Gift of God – Both Blessings and Curses are the gift of god only.
Do we need to have a reason for loving? Only a life lived for other’s is worth living. A life for self is ruining us.
I say what I can do and do what I used to say. There’s no in between. People will either love you or hate you . The greatest healing therapy is love and friendship.
When I say that love and emotions with you is divine to me, and I can’t expect you to feel in the same way. If you would not have shown your love also, it would have been in the same way. I feel that it would have been the most precious if you would not have shared it with me. I got that special feeling for you even before we started sharing the love.
I believe the world is one big family, and we need to help each other. My Motto of life is not having my relationship within one small family. I love everyone around me, but very few come to the inner circle. My feelings for my friend and a stranger will be same, whereas my feelings for the inner circle will be far more than my family.
I used to pray for others even for strangers and my enemies (Even though I don’t consider anyone as my enemy but still those who consider me as their enemy). I don’t believe in the selfish prayers. I do ask something for self, like I will ask the god to give me strong shoulders to accept the challenges and I never asked for a relief. I know that god will give me a strong shoulder to face the challenges. He is the one giving me the problem and he is the one who can help me to cross it.
My Love for you started unknowingly. I never felt something special as I have it for you now.I felt that something is missing in your eyes. You always keep smiling, but in that smile, there is a deep longing. You can say you don’t have but that was the real feeling what I felt about you.
I didn’t know that you are married also and I came to know through others. I never thought it also because one by look you are young and your face doesn’t say so. May be if I would have started praying on my own, I would have prayed give her the best what she deserves or I would have prayed to god that whatever is required for her to smile from heart, please give it. You entered my prayers may be in the month of December or early Jan-12.(I guess it was during some UAT Sessions)
It is my usual nature that I will pray when someone needs something, which can’t be dealt by me. If it is a word of comfort, or to spend my precious time to heal them or to help them monetarily or to support them mentally, I can do it and I thank god for giving me that opportunity to do it for them.
Rest all other things, I will ask only to god. I believe that god is acting through me to support them, encourage them and to comfort them. Only very few will have those golden blessings to give comfort to others.
When I pray for me, only thing I will ask god is be with me all the day and do whatever you want me to do and guide me in all the phases. Same way in my prayers also, he is the one who wants me to pray for others. I don’t ask for anyone wants and my prayers are only for the needy.
Same way only you entered my room of prayers and even I can’t believe that the way you entered my prayers were as unique as like your name.
Sometimes our 7th sense will say something and it happened like a miracle for me while I was praying. All my prayers were without any bargains with god.
I will not say that I will do this if you give this to them or do that for them, but when I started praying just a fraction of second, something made me to say, I will not think anything about self or I will not think about anything in my life, I will give up all the worldly things.
Please give her all the happiness of the world. Please give her what she needs and make her happy were the prayers and I don’t know how it came from my heart.
After my prayers, I was in deep tension and dilemma how I could pray like this for a stranger because I was having someone in my mind and she was a stranger only because I know her just by face. I am sure that I can’t pray on my own. God wanted me to give up everything, may be that’s why he used her as a medium to guide me.
I used to pray for those who are with pain or deep hurt or ill health. When I started praying you entered my life as a stranger only. I never thought that you will give such an impact in my life.
When we pray for others, god listens, that is what is my feeling and I will not get disturbed when I pray for others. But with this girl, who entered my prayers room only few day and for the first time I was praying for her and how I got that kind of attachment or what it is? I don’t have any clue of my prayer and I was literally disturbed after praying for this girl, because attachments lead to expectations and expectations lead to disappointments. God wanted some detachment and a different attachment as well.
But still I said thanks to god, and I said it is something you have given it and I will keep it as precious gift from you and you want me to have this attachment as well as detachment from worldly things. This is also a different kind of love.
I am sure that I can’t pray for someone on my own and god wanted me to pray for her. I can’t do it without the blessings from god. I have a big friends circle and an affectionate family circle. I don’t pray for everyone individually. I just include all of them in one word as friends and family.
It was just a fraction of second came during my prayers, but it really touched me a lot and I said, if it is your will, I will abide it. Already I don’t ask anything to you and I always take your guidance and follow it. If you wish that I have to let go all my worldly desires, am ready to give up.
Whatever I asked is not on my own without your (god) guidance, I can’t let these kind of words to come out of my mouth also for someone sake, when it is during my prayer, it is from heart and I have to abide the words and I take this as a blessings from you because you are the one who is guiding me all the time.
Neither I had any love for you nor have I seen your love at that point of time. God asked me to love you and my love started for you with my prayers. How can that 7th sense ask me to give up everything for girl whom I don’t know or anything about her? I know only her name and I don’t know anything else. I considered you as god’s gift to me.
It is definitely a blessing from god. I started my prayer by saying to my girl and I never wished to take someone in my prayers as personal prayer. God knows that whatever I ask for her is like a personal need.
I don’t know what kind of love is it at that point of time. Whether it is a love between friends, mother and daughter, or between two strangers? That’s why we say Love is blind and I feel that it is a Gift from God. I don’t want this to be shared publicly because my feeling for you is from heaven, but you thought it differently.
When I started praying regularly for her, I will have a bright smile when I say her name, and I will say to god, please make her to smile in the same way I am smiling now with your blessings, because I know what she means to me and I want her to feel the same blessings from you and to see her smile.
It would have been a blessing if you would not have become so close to me. I don’t know why god wanted you to show your love to me, because I never expected it or want to experience it as well.
When I got the love from you, I felt like god wanted me to feel what I felt as a blessing as a curse. but you proved everything as wrong and what all words I listened from you. I really feel that I don’t deserve to hear all those for showing my love.
Loving you is a blessing, Sharing it with you is a pain, accepting your love is a curse.
To be Continued…………