Tag Archive | Best Friend

இவர்களும் மனிதர்களா?

friend-end

தந்தையிடம் சொல்ல முடியாததையும்

தாயிடம் பகிற முடியாததையும்

சகோதரனிடமும், கணவனிடமும்

சொல்ல முடியாத விஷயத்தையும்

அனைத்தும் சொல்லிடுவாள்

நண்பன் அவனை

சகோதரனாக எண்ணிடுவாள்

இவனை தன் நண்பன்

ஆயுள் வரை நட்புடன்

இருந்திடுவான் என எதிர்பார்ப்பில்

துரோகியாக நண்பன்

மாறிடும் நிலை வராது எனும் நம்பிக்கையில்

தன் மனதில் உள்ளதை நண்பனிடம்

சொல்லிய மன நிம்மதியில் அவள்…

தனக்குள் இருந்த மனபாரம்

குறைந்தது எனும் திருப்தியில்.

துரோகியாக நண்பன் மாறிடுவான்,

ஒரு சிறு விரிசல்

அந்த நட்புக்குள் வரும் நேரம்

சகோதரனும் சாக்கடையாவான்

தந்தை என்றுச் சொல்பவனும்

சிந்தையில்லாது மாறிடுவான்

நட்பும் உடைந்து போகும்

சுயமில்லாமல் வருவது

ஒன்று மட்டுமே இந்த பூவுலகில்

அன்னை என்பவள் அரவனைப்பு மட்டுமே…

இவை அனைத்தும் இருப்பது

பேதை பெண்களிடம் மட்டுமே ! ! 

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Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

I am really amazed to see myself from the year 2009 to 2014… How I was in 2009? What kind of great changes in 2014? How is it possible?

I am not sure whether it is because of Arowana or because of my Age. One thing is for sure that I am working with a good employer and probably I can say as best employer for me.

Why is it a big deal for me to write about 5 years in a company? 

Only very few know with whom I am very close to from 1994, that I hate to continue in one company or in one stream and I will not be able to do a monotonous job.  My resume also will speak about my switching careers, but it is part of life, but somehow I wanted to stick with one company at least for 3 years. My patience level with most of the companies is 11 months and maximum was 19 months, I will learn and earn and leave the company. (not matured to serve the company)

I can say that whatever I learned, I utilized all my experiences with Arowana to stick with them for 5 years. Apart from Utilizing my own experiences, I learnt the art of patience from Arowana. I have to thank them for the way they have given me the opportunities. I have shown my attitude, arrogance as like others but when it is required to show my self-respect and not to damage the reputation of the company.

Now I know that I can’t beat this record of 5 years with any other companies as I don’t have that much patience to work for long time.

I remember how I joined Arowana and it was not a decision I made to stay here for 5 years. In an anger, I resigned from my previous employer. Initially I thought to take it as break. I was working continuously without any break. Due to the market situation/recession, I was forced to take a long break almost for 5 months and Arowana’s offer was the first one on my way while I was enjoying the break. I took it to give an end to my break, thinking that I will work for 3 or 6 months with them and I will switch over. That was the opinion provided by the friend who was with Arowana at that time.

Arowana might not be a ROSE flower to smell and enjoy the fragrance but it is not a cactus. If anyone is feeling it as a cactus, please find your way is what I will say as an employee of Arowana. No one is forcing you to hug a cactus for your survival and the more you are hugging, you will feel it as pain and create pain for others. We are the plants and we make it as a rose or cactus and I believe in it, I move with that belief.

From the day of joining, I know the people who are close to me, known to me who was working with arowana, left the organization and from other companies friends also left, but I never felt that I have to leave or even I have not given a try to find a job outside. Couple of years ago I tried with one of the company in India, and that was a trial to brush my skills to attend an interview.

4 years back one of my best friends who know me since 1995 asked me about my whereabouts in Skype, I told her that I am working with Arowana consulting and am into ERP Oracle practice from 2004. To her great surprise, she questioned me, how come you are still with Oracle, I thought by this time you would have switched to SAP/Siebel or out of IT.

After a short conversation with her, she asked how long you are with Arowana, Please change your company as soon as possible. I was surprised to hear this, because one side she was happy that I am into ERP for long time and she doesn’t want me to work with Arowana. She is like one of my best friend whose words are like bible for me, I will follow her.

But this time, I asked her the reason for it. She said, the reputation of the company is not good, the more you stay with them, you are going to lose your value. May be that is one of the reason for me to continue such long or what I don’t know.

