Tag Archive | marriage

Sweet 16 @ Forty

Today is one of my friends Birthday – Best Friend – Happy Birthday to you, Love you and miss you dear.

It is time for me to go back to my old memories to keep me fresh as I am as sweet 16 at Forty.

Funny thing to look back your life when you are in forty. I have to say thanks to god that I got the time to look back it. One important factor for me to be happy, smiling is I live my life and I am not living it as a forced life. For most of them, they take their life at forties as forced life, by thinking about their kids education, marriage, or about their house loans, and other commitments.

I am living a most satisfied life and I started the savings habit when I was in my school days, and it is still their. Only I know that I was having the helping nature from my school days, whatever I used to have with me, I will distribute it to others. A boy studied with me used to do paintings very nicely, but he was not able to get the acrylic colors and without a need, i bought it and shared it with him to develop his painting interest. I don’t know where he is and how he is also, but I still remember him by that short black boy and his name was karthikeyan.

I think and whatever is there in my memory, I was notorious only. At the age 7, I started riding the bi-cycle on road. I remember that most of the girls and boys in my area learned cycling through me and my effort & guidance. I don’t even remember that children of that age will not try to leave the hands and ride the cycle, but I tried to leave one hand and I was able to balance the cycle and next day I tried to do it leaving both the hands, without the knowledge that the cycle was too heavy for me to balance and it was not a small bicycle to do my gymnastics in it. When the cycle size increased, my height was not increased and I was forced to fall down and get hurt.

Foolish mind never got settled with the hurt in one hand, leg, once again tried and in the same place i fell down and got hurt in the same way in the other hand also. After Two days i realized that it was not only the balance issue, there was more sand in that particular place and because of which the cycle speed was getting reduced suddenly as if i applied a sudden brake. I do repeat the same mistakes even now and get hurt again and again, but with a smile saying that I know it is going to hurt.

I have to say both cycling and biking are my passion and I can’t give up both for any reasons. What all naughtiness I have done with my cycles…

Earlier I used to use the rental cycles and when I was in my class 5 I got the first cycle, Hercules Captain and a huge hero ladies cycle. Both sisters used to go together and come together.

Before class 5 we used to practice cycling on road with my mother’s used old bi-cycle.

During my 9th I got the Standard the craze of BSA SLR trendy cycle – the love for that cycle is flying in a high speed to reach home as first person is one of the wonderful feeling. Secondly, coming as a slow cyclist along with the friends who used to walk to their houses is one awesome experience, especially when my friends used to scold me, either go fast or walk with us and don’t do this slow cycling with us. I love it and the feeling of thinking about it makes me to bring a big smile, a teenager smile.

The happiest moments of my cycling life was carrying a huge water can to school almost 5 or 7 ltrs of water. We used to go to school as a group close to 7 or 8 kilometers one way and all of them will finish their 1 Ltr of water bottle half the way or close to school. I think Sharing has started when I was in my school days.

Apart from carrying the water bottles, the way I used to carry the cricket bat and badminton rackets in my cycle makes me to feel that I miss that golden age. I want to go back and start my life as a sports personality which I could not do it because of being born in a small middle class family.

Even now I feel that I want to go in a bi-cycle with a cricket bat on it or a badminton racket in it.

My Passions are not only with my cycles, it got extended to Mopeds, Bikes….

Biking Experiences will continue…..

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Dawn as Dusk

Dawn as Dusk

This is one of the subject which I never tried to touch because I am a rebellion (I often say to my friends that I will hit you, I will slap you, I will kill you and so on) but I am not a terrorist to hear/talk/see/feel the terrorism.

I landed Chennai on a Thursday 01st May’2014 which is unusual for me as I will land on Friday’s. As usual I asked my brother to come and pick me from the airport, another brother who was very busy with his activities told me that he will meet me in the airport to share his Hard disk drive to copy the movies. We met on the way just for one minute and we left the place.

I was not aware that a major terrific incident happened because of my overwhelmed joy of being with my family. Even while roaming within my area, when I saw more police force and tight security, I was making fun with my friend that a VIP is in the Area that’s why this security checks. I was not aware of the attack.

A story of a young girl which was supposed to be as like a sunrise for the family but even before raising, the downfall happened for the family.

