Tag Archive | concern

How to Find a good person who will love you and not hurt your feelings….

How to Find a good person who will love you and not hurt your feelings….

Find good person who will love you and not hurt your feelings….

A friend of mine who has been giving trouble in all relationships and I was tired of being hurt and was getting hurt more and more. Initially I thought that I am doing something wrong and but the more I analyzed about her qualities, it seems to be like that her nature is quarreling character and she was never true to anyone or loyal to anyone around us. She always used to hurt one or the other around by any means.

I am sorry I will not write anything about her. I promised all my friends that I will not write anything about her anymore. I have some contents that need to be posted but it will be posted little later(as promised I will not write anymore).

It’s time for me to say about the trouble with relationships and who can love us and who will not hurt.

We have to learn what to look for in a relationship and the new standards that the potential things in love.

However, you should not feel love on not getting hurt, rather you should feel love as being showed respect, generosity, caring, appreciation… etc… love is sharing the care and concern, an affection , not with an intention of  getting  hurt.

I tried to show all of this but, really I got hurt but that is not the case with everyone with whom I move. “Love is when someone does not emotionally hurt you.” Ideally love is to support for your emotional needs. It differs from person to person in relationship.

If you get hurt physically/mentally with an accident or incident or by falling or some way and got a deep hurt, if the one you love is ready to apply the  medicine to your wound then you can feel that they are really in love and it would not mean that somebody loves you if they didn’t put acid on your wound. If they really care, they will have a piece of word and care to handle your grief and they will not add fuel to your grief. If someone adds grief in your life, you should know that the person doesn’t love you or the care shown by the person was never ever real.

Especially in the case of mother, you can feel that when you get drenched in the rain, everyone in the family will scold you, why don’t you wait for the rain to stop, it was cloudy, you could have taken the umbrella.. but a mother will bring in the towel to wipe the head. A love which never fades in any situation and in any circumstances. She will always think and be the first one to protect us.

You have to realize that the person is worth of understanding your pain or not. If they are not, obviously you don’t deserve to love them or to show your care for them because their love is fake.

In any relationships, no one is perfect and however you feel that you are perfect, you will always get hurt because no relationship is perfect, but it’s your ability to pick up from the hurt and keep up your relationship, try to help each-other and support each-other in difficult times is what makes your relationships more meaningful.

When the other person hurts you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you and in the same way when they don’t hurt you, it does not necessarily mean they love you.

Love is like showing someone how much you can show the care and love is like showing them as much as you love yourself. It is really a great feeling to show your love and care to someone sincerely but it is not your option to continue the same with someone who takes your for granted. You can give up yourself for their love but not your love for someone who doesn’t care about it.

It is always good to find somebody who will treat you well and not somebody who will not treat you bad. I mean it is good if you get someone who can treat you good but it is more good if they don’t ill treat you or hurt your love/feelings.

Greatest thing in love is to feel the love for someone and not not trying it or failing in it makes not much different. But when you feel the love, it makes a lot of difference.

Love – A greatest feeling and love to be loved and to be in love….

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Women’s Day -2013

My Dear Brothers,

We don’t need your wishes, we don’t need flowers, we don’t need chocolates, we don’t need your love, we don’t need your care and we don’t need your protection.

I am really ashamed to wish happy women’s day because “Seven out of ten women sexually harassed”. Where is the happiness to celebrate the womanhood? If you all have become Robin Hood to give protection and secured feeling to the women, then there is a meaning to celebrate the women’s day.

What we need from you?

We are human and not an animal or a thing to be used and thrown out of your life. What kind of society in which we are living?

One of my friends was telling me that blood is always thicker than water. I don’t understand the meaning of it. I am really feeling so sick when something happens to some female through a father/brother/husband. If a father/brother/husband can do these kinds of activities, then all the harassment’s against women will never stop.

A father is not behaving like a father and a brother does not know the meaning of blood relationship.  Every family feels that the husband is like the savior for a female and a father has the role of lovable mother, a brother needs to know that his sister is his own blood and equal to a mother.

How cheaply a female is being ruined. What is happening to the society? I am not blaming all my brothers are wrong or all my friends are bad people. 

Here and there we used to hear couple of news in a year, but now the revolution is happening against women. Now it is happening not here and there but every now and then. Where are we leading to? Rape of 3 years old? 7 years old, 11 years old? Are they human? How can they do it to a small child? Even to have the pleasure of sex, don’t they need someone who is up to that level?