I told her with a smile in my face, company’s reputation is based on the employees not based on the employers. Arowana does well means its employees are doing well and Arowana is doing worst or bad, then it means employees are not doing well.

Above all, I don’t have any issue with Arowana and I am happy to be part of it. I will not search a job as long as I am working with them. If I feel that I have to resign from Arowana, I will do it without even thinking for a minute, but as of now I am happy. Absolutely there is no issue with the company. She knows how I came out of Singapore, in 1996, I have thrown resignation on the Manager’s face for not approving the leaves and I am still proud of that act. But I will not do such thing for sure in future, you learn from your mistakes.

There are people who used to leave the organization without giving the notice period, without serving the notice period. We do have some hiccup issues but I can manage with it. I am thinking myself as an employer as I have faced these kind of heat and I know the difficulties of running an organization. If someone wants to leave for such reason, let them go and even I will say don’t stop them.

I don’t have any issues either with holding the passport (I hold my passport) or with the leaves or with the medical reimbursements or with any other thing for that matter. There is a delay but it is a known fact and even when I refer someone, I used to tell them all these as facts and if you wish, you can send your CV.

Whatever you are reading from the consumer complaints or any other social media are based on the individual employees reviews and comments. Everywhere it is same that when you are going to leave the organization, we have to see the hatred at both the ends. No Company is good in that matter. If at all I have to get relieved smoothly or for any other reason, I have to do the needful. Tomorrow I might have to face the heat but I am sure that I will not face like others or cry for that matter.

At times companies like TCS, Infosys sends a team out. Arowana has not gained any bad name of sending its employees. Here and there they would have asked one or two cases to leave based on some comments or feedbacks from their customers.

The reason for sharing the above incident is to say that WE ARE THE PILLARS of the company and without me spoiling the name of the company, it will not get spoiled. I am trying my best effort not to harm my reputation and I expect the fellow Arowanites to do the same. At least for the salary what you get (even delayed, but still you are getting it), be sincere and faithful for what you are getting today from your employer.

Today on the day of completing 5 years, I can proudly say that I have got increments with my employer and I am happy with what I have got. The last increment was not satisfying but I don’t complain or crimp about it because it was done across the organization in the similar manner. I cannot demand more as I know what is the revenue that I am generating for the company. Apart from my Salary there are other components which needs to be considered and the profit margin will be less. I am an employee only, I don’t need to consider it, I can change my job. Yes no one is stopping me or Arowana is also not saying that “Dont Go” If I have something better than this, they will be happy to send me.

In one of the clients place, a CFO during the course of our conversation once said that Arowana has not done it properly and I asked him to repeat it, he said I have high respect for you, but Arowana has not done it well. I told him politely that whatever you are saying as Arowana implies only to me as I am representing AROWANA and how can you contradict with your statement?

In the Same Company, CEO has said that Arowana has got the best employees whereas I have not get the best.  When I heard that I am very proud of Arowana and not of that Company.

Every client will throw the bone pieces to its contract employees by saying that you will be offered here in our own payroll. When I was given the bones from the couple of the clients of Arowana,  I told them, am not a fool to join this company, which means I am at a better place.

Couple of days back, I got the chance to visit the client, one guy asked me, how is your career growth in Arowana, I said I am satisfied with my growth. When I shared my experiences, he said it is marvelous.

I always used to say that I am at a better place and if at all I wish to join some customers, I will do it on own not against Arowana. It is not an ethic to join their clients without their concern and also I love consulting. If I wish to leave consulting, then also I will get the other choices from Arowana. That is the belief and faith what an employee should have with their employers. Whether they guide me or they ask me the option I leave it to the situations.

Whether the career growth is measured in terms of money or position or the knowledge, then I am getting wise, wiser and wisest with the opportunities provided by my employer.

I may not use this knowledge after 5 years, but I will be using it for the next 5 years J

I am not a mouth piece of Arowana or I don’t have any share with Arowana Management , I am one like you who is waiting for the salary to come on expected date, waiting for the appraisals to happen and so on. I will also get the same treatment when I am going to leave the organization, but I give respect to my Employer, at least till the day I work for them. It doesn’t mean that I can write bad about the company for whom I served for so long.

As per the saying, Don’t love your company, I love my job and I don’t love my Employer but I give respect to my Employer for providing the basement for me to love my job.

