Tag Archive | fears

Misunderstanding

You meet people who forget you.  You forget people you meet.  But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your friends.

Friendship is perhaps one of the most beautiful relat­ion that two people can feel and share. Friendship is about sharing opinions, dreams, fears and feelings, aspirations & ambitions, desires and hopes.

Friendship is about cherishing the old memories of togetherness of old friends with the new ones and creating a new relationship. Friendship is about enchanting conversations, which go on and on and make you lose track of time. When you watch friends hanging out and having a great time, it seems as if they just belong together. However, maintaining a friendship is not always blushing. It requires a sound mutual understanding with lots and lots of love and care for each other.

Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest.  It’s about who came, and never left your side.

Genuine friends must be cherished and not abandoned

Sometimes the smallest understanding can turn into a major excitement and can develop a great relationship. It really hurts very much when there is a misunderstanding between any relations and when it is between our friends, it takes us to change a lot. It hurts when two close people change by small misunderstanding.

If they are your true friends they would try to sort it out with you. You ask your friend how you have upset them, or what is wrong. At least they will try to find out the reason and try to correct the mistake or can try to explain them about their situation and the reason for the misunderstanding. Both of them will try to sort it out, if there is real love between them.

Sometimes EGO or the immaturity are the stupidest things that spoil the relationship or creates wreckage in the relationship.

I know it does hurt when the other person doesn’t try to understand the intense of the problem or not trying to sort it out.  If one tries and the tries to pull out, then the one who tries not to give up the relationship will try to move on without the relationship because there is no other option other than giving up. Always try to sort it out with your friends/relations. I hope you talk it out with your friend. Let your friend know that you are sorry and you want to correct things with her or him.

Immaturity of the one person or feeling the friendship as immature or the person might even consider the bond as a small matter; it might be very sensitive for the other one. You know there is sometimes what we say as touchy or soft spot that may seem nothing to others but matters to us a lot.

With this misunderstanding, we never know that your friend will feel lonely even when she is in the mid of huge crowd or in between too many people. Her mind will be around the stupid friend and the stupid misunderstanding if there is love.

When there is perfect understanding, there is no chance of misunderstanding. But quite often misunderstanding comes in picture of our life. There is no relationship in the world without any expectations. A friend will expect not to lose the friendship till end) ; misunderstanding can crop up when the expectations are not met. Even small misunderstanding gets magnified and it hurts the other person to great extent. Someone whom we love can’t be given up so easily if there is no pain.

Don’t try not to communicate with each other and make the small crack to break the bridge of friendship. If there is lack of communication and Ego will join the play, then there is no end for the misunderstanding.

It’s only when each one thinks, it’s the other’s fault and are too egoistic to be the first to make up, and it does change people and relationships.

A simple friend thinks the friendship over when you have an argument.  A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

 A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.

 Strengths of friendship are

I love you as you are. I don’t want you to change, let me change myself for you and it will be in both the hearts and this will give the confidence in both that this will go on forever.

I might not agree with all your words what you are saying, but I will love to hear all those words and I will die if I don’t hear it.

I am sorry doesn’t mean that I am mistaken, I value the friendship what I have with you is the meaning.

I miss you says that I can’t be a stranger to you and I need you in my life, we are inseparable and don’t try to make our relationship as strange.

I miss you when I talk to you. I miss you when I am seeing you. Think how I will miss you when I am not talking to you. Don’t make me to avoid you for any reason my dear friend is what I mean when I miss you.

Misunderstandings are common everywhere. But, when you are quick in your apologies and ready to forgive, it becomes a healthy relationship.

Recognize what is petty and what is not petty as to avoid conflicts between the two.

Moving on is very easy, what you leave behind, that makes it difficult. It is really tough to take the heavy heart of missing someone because of their attitude problem.

Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding. ~ Sri Chinmoy

It’s better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of your pride.

 A true friend will tell us when we are wrong. Hear the Bible, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” 

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.

Please cherish all your friends for you never know when they will be gone.  Accept them as friends for they are your friends came in your life for a reason.  Never neglect them, their thoughts, their feelings for they will know you are not the only one to come till end.

 DON’T EVER TAKE FRIENDS FOR GRANTED, JUST BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU.

There is a saying that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. I know, I have got many and I do have a great life. Still my heart wishes to acquire some more…..

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Is Love painful?

Does love cause pain or is it really a feeling caused because of fear? or is it because of the negative emotions caused because of Love? Ideally Love is not painful and it is a pleasant feeling and the fear of love or the negative feelings because of love.

Love is an inconceivable feeling. Love is a beautiful and unbelievable feeling. It makes us to fly in heaven. It never creates pain.
The pain and hurt what we feel doesn’t come from love and it comes from within us on many factors like doubts, fears, anxiety, rejections, possessive nature, distrust, broken trust, envy, jealousy etc. We chunk ourselves with all these feelings and keep saying that love causes pain.  This pain can cause the burden to the heart and I am sure it is not because of the love. Where there is love, there is trust and where there is trust there is no pain. We take all the uncomfortable feelings to our heart and we create chaos.

If we really consider that our relationship is primary and it is important to us, If we value our relationship or the love what we have for the other, then we will not create any turmoil to our relationship. Neither we were taught or educate ourselves that love cannot give pain. All the unwanted feelings are not part of the love. When we are fearful or anger or anxious or jealous, are we experiencing a state of love? We surely feel there is difference in the love .

