Tag Archive | brave

Rape- Rape-Rape

Getting accused for own mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Rape is an act that the strangers using their force over a woman to satisfy their lust, using their power. Rapes are not the actions that are for the physical needs of a guy with the concern of the girl. I hope the guys who read this will agree to it. If so we will not have the basic concept of love, marriage and the system to follow in any culture or any part of the world.

What is the society trying to say to my Indian woman, be submissive and dependent? Yes we are dependent on these guys around us to keep ourselves safe and pure. We are not dependent on them for anything else.

I really feel ashamed to say am a woman today because of the way our womanhood is being handled all over the world. I am ashamed to say a word for females as we are doing evils by exposing the Nirbaya to the world. If we can’t secret of a woman who was brutally raped and died as a victim, what are we going to do?

RAPE is one of the thing which goes around my mind from the time of Nirbaya. There are many more Nirbaya’s happening every day in every nook and corner of the world.

The statistics say that for an hour there are 3 woman is getting raped and the so called woman age starts from the age of 3. Guys should feel shame but we still hear that a 2 or 3-year-old baby is raped and taken to hospital.

How this 3 year woman can have faith and belief in you ?

A rape is  like you are an experienced driver but due to the negligence of other driver, you have all the chances of getting killed in an accident.These rapes are not even negligence of the woman but the brutal act of male chauvinism. 

GUYS there is no such stupid statements as guys and girls are equal, the equality is shattered and we are inferior only when someone is trying to take something out of me without my concern, you become more powerful. When we resist, you become more aggressive and violent for rejecting you.

There are so many people in the world who continue their life as  normal like others without even saying out that they are the victims of rape or harassed by the guys around them.

As all the rapes are happening outside my house, I am not ready to discuss it further or take it as a serious threat to womanhood. Why the entire nation is not ready to give their support for the rape victims and to protect their information secretly and to conduct the cases faster and to give justice in short period. The rapists have to be hanged in public. I am not a wild animal, but we should show to the society, if you behave like a wild animal, you have to be shot to dead.

Fear of life will certainly not make them to do these kind of violence’s not only in a female life, but also in anyone’s life. 

Why does the rape happens is what is going on in my mind?

Is it because of the Equality?

Equality has not led to these changes. Equality means, you are having fun, talking with your friend about a girl or anything, needs to be with your friend who can be a girl. This a girl as like your friend like  your friend who is a guy. Don’t have the sexual attraction towards them.

Is it because of the women liberation? Freedom for women? I will say that it is not the reason as the rapes are not happening in the recent time, it is happening since long time, when the women were not even coming out of their houses. Now the some cases are coming out due to the power and existence of the media.

Is it because of sexual frustration? If Yes, ideally only men have to be raped not the women. Expectations of a woman are not fulfilled in most of the marriages and the woman has to live in dreams and continue her services with the household and other activities for the sake of the family. I can’t say it as sexual frustration but as sexual violence. Every Human is a social animal but not every human is a wild animal to go to this level.

Is it because of the Age factor? We are not stopping any guys not to get married earlier. Yes Child marriage is not legal.

Now the guys are so much matured and responsible that they don’t want to get into any commitment before they get settled in their profession and to manage the personal life. Even the girls are not interested to get in to the well at early 20’s and they don’t want to delay it to late 20’s as well.Both the sex prefer to get into the wedlock when they feel that it is time for them to start their new phase of life. So no one is forcing them, it is their choice to be single. If it is so then there should not be a chance for the Rape.

Why this Nirbaya or the other cases come out is because of the way she was tortured, brutal assault and she was struggling for her life-like anything. As said by the accused, she was fighting as much as she could avoid the rape. In all other cases, the victims surrenders themselves knowing that they can neither fight against these scoundrels or with the society after the incident.

I don’t wish this to happen to anyone even in my wildest dream but just for the sake of this discussion, if it happens to us or someone in our own family, would we be able to treat it as an accident and get on with life as before? Is it possible for us to recover from that situation to normal without any agony?

What will I do, if I am a victim of rape?

Either I have to stand up and shout or I have to keep quiet and live as a normal life.

At first instance itself I will fail because the man who prepares his mind for a rape is stronger than the woman and she is not aware of the things that is going to happen in her life. In this case woman will not be mentally prepared to fight and physically it is not possible to fight against the man who comes to her fiercely. when it is more than one man, she will be thinking that one will help her to save herself from the cruel act, without knowing that there is no Krishna in that group. It is like a goat fighting with ferocious lion. Lions will succeed anyway.