When you are satisfied and content with your life, you can see happiness in anything and everything

Don’t compare a company which is in growing stage with the grown companies. If everyone opts only for MNC’s, how can we have many more MNC’s? In few years we will have some changes in Arowana also, but before that everyone will do the damage and leave the organization for their own benefits. If that is the case, then how a company can show its prosperity?

I know that I have learned in my learning path much ahead of the MNC’s. MNC’s Can utilize these skills but they can make us to learn what I have learned from Arowana.

What I sow is what I will reap and I want to be at peace. I am contented with what I have and I am happy with my employer. You can see lot of changes in me, both physically (Glowing because I am always happy), professionally I am growing matured (I have not raised my hands or voice at any one in the last 5 years)

My SAD – Miss you

This is a special thank you for the one whom I lost without knowing the reason…

Thank you for entering my life. Thank you for being Unique. Yet one more day thinking that you are not far away from me.

thinking-u

I used to tell you when I used to miss during the weekends or during our vacations that missing you makes me to feel more love for you. I don’t know may be because of that only you left me forever to love you more and more.

When we lose our loved one in the name of death, it is painful, but when we lose the dearth one without knowing the reason is more painful.

Many May come and Many may go, but the way I miss you can’t be measured by words. I keep myself so busy and I love two more like you, but still the pain in my heart is so much. I don’t think it can be repaired by anyone. I have one who will make me so happy with her presence and the other is like my Shakti, who will bring in all the powers even at the time of my deadly hours.

There is a saying that if someone hurts in the name of love, we need the same person as medicine.  I tried different medicines, but the pain of missing you is increasing rather than reducing. I tried to find my peace with a Sorry message, immediately, your sorry greeting card came into my life. I shared it in my Facebook wall and everyone started asking me to whom you are saying sorry, I was not able to tell them that this is a lovely sorry I got from you without knowing the reason for it.

There are some people who come for a reason and who leaves without any reason only. But your entry in my life has shown me a new phase in my life.

Life is as usual beautiful but if you are there in my life then it is the most beautiful place in this earth. As you have become my world, I am unable to search where you are as the place doesn’t matters, but the person matters.

will not return-stil waiting

Few of my friends asked me, do you still wish her and think about her?

Just because we don’t talk doesn’t mean that I hate her or I don’t care about her. I do care about her and love as I did before.

Do you think she reads your blog?  For sure, I know she will read it. If so, she would have responded to your messages, love or at least a word to know about you. It is not that she hates me, even if she hates me, she will read my blog and she will know that I am good, that is enough for her. As the way I say that I love her, she will also.

Sometimes, we forgive people simply because we still want them in our life, I want her in my life, if not as she was, at least as my dream daughter. I love her the most for making me to feel the most precious love of life. I have got all the happiness only because of that feeling what I got it through her. Only the doors of her heart is closed, but not the doors of my heart. I can’t knock it, but she has all the rights to break mine.

We don’t need communications through words. I am doing it to show it to her, even I wish to hear from her, but when I don’t get any news about her, god shows it to me in my dreams.

You will not believe also that I miss you more and more… now a days I dream a lot about you. What is a big thing in dreams? I am a day dreamer and I will not dream when I am asleep, but now you are coming in my dreams when I am in my deep sleep. It is new for me.

You know the way you came in my dream and told that I am going to be in Abu Dhabi. I was walking very fast in a Mall, suddenly I felt that I saw you and there was an eye contact with you, I came back to see is it you, yes it was you and there was drop of tears in your eyes and suddenly I got up from the sleep with tears in my eyes. It looks cinematic, but it is fact that I saw the tears in your eyes.

I don’t know whether this dream will become true or not, but I wish it to happen. I miss you the same way I was missing you in 2012 my dear SAD. Is it possible for you to make me SMILE once again ? Will this year 2015 bring that SMILE back in my Life?

Best Day- Part 2

Best Day by my Malabar – Part 2 (April 27th 2012)

“True friendship is felt, not said.”

As said in the previous content, my day started very good and it was very pleasant with my best friend. As the sun continued to shine, my day was also very bright as like the sun. As the day ends, sun was about to set my happiness and the feeling of a good day also started to come down because of my friend Malabar who made to feel very bad of my some childish behavior.

When I was with my best friend, I called Malabar in a feeling that she should not miss me, as her time goes around me and I used to be with her all through the day. It is not only I don’t want her to miss me, but also I don’t want to miss her as well.