When I heard that a girl of 23 years Swathi died in the bomb blast, I was really shocked but due to my trip and tight schedule I was not able to think about it more than feeling sorry for the incident.

When I was trying for a subject to share my feelings, my brother who met me on the way to the airport asked me to write about it as he went straight a way to the Central Railway Station for his interest in natural photography. He was able to see the bomb blast happened place within few hours and he has seen the dead-body of Swathi.

Today while I am talking about the terrorism, he asked me to talk about this subject and said I have seen her dead-body and I have the moral rights to ask you to write about her dreams.

I was in Mumbai when the serial blasts happened in the trains and I know how or in what the situation of the family members when the people travel in the similar kind of situations. How eagerly people will be waiting to know that their blood is safe, friend is in a safer place and so on.

I was not a victim of such terrific activities, but I was thinking that if I was in that situation what would have happened in my life? I have lived more years compared to Swathi, but still I wouldn’t prefer to die before achieving atleast 10% of my wishes in life. To be frank, I cannot dream for another girl, because my dreams are countless, but I can think what all dreams she would have got in her life.

She was in her 23 years when she attained the abode of god, but in a terrific way. Was it destined to her? No, it was the gift provided by the terrorist, for what? There is no reason in her death.

What all she missed in her life?

Her education, got her a job, when she succeeded in her studies, she would have dreamt to work in some big IT companies, her dreams got fulfilled by getting a job in TCS.

First month salary, I wanted to spend with family & friends, and I want to go back and meet them after saving hand full of money.

She was going back to her native after 4 months of time. She wanted to gift her parents with her first month earnings. What best a daughter could think of doing with her first salary? She bought the gifts but she got a gift of death even before giving the gifts or sharing the joy of her first salary with her family. What a tragedy? Can anyone think of this? Why ? what is the reason behind this tragedy? Has anyone taken security measures?

Whether she was in love or not, I don’t know anything about her. But as a female with sound knowledge, good-looking, soft personality, and friendly person, who is passionate towards whatever she does, would have got colorful dreams about her guy, marriage, life etc.,

Either she would have chosen a guy of her choice or her parent’s choice. Definitely she would have got a sweet dream to get married with her guy and to lead a peaceful life with one or two kids.

She would have dreamt about her promotion, appraisal, switching the job.

She would have got the wish to visit USA/UK or some foreign countries as part of her profession or as dream to visit foreign countries.

She would have got the ability to do good to the nation.

She would have got the interest to be part of the Social activities.

She would have got the dreams to become a politician to do well and to serve to the nation.

DO I BELIEVE IN DESTINY – yes I do believe in destiny

Swathi was believed to have tried to buy a ticket for a direct train from Bangalore to Guntur, but changed her plan because her death was behind her and she got into this train to get killed. She was accompanied by her friend in the train and they were chatting whole night.

It is highly impossible for that friend to see her friend as dead-body who was talking to her few hours back. How Swathi’s family could have accepted the news of her death as they were waiting for her with anxiety to receive their daughter who was away from home for the last 3-4 months.

Dreams are unlimited for everyone and I cannot say let all her dreams come true because she is no more, I can only pray that let her soul rest in peace and let not anyone else die in such kind of terrorist activities. But with her death, all her dreams vanished with her.

When I received the photos from my brother from the bomb blast area, I was not able to see it and till today I have not seen it.

If I die in a road accident, can my friends accept it, they will scold me even after my death for my rash driving or for careless driving as they care and feel that I am supposed to live for few more years. If at all I have to die in a train accident, I can’t help it; if at all I have to die of sudden heart attack my family can accept it.

What can we say for this small little girl with 1000 of dreams about her life, career…? How could one control or console her lost? Is it a loss only to her parents? Is it a loss only to her family? is it a loss only to the company where she was working? is it not a loss for the nation?

It is a humble request to the terrorist, Please stop terrorism, we are not asking you to let us live happily but we want to die peacefully with the age and disease not with the bullets and bombs. Those who are born in this world has to leave this world for sure but not by the terrorists.

Vacational Husbands

Is it the economy playing a role or the freedom for female playing the role? What the “F” is happening??

Is it only money matters or something else?