Now the question what will be going around that moment in my mind is whether to surrender with this lion or to get killed every second by the people around me, the so called society?

Assume that I am a rape victim, what will be my husband’s reaction? Will he treat me like before? Will he have the mind frame that it is not an intentional incident or betrayal by me? Do I have the option of having a normal life with him? Will he be ever happy again with me? Even if he tries to what is the society that is going to offer us? Even if the rape happens in front of his eyes, he will not be able to accept me as like before. This is the mind-set of our guys and we all are bound slaves of our society. I will not say that all husbands are stone-hearted or they don’t care about their wives. It is how the society accepts the rape victims.

Will my brother consider me as like before, will he be able to take me with him to a movie or to a temple?

What will be my father’s reaction towards me? How my sisters will react to the situation? what about their social statuses and how difficult it is to get a groom for them or for anyone to play a role in the society as a normal human?

Forget about how they handle me, everyone will start feeling themselves as if they were raped and they will start hiding them as if they are the victim of that rape. It is not only one person getting raped, but also the entire family gets into turmoil.

What about the extended family and I call each and every friend of mine as extended family? Do you think all my friends will welcome me with two hands as they are doing now?

Only person who will be with me all the way through will be my mother, but she will not live for long after knowing this incident as she will not be able to digest it. She would have dealt with me like the mother who did in the movie Sila nerangalil Sil manithargal of Jeyakanthan (again Lakshmi as Heroine).

If at all I was raped, then ideally as a common woman, I will keep quite only. It was my inability to protect myself from one or more guys and it is not my fault and it is the gender bias provided by god. Especially when you are in your teens, the way your body is built is not to fight and it will not have enough strength to fight.

A guy of 35 years who needs to satisfy his physical needs or society insult/arrogance with a young girl of 14 or 19 years will succeed in his attempts quite easily. When the girl tries to fight, then she will be harassed, stuck brutally and she has to undergo lot of problems.

When a girl becomes a victim without even knowing that she is going to be a victim has to surrender only rather than fighting this huge devil. Most of the rapes happens in this manner only. Girls surrender and they don’t disclose this to anyone.

Does it mean a guy is always superior than a female? Yes in this matter, because the pain and shame or whatever it is only for me not for the guy who has done it. When a guy becomes a wild animal, he is stronger than the woman. 

If at all I survive as a rape victim, I am supposed to keep quite without informing this to anyone – this means I should have a very strong heart and I am ready to fight this world with my own conscience. Only those who have gone through that trauma will know it. A movie by SP Muthuraman, Mayangukiral Oru Maadhu will say how difficult it is for a female to be a victim. (even though it is not a rape). It requires lot of physical and mental strength in woman to continue her life.

I am bold, brave, courageous, different, extrovert, friendly, outspoken, but what will I do?

I will not be able to say the truth even to one individual because if I say it out to one person, then it is not a secret and I have to struggle always with the person to whom I confessed. I have to live in a fear that when the other person will let it out.

What are the normal thing I have to hear if I share that I am a victim of a rape? The below listed are the talks which will come to my ears every now and then. It is not only for me, the entire family needs to listen to all the crap.

Girl who is extrovert will always have this possibility of getting raped.

A woman like you invites rape by venturing alone going in the dark. I am forced in so many ways, I am a divorcee, I am a widow, I am still single, I am mother of two children without husband, I am wife of handicapped husband, I am struggling for the sake of my family, I am the woman who needs to have her self-respect.

I am forced to go because of various situation, for my survival and I will not travel in the night time to get raped. If so, probably I would have chosen the other profession which is calling the rapist to come to me and we name them as a prostitute.

You cannot control on your own safety when the other person comes to you as a wild animal and what others do? I am not trying to invite someone to help me in the midnight.

Girls who dress with decently, don’t get raped. What else you want to wear a jeans and T-shirt or kurta is not enough for me to feel comfortable as decent? What about the woman getting raped who wears a traditional salwar or a saree as her dress?

Dress is not the matter for the guy who wants to rape a girl. It is the need of that particular time and a small wrong gesture from the girl also can initiate it to rape. Ideally if a woman is half naked also the guy is supposed to protect her not to rape her. You don’t need to give respect to that half naked woman, but give respect to yourself for what you are and you ought to be.

