Tag Archive | God

God No God

god-no-god

உன் பாவங்களை என் சிலுவையில்

சுமக்கிறேன் என்று சொல்ல நான் யேசுவும் இல்லை

உன் பாவங்களில் இருந்து உன்னைக்

காத்திடுவேன் என்று சொல்ல நான் கண்ணனும் இல்லை

உன்னைப் போல் பல பாவங்களையும் செய்யும்

சராசரி மனிதனைக் கடவுளாக்கிடும்  மானிடனே,

இறைவன் என்பவன்

ஒருவனே

என்பதனை என்று நீ அறிவாயோ??

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Ramadan Fasting by Non Muslim

Ramadan Fasting by Non-Muslim

The reason for me to quote some of the Prophet’s sayings is because of my few friends. They told me, you are not supposed to fast during Ramadan as like a Muslim, and it is not going to be rewarded or accepted by God. I am happy if god accepts my fasting, and I am more happy god rejects my fasting also. I will keep my faith and trust in god and I will continue my fast during Ramadan, if I am in UAE. I don’t fast for the rewards, I fast because of my beliefs. I fast because of my trust in god, I fast because it is a commitment between me and god.

I know those who tried to stop me really care about me and they don’t want me to do some sin in the name of fasting. Above than the Sin, they also care about my health conditions. I can quit fasting for their love, care and concern for me, if he would have said that my dear, stop your fasting and am asking this in the name of my love, care and affection. But he said, that it is not accepted by god which I can’t accept it. If it would not have been accepted by god, god would have asked me not to fast or by any chance it would have got stopped. As I was trying to keep the remaining days of fast of last year, I was not able to do it because of cold cough and phlegm. If it gets stopped on its own, I will not feel bad also. I will take it as God’s plan for me.

I have not taken something very hard to follow in life or a very strict thing that requires more concentration, patience or anything in life. You just need to have love, care, affection, peace, harmony, friendliness, trust, faith & belief in what you read and what you do. I love to follow what I read and I prefer to do to the perfection.

I was very curious to reply to my friend/brother and asked them all the required questions, but I was not able to keep cool, because for me fasting is very religious, sacred and sensitive.

I do believe in the pillars of Islam, I know for sure that I can’t make all the five pillars of Islam. Especially the last one Hajj, all others are possible as a human and Hajj is meant for a Muslim and I can’t go for it. Five Pillars of Islam are (Shahadah – Faith in One God(Allah), Salah – Prayers (5 times), Zakat (Charity), Sawm (Fasting during Ramadan) and Hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah).

Faith Simple, I do believe in one god, I know the world has got only one supreme power and we call it as GOD. As a Hindu, I name the god in different names, forms etc., to bring in my concentration towards that supreme power. I believe in Prophet as a messenger also.

Prayers – I don’t do 5 times prayers like a Muslim, but more than a Muslim, I wait for the Azaan and I do think about god and it is not only 5 times, I think about god more than 5 times. I pray more than 5 times not in the way Islam says. I do a bow to god and thank him for giving the day and being with me all the time.

Zakah – Charity, as per Hinduism what you give using right hand should not be known to left hand. So what I do should not be known to anyone. Charity begins at home and I wish my first, second and third circle of relatives to be happy.

Fasting – I have started it for some specific purpose, but the fasting is towards god and with a special prayer in it. I don’t fast for my needs and when I do it, I don’t wait for others to say break the fast, I will break it even to make a party more delightful or to make someone happy with a dinner party. I love to give up my personal requests/plea/prayer for others smile.

Examples of the Prophet’s Sayings

‘God does not judge according to your bodies and appearances but He scans your hearts and looks into your deeds’.

I don’t know how many of you believe in this, but I truly believe and I know that my fasting will have a meaning, if not also, I will not say that there is no god, may be my prayers are not valid for the one whom I do the fasting. I will not consider that my fasting has gone in vain. I will consider god has given me the strength to pray for the one who has done the worst to me in my life.

I will thank god for giving me the clarity to love someone, pray for someone, fast for someone and to wait patiently for the result and I know that he will give me the heart to accept whatever is his plan in her life. I strongly believe that everything has a reason in our life and my fasting also has a reason in my life. He would not have made me to keep the fasting, if it doesn’t have any meaning. I would have witnessed the Ramadan Fasting as like earlier years (2010 & 2011).

Two years back, I told one of my brothers who invited me for Iftar to break his fasting. I told him, whole day you are fasting and I can’t come to Iftar to break your fast with you because whole day I am eating and I don’t fast. I told him don’t take it negatively, I will keep the fasting like a Muslim one day, then I will break it with you. It is because for the faith what he has in Islam and I love to appreciate his faith and his belief. I didn’t get a chance to break my fast with him when I was fasting last year.

‘God has no mercy on one who has no mercy for others’.

I really wonder, whether these words are being considered as the words of God through his messenger Muhammad. Why I have this doubt? I have seen many Muslims in the recent time who claims that they follow their religion from the bottom of the heart, who do believe in one god, who do 5 times prayers and who will be doing zakat also and who has followed the Ramadan fasting also as their tenet of religion.

