still love them and it can’t be changed.
Money can’t buy TRUE LOVE, HEALTH, FRIENDSHIPS, CONTENTMENT, FULFILLMENT, HAPPINESS, TIME, PEACE OF MIND and I get all these when I have u by my side and if you have not got any of these from me, then I am really sorry and my sincere apologies and request you to walk out of my life. If I can’t show all these with my love to you, then even with the entire world’s money you can’t buy it. I will be happy if you could buy someone because I will feel that she took an effort to prove that someone can love her better than me. My Price tag is very high and you can’t get it with your money my dear. You will get it only with your sweet priceless word, hug and kiss and even with your silence you have got it.
Two Powerful S said to be SILENCE & SMILE, SMILE is the way to solve many problems & SILENCE is the way to avoid many problems, only u can create problems with your SILENCE and to take the SMILE out of me. Harsh Words Hurt Feelings But SILENCE Kills The Person.
Sometimes words don’t mean anything in a relationship, you can tell your beloved that “I LOVE YOU”, but your deeds can tell different things. You really love a person and you can prove it by your actions and not by the words. I know I have done the best of my ability and I don’t need to prove to anyone including you if I have to make you as my dream.
I don’t let people in to my inner circle. It’s hard for me, and after doing it, I can’t let them go and when they screw up, I feel like why did they do that to me? Did I do something wrong? Even with heavy pain, I can’t think that the other person is wrong, that is the love what I have for you. I did everything to make you happy and how could you screw me over and over?
It hurts the worst when the person that made you feel so special yesterday, makes you feel so unwanted today….Especially when I need you the most, you were not there by my side is what kills me more than anything. Just because you don’t seem to care for my love, doesn’t mean I should forget you, I hate you or to throw you out. Love is love only whether you accept it, or throw it.
In LOVE, I am the type of person who can be so hurt but still look at you & smile! I am the type of person who is willing to brighten your day even if I can’t brighten my OWN. I don’t follow Jesus and I will not show my other cheek when I get a slap from someone. I will throw them out of my life even if it is in love. I have done it with my parents, most of my friends. Sometimes, Love comes for a reason, and other times as a Lesson…
I can’t think that you came to me with a hello, lost at silence and everything in between, was nothing but a lie. I can’t hold you and I let you go, even though it broke me into pieces. Sometimes I wish I never became so close to you, that way it would not be as hard saying a goodbye to you…
When you say “I LOVE YOU“, it is a commitment with someone else’s heart. Try to honor it and don’t break it with your ill feelings. Everyone can Say “I LOVE YOU“ but not everyone really means it. May be I believed it when you said it, that’s why I lost it even before I feel that precious love from you.
LOVE brings pain even the pain look meaningful when it is because of you. PAIN makes people change, but it also makes them stronger… Don’t Ever Keep looking for Love, that’s what I say to myself… after feeling the beautiful pain, I would stop but I am at it again… because it is you….
Love the person who really suffers without you.. !!! Because you can’t get a person who really feel the pain of real love when they miss you and it can never be defined. I know that Love can’t be PERFECT, but it has to be TRUE, I think you felt my love is not TRUE.
When I say that I miss you, it’s not about how long it’s been since we last spoke or the amount of time since we were together last. When I say that I miss you, it’s because at that precise and very moment, I wish that you were here with me. Sometimes, I have said that I miss you when you are nearby me, I used to feel that I miss you when I am talking to you or even when we chat… Those were not to make you happy or to shower more love. It was my real feeling at that point of time.
Never take someone’s feeling for granted, you never know how much courage it took for them to express them. Because they know that with a stranger showing all their love will hurt them today or tomorrow….Whenever you hurt me, I take it as my sweet hurt, but when it is purposely, am unable to take the pain.
With blood we make the relations, but loyalty makes the outsider to your family. If you feel only blood can show love, then I am sorry for taking you into my family. I can feel that I am not loyal to you that’s why you don’t consider me into family. It’s my mistake only for not being loyal to you.
I waited long and I will wait for you for the rest of my life. Even if that means I have to give you up for the rest of my life, I will wait for you. Even if you don’t come forever, I will love you till my last breath. I love you that much and nothing will ever change me or my love for you”. I don’t want to hold something and hoping it will come back, knowing it won’t.
I didn’t stop loving you. I just decided to stop showing it because no matter how hard I tried you just wouldn’t understand it. I started talking to you in my heart, it looks crazy but sooner or later I have to come back to my den to live my life. Instead of tomorrow, I started it today. I will stop loving you on the day I close my eyes forever.
I cherished all the time I have spent with you and I have all of it as my sweet memories. I know that someday we might not be together and I might not get another chance to enjoy the fruit of love.
I can’t show something which you don’t deserve and god wanted me to show it to you. Nothing happens on our own, if so I can make you stick with me, everything is pre-decided by god and there is a reason for it.
Above all, I don’t need to chase love from anyone as I said I have ocean to give it to you, means I have got such a beautiful circle around me. Never Chase love, affection or kindness, if it is given voluntarily, it has no meaning and not worth having in my life.
My Smile – Hey not only I am missing your smile, but also my smile….