No Day is a bad day as long as we feel that it is bad. The day was too good and suddenly Malabar made me to feel that the day was about to end badly for me.

I will try to make sure that people around me or those who are constantly in touch with me don’t miss me and she is my close friend. How can I make her to feel sad or to miss me? I called her and we had a good chat for some time, but suddenly this female misunderstood something. She neither called me back nor did she try to ping me. She didn’t respond to my pings as well.

As the time passed in my best friend’s house, I said bid adieu with heartfelt thanks to my best friend, but mind was around this Malabar.

As soon as I came down from my friends flat, I called my sweet stupid friend to find out what is she doing? We had a chat over phone for more than an hour but still she didn’t say anything that she was feeling bad.

I reached my sweet home and started to ping her in blackberry, and slowly my close friend started saying that she felt bad for something and she asked me why did you call me from your best friend’s house? To be honest, I was shocked because this friend is not like others she knows my pulse, she knows my vein, what am I feeling, what I will say and what I will do. I never expected that she will misunderstand me. She has got that maturity to understand me to great extent. Initially I thought she wanted me to spend my time with my best friend. So I was not feeling bad about it. I didn’t feel that she misunderstood something.

I don’t know how you got confused with my love for you. “Don’t confuse people who are always around for the people who are always there”

Malabar, I don’t want to say about my friendship to you and neither have I needed you to know from my words. “True friendship is felt, not said.” I know your friendship and what it means to me. You also know what you mean to me. When we know each other intensely, do we need this misunderstand? Good or bad feeling also depends on our mindset only. If you feel that your friend does something purposely to hurt you, it is your belief and you will be right in your belief and if you feel that your friend will not hurt you even when there is a chance for her to hurt you, this is also your belief. Don’t feel for something which is not in your control.

Love is pleasant as well as painful, we need it more when we get it more for pleasant. We feel a pleasant pain when it is shared with others in front of us. I used to feel it when my mother shares her love with my own sisters or with her sisters. I can understand your feeling, but how you failed to understand my feeling for you?

I know the reason but I didn’t expect this to be a reason from your end. If it is with the other friends, I would have handled it very harshly. But I can’t do this to you because you are my sweet youngest friend. I take your age as compliment for you to do this mistake with me. Please never ever compare yourself with others.It is like doing injustice to ourselves.

You are what you are and there is no change and don’t expect the changes in me for our friendship. I will have 1000 more friends in my life but each of them is unique and they have their own places. All depends on what they give. I don’t keep anything with me, I return it to them 100 folds. If you show me your love, I will show it 100 times more than what I get from you. I show the hatred also in the same 100 folds. I don’t keep anything with me either its love or hatred, I return it back with interest 🙂.

“I hope we’ll be friends forever, together we’ll always be. I don’t think you understand just how much you mean to me. And one day when we part our ways, we’ll think back to the past and think about how happy we are ’cause our friendship will always last.”

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.”  –Psalms 16: 11

Somehow she felt bad and good that she shared it with me, otherwise I would not have felt that she misunderstood my feeling for her. It was little childish from both the ends and I will try to avoid such situations in future.

By the time, we were clearing our misunderstanding, another friend of mine called me for a program organized by the local Tamil association. We will not miss any of these occasions as we have more time to spend on these kinds of programs when we are away from our place. When I met my friend last week in the Carnatic music concert, I scolded her for not calling me. I forgot this program totally and was not in a mood to go. When my friend called me, I thought I will go and make me relax and let me make my day pleasant. Somehow I told her that I am not coming for that program as Malabar’s misunderstanding was running through my mind. I will not feel comfortable or my concentration will not be there in the program.

I was really upset because I did it in a feeling to make her happy and she got hurt because of my stupidity. I was not able to relax or forgive me for what I have done. Undoubtedly it is a hurt because she misunderstood. I was not able to make her feel that it is to make her happy. We discussed for more than an hour and explained her why I need to call her and she also accepted that it is just a misunderstanding and it is not as she felt. But the scar remained in both of us.

“It’s the best feeling in the world when you meet new friends and you feel you can’t stand to be without them. You are not a new friend to me, now we know each other and we don’t need to impress each other to show our likes dear. You have given me a hope every day that you won’t leave me. You can’t think about anything else but when you’re going to see them again.”