Simple question to you my dear….  Are you after the above words? Do you know what MERCY is? If so I don’t need to say this now. People around me has got lot of mercy in them, but they feel pity on me and they try to show their love by saying not to fast for the one who has done so much.

‘None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself’.

Do you have this instinct? I don’t think so, why god always tries to give this problem to me is what the question will come to all of us, but we will never think that when god has given something beautiful or amazing in life to be given to others.

‘He who eats his fill while his neighbor goes without food is not a believer’.

If so there will not be any beggar or poor person in our surroundings. I have been asked my neighbor Farooq everyday whether I had my breakfast/lunch/dinner whatever time he used to have food at home or when we meet at home, without asking this question, he will not eat. But is it with everyone? I know they don’t even ask their colleagues nearby and eat without even knowing whether that fellow colleague had food or not. It is common with every Muslims I have seen. Where is the humanity?

Quran teaches Humanity, core disciplines of Life and I have not seen even the basic disciplines in many Muslims. You people without humanity, started accusing the one who is fasting for the sake of someone else, considering this is as a holy month.

‘Powerful is not he who knocks the other down, indeed powerful is he who controls himself in a fit of anger’.

Where is it?  As you think, let me assume that I knocked you down, where is the power in you to control yourself? You have shown your anger in a beautiful way, not even anyone could dream to do it. let me again assume that it has not done any harm to me, it has done harm to your reputation, it has done harm to your character, it has done harm to me, because it has affected you in your ways.

‘A man walking along a path felt very thirsty. Reaching a well he descended into it, drank his fill and came up. Then he saw a dog with its tongue hanging out, trying to lick up mud to quench its thirst. The man saw that the dog was feeling the same thirst as he had felt so he went down into the well again and filled his shoe with water and gave the dog a drink. God forgave his sins for this action’. The Prophet was asked: ‘Messenger of God, are we rewarded for kindness towards animals?’ He said, ‘There is a reward for kindness to every living thing’.

Do you know the meaning of Kindness? If you can’t be kind to the one who loves you the most, how can you be kind to those who are around you as family members, part of your life, colleagues, friends, and enemies?

How will you show your kindness to those who are around you? Is this the way you follow your religion?

To be honest, when I read the Quran, when I take the holy book in my hand, I feel so scared because I know for sure I am going to shed tears because of you, I will feel every time, how can she be like this? How can she do this? How can he do this? How can he be like this? Are they reading it by knowing the meaning of it? Is it your mistake or the mistake of your parents who has not taught the inner meaning of it?

God, this is a plea to you, keep me cool, don’t harass me through these fellow people, I am already undergoing hell lot of pain and these people without knowing the meaning of what you have said, they are trying to kill the good deed of someone. Bless them and make them to understand what is required in this world. Humanity or ________????

I can simply say that a clean heart is the Masjid of God or the temple or the Church and I don’t worry about all your negative comments. Above all, I am not keeping my fasting for some worldly treasures. I am not going to gain or lose anything because of this fasting. I might lose my health for a while but not forever. 

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Gandhi

I don’t want to close in a negative node when it is faith and belief. I take my faith and belief as Ocean and one or two dirty people might come and try to kindle it and make it dirty, but once the ocean gets settled, it will be the purest in form. My faith and belief in God is also the same. God, who can test me other than you, only you can do that and you know my strength and you know my weakness, if you send someone to play with my weakness, then it is not my fault and you are trying to test me. You are trying to make my weakness as a strength.

Above all Religion is my own way of having the communication with God, as I have with you.

For the sake of Humanity, love, peace, care, affection or even as an elderly person, if you say, please give up your fasting, I am ready to do it my friend…. As you used to order me, say it in the name of Love, not in the name of Religion my dear brother.

God, I will hold you and only you and if I have to fail in my attempts, let it be in the name of God and not by any human. If you feel that it is a sin, please do give me the punishment for the sin and if you feel that praying for someone is a good deed, please give all the benefit to the one for whom I pray and started this fasting.  Ameen

16 years of Love

Art of writing is a blessing and this comes with everyone easily over a period of time. Practice makes man perfect.

This is really an old chapter of my life and I don’t write anything as imaginary things in my life. I live truly and I say and do everything from heart. This content is also about someone whom I love and I will love till my end of my life.

I started writing this content on 5th May’2012, but somehow I could not finish it and share my love for her. I am sorry for the delay but I guess this is the right time for me to post.

How is it possible for us to have the same level of love from the year one till now?

I love words. I love to speak and coin them and even now, I must admit, I have fallen into the joy of writing. I don’t know when I started scribbling, and when my friend told me that I started scribble long time back and only she can comment on it because I would have spent ages to write my love for her. She knows it but still I tried to convey it through words, I failed in that. I prepared a power point presentation with 1500 slides and shared it with her.

In two of the slides, I said that don’t ever come after my death nearer to me, because seeing your tears, I will get up to wipe it. That is the level of my love.

In another slide, I will pray to god that I have to die after her because I don’t want her to see the death of her dearth child. That is because I value her love for me.