Why is it happening?

Lot of freedom to women is the cynical answer from the male chauvinist guys. What kind of freedom? Who asked this freedom? Who are you to give freedom to me? As like you we are also born in 10 months.

When some evil things comes in your mind, please tell your mind that there is a sister, mother and wife at home, what if someone like you thinks about them in the same way as your evil mind thinks?

This women’s day wishes I am dedicating it to the all the men who tried to help me to recover me from my all the pains and struggles of my life in the last 5-6 months. I have to say thanks to those who were supporting me all through my life. Almost all the time most of my friends (including females) were behind me and supported me in all the struggles.

Most of the women in the society speak to you in a fear only, don’t give that fear to them and let them know that there some near and dear one’s to protect her, care her and to provide the dignity what she deserves.

I am taking this women’s day as special and thanking all the men who gave the honor and made me to feel proud of myself by giving me the required respect, love, care and concern.

There are some nasty guys, let them also know that women are not for pleasure or for the sexual need of a man. Please know the difference between LOVE and lust.

PLEASE JOIN YOUR HANDS AND TEACH THOSE WHO ARE WITH YOU TO TREAT ALL THE WOMEN WITH RESPECT, LOVE and CARE.

When you give the honor, you get the honor. When you give the love, you will get the love, when you protect women, faith and trust are born. You are also protected by god.

When a female feels that she is safe with her friend without saying that you are like my brother or father then that is the real freedom. Please give us the freedom to live our life as you are living without any fear of life.

Ideally from this women’s day I wish to salute all the men who lead the way for the women empowerment, women education, women employment, women entrepreneur and etc.,. I thank those who stand with women and saying to the world that “with women we are growing stronger and we are not becoming weaker”.

Strength or Weakness?

உந்தன் நிழலோடு நான் – என்னோடு நீ ! ! !

இதுவரை நான் உணர்ந்த அத்தனை உணர்வுகள் அனைத்தும் உன்னோடு நான் என்று இருந்ததால், அதனை ஆங்கில மொழிதனில் நீ படித்திட வேண்டும் என்று அனைத்தையும் பதிவிட்டேன். இன்று ஏனோ நீ இதனை அறிய வேண்டாம் என்று தோன்றுவதால், எனது தாய் மொழியாம் தமிழினில் பதிவிட மனம் துடிக்கிறது.

என்னை அறிந்த அனைவரும் சொல்லும் ஒரு சொல், நான் அவர்கள் மீது கொண்ட பாசம், நேசம், நட்பு, அன்பு என்று பல பெயர்களில் சொன்னாலும், உண்மையான, தூய்மையான, உன்னதமான ஒரு ஸ்னேகம் மட்டுமே அதில் இருக்கும். ஆனால் நீயோ நான், கற்பனையில் கூட நினைக்க மறந்த இனிய உறவாக என்னையும் அறியாமல் எனக்குள் பிறந்தாய்….. பேரின்பத்தின் உச்சத்தை எட்டச் செய்தாய்.

இது நாள் வரை நான் உன்னால் பல முறை வருத்தப்பட நேர்ந்தாலும், கண்ணீரோடு பல நாட்கள் இருந்தாலும், உதட்டினில் மாறாத சிரிப்போடு மட்டுமே உன் முன்னே வளம் வந்தேன், காரணம் உன்னால் ஏற்பட்ட அந்த உறவின் சுகமும் உனக்கு சிறிதும் மன வருத்தம் ஏற்பட்டுவிட கூடாது என்றும் மட்டுமே.

எந்தன் அன்பினை நன்றாக அறிந்திருந்தும், ஏதோ உனக்குள் இயல்பாக இருக்கும் ஒரு வெறுமையின் பாதிப்பை என்னோடு காட்டுகின்றாய். நீ எனக்குள் வந்தபின் நான் என்னும் அகந்தையும் அடிபட்டு போனதே ஒரு விந்தை. ஆம் ஒவ்வொரு முறையும் நீ என்னோடு விளையாடும் அனைத்திலும் எந்தன் நான் என்றது அடிபட துடித்தேன். வேறு யாராக இருந்தாலும் அவரது உறவே வேண்டாம் என்று தான் இருந்து இருப்பேன், இது என்னை பெற்றவாளாக இருந்தாலும் அதையே தான் செய்து இருப்பேன்.