We both wanted to see each other, as we felt that this feeling of bad will stay till the time we meet. I personally don’t want the gap to spoil our moods of a good/great day.  Normally weekends we will be missing each other and this week this misunderstanding gave us a chance to meet each other. She was planning to roam around some mall and I asked her to come to the mall nearby my residence, so as I can meet her and clarify her in person and to make the day as usual a very good day.

She reached the mall and I was in deep confusion and was personally upset with her as well as with other things. I was not in a mind-set to meet her with her family members when I was upset especially upset because of her. But she made me to meet her and it was really a pleasant memory for me. I met her elder brother, baabi, younger brother and youngest sister all together and I was feeling so comfortable to move with them.  I would have been with her for more than 2 hours and I made her to feel so bad in the first few minutes with my stupid questions but still she remained cool and in full control and made my day in a great way.

Thanks for the pleasant night dear, it is not so easy to make a family to feel comfortable with a stranger and a stranger to feel comfortable with your family. You did it and I know how much I mean to you. The way you would have discussed about me would have made them initially to feel that who is that crazy female who has taken the most of her time? Later, with the impression given by you would have made them to feel to see me. Finally we were able to feel comfortable because of the way you have discussed about them with me as well.

Whatever you do, you have a style in it and you have proved in this as well.  Over all I felt that day was great to me.

“The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family.”

Malabar

Betting More Pain than Profit

Bet for What

Again the bet was on cricket. We were watching an IPL match and I think it was between Deccan Chargers and Kings XI.

Ishant Sharma was the bowler for Hyderabad bowling to Punjab team. He bowled a ball and the batsman hit it and the ball straight to the fielder, caught but it was a no ball and the batsman got a life to play again.

Our bet was on this who was the batsman.

As I saw the match from Kitchen, I was impressed to see that the catch on a no ball. Out of interest, I went to the hall to see the replay. I really missed the replay as well, but when I saw I noticed Gilchrist was saying no for the run. And the commentator was saying Ishant Sharma has given a free hit to Gilly.

During the time we didn’t talk about this at all. After sometime one more friend joined us and we were discussing that Gilly will get the man of the match or Paul will get the man of the match.

In the few of the IPL matches, batsman who got the dropped chances, won the MOM. So I said it will be Gilly.

Based on the above assumptions, I said that the batsman who got the life was Gilly and Mr.X  immediately asked for the bet, saying that it is Paul Valthaty.

Since I agreed he said the bet amount as 5000 Dirham’s. I told him I can bet even for 50K

I too agreed for the bet as I know Mr.X more as a Muslim guy than as a normal person. In ISLAM gambling is Harram which was told by his wife during the same cricket season late last year. She can’t say like this. How did she say it???

I strongly felt that this bet is just for fun. I had that much confidence on Mr.X that It is for fun only.

The time to see the replays came and I found that I lost the bet, I saw the happiness in the face of Mr.X  as like anything. I have not seen his face happiness when his wife delivered a baby or for any other reason like that.

Soon after winning the betting, Mr.X called his wife and told her about this. To my surprise, she asked him to send 1000 Dirham’s to her to celebrate this. Now I realized that I made a mistake by agreeing to this bet, and I have not shown it outside.

I gave the money. He moved his head sideways saying no but I gave it to him. but he did not say that it is Harram and also I have seen the happiness in his face on winning this bet. I wanted to say him that I agreed for this bet as I know that it is Sin for Muslims. He was flying and was not able to listen what I was about to say also. May be he wanted me to feel or trying to play with me.

Even after giving the money I smiled and was talking to them happily without showing my pain. After sometime I went to my room. I was feeling that I made a mistake by accepting for the bet and I made him to do this SIN. Next day I got up late as I slept only in the morning due to tiredness and I was not able to see Mr.X.

As soon as I came to office, I called my friend to sell the car in India. I know I have to face some more losses but keeping the car is not going to help me and I need money badly to make the last payment to the builder.

Mr.X called me around 12.30P.M and it went on a missed call. I called him back. How things are?? This will be his first frequent question which he used to put every day. I said going on well and came for a free health check up. Immediately he said your BP will be high now. Unknowingly he said that but  my BP was normal only.Amount is little heavy but I will not die if I don’t have that money or for that money sake I will not spoil my health. I

I work very fast when it is money, because there can be minor loss but it should not ruin our life.