I know for sure that she has not read even 500 slides, she would have felt so bad for me because I wasted so much time. She said hey stupid, do you need to waste so much time to say your love to me? I know it with your one smile and in one drop of your tear my dear kutty naai( Puppy).

During the course of time she said, I really admire you for your sincerity and dedication and concentration and the way I used to be with my computers, she knows that I can only do something with computers and any other things will not interests me like a computer.

Of course she will not allow me to shed the second drop of tear and she will wipe the first drop of my tears and with a hug she will say, why you have to shed your tears, am here to handle you and you are my first love.

The thorns on a rose are not there to hurt us, it is there to guide and protect us.

She was the one who made this (me) thorn to a rose and for some time she was like a thorn towards me and I failed to understand that those thorns feelings are to protect me. For those who feel now me as pleasant personality is all because of this wonderful friend of mine. Now I can’t show my thorny face to those whom I love or those who are  close to my heart. I learned to show the bright smile from her.

Whatever people feel as my great personality in the last 6-7 years, I have to say that it is all because of her. I can’t say that we never had any arguments, every day we used to have arguments, because we both are two extreme kinds of people.

Even we had a big fight and we were not communicating with each other for more than a year.  But we were living with the same feeling, thinking about each other’s betterment of life. The main reason for me to share this is, we know that we love each other to the core and we know that the gap is only a temporary gap.

When she was trying to avoid me for some personal reason, I was in angry that she was not ready to convince me, because she is the one who can make me to convince me in all the phases of my life. My anger was not on her but why she was not trying to convince me. After sometime I realized that it was not her mistake, but I was not in a right mind of state to accept anything from her.

I hope when she would have got a call from a training institute for conducting some training. I told the trainer not to use my name, but I hope she would have felt that it was through me. That moment she would have realized that I care for her.

During that 1 year time, she didn’t communicated with me directly, but she was sending mails, sent some SMS’s as wishes etc from a new number. When I asked her who is this, simply a word your sweet heart and that’s it, all my anger will vanish at that moment and I will start feeling my love for her.

I love to hang around with my friends and for her no one is required. To great knowledge I can count her friends, and to my great knowledge I can’t count my friends. Even a stranger will become a friend to me in few minutes and for her it will take ages for a stranger to become as a friend. When I used to see her in the beginning, I used to feel that she is a rude female and she will not smile at all. Even if we smile at her, she will take time to smile, because she can’t act and she has to smile from heart.

I will trust blindly everyone and she will rate the person and start trusting them slowly. In spite of huge differences between us, we have a very nice understanding. We give respect to each other very much. At times I was so arrogant and I will behave childish. I will get wild and she was adoring, admiring and adjusting me to the core. I know how much she was tolerating me.

Thanks for your patience and tolerating me. I have to say that she is of a person who will feel more for me than me if I shed a drop of tear. She is not only a friend for me a god mother as my family used to say it to me.

I know for sure that I have tender qualities and I tried to show myself as a rigid character and not as a soft personality to anyone. In a way I want to become the old wild animal to kill two animals, but god has made me to be soft through you and I can’t go back to start a new beginning with my wildness.

I remember 6 months ago, you told me that there can’t be second person like you in my life. I have to agree to you that yes because we are very loving and we know to give respect to each other’s feelings and we have a beautiful relationship.  Above all it is destiny and god has decided that we two have to share this relationship till end of our life.

I learned that Compassion and Tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength only from her. I love you for teaching me the great values of life and I thank you for making me so soft in my life. whatever I show to the one whom I love is because I learned it from her.

You entered my life as a mentor, stranger, friend, and became everything to me. You are the one who made a rock as a diamond. Whatever I am today, it has your efforts in all the ways. It is really a god’s gift for me that I will always be surrounded by good people, if some bad people come they will either turn good or they will leave me. I am not worried about those who leave me and I am more concerned about those who live with me

I owe a lot to you for the way you changed my life, but I don’t know how to return it to you. As you used to say, I need you till end of our life. 

Truth is bound to win over falsehood.

Hey Dear All,

I am not blogging this as a part of learning some religion or to follow some religion. I am sharing this because if you want to follow your own religion follow it from the heart. If something mentioned here is wrong, please take it as an opportunity to correct my wisdom on the given contents from any religions.

Don’t ever pretend or take the do-able content from your religion and don’t do or show off something  to give an impression to others that you are clear and clean by heart as the other feels that you are following your religion from heart.

Friendship is something which is very green and pleasant to everyone. Here and there some will come and do little harm, insult, but the best of all relationship is friendship, because it doesn’t have blood relationship. It is very usual for people to have friendships with others whom they interact with . Friendships can be formed through growing up in the same neighborhood, meeting at school, college, university, social gatherings , working environment, gym, pub, restaurant and via a number of other activities.

Friendship is something common among people, however there are different conceptions of it. Some common conceptions include the following: friends will always stick by your side, you can always rely on a friend, you can speak freely to your friend and tell them your problems, friends like you for who you are, etc. When people have personal problems such as disputes with their family members or if they need advice they usually turn to their friends.

