Tag Archive | dreams

Dawn as Dusk

Dawn as Dusk

This is one of the subject which I never tried to touch because I am a rebellion (I often say to my friends that I will hit you, I will slap you, I will kill you and so on) but I am not a terrorist to hear/talk/see/feel the terrorism.

I landed Chennai on a Thursday 01st May’2014 which is unusual for me as I will land on Friday’s. As usual I asked my brother to come and pick me from the airport, another brother who was very busy with his activities told me that he will meet me in the airport to share his Hard disk drive to copy the movies. We met on the way just for one minute and we left the place.

I was not aware that a major terrific incident happened because of my overwhelmed joy of being with my family. Even while roaming within my area, when I saw more police force and tight security, I was making fun with my friend that a VIP is in the Area that’s why this security checks. I was not aware of the attack.

A story of a young girl which was supposed to be as like a sunrise for the family but even before raising, the downfall happened for the family.

When I heard that a girl of 23 years Swathi died in the bomb blast, I was really shocked but due to my trip and tight schedule I was not able to think about it more than feeling sorry for the incident.

When I was trying for a subject to share my feelings, my brother who met me on the way to the airport asked me to write about it as he went straight a way to the Central Railway Station for his interest in natural photography. He was able to see the bomb blast happened place within few hours and he has seen the dead-body of Swathi.

Today while I am talking about the terrorism, he asked me to talk about this subject and said I have seen her dead-body and I have the moral rights to ask you to write about her dreams.

I was in Mumbai when the serial blasts happened in the trains and I know how or in what the situation of the family members when the people travel in the similar kind of situations. How eagerly people will be waiting to know that their blood is safe, friend is in a safer place and so on.

I was not a victim of such terrific activities, but I was thinking that if I was in that situation what would have happened in my life? I have lived more years compared to Swathi, but still I wouldn’t prefer to die before achieving atleast 10% of my wishes in life. To be frank, I cannot dream for another girl, because my dreams are countless, but I can think what all dreams she would have got in her life.

She was in her 23 years when she attained the abode of god, but in a terrific way. Was it destined to her? No, it was the gift provided by the terrorist, for what? There is no reason in her death.

What all she missed in her life?

Her education, got her a job, when she succeeded in her studies, she would have dreamt to work in some big IT companies, her dreams got fulfilled by getting a job in TCS.

First month salary, I wanted to spend with family & friends, and I want to go back and meet them after saving hand full of money.

She was going back to her native after 4 months of time. She wanted to gift her parents with her first month earnings. What best a daughter could think of doing with her first salary? She bought the gifts but she got a gift of death even before giving the gifts or sharing the joy of her first salary with her family. What a tragedy? Can anyone think of this? Why ? what is the reason behind this tragedy? Has anyone taken security measures?

Whether she was in love or not, I don’t know anything about her. But as a female with sound knowledge, good-looking, soft personality, and friendly person, who is passionate towards whatever she does, would have got colorful dreams about her guy, marriage, life etc.,

Either she would have chosen a guy of her choice or her parent’s choice. Definitely she would have got a sweet dream to get married with her guy and to lead a peaceful life with one or two kids.

She would have dreamt about her promotion, appraisal, switching the job.

She would have got the wish to visit USA/UK or some foreign countries as part of her profession or as dream to visit foreign countries.

She would have got the ability to do good to the nation.

She would have got the interest to be part of the Social activities.

She would have got the dreams to become a politician to do well and to serve to the nation.

DO I BELIEVE IN DESTINY – yes I do believe in destiny

Swathi was believed to have tried to buy a ticket for a direct train from Bangalore to Guntur, but changed her plan because her death was behind her and she got into this train to get killed. She was accompanied by her friend in the train and they were chatting whole night.

It is highly impossible for that friend to see her friend as dead-body who was talking to her few hours back. How Swathi’s family could have accepted the news of her death as they were waiting for her with anxiety to receive their daughter who was away from home for the last 3-4 months.

Dreams are unlimited for everyone and I cannot say let all her dreams come true because she is no more, I can only pray that let her soul rest in peace and let not anyone else die in such kind of terrorist activities. But with her death, all her dreams vanished with her.

When I received the photos from my brother from the bomb blast area, I was not able to see it and till today I have not seen it.

If I die in a road accident, can my friends accept it, they will scold me even after my death for my rash driving or for careless driving as they care and feel that I am supposed to live for few more years. If at all I have to die in a train accident, I can’t help it; if at all I have to die of sudden heart attack my family can accept it.

What can we say for this small little girl with 1000 of dreams about her life, career…? How could one control or console her lost? Is it a loss only to her parents? Is it a loss only to her family? is it a loss only to the company where she was working? is it not a loss for the nation?

It is a humble request to the terrorist, Please stop terrorism, we are not asking you to let us live happily but we want to die peacefully with the age and disease not with the bullets and bombs. Those who are born in this world has to leave this world for sure but not by the terrorists.