And then he asked me where shall we go for the party? That was a real turbulent for me and I was having a very good impression for this man till that minute. But this question really shattered me like anything.  I told him upfront that I am not going to join for this and you can go and have a party.  Even after 12 hours of losing the bet, I have not shared this news with anyone. But after his call I felt like, I have to show my pain out because I got so hurt  and I realized that I lost big money after the call.

I told some of my friends about this story and all of them scolded me, how can you bet for such a silly thing and this is the height of stupidity. I told this to Sashi as well, who is like one more person with whom I would have gone for these kind of Betting. A strong feeling again that he would not have touched that money, as he knows the value of the hard-earned money. Also He knows how we struggle to save. I am writing this just as a confession and to tell my lovable people (Mom, Geetha, Mahesh and Family) that I made a mistake but still it is okay, I will be little careful from now onwards and I am with heavy heart and it will take little time for me to recover from this.

Sashi was not able to scold me or react as like others as he felt that already I am mentally upset and not to scold and make me feel more, but I asked him to scold me so as I will feel relaxed because I have not discussed this with my Mother and also with very good friends around me, who can’t take it lightly as I have taken it.

I shared this with one more friend Imtiaz from Saudi who is really close to me via Gtalk. Imtiaz is a friend with whom I used to feel comfortable sharing all my sorrows. We know each other with our plus and minuses. He heard this entire story and told silently because of this reason don’t come to a conclusion that ISLAM is bad. There is nothing in religion and please don’t judge ISLAM with this experience. Don’t judge the person by its ACTION and OUTLOOK and don’t judge the RELIGION with a person and his Action and outlook.

Imtiaz tried to make me feel relaxed. I was feeling ok till the time we were chatting. But night was sleepless night. He tried to say, I can feel your pain. If I lose one Riyal, I know the pain, because it is hard-earned money.

Sashi did not scold me but questioned me like why did you give the money? And he took the money from you? I was feeling so happy for the friendship what you had with Mr.X & Family. Finally it has come to an end with this betting.  Is it required? You lost a very good relationship because of this betting.

Some what I felt discomfort from that minute of the call. My brain started working so fast.

I have to recover this loss as early as possible.

How to recover the loss of Rs.60000 ???

1.      Shift the house nearer to the office.

2.      Don’t go home for another 3-4 months

3.      Or go for sharing a room with someone

4.      Go on vacation for a month and take all your belongings so as I can save one month rent in Abu Dhabi and I can recover half immediately.

Few things came into mind after the call were

I could have bought two Samsung Galaxy mobiles

I could have used that money for 5 trips to India

I could have used to repay my loan one month in advance etc.,

On that day, when I reached room, I was not able to see X’s face at all; I purposely avoided coming out of my room. Also which was really a pain for me because I feel that flat as my home and I have not considered it as my staying place. I was not able to sleep peacefully for the second night and this night was literally one of the worst nights in my life.

Only one question was in my mind that how can a person call for a party? Bet was not to give party. In fact the other friend asked me to give a party; I questioned him for what party. After seeing this how a person could ask this to me?

Hiding continued and I was totally feeling that I have to shift the house immediately. I have asked my friends to find a place also. I was thinking how to inform Mr.X or to convey that I am going to shift my residence.

I was in that flat very happily. I have seen some good and bad days in my day-to-day life. But even in sickness or any unhealthy atmosphere, I have not felt that I am losing my peace or happiness. After all we live to live happily not to suffer because of some unworthy things.

Some sufferings will bring happiness, that’s fine and this suffering is really imprudent.

Next day evening when I returned from office, I met Mr.X near the lift. Normally if we meet, we will greet and then we will leave. On that day, I was thinking to talk to him that I am going to shift the residence and was thinking how he will take it etc.,

When I saw him, I was not able to see or even smile at him as the pain was to a great extent. I know that he will be going for the prayers but I didn’t expect to meet him there.

I left the place without reacting to his greetings. I went inside my room and I felt the room where I am staying for the last 16 months started hating it. I thought that if I stay in that house for one more month, I will die of heart attack. I tried to cool myself but my pain was getting more and more and I was not ready to cool down.

Mr.X came back after prayers. Immediately he knocked my room and asked me to come to hall. I told him, I will come after sometime. He asked me to come immediately and gave the money back. I asked him what for you are returning. He said I think you misunderstood that I took the money as betting money, I kept it as Rental Advance only. If that is the case why you are returning? And he said you take now, I will take it later.