Do you know why god has not gifted the art of reading others mind, because he wants us to have the privilege of trusting, understanding and have faith in others.

When you start telling lies to your friend, do you know how it hurts the other person? Even before telling lies, I told you I will be saying a part of my life story to you as a lie. I will not be true in one scenario. I didn’t tell any lies to you. That is called as Sincerity. I tried to give trust by all means but you failed to keep up the trust in any means.

When you hurt someone, I believe you should face her in a remorseful way to show that you never meant to hurt her. If I was in her shoes I would want to know everything that goes around me, and if I discover that my friend exposed something and I found that out from someone else I would really get aggravated and I would feel that my friend isn’t worth trusting. “ONCE A LIAR IS ALWAYS A LIAR”

Don’t lie to your friend: 
One thing it is HARAM, second she is trusting you so don’t betray that trust if you let her know now you have a better chance of being trusted again than you would if you keep lying.

FOLLOW WHAT EVER YOUR HEART TELLS YOU, DON’T DO SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT END UP IN REGRETTING.

I do regret because of trusting you in-spite of knowing that you are lying to me. Over again and again I trusted you. All my pain is because of the trust what I had in you and I have to suffer for trusting you to this level. Yes I deserve punishment from god. You made me not to trust anyone in my life.

Truth is bound to win over falsehood.

In Today’s fast world most common problem in human is cheating others easily or to make fun of someone true feelings. If you are not serious for anything then don’t such things. Cheating/Betrayal is very painful for everyone. After hell of pain and agony, I am saying the below to the fellow people.

I am neither a follower of Islam nor Christianity and I am true to my religion. Even we don’t need to follow any religion, but we should not do harm to anyone by any means. Harm – unknowingly we do hurt others, but knowingly hurting others and giving them pain is sin in all the religions. There is no compulsion in any religion. Right has become distinct from wrong. So whoever rejects evil and puts faith in God has grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks.

I believe that God is hearing, knowing, and loving us. We don’t need to depend on others, but very few will make us to depend on them in the name of love for fun and they will ruin others life. This is to make someone understand that what their religion says about lying.

During a course of chat conversation, she said, I didn’t lie anything to you to harm you. I agree with her, may be her assumption is right, but there is a trust created in me. It is getting killed by your false statement which you were not aware of it or what?

After reading the below also, if you feel that you are not a liar, I am ready to change my assumption of saying tahat you are liar/cheater for your sake, I will say to the world she is not a liar, she talks only truth, when I will say that, I will not be true to myself. But I am ready to accept that you are not a liar or a cheater.

Lying

cheat-us-islamLying is among the sins of the heart. It is to utter false information while knowing that what one is saying is not the truth. It is sinful (haram) whether done seriously or jokingly.

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, said:

La yasluhul-kadhibu fi jiddiw wala fi hazl.  Which means: “Lying is not good, whether in seriousness or joking.” (Related by al-Bayhaqiyy.)

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, also said:   Iyyaka wal-kadhib, fa’innal-kadhiba yahdi ilal-fujur. Wa innal-fujura yahdi ilan-nar. Wala yazalul-^abdu yakdhibu wa yataharral-khadhiba hatta yuktaba ^indallahi kadhdhaba.

Which means: “Do not ever lie, because lying leads to very hateful sins, and those in turn lead to Hellfire. One keeps on lying and seeks to do that until one is recorded as a liar in some books of Allah.” (Narrated by Ibn Majah.)

After reading the above tell me, to whom you were sincere?? I don’t need to explain on this because when we tell lies, it means that you are killing the trust what the other person has on you. It need not harm them, but it is not going to help them or make them happy. When someone tells you, you look beautiful even though it is not from heart, that is not a lie, it makes someone happier for that moment. Telling someone a lie which is not going to harm them, or not going to have an impact on them, but still it is a kind of betrayal because the other person has so much trust on you that you will not tell any lies to her.

Trust, faith are something’s which you can’t get from someone without love. When someone trust you, you have to try to keep up the trust and not to misuse the trust. I showed my trust and faith because of the love what I had for you. Even though you have lived all your life only with lies, I have given more trust and trust and poured the faith, but failed to get even one percent of truth from you.

There are many things that are among the sins of the tongue and fall under the class of lying. They include: swearing by Allah to a lie, false testimony, and falsely attributing something to Allah and His Prophet.

When you promised something to me in the name of god, I was not able to feel it as a truth, because you are born to tell only lies. By swearing-in the name of god, you made me to feel that it need not a truth and made me to feel that even in the name of god she will tell lies. That is the trust what you have given to me. I swear, I got an impression, she will do any harm in the name of god also and she will say it is not harm.

Swearing by Allah to a Lie:

It is one of the major sins. It is for one to swear by Allah to something that is opposite to the truth. An example is if one says, “By Allah, I did such and such” while knowing that one did not do that action. Similarly, if one says, “By Allah I did not do such and such” when one has done it. This is to be considered using God’s name in vain, which indicates falling short of glorifying Allah properly.