The main reason for me to write about this is because of my colleagues wife was forced to talk with me and the way she was sharing her feelings about her husband was really shocking. Is it because of in security or because of her love, care, affection or expectations of care and affection from her husband or whether she suspects him or she suspects all those who work with him? Leaving her in home country and working in a different country has given bad name for him or for those ladies who work with him? It was really a sarcastic situations, but god has given the gift to handle it politely and diligently.

The strong reason I felt that I have to write about this is because the trend is growing rapidly and I have not seen these kinds of trends with my parents era or before that also. I have seen couples living together even when their economic condition badly force them to live separately. They wouldn’t live apart for any reason. It is not the matter of sex but it is part of their love and care for each other.

Especially in Tamilnadu, I have seen that men and women spending 3 to 4 hours in a day by train and going back to their home to live with their family. It will be either for the sake of the kids or for any reason, but they were not staying as single, leaving their responsibilities as husband/son/father/brother at home.

I know people who travel for their jobs during the week and return home on the weekends but living apart.

I am not against living single life for the sake of economic upliftment for the sake of family. But if it is by a brother/son for the sake of family to get his sisters married, or for the happiness of their parents, I certainly agree with them.

The couples whom I have come across in the recent times doesn’t have any such commitments and for the sake of building a Villa or to have a luxury flat for the wife, leaving the wife and living single life is not advisable for any man.

Whether buying a flat for a wife or living with her in a flat what makes a man happy matters most? Especially leaving a newly wedded wife and leaving the country or living for the sake of money – then there is no need for these two people to get united in the name of marriage.

If these guys leave the wives when the wife needs them the most and what if something goes wrong in her life? Who is responsible for the needs of the female? The guy can say that I have gone to make money for you, but what is the use of that money when she is no longer interested to live with you because you don’t have time for her personal and physical needs.

Being single is a great achievement for both of them on these conditions and it is really tough for both of them to live a single life after getting married. They need each other in their day-today routines. There will be many people at home to take care of the wife and the guy will be surrounded by many friends, but all these are not like the one who has to do everything for her/him.

She can take the help of her brother/sister for her basic needs, she can take help of the spouse brother/sisters for family needs, but what will she do for her physical needs which a spouse is supposed to do for her? She can ask her sister to accompany her to select a saree for her, but the beauty of wearing that saree has to be appreciated by the spouse not by the spouse’s brother. What is the fun of getting a new saree or anything with the money what the spouse sends from a far of country?

What is the best happiness for a female is being with the husband and the minutes what they spend together, whether it is to buy a Dior/CK perfume or a Gold Ornament or the potato or  a piece of meat for the next day curry with her husband makes the proudest moment for her.

The best moment for a husband is to gift something to his wife either as a surprise or as pre-planned but to see her happiness eyes shedding a tear with smiles. A sweet hug when he handover the gift to her. These husbands will say that they will hug their wives in Skype or will you arrange someone else for it?

Forget about gifts, to share a happy news that he/she got promotion or increment or an appreciation who will be the first one to come in to our mind, only spouse. What is the use of getting an increment or appreciation when you can’t share it at that moment with your spouse. You can wait for few hours if the person is in the same place to share it with him/her. But waiting to reach him through mobile as he will be busy in his office or she will be in a meeting, does it makes worth of your marriage?

She can do shopping with 100 people but the happiness lies when she sees the smile from her man and if a woman is ready to miss it for the sake of money, then it is really a worst gift what she can offer to her husband.

What if the guy starts living with other female or marries another female with whom he gets attracted with or for his physical needs?

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It’s focused attention.”

The reason for the above question is not based on assumptions; it is based on experiences I am facing with this dirty world. Now a days guys are very open and freaky to question to a woman who is married/divorced or single to ask her can you live with me in a relationship ( this means like a wife but I can’t marry you).

Aren’t we giving the chance for the spouse to make mistakes by allowing them to live alone for the sake of economic development or for his career/professional growth?

I am not saying all guys are wrong, out of 90% of friends 1% would have tried the above question with me and I have all the rights to say this to the fellow females not to allow their husbands to stay away from them for any reason. It is their choice and even the female can go and live with anyone.

For economic conditions sake, they will do anything and they don’t want to keep the promise what the marriage says to them. Neither they are sharing their life’s joy and sorrow with each other. They want to share their happiness in terms of money not in terms of caring for each other with lovable, affectionate and caring ways.

Continues…