I took the money back but still I was not convinced. I felt our friendship like a broken glass. Even if we try to make all the pieces together, it will lose its originality and even Imtiaz also said the same when I told him that I got the money back.

The reason for sharing this as an experience is “it is really good experience for me and I learned too many things out of this experience”.

I may be wrong in judging a person, but I know where the mistake was. I should have seen the match inside my room. When Mr.X said that Uma will not go for betting, I should have accepted it and said even now I will not go for betting.

Before losing this bet, I know the pain of others by seeing them or feeling myself on their shoes, but I felt like a disaster when it happened with me. Of course I never felt this kind of pain when I used to think about problems as mine. I can learn from others mistake. But there are chances of committing the same mistake. But now, I will not go for betting anymore in my life. That is the special of learning from your own mistakes.

When I used to feel about the gamble in Mahabharata, I used to feel how god can give this kind of things happening. Instead of saying if you do this, you will face this problem, he can directly say don’t do this.

I started correlating the activities of my sacred books now. I learned the biggest lesson from Mahabharata after this betting. Yes if I read don’t do this, I will say I will do this and let me see what happens.

Now I feel that I have to read the Sacred books in the way it is written instead of doing my personal analysis on it. And finally to conclude, whatever happened is not for good but it was to happen.

When I wrote the above as what ever happened immediately my mind recalled the Bhagavad Gita slogan only.

Whatever happened, it happened well.
Whatever is happening, it is happening well.
Whatever will happen, it will also happen well.
What of yours did you lose?
Why or for what are you crying?
What did you bring with you, for you to lose it?
What did you create, for it to be wasted or destroyed?
Whatever you took, it was taken from here.
Whatever you gave, it was given from here.
Whatever is yours today, will belong to someone else tomorrow.
On another day, it will belong to yet another.
This change is the law of the universe.

May be this is the time; I have to accept the change.

Thanks for your time.

Betting More Pain than Profit

My Best Friend

அம்மா அப்பானு செண்டிமெண்டா சொல்லனும்னா எல்லோருடைய வாழ்க்கையிலும், நாமும் நம் பிள்ளைகளை அவர்களைப் போல தான் வழி நடத்தி வருவோம் அதே மாதிரி தான் என்னோட அம்மாவும் செய்தால் என்று சொல்ல முடியாது, ஏன்னா நான் தவறு பண்ணிட்டேனு சொன்னா அதை ஏற்றுக் கொள்ளும் மன நிலையில் நான் இல்லைனுத் தெரிஞ்சுதானோ என்னமோ என்னுடைய அனைத்து பாதைகளையும் கடக்க தன் கையை எனக்கு ஊன்றுகோலாய் கொடுத்தால்…. அறிவுரை சொன்னால் கேட்கமாட்டேன் என அறிந்து, அடிப்பட்டுத் தெரிந்துக்கொள் ! ! அடிப்படும்போது ஆதரவாய் என்னை அரவனைத்து உனக்கு இது பட்டுதான் தெரிஞ்சுக்க வேண்டியிருக்குனு என்னைவிட பல மடங்கு வருத்தப்படுவாளே அதைப் பார்க்கும் நொடியில் என் வேதனைகள் பறந்து போகும் – வலிகள் என் அம்மாவிடம், பாடங்கள் என்னிடம்… அதே அம்மாவால் படிப்பு வேறு, இண்டலிஜென்ஸ் வேறு – யூ அர் பெஸ்ட் மை டியர்னு என்னை பாரட்டும்போது ஏற்படும் சந்தோஷத்தை – அடிபட்டு தாயின் அரவனைப்பில் உணர்வேன் – இதை எழுதும் தருணம் அவள் என்னருகே இல்லாத போதும்(distance does not matters ma) உணர்ந்தேன்… தாங்க்யூ ஃபார் யுவர் ஒண்டர்ஃபுல் சப்போர்ட்….. நீ இல்லாது இருந்தால் இந்த 34 வருடங்களைக் கடக்க முடியாமல் வாழ்க்கையில் தோற்றுப் போயிருப்பேன்….. இப்பவும் தோல்விகளை மட்டுமே கடந்து வந்து இருக்கிறேன் சக்ஸஸ்ஃபுல்லாய் உன்னுடைய சப்போர்ட்டில்….

இதைப் போல் இன்னுமொரு பதிவினில் என்னுடைய சக்ஸ்ஸையும் உனக்கு சமர்பணம் பண்ண இறைவனை வேண்டுகிறேன்….