There is no such thing which can describe the character of a woman to get raped and it is the matter of the mindset of the guys and I don’t say all are wild.

It is the matter of maturity that needs to be brought in to the guy’s life. It is not the question of how the girl needs to be, it is time for the guys to know that girls are not for their sexual treasure without their concern.

If we see the few incidents that are reported in the recent times as sexual harassment or anything against women are being done when the so called women are submissive, dressed properly. Some are being kidnapped and brutally raped.

GUY’s It is not about what and who we are; it is about who YOU are. You don’t need to treat us equally but don’t try to show that you are super power by creating rape victims. Let your gestures make the girls to fall for you rather than going behind them or chasing them.

I really feel for the Nirbaya case because if it was happened in my house, I would not have let it to come out. I will not feel outraged or emotional or feeling sentiments. I would rather prefer to die than to get exposed so many times in different ways for someone else mistake.

Getting accused for thy mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Just Remember the Movie Damini (Hindi) which was remade in  Tamil as Priyanka will depict the condition of the victim and it is not a film, it is the current situation of the women in India. This movie was pictured in early 1993 and I remember that I saw this movie in 1994. Now in 2015, I am writing that the status of the woman is same.

For sure, this movie would have come of late with lot of such rapes happened in the society over two decades ago. If that is the situation of today’s India, what are we doing or heading towards women liberalization? There is no improvement for the women’s life and there is no social security provided by the constituency.

We have seen 4-5 elections and nothing changed. In a month I hear that 5 victims news happened in the capital city which has come to lime light.

GUYS be like a gentleman, if you don’t know the meaning, please learn it from your mother, may be your father failed to show it to you at home. There are some psychological needs are there for men and they get aggravated easily because of their psychological issues.

For some the family itself could be a problem, for some the family could have abandoned them for their characters. Some are illegitimate children without knowing their identity. I am not blaming all guys are bad and not saying that all girls are very good.

Have you ever heard any guys getting molested in public or getting harassed by girls? 

Here and there, this will also be there but within friends circle, they will be giggling or making fun not with an intention to insult you. Even if someone insults you in public, taking revenge on a woman doesn’t going to solve this issue. Any assault done by you to a woman is going to harm you and your family reputation as well. It is not only create the woman as a victim, but you as  accused and as Convicted.

Law will take it’s own time, but your family gets insulted for no reason. Just before doing any atrocities against woman count from 1 to 100 and think your family, your mother, sister, daughter in that woman for whom you are going to do the harm. I am sure that you guys will protect her and will not try to harass her.

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Vidya Balan-National Award -The Dirty Picture

“The Dirty Picture”

To be honest, I wanted to see the movie just because it is a story about a south Indian artist and in the same time I was not happy to see the movie “The Dirty Picture“ because it was the story of the late actress “Silk Smitha”. I was not convinced that someone can do her character just like that…. And this movie is all about the story of a female who was like a rebellion in the film industry. I will tell her as a rebellion and a youngster will say as transformation or change.

The iconic actress was not considered as a heroine at any point of time, but considered equally to a heroine, and she was very famous for her dance numbers, bold performances in exposing herself to great extent. Whatever we see as a trend in the recent days in the film industry happened in her era and I will say that it started with her entry into the film industry.

There is nothing much to talk about the story of Silk Smitha as it is a known fact that she was performing item dance. When I curse the current cinema trend because of our heroines who comes with dresses which are smaller than the kids or even the kids dress will be more costly compared to the heroines (maybe that’s the reason we don’t get any movies based out of kids), I have to curse Silk Smitha as well because she was the trend setter.

To the fact, Silk knew what she was doing and whatever she has done, she has done it with core perfection. Silk Smitha was very bold and she was very different from others and the way she created the niche for herself was awesome with item numbers. Even though I scold her or blame her as a threat for decent movies, when I pen this I will be the first one love to see her songs in our TV Channels. Especially the songs from Adutha vaarisu Pesa koodadhu with Rajini kanth and Neengal Kettavai (Adiyea Manam nillu na) (written especially for her). I will say that she is the great item dancer in India and she will be the only one who would have got so much crazy fans. Silk knew her audience, and it didn’t seem like anything would stop the fiercely ambitious actor.