I do believe that you will not lie in the name of god but when you say 10000 lies, even a truth in the name of god becomes a false statement.

False testimony: This is one of the enormous sins. An example is for one to testify in front of a judge that someone stole something while one knows that it did not happen. “False testimony is like claiming that Allah has partners.” (Related by al-Bayhaqiyy.)

Because of all your lies, now I feel even a true testimony from you whether it will be a truth or false statement? How do you expect me to trust you?

Severing the Obligatory Ties of Kinship

Severing the ties of kinship is among the sins of the body, and it is a major sin. This is done by breaking the hearts of the relatives by refusing to be good-hearted when they financially need money, or by leaving out visiting them without an excuse. If one usually helps one’s relatives, then one lost the money, or one found a more urgent need for it, then one would not be sinful for not offering it to one’s relatives. Avoiding people because they did something wrong to you or they tried to correct your mistakes or they treated you badly.

I don’t need to say about this, when one of your colleague was giving a party and the way you avoided it shows what kind of Muslim you are? When you can do this kind of arrogant attitude with a fellow Muslim lady, I can expect that you will do any kind of harm to me as I am from a different religion. When I heard it, I felt so bad because the way I had the trust in you, I thought you will not do these kind of silly things. How could you do this? whatever you discussed with me were words from your mouth not from heart.

Promotions are decided by the people who are ahead of us and if we don’t get it, it doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve it, god wanted someone else to get benefit out of it. You were saying that what is there I will get it when it is destined to me.. Now even if you get it doesn’t going to make anyone happy because the way you reacted to others happiness, will impact yours as well. I know you will not mind it because only humans will have

“Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allaah is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is Most-Forbearing.” [Quran 2:263]

I know how much I have forgiven you and tried to hold you not with hands, but with love and care, but you spoiled not only my trust but also killed my each and every cell with your ill attitude and behavior. I really don’t know how your parents will take when they hear about you from others, but I was brutally killed and I don’t feel like I have to live or to love anyone. You made me a dead body. I have life, but living like a dead body in grief because of the love for you.

Truth is bound to win over falsehood – God is with me, that’s why he made me to realize all your colors and made me to feel that this is a punishment for loving, trusting, caring, and showing the real affection to a person who don’t deserve it.

 Imām `Alī ibn Husayn (a.s.),

used to say to his son:“Keep away from little and big lies whether you are serious or kidding! Whoever tells lies in childhood, will do so in adulthood.”  Do you not know that the Messenger of Allāh (s.w.t) has said:
‘A servant may keep on speaking truthfully until Allāh (s.w.t) records him as a very truthful one, and a servant may keep on telling lies until Allāh (s.w.t) records him as a very lying one.’

[Reference: Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 69, p. 234]

To Speak the TRUTH, you don’t need to follow any RELIGION, just you need to follow your HEART. I quoted the above from your religion because you wrapped yourself saying that you are following your RELIGION and as per your Religion – how you need to be and what you are? You are not true even to god 😦 . 

Whatever I have given here are just to say that this is what you have to do, there is lot many more to come in your life and don’t give them the same pain. I am saying all these as  vent out all my pain, caused by you, without doing any harm to you. Even this is to guide you, to make you right in your way. If god can help you to correct your way, I will be thankful to him. I know I can’t do it, but god has to talk to you in a way so as you can change yourself. Of course he will touch you, if you don’t listen to him, he will shake you, if you don’t listen, then he will take the root so as you will know what you are doing is right or wrong.

Even after reading all this family values, if you say that you have a family value, oh god, what kind of value it is , please make me to understand it…..

Grief – Pain of Death

What is Grief?

Grief is the term used to describe emotional responses to major losses. Bereavement, grief, and mourning are all terms used to describe the same thing: the intense pain that follows the loss of a loved one.

I remember this word was told by my best friend recently and she said to me, you are not shedding your tears for the one who cheated you, but you are grieving for your lost child. Yes she was correct. I would have taken the grief also happily, if the kid would have died but it killed everyone and it is enjoying its life.

Most shameful thing is that one for whom I am killing  me(my happiness, peace, health, wealth, good habits) also asked me a question, if I die what will you do? I told her, I am not a Muslim to pack my grief in 3 days and we will have grief for one year and at least I will have deep pain for a year. but I didn’t know that before her death itself she will give that pain to me.

I know I was attending my own funeral by killing my happiness

This time I am not going to write about someone who is living, and this is about someone who will live in the hearts of many/ those who know him.

Senthil MariappanA Supply chain management consultant whom I know through my ERP network and I have not seen him during his life time, who has considered me as his sister and we used to chat a lot before and after his marriage. Due to work pressure and work tension and other unwanted association, I stopped most of my communications with many good hearts and Senthil was one among them.

Today I regret for not chatting with him during the last 1 year time. Most of the time, I used to communicate with almost those who are known to me and I don’t keep too much gap in my communication.

Due to the restrictions of the Gmail access and other social networking access in most of the companies, I have not seen him in online for long time and I am not very good in calling and speaking to my friends. I prefer to have the networking only through Gtalk or through Facebook. I do call those who used to pick their phone to reach me. Somehow we didn’t develop this kind of communication within us. I regret for not doing this my friend.