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Back to School

Back to School

While writing back to school, am having a big smile in my face, but literally I don’t like to go to schools as like all the kids.

When I spin the wheel back to my school days, I remember that I used to wish that I need never-ending Sundays and there is no Monday’s to come. Sometimes while going nearer to school I will delay myself so as the school gates will get closed and I can go back as the entrance was closed. Unfortunately my father will drop us exactly before the gate gets closed. If I dare to go back home my father would give me a good blow. Just like the teacher did long ago.

Every week I will get sick until 9.00 AM and I will be alright after 10.00 AM till next day. But back then none of us have got any choice but to go.

As like others, I will not say that school days are interesting days and I want to go back to my school days. I never wanted to go back to school days. I will say school days are innocent days and not interesting days of my life and more of ignorance till my tenth standard which I feel awkward today but that is the reality with me.

To be honest, I don’t remember how I practiced the alphabets, numbers but I remember the way I used to memorize the multiplication tables and it was purely based on my father’s effort. We used to do the homework on our own and we enjoy our evening all the time playing after completing the homework.

When all the students will study the subject ‘Heart’ & ‘Eye’, I used to study about frog and ears (Those were easy). Everyone will break their head with Algebra but I used to feel relaxed with Geometry and graph. (To score pass mark, it is enough) When I think about this now, I feel that how stupid I was. This will say how I was ignorant.

To say about innocence, my name is the example for it. As per the birth time, name was given as Uma with my father’s name as initials. Two of my school mates were commenting that my name is very small and I started crying to my father and fighting with him that why did you keep my name so small, I want my name to be lengthy one.

Even now I am paying the price of my innocence, because of my full name now. My father changed my name instantly saying that keep your first teacher’s name along with your name (Uma became Uma VijayaLakshmi Ponnappan). One of my school friend caught me in the face book because of my full name.

Even though I was innocent and ignorant, I can say that I have the art of creativity when I was very young even before class 3, I remember that I used to tell stories to my friends about my dreams that I was flying in the space with a friend (not in flights).

About my naughtiness, no one can be like me, I still remember that I will go to the school with my class teacher only. She has to come to my home to pick me otherwise I will cry like anything to go to school. After seeing her face only I will feel relaxed to go to school. It is art of adaptability but no one was able to realize it at that time.

I have to say that I was not notorious because I was very lazy. Always my first teacher VL used to say that because of your laziness you are going to be behind all other people. If you are a stupid, then it is fine, but laziness there is no medicine for it. About my hatredness for studies, I have to say that it came to me in my early stages due to one of the teacher only.

Once I got severe blow from the teacher because I did not do my homework. I informed my mother that I will not go to school anymore because she hit me very badly in the school. My mother told that she will come and speak to the teacher and she came to the school and told the teacher that she can beat her daughter for her misbehaviors or if we are not disciplined. They should not beat the kids if they didn’t do the homework, because it was not the kid’s mistake and it is parent’s mistake and my parents were working. She told her politely only but the teacher got offended and started beating me wildly. I still remember that for each and every hit, she was saying go and tell your mother that I did this to you today also.

After that incident I really hate to go to school and unknowingly I got hatred for studies and teacher. Unfortunately I was forced to go to the same school for three years. Luckily, that teacher got married and left the school in a year.

After that I never had any respect for any of the teacher but my first teacher was with me all the way through till my Tenth Standard. Apart from VL, I met a teacher in my 7th standard who was teaching English and History, because of her kindness and approach I started loving this teacher. I was very attentive in her classes.

As like now, I was not having best friends or close friends from the school, because I love all of them equally. There will be groups but I will be in all the groups. I don’t remember most of my classmate’s names and very few are in touch. Above than my classmates, I will have friends from my seniors and super seniors. Friendship with elders is what I consider as my strength moving forward in life.

During my 10th Standard, my class teacher was taking attendance and fortunately I was inside the class room and gave my attendance. She asked how you are inside the classroom. Your place is outside the classroom and your proxies will say that you are inside the school. I used to be outside the class for your sporting event or debate or other activities. How this madam is inside the class room? What are you going to do? Immediately I told her I am going out for volley ball match practice and left the class room.

After 10th Standard, I went for my Diploma as I want to put an end to my studies early. During my Diploma course, I used to argue with the lecturers that I am studying and getting score on my own. I know I struggled a lot for mathematics and one teacher from outside helped me to get through in Mathematics.

After my Diploma, there was no set back and after that my UG and PG were through distance education on my own effort (of course with couple of good teachers support).