நீ எந்தன் உணர்வுகளை கொன்று, எனக்கான உறவினையும் கொன்ற பின்பும் கூட ஏன் வந்தாய்? எதற்காக வந்தாய் என்று எண்ணம் கொள்வதற்கு கூட நேரமில்லாமல், உன்னை மட்டுமே நினைக்கும் இல்லை சிந்திக்கும் இல்லை சுவாசிக்கும் அளவிற்கு என்னை ஆட்கொண்டாய்.

இனிய உறவாக இருந்ததால், உன்னை நிஜம் என்று எண்ணியது எந்தன் தவறே. பல நேரங்களில் காயப்பட்டு இருந்தாலும், உன்னால் ஏற்பட்ட பாதிப்பினை அந்த இனிய சுகத்திற்காக, எந்தன் காயத்திற்கு உனது சிரிப்பினை மருந்தாக நினைத்துக் கொள்வேன். குழந்தை எட்டி உதைத்தால் வலிக்காது என்று எனக்கு நானே சமாதனம் சொல்லியதுண்டு.

கற்பனையிலும் இல்லாத உறவு, நிஜத்தில் ஆனால் அந்த உறவினை நிழலாக மாற்றியதும் நீயே…..

உந்தன் உறவானது ஆலமரம் போல் என்னுள் வேரூன்றி வளர்வதற்கு நீயே தான் காரணம்….. உறவுகளின் உன்னதம் தெரியாத உன்னால் என்னுள் எனக்கான ஒரு உறவினை எப்படி வளர்த்திட முடிந்தது? எனது பலமே எனது உறவுகள் தான். எப்படி இன்று எனது பலவீனமாக ஆனது?

Give Up and Never Give Up

Never Underestimate what you can achieve when you believe in yourself.

I believe in me but I believe more in you that’s why I am ready to give up my love.

It is really a tough decision to give up and not to give up on any activities. Especially when we are in deep love and the person whom you love does not required to adore you but if the person whom you love does not understands the other person feeling, it is not the mistake of the other person, it is the mistake of the you for selecting the wrong person to love and thank that person for giving the opportunity to love and know the value of your love for the right person.

If someone is not interested in you it is very good. Don’t feel dejected and the person whom you love only should feel that they miss you. Think positively that in your best interest to find someone who does love and adore you for who you are. Know that you are worth it, and there are plenty of people who will love you. Never ever settle for someone who is not treating you and respecting you the way you deserve. 

It is not east to find what might be in their head or heart. It takes two people to be in a relationship and even though you feel the way that you do, maybe it was not meant to be in the way the other person wants it. Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you!

You can’t go in deep to the other’s heart wherein you don’t have any place, if you are in some heart you will never feel to give up. It is not an easy for us to give up on the one whom we love, but it is for the benefit of ourselves, we have to give up. There is a saying never give up, I will say give up because those who deserve the love will not let the other person even to give a thought of giving up the relation.

I know I deserve better and I don’t deserve any pain, I tell to myself that I don’t deserve this pain in most of the cases and I will give up the other for the benefit of myself.  I will say that you are not worth of my love, you are too young to realize what you are doing to me or to understand what is love and I guess that’s it and I have to give an end for this.

It’s not that I am feeling to get over a person, it’s about the feeling of good about ourselves. It’s about knowing that I am the most important and I need to be happy, if I am not happy, I can’t make others smile. If the other person doesn’t feel the same way, it doesn’t really matter. Love yourself more so as you can love others.

To give up or not to give up is always an unfortunate situation to have in anyone’s life. But it is quite common in everyone’s life. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other and it is not ideal for 2 people to love each other at the same pace, but life is never ideal. To get this kind of relationship to work, we need patience! We have to weigh either waiting for her or moving on as options. If our feelings are real, and we choose to hang in there, we will be taken for granted and anyone will take us for a ride. Still we must not scare her away with our feelings!

To be in great love, you should be great friends. If we let our feelings reach steadiness, we’ll find it becomes easier sometimes just to ignore your strong feelings for her and just kick-back and chill with her. It may give a hope to know that she can see you in the same light, just not so quickly or if you get the feeling that it will never then it is better to give up than to hold on to it.