Silk Smitha was an actress whose body was used successfully by the film industry to maximize their profits. And now even after her death the movie “The Dirty Picture” that is a film on her life has done well at the box-office. Her songs were there in almost all the hero’s movies and mostly with all the top stars of her era.  Many can say that her body got exposed but there was an artist in that body and no one could recognize it or groom it in a way what she would have dreamt. I am sure she would have faced so many problems in this industry and for survival reason, she would have opted this as a tool. Her acting prowess did not go completely unnoticed and in her rare non-sexual roles, she has impressed many women fans as well. She has got an extra ordinary talent to cover majority of the audience to her side.

People can adore her for so many reasons, but I really saw her movies in a different way, how this female survived in this industry for so many years, I don’t find any great charm in her, but she has something in her. She was not beautiful compared to other heroines. Silk was not fair, she didn’t have had a toned body, yet men dreamed about her. I know many women were crazy.

She used to look too good in all the costumes and she has done a great job in all the movies without exposing much like the current trend. In spite of all these I strongly had a feeling that no one in the film industry can do her story and it could have be done better only by her. It’s not an easy thing to get so comfortable with your body in front of a camera. I feel that the desire in her to excel in this industry was more than anything for which she was ready to do anything to the core.

In fact the why I was not interested to watch this movie in a cinema hall was I know that this movie will have only dirty in it. I can’t watch this movie with my fellow colleagues or with my friends. I decided not to it watch in Cinema hall, when the movie got released and I have to watch it alone. I got a chance to see this movie two days back.

Before I pen about Vidya Balan, I would like to think from the producer point of view. Ekta Kapoor and Shobha kapoor. Silk’s story is sad and everyone knows about the story. Guts of the producer was awesome, after seeing the movie, nobody knows whether this is the real story of Silk Smitha or not, but the way it promoted by them was very special. They used the charm of the deceased actress.  There are too many stories of “love failure” and related suicides happened in the film industry and the producer has not taken those stories. There is a saying that bold is always beautiful and Silk was bold, Producers of the movie was bold, and the super actor Vidya Balan was bold enough to take up this role. And it has made a BBBBig Hit for them.

None other than silk can get this hype as a dance number in this industry to get this much crowd. She still lives in the heart of all the Indians and that is what she has achieved with her 17 years of exposure in this film industry.

Not only the name, the way pictured is also dirty. Up to me the story of the movie is Rajat Arora’s writing skill. I will not say that this is better dialogue or this one is best, all the dialogues in this movie are best. I loved the outrageous dialogues. Dialogues were not very good but that was essential for this kind of movie. The story runs on the dialogues which was the major plus. Dialogues were very strong and I love to watch the movie once more for the best dialogues (we can’t expect the 1980’s trend and obviously this will have many double meanings because the movie talks about dirty but the skill of the writer was impressive, he can’t do better than this for such a kind of movie). A sample of the dialogue was ”public samaan dekhti hai, dukan nahi”,  “tuning karengea tabhi toh band bajega” and the best was the journalist to say silk as “you are a real hero” and in some scenario’s she will tell Silk don’t think and you will lose your track if you start thinking. When silk was seeing her downfall, the same journalist feeling for her saying I told na, don’t think what you have done?  Is Silk a Vamp or a victim? The way Vidya Balan along with Emraan Hashmi dialogues need to be appreciated and those are simply superb dialogues…

Timely dialogues were extra ordinary and mind-blowing. Either the shameless dialogues or the touching dialogues, writer deserves a big round of applause. If nothing impresses someone in this movie, I am sure then the dialogues surely will impress.

Next is the music in this movie is awesome… Ooh Lala and the famous nakka mooka song played in regular intervals and which really was making the audience to enjoy the flow of the movie. Re-recording is splendid.

Emraan Hashmi, Naseerudin Shah and all others they have done their best. We will not talk about all these as they have done their usual roles.

Let us go to Vidya Balan, by winning the National Award “The Dirty Picture” has something in it. I felt that I have to watch this movie.  I would not have seen this movie, if this national award was not given to her. What is that great in this movie to win a national award? It is a known story for the south Indians. Being a south Indian and I will not feel happier to see a story of a female who was said to be hot, hotter and hottest of the film industry.