When I was studying, I used to feel that our education system needs a revamp. Unfortunately my niece and nephew will also follow the same pattern of going to school, studies, memorize, exam, results but I strongly believe that practice makes man perfect and on job training only helps people in growing up. Have I lost because of this concept, yes I do. As per my mother’s request, if I would have continued my Engineering, I would have got settled in US with a Green card and I will not be writing about my school days by this time from UAE, instead I would have blogged about my trip to Disney World or about world tour (Ignorance played a role here also) .

The great difference between my school days and working days are Mondays should not come and now I can work even without weekends. When it is passion, we never feel tiredness and to bring the passion while studying is in the hands of policy makers (change in education system).

I am happy with the way I got my knowledge to identify what is ignorance, innocence and I got the intelligence through the phases of my learning through experiences (not through studies)

Misunderstanding

You meet people who forget you.  You forget people you meet.  But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your friends.

Friendship is perhaps one of the most beautiful relat­ion that two people can feel and share. Friendship is about sharing opinions, dreams, fears and feelings, aspirations & ambitions, desires and hopes.

Friendship is about cherishing the old memories of togetherness of old friends with the new ones and creating a new relationship. Friendship is about enchanting conversations, which go on and on and make you lose track of time. When you watch friends hanging out and having a great time, it seems as if they just belong together. However, maintaining a friendship is not always blushing. It requires a sound mutual understanding with lots and lots of love and care for each other.

Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest.  It’s about who came, and never left your side.

Genuine friends must be cherished and not abandoned

Sometimes the smallest understanding can turn into a major excitement and can develop a great relationship. It really hurts very much when there is a misunderstanding between any relations and when it is between our friends, it takes us to change a lot. It hurts when two close people change by small misunderstanding.

If they are your true friends they would try to sort it out with you. You ask your friend how you have upset them, or what is wrong. At least they will try to find out the reason and try to correct the mistake or can try to explain them about their situation and the reason for the misunderstanding. Both of them will try to sort it out, if there is real love between them.

Sometimes EGO or the immaturity are the stupidest things that spoil the relationship or creates wreckage in the relationship.

I know it does hurt when the other person doesn’t try to understand the intense of the problem or not trying to sort it out.  If one tries and the tries to pull out, then the one who tries not to give up the relationship will try to move on without the relationship because there is no other option other than giving up. Always try to sort it out with your friends/relations. I hope you talk it out with your friend. Let your friend know that you are sorry and you want to correct things with her or him.

Immaturity of the one person or feeling the friendship as immature or the person might even consider the bond as a small matter; it might be very sensitive for the other one. You know there is sometimes what we say as touchy or soft spot that may seem nothing to others but matters to us a lot.

With this misunderstanding, we never know that your friend will feel lonely even when she is in the mid of huge crowd or in between too many people. Her mind will be around the stupid friend and the stupid misunderstanding if there is love.

When there is perfect understanding, there is no chance of misunderstanding. But quite often misunderstanding comes in picture of our life. There is no relationship in the world without any expectations. A friend will expect not to lose the friendship till end) ; misunderstanding can crop up when the expectations are not met. Even small misunderstanding gets magnified and it hurts the other person to great extent. Someone whom we love can’t be given up so easily if there is no pain.

Don’t try not to communicate with each other and make the small crack to break the bridge of friendship. If there is lack of communication and Ego will join the play, then there is no end for the misunderstanding.

It’s only when each one thinks, it’s the other’s fault and are too egoistic to be the first to make up, and it does change people and relationships.

A simple friend thinks the friendship over when you have an argument.  A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

 A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.

 Strengths of friendship are

I love you as you are. I don’t want you to change, let me change myself for you and it will be in both the hearts and this will give the confidence in both that this will go on forever.

I might not agree with all your words what you are saying, but I will love to hear all those words and I will die if I don’t hear it.

I am sorry doesn’t mean that I am mistaken, I value the friendship what I have with you is the meaning.

I miss you says that I can’t be a stranger to you and I need you in my life, we are inseparable and don’t try to make our relationship as strange.

I miss you when I talk to you. I miss you when I am seeing you. Think how I will miss you when I am not talking to you. Don’t make me to avoid you for any reason my dear friend is what I mean when I miss you.

Misunderstandings are common everywhere. But, when you are quick in your apologies and ready to forgive, it becomes a healthy relationship.

Recognize what is petty and what is not petty as to avoid conflicts between the two.

Moving on is very easy, what you leave behind, that makes it difficult. It is really tough to take the heavy heart of missing someone because of their attitude problem.

Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding. ~ Sri Chinmoy

It’s better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of your pride.

 A true friend will tell us when we are wrong. Hear the Bible, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” 

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.

Please cherish all your friends for you never know when they will be gone.  Accept them as friends for they are your friends came in your life for a reason.  Never neglect them, their thoughts, their feelings for they will know you are not the only one to come till end.

 DON’T EVER TAKE FRIENDS FOR GRANTED, JUST BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU.

There is a saying that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. I know, I have got many and I do have a great life. Still my heart wishes to acquire some more…..