I have constant communications with his friends and I have asked about this guy with another friend also.

Suddenly a new ID, asked for permission to add me, I thought it is from a person who made me stupid by all means as I am expecting something from him. So added and asked a rough question who is this?  He asked “Do you know Senthil, I told him I know many Senthil as my brother’s name is Senthil, a friend from Abu Dhabi is Senthil, and couple of more people as Senthil from ERP network.

Even before answering my question he said, he passed away in Andaman. I was shocked and he pasted the local newspaper content.News paper confirmed it happened on 17th March. Tears were flowing like anything because of thinking about his wife who was married two years back. There are some ugly characters living in this world, but god likes only good hearts. He gives more pain to those who are good and takes good people to his kingdom who are very soft and good.

I was shattered; I was unable to believe that he is no more. I was not able to believe it, but the newspaper message said that it is him and it has shown the license copy of my friend. He died because of a heart attack and at the age of 31. Oh god, you are giving stone heart to some people and so soft heart to good people? what is this my lord? why are you playing like this?

There are people who are asking you for death, there are people who are sinners, who are cheaters, who are betrayers, who live and suck others blood like an animal, and this guy is so soft, a good heart person and why you wanted his life to end so soon?

Anyway I was grieving for something and god is showing that these kind of things are happening in the world, don’t worry, good deeds and bad deeds doesn’t come with others deeds. It is based on their own deeds only.

Grieving Losses – Grieving the loss of someone whom we love will be there in our heart for a long very long period and it is very painful process. But there is still hope. That we will cope up and come back to normal.

Grieving from a loss and healing from that loss require one to examine and re-examine the place of a loved one or a relationship. This process, the grief stages, of getting used to life without someone close to you can take over a year to work through. Experts have compared the death of a child, for example, to what it feels like to lose a limb. It gets easier to cope as time goes on, but it still takes a long time to work through the stages of grieving.

It’s easy to formulate a theory or a process for your grief to work through; however, actually working through those stages of grieving proves much more difficult. We may have a lot of method to grief, and each method looks different for each person.

After all, some steps in the healing process are easier than others—some days are easier than others. Your relationship with your loved one was unique (as like her name); expect you’re grieving to be unique. The way of hurt is also unique, very deep and it is very difficult to get healed, but god has shown the ways.

My grief was not in coping with death which allows you to meet really supportive people, but the death of someone inside the heart. But this death of my friend really made me to feel that why should I grieve because god has not taken that life, and even if it happens I will not feel heartache this much because I know that she is an unworthy person.

This death of my friend has given me a lesson that I have to be supportive to those who lost him as a mentor, the person who shared this news with me has got my mail id from my friend(Senthil) saying that she is my sister, send your CV to her, she will help you.

Somehow this new friend has not shared his CV with me, but when I got the friend request from him, I was really in a different mood and I was feeling that someone is going to get killed by me.

Bereavement requires a grief support group. Somehow I have an aversion of death and I used to get ready for the people around me about their death well in advance so as I can take it up when I face the situation.

As you work through the death of a loved one, you need a place where you can vent, where you can be honest about grief and your emotions, and where you can move through the grief stages without fear or regret.

If we get ready to get the support for the grief, it can provide a really support of friends who identify with you at a very deep level. They can move beyond showing you sympathy to really empathizing with you. I can say that I got lot of support to come out of the grief, unfortunately I was not able to come out of the grief and the situation how I was has become grief to many people around me. With the existing pain I was in deep pain because all the lovable people around me are also suffering because of me.

Will I ever see my loved one again?” The bonds forged by shared experiences are the strongest bonds. And, as you struggle to find meaning in death and dying, realize you’re not alone.

Sometimes, the sadness may be an opportunity for us to return to faith in God or involvement in our religious system. The belief in an afterlife can really ease our minds when it is for others but when it comes to loss of family members or the death of a child it is really a difficult task to handle.

I was killing myself for the death of my unborn child is really painful because, it was not born to me, but it was in front of me, it was not my adopted child, it was not of my blood  and I just felt the feeling of a child through her and how could I come out of this heavenly feeling?

She is alive and I have to consider her as dead. How to grief for the one who is alive and need to feel that she is dead? How to control myself with this feeling? What kind of death you have shown to my kid god? Why did you give that feeling through her? If I don’t grief for this then for what I could grief and I will not be called as a human because I don’t show my grief out for any other things other than the people hurting me in this way.  

Normally When I grieve for someone deeply, I will think 100 times and Iw ill come out faster. This time my grief is not only because of the death of my child, but also because of self-pity and I was not able to forgive myself for allowing someone to play with my feelings and sentiments

What is the purpose of grief in our life? The other name of mine is Hope and Encouragement. The way I give my hope and encouragements are from me, and it is not from their strength, it is from my strength, I am giving them the life of hope.