It is strange when you are hurting from rejection, to hear someone say move on things will be fine. No matter how much you love her, she never loves you back. For all those wondering what went wrong. Stop wondering and say to yourself that you have not got the right person for you. She is not the right person to love. Only when you stop chasing someone who doesn’t love you, you will open the door for that perfect person who will love you back with the same passion that you will love her.

Best way is not to try to be in contact because it’s almost like an addiction. You think that one little text will do no harm but the pain when she doesn’t reply will just make things worse. It is very good to keep the distance and to avoid as much as possible so as we can avoid the self-hurt.

It is quite common in all of us that at times we feel very weak and feel we need to talk to that other person inspite of knowing that they will hurt you again. We don’t know why we want to talk to them, we just do it because of addiction.

I decided not to call or text message just because I have been doing it so far and I think I will be able to get out of these and I can make sure to the other person not to feel me as weak. If at all if it becomes difficult, the I will write down all my feelings and all my feelings and thoughts will come out, it might not be so pleasant as I do with her, but it actually helps.

Being in love with someone who does not feel the same way as you do is really a tough situation. It’s not a problem at all and we can fix those. It is better to walk off when someone doesn’t feel your love as the way you do.

Don’t even give them the privilege of friendship because you’ll pull yourself back into the misconception. Do things for yourself, keep busy, bury yourself in work and keep searching for what you really want and need. Don’t do the same mistakes over again and again.

If you believe in fate then we know that things happen when they are meant to be and we can’t avoid it. but we can be little careful not to get hurt. Many come and many go out of our life and they are part for some reasons beyond human understandings. But the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That’s the power of fate. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts. If I win your love, then it is your destiny and , if I lose, then it is my destiny to find a new love for me.

Firstly, love is a peculiar thing. If you truly loved someone, then you’d be able to realize that it’s OK if they don’t love you back, which shows your love. When we truly love someone, we don’t expect the same kind of love from them, but it really hurts that the other person doesn’t even understands it.

Don’t tell that they will change tomorrow, next week, next month maybe someday, who knows they will never change. True love accepts the person for who they are, even when they are evil and they don’t love you. That is what means accepting reality.  I love and accepted reality and at the same time, I am forced to move on.

It is not easy to deal with reality and move on without love, I take the bitterness with me and leave the sweet of my love for you. When I love without dealing with reality, I hurt myself. I still love the other person, and trying to accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you’ll need to do that continuously until it becomes a problem.

If we know for a fact there is no hope for a mutual love, then why torture ourselves. Move on. Treat it like a divorce. It will always be painful for one party if it is not a mutual divorce. It is a forceful divorce  to live and keep meeting people. You say to self that you have to be available for the right person who comes along your way.

Love is like a railway station, there’s always going to be another opportunity for the train to stop again — if we are ready for it at the station. Just stop being around that person if at all possible. If you can’t, then think in your mind about how wonderful it would be to actually find someone special that returns your love. Tell yourself that you deserve it.

It is not easy for anyone to control their love no matter how hard we try, we will fail and our love will always make us to fail. It’s just one of those things, but we can choose to love again. Write your thoughts on paper, sometimes it helps to get your thoughts out of you, in writing. It’s like a release or venting. Then tear it into pieces and flush it or scrap it so it can’t be found to possibly humiliate you later.

True love gives and expects nothing in return, a true unanswered love. Let me move on from my imperfect to perfect level.

I can only pray to God that you forgive them for not being able to love me. We have to deal with reality only…. In Reality god will only can guide you to come out of this love and not to make it as a a problem for anyone.

Give me the strength to realize that I can move on.

Give me the courage to try something different.

Give me the wisdom and sense for me to respect myself.

If you truly loved them, it doesn’t matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.

When you love someone you must know when it is time to let go. This sounds hard but that is the strength, courage and knowledge is gathered from a broken heart.

No one promised that love would last forever.

Never let bad feelings or experience change the person you are.

No one wants a wounded bird, so understand that you need time to heal internally. There is no set time on when this will happen, but just let it take it’s own time. When the time is right, and you will feel like you are ready to love again, don’t look for the love, let love find you

Life is short and a chance given by god to love others. So enjoy and taste your breath. Your battle is not lost, you are just about to begin a new chapter in love and start living your moment.

Love yourself, pray, not only for you, but for that person as well and to keep you strong.

Continues…