Vidya Balan, name sounds me very familiar because she is a south Indian. I don’t remember that I have seen her earlier movies. Why this kolaveri not to see this movie, because I have seen Silk Smitha movies on-screen. It is really tough to do the performance done by her and how a heroine can do a role of an item girl who is on top of all the hero’s as well.

In general Vidya Balan is a beautiful female and a typical heroine who has the caliber to do some beautiful roles and a real cameo compared to Silk Smitha wherein she has not got that great physic of Silk Smitha. Silk smitha’s eyes will talk, her body will speak…

Vidya Balan has enough guts to do this movie, if this movie was done by a heroine who is of in the age group between 20 and 25 then I would have felt that the heroine doesn’t know much about the great actor Silk Smitha.  Vidya is not in that age group and being a 34 year old female, she would have known how the movies of Silk smitha were and she would have definitely seen many of her movies or at least some dances.

Silk gave men sleepless nights. Silk is every woman’s wild side and yet she is soft where it matters,’ these were said by Vidya Balan in an interview about the character she played in the movie.

It is really a tough role for anyone to do as silk because to the world, Silk was the queen of entertainment and excitement to her fans but at heart; Silk was just another woman who desired for a true love. Vidya Balan, has done the role to her best with her glamour as well as with fantastic expressions.

Can Vidya do justice to the movie or to the character of Silk? Yes she has done remarkably well, especially as Reshma and the transformation of Reshma to a super actor Silk. She has got high talent to do this role, but exposed to great extent which was not done even in Silk’s original movies. As the years have passed away, the glamour for Silk still exists. Even though we could not see Silk in Vidya Balan, but Vidya balan has proved to do the role of silk to the best of her knowledge. She has shown varieties in her acting. Vidya Balan tried to change herself as silk but still I was in a feeling that it was having the impact of the movie “Fashion” Priyanka Chopra which also talks about the iconic people and their downfall.

It’s a high class performance by Vidya and I feel that it is a well-deserved than a more satisfying film.  The film industry belongs to the heroes and it is very evident that the story goes on about a heroine. Vidya Balan first 30 minutes is interesting and she gave a thrilling experience with the scene when she was being interviewed in a bathtub or, covered in soap suds and little else, or tasting the cake from the writer’s cheek, or whipping herself into an eagerness to become an actor and the expressions shown by her in a song which was really the best efforts by an actor.

There are many situations in the film where Vidya has made everyone to catch their breath, with her complete audacity of expressions, verbal and visual. The dance on a new Maruti 800 to distract attention from a party she is not invited to. She kisses the brother to make the other one to feel jealous. When She eats sugar when is famished to keep her going. It is quite obvious that the deterioration into addiction will end in suicide.

Vidya has taken the powerful character in her hands and she proved to be a great actor and Vidya Balan succeeds in carrying the entire film in her shoulders, and can see a total remodeling her for the role of a bombshell in this movie. This movie is not a great film, an average film but she has made it as fearlessness character in the movie and all the credit goes to her for the way she has done her role.

I strongly feel that the Dirty Picture is not a full-fledged biography of Silk. It is just like light silver coat portrait of Silk, and it has sketched an outline with her story. But Vidya has given so much filminess, self-confidence and self-assurance for the outcome of the movie in a more breathtaking than it deserves to be. It is really a super hit because of the incredible performance by this super actor. Even though I appreciated the guts of the producer, dialogues but the real hero of the movie said to be Vidya Balan.

Vidya Balan has given a performance of a lifetime in this film. She has done so sharp with her character and never looked uncomfortable even when she was to deliver the hottest or the toughest or of scenes like to make love to a whip. She is the hero of the film and carries the film forward. I hope that she would have done a clear homework and rehearsed too many times for her scenes to make her character too real for comfort.

What makes all to watch this movie despite everything, the overheating; the overwriting is only because of Vidya Balan, who dares to do this movie whereas not many would try for such roles after giving some good performances and she proved that this is her film.

Vidya Balan’s expression and performance was really mind blowing and I don’t think anybody else could have done that role better, still Silk Smitha was missing. As far as acting is concerned, Vidya has done a fantastic job, she deserves the national award. Is this award given for Silk Smitha or for Vidya Balan is the question running in my mind?  There is a dialogue in the movie that movies are made for the people’s entertainment, entertainment, entertainment… yes Vidya Balan’s entertainment was excellent, excellent, excellent…