Love feels warm, Love feels joy, love is felt deep in the heart. Love gives a deep sense of satisfaction Love has to be approached as per the Maslow’s theory (Hierarchy of Needs)

There is a lot of difference between need and want. Love also plays a vital role when it is a wanted relationship and a needed relationship. When you see the love as a wanted relationship you will not have any kind of other ill feelings, even if something crops up, we will say I love it. I will take it easily. When you see the love as a needed relationship, then we allow the pain to enter and play with our heart.

When we enter into a relationship we don’t get into it knowing the good and bad of it. We admire something and fall in love. In reality when we see the changes and we feel that we are very good about ourselves. When we enter in to the love, we become dependent and we expect our love to feel that we need our associate to make us feel good about ourselves. Whether the love is there or not, we were feeling too good about us.  If we would have felt lonely or empty before their entry into our life, we feel that the vacuum is being filled by them and it becomes supreme for us. We fear that space will become empty if they leave, so their staying becomes vital. We become dependent of them and the dependency creates the fear and unhappiness and obviously threat is there in any relationship of leaving the bond.

Either the heart or our mind is not ready to accept that these are not our permanent saviours and they are not here to help us but only to give pain because of the love what you show to them.

We become friends so easily and we fail to keep up it or we give damn to that because we know that they are ours. How a friendship is born?

We meet as strangers. We will talk to the stranger. We get introduced. We admire something in them, we feel some closeness, some comfort feeling, some love, some care etc.,. The stranger will become closer to us, and will become as our friend.  Very few will become special and will become more than everything and some will give the impact of nothing as well.

Stranger will keep on telling that I can’t live without you. I need you to guide me, I need you for this and that and all blah blah.. Initially stranger will say I miss you on on on on & on. . . . .

Everything will be going fine in the friendship. Suddenly they will change with a reason or without a reason. May be they get a new person in their life. In beginning they will tell you about the new person, they will slowly stop talking about that person, they will hide things & stop sharing anything.

If you call they will say I will call you later… I am LITTLE BUSY will talk later. Then they will never call you, you will think that person is busy but ACTUALLY YOU HAVE LOST him/her.. It will take more time for us to realize that the close friend has become a stranger to us. By the time,  we realize that the close friend has become as a stranger, we would have lost ourselves in that friendship.

Don’t bring people close to your heart, because the problem with the close 1 is that, they know where to hit exactly!!

It is better that we should know about ourselves before we enter into any kind of relationship. We are allowing the other person to break our heart. When we start loving others, that moment we become fragile. The moment you enter into any relationship you become weak and vulnerable. You are helpless and you are forced to get the pain because you allowed them to make you weak.

 “Knowing Others is Wisdom, Knowing Yourself is Enlightenment.”

Who knows more about me? Does a friend knows more about me, my parents, my spouse, my kids ? who knows more about me other than myself. No one is closer than me and I love myself more than any one.

It is very much required to get the clarity about who you are and what you want (and why you want it). Sometimes we dwell in utopia and want these dreams as a reality.  A dream is just a dream, you can’t make it reality and we should know the difference between the dream and the reality. Loving someone in dreams is not the reality and loving someone in life will never become a dream. If dreams continues then it creates internal dramas and unknown beliefs, and allows unknown thought processes to decide our feelings and actions.

If you think about it, not understanding why you do what you do, and feel what you feel is like going through your life with a stranger’s mind. How do you make wise decisions and choices if you don’t understand why you want and  what you want? It’s a difficult and chaotic way to live never knowing what this stranger is going to do next.

Believe in your friend and accept if the friend becomes as a stranger, and don’t try to dwell with the stranger as the time has changed the stranger’s priority from a friend to a stranger and these friends will never stick on to anyone’s life because they are tresspasser’s.

They were never said to be in our life and it is our mistake that we entertained them to enter into our life.

They know only to hit us in the right place to become more vulnerable and it is not their intention to keep us safely in their heart. They become close with you for their timely needs and at their convenience they will leave you or ditch you.

If ever I say goodbye to anyone, that doesn’t mean that I hate them or I love them no more or I don’t need anymore in my life. It means I want them to be much happier.

If ever I would cry, it’s not only because I lost them, but also because I lost my life’s precious moments without spending with them. I can’t feel that I have lost most precious moments just because of spending my time with them, because they have given me a special feeling of that relationship.

It is very hard to get people with the same attitude and we have to accept what we have got as pain ONLY.

Don’t allow any intruders to ruin your heart. Self-love is the best way to being loving and happy with who you are. Sometimes it is self-esteem and sometimes it will not allow your self-esteem to get hurt as well. Accepting ourselves will make us to feel great and when we get hurt, we can accept with what we have done.

“In Love pain is inevitable which needs to be considered as love only not as pain “

Love itself becomes pain if the other person doesn’t realize the love of the others. But when it is between two understanding hearts, then it is a pleasant pain, when it is love it is pleasant, when we have fear it is pain and we can’t avoid this pleasant pain in any kind of relationship”. What is more matters the value of the relationship, whether it is pleasant or pain? If the pain is more, we will come out of the relationship and if the pain is less, we will try to cope up with the pain as well.

In life when you have to make a choice between the one you love and the one who loves you. Choose the one who loves you. Because you can learn to love someone…. But cannot teach someone to love you!!”

“The experience of love is the same, what changes are our preferences.” 

“Love till it hurts, and when it hurts, love some more and when it hurt some more, love till it hurts no more”