My word of hope creates encouragement in them and they find the hope in front of their eyes through me. To give others hope, I must have the hope of living and leading the life happily. I can’t tell someone smile from heart, when I don’t smile. When I say something to others I have to follow and I don’t like to tell someone which I don’t follow. I am a follower and not a preacher.

Finding God and Your Grieving – Anything under God’s Control is never out of control, God will make a way even though there seems to be no way!

May of my friends suggested me to enter into spirituality, but for me it is a big problem that I can even think about god, when I am not happy. That means I pray to god only when I am happy and I can’t go to him to cure my pain or sorrow. It is not the time to embrace my god, because he knows that I am weak if he gives me trouble. He knows my strength, he knows my weakness, and if he is giving me some pain means, he knows that I need the strength to overcome this and he knows when to give that strength also to me.

I beg for others to god not for my weakness because that weakness was given by god, why should I go and beg him saying that give me strength. I will say, I know you are the creator, you are the screen play writer, you wanted me to go through this pain, I don’t know how long I have to go through this, but give me the serenity to understand that “Even this will pass away”. I am very weak mentally and only with you I am a very strong woman. You are my strength, I trust in you and I move with your guidance. Do whatever you want to do with me. If this is your wish and play, let me enjoy and suffer it.

You want me to curse someone, let me do it, you want me to feel someone as very bad human of this world, let me feel it, but don’t make me to hate her. If you say that, then there is no use of all my grief. I know god, with great difficulty only you made me to come out of that hell. But still why did you allowed me to enter into the hell.

The Hold books are real, authentic, genuine book– filled with the stories and thoughts of real people. I don’t prefer to get into religious sentiments when I am sad because our mind will not allow us to get in touch or to feel the divine.

I know it helps to convince us that our grief is just in our head. Your grief is real, your pain is actual, and there’s still the opportunity for true healing.

If you consider most prominent people from religious front, their life was filled with sorrow, much of their life they will be betrayed, cheated, or wanted to be killed by his opponents, close friends cheating, family taking revenge, but they will be able to devote their time to god. Somehow I have not come to that situation to devote my time to god because I was holding the unwanted things in my hand, head, heart…

To end whatever I am, it is the glory of my beloved parents, friends, siblings, family, surroundings and the heavenly father. I know only one thing is that I don’t go with the wind, but I go with guidance of my god. My trust and faith in you can’t be shattered because of this kind of painful moments. I know you will help me to recover, but it really took long time as I have not spent that much time also with her.

They all have turned me from my mourning into smiling, of course dancing is not possible and I lost every charm of my life with one world. 

God has put off my black days and hugged me with gladness through different and new people, when I was holding the pain of my life and in deep grief. Thanks for the support.

I praise the god for giving the serenity in marvelous splendid way to accept the truth and not to go silent to the cemetery.  Thank you for giving me the realization that I was digging my own burial ground and giving me the clarity that I am not for that. I thank you for providing so many wonderful hearts around me and sincerely praying to you to guide all of them in their special way and keep all of them under your shadow and within the reach of my heart.

Avoid at Work

Avoid at Work Place

Charity begins only at home and not at working environment. Nothing comes at charity in the work place.

I know I am very rigid and I have my own set of rules and I follow it sincerely whether those around me are good or bad. I have the tendency to help the people outside their work

I have a strong aversion to say I love you in the working environment, because it really gives an adverse effect. The only place where I have said I love you and I lost all my respect, dignity, honor, self-esteem, pride and above all my self-confidence is through that stupid lady.

I never had any over confidence. I am very sincere, I will tell my clients/customers that I don’t know, If I don’t know something and I never felt ashamed to say that I don’t know. It is better to say no than to say yes and feeling guilty at the end.

“I love you.” No, not at someone in the working environment.  When it is in my working environment I love you is for my work only and everywhere I mean it–and every time I used to feel it.

My Objective at work place  is “”I know for what I have come for, and I will do it with my head and heart open towards my goal of achieving my work or completing my task,” I will not give any rooms for sentiments or any kind of friendship in the working environment.

I don’t even remember the names of the guys with whom I was associated in the last 18 years. I remember very few names and all of them would have maintained a friendship with me after getting an exit from that environment. I know for sure there are many of my colleagues will remember me and they all will say that I am not a friendly person. But out of office environment, check my circle which is very big and am unable to meet out all of them due to time constraint.

I know for sure that the “I love you” at working environment will spoil our values. But I never expected that I love you out of office also will spoil everything and it can collapse us to this extent. I have some people around me from the same place as my asset, but the one because of whom I said I love you, I lost all my professional ethics and good values earned in the last 20 years. God bless her and show the pain of losing these values in professional environment through others.

I love my work and I don’t love the people for whom it is being delivered. I love to see the smiles of the people when I deliver the project/task successfully. I know I have some people as my friends after coming out of that organization. How happy I was with my personal discipline and morals? What happened to me? Why did she enter my life to make it as hell?

I lost everything because of one person who doesn’t know anything about working environment. I am a professional with white-collar and she is a proletarian. I am a professional who has gone to implement a solution for them and she is a person who is going to use it as an end user.

She works in an uncultured, uncivilized environment where there is no ethics, no equality, no serenity, no conduct and no rules.  How can I expect her to be something or how can I expect some high qualities in her? How long she can act that she has some high qualities? It was my foolishness to believe all her acting as real.

What kind of knowledge she can have and what is my level of knowledge, what is the need for me to see her face, feel for her? Why did I allow the personal relationship to grow in that environment?

Lessons learnt should not be forgotten and I am sharing my lessons with all those who know me and who want to know me. The reason for sharing this also is just to let the world know that what will happen if you skip from your own principles. I have not created something on my own, but being a good observer, I observed certain principles of others and mixed everything and I used to follow it.

Avoid @ workplace

Avoid friendship with colleagues, just maintain hi and hello.

Discussing about personal life, personal life is not private life to discuss with colleagues. Of course sharing about mother’s illness is not a personal of life, whatever is required for the other person to know about my personal only will be shared with them.

My belief and behavior are entirely two different entity and I cant mix up the belief of my friendship with my behavior. I don’t need to show my behavior with my friends in believing them. But I need to maintain my discipline and dignity at working environment.

Talking about Monetary benefits (Salary, other allowances or anything related to CTC).

When you talk about the monetary benefits, definitely there will be gap between two different people and which will result in jealous and it will create discord between 3 parties (me, colleague and employer) whereas the employer is not related in the conversation at all. I am contented and I accepted the package and I work for what they are supposed to pay me. No one in the world will feel that I am getting what I deserve. When we share the CTC with others, either it will have an impact in me or with the other colleague. It will create a rift by all means.

Talking about religion, Talking about politics, talking bad about the company.

At working environment, my work is the religion as well as god to me and I have my own rules to follow whether it is good or bad, my religion is best for me. Whatever I do as work, it is my prayers and offering to god and what I get as salary is what god gives me for my prayers. When I work with a company, I will ensure that I don’t talk bad about my company. Of course here and there we used to work with stupid superiors, but what to do, keep quite and let the stupid screw the happiness. Smile at him and say you are happy so as he will get more anger.

Dressing unprofessionally

Code of conduct comes from your dressing sense. Check yourself out in the mirror every morning and love the person that y0u are.

Don’t boast yourself too much on dress but this is another fact that the people who take care of themselves and properly dress have higher confidence.

People will pick up on your lack of confidence if you show that you are feeling unattractive and not confident enough. Dress smartly by concentrating on your outfits and it should show your dignity to resemble your character. Never say that you are sick when you are not sick

Just for the purpose of availing leave, don’t say that you are sick. I used to tell my superiors that I am going on half day leave with a note saying that I am going to watch this movie. If you say don’t go, I can sit in office but my mind will be in the movie, so please allow me to go and I will do my work tomorrow more efficiently. If you stop me, it will hurt my ego and spoil my work for the next two weeks.

Most of my superiors were not so stupid to stop me and they know how sincere I am as well as how Adamant I am.

Most of the traits came from my parents and I do have to say that my parents were very sincere in their work and I have grown by seeing them.

Never say No to your responsibilities and never blame others for your mistakes.

It is not only no to say to your responsibilities and also don’t say to yes to do others responsibilities. Also don’t blame others for doing a mistake or allowing others to do the mistake.

It is easy to help others, but when something goes wrong the other person will not be interested to take the blame of your mistakes, even though it is their responsibility. It is better to avoid at first instance than repenting after doing a mistake.

Don’t do anything by which you will lose your credibility and confidence.

It is easy to show your hard face and lose the credibility and confidence, but very tough to gain the name and fame from the same people. It is easy to break the walls, but not to break the words. Be careful when you speak about someone and Don’t hesitate to speak the Truth.

Be honest and straight forward

I know that “Straight Trees are cut first” and a person should not be too honest. But it is in my blood. Both my parents are very straight forward and honest people. I can’t be a liar or a betrayer because of my DNA factor.

Even when attending the meetings I used to tell my superiors, make sure that they don’t ask me anything, I can’t tell lies and I will say only truth.

Avoid Gossip and dating with colleagues

The most important factor which I used to follow from my college days is consider all your classmates as like a friends. Don’t get involved in dating was my motto, when I entered my first day college.

Same thing I follow in my working environment, I don’t consider any of them as my friends because it doesn’t allow you to do your work sincerely as well as the friendship spoils their work as well.

It is better not to compromise on work and on the delivery and satisfaction. It is not only to provide satisfaction but also to get the satisfaction of our work along with the colleagues.

If you love your job, then we should not date with colleagues, not only dating even friendship should be avoided. When work relationship doesn’t work or if something goes wrong at the work place, the relationship what we maintain becomes awkward, even the relationship becomes awkward. You lose both the personal and professional ethics what you have built over a period of time, because of some small personal misunderstanding in the professional environment, which will result in resignations, transfer, quitting from the services, sometimes it leads to suicides.

Last but not the least, don’t search job from working environment, and don’t attend interviews during working hours.

Whatever I lost because one person, I know I will regain it shortly, but whatever lost is lost and it really tough