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Happy Valentine’s Day

You make my life beautiful…..

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My goldie – when I say you as gold, I know for sure that I can’t buy you with what I have and I mean that you are really precious for me to hold and not to miss you for any reason as well. Most of the time we meet people by chance but meeting you and being with you is a choice given by you in a unique way. Especially when I was depressed with the way things were going around me. Being hurt by someone and being in love again with someone is not an easy task in anyone’s life, but even before coming out of the tragedy, you entered my life like a rocket and removed the sorrow of being hurt in your own way.

When I was about to lose my faith in love, you entered my life as a promising faith of love. Is it divine love? I don’t know what is divine love, but you are the most amazing love of my life. Success of my life is holding the love, but that success is holding you now as her strength of love. BE with me forever or leave me never or leave me when I leave this world.

Thank you for making that beautiful difference in my life..

You made me to feel that sharing everything is not as easy as I was thinking by sharing each and every small thing with me. It is really not possible for me to share in minute detail… only thing you have not told is that you breath 72 times for a minute and it is 80 now, it is less now 🙂

It is not a note to say thanks to you but I have to say thanks to you for making my life wonderful in so many ways especially managing my rudeness, my arrogant love, my adamant love for you. At times I used to think what is the purpose of life, now I know that my purpose of life is to love you and live for you. (Even thought we are not together, you live with me, I live with you and our every second goes together)

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I know our relationship doesn’t need any thank you’s but when we say thank you to each other, it really matters and this thank you means a lot to me baby because I owe that much to you my sweet darling.

I have thanked you on some special occasions; we both know it how special those moments are and the way it was said has got immense faith and love for you.  I have to thank you every day for the wonderful difference what you have given in my life and making my life so beautiful.  Life would have been so miserable without you and I mean this.. Thank you for making my days brighter and nights cooler as like you. I cherish every moment of our togetherness and wish it to go till my life ends.

Now we can’t imagine a life without each other and that is the reason that you are so special to me yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. I can’t imagine how life would have been if you have not entered my life.

I said I will get lot of wishes on this day, but today, when I am alone without you, I realize that your wishes only means a lot to me. I realize your importance and the difference what we have in our life. Without my thoughts there will not be single minute going for you and similarly all my time goes around you.

I really want to apologize for my arrogance and it is sincere apologies from the heart. I should not behave so violently/vehemently for the one who makes my day and night so lovely, beautiful, warm and cool. You are my sunshine and the moon light.

I have seen some good friend’s love, care in my life, but wish that this should be my best and forever love of life. I love you from you means a lot and when you say that I love you, only for you makes me to feel that I am blessed. I really love you is a delight to hear and the feeling of love is always on top of the sky and your love makes me to fly. 

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Happy Valentine’s Day for making my life the most beautiful …. I don’t think something else can come in my life to feel that is going to be beautiful as I feel that I am in heaven when we are together. I want to scream and say that I love you loosu naaye….

With ton’s love, with Eyes full of Tears, Heart full of Prayers comes a warm wishes for you to get well soon and to be with me forever and I promise you that I will be with you forever without breaking your heart.

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HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY MY LOVE

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Life after marriage

This is one subject which I was talking with my office colleague who was from a different country and more interestingly to other nationality to say that the life changes for a Girl in India after Marriage.

Marriage is not the unity of two bodies, but union of two souls as one with more care for each other, love for them, trust in them. Marriage changes drastically in both men and women, because they started to share their feelings for each other and start living together.

The changes are for both, but it is obvious that the changes in women are more as she leave her house and enters a strangers house leaving all the happiness and freedom and more importantly the love of her family.  As like the guys, even the girls were living their life without any responsibilities and they are accountable only for their chit chats and small/big fights with their siblings.

This is one thing which the most men doesn’t understand that she comes in as a stranger and it is his responsibility to make her feel comfortable in the new house and make the relationship grow with each others in his family and to treat her as one in the family.

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How to get prepared for a marriage?

It is not so easy to get prepared for the marriage. You can never be prepared for the Marriage. It is said that you are going to marry a person and become as a new personality. You will never be able to see you in you, because that you is going to change with a knot as ‘WE’. (Whether it changes for both becomes the question of the marriage life)

It is a change process of Girl to grow as a woman, but where in we expect the girl to act as a woman from the day 1 and that is where the problems in the family arises. Whereas the guy takes his time to change and grow from a guy to a man. He has the liberty to meet his friends, dine with his friends and to continue his routines as he was before marriage.

You will not know when you will grow and how you will grow and change in the relationship and how they will grow and change. It needs time for both the woman and man to get adopted for the change.

Whether the Girl gets married at 18 or 28, irrespective of her age, she has to become a smart woman, a great home maker as soon as she gets married.

As a spinster, she would never ever thought that her life will change so drastically upside down like anything after her marriage, if so she would have prepared herself for the same.

Most of the girls are grown up as like the guys and even more with love and care because she is meant to leave the house with a stranger as his wife and need to have all her life and happiness in her mother’s house.

It is true that the girl who is a spinster has the liberty for the following.

First and foremost is leaving her house and entering to a strangers house with 100 folds of responsibilities of about which she has no clues also.  She has to leave her surname and take up her husbands name as her surname/second name which dominates to say that there is no relationship or responsibilities with her parents.

Early Morning is @ her convenience

Get up early by 9 or 10:00 AM, without any worries. If the girl is a school or college goer then she will wake up exactly 15 minutes before and get ready in 10 minutes, her breakfast along with her coffee will be ready.

For some girls, the coffee goes to her bed and she will wake up with her mothers face asking her to get ready for her classes.

After Marriage, she has to get up and make the bed coffee for her lovely husband and his family. There is no one to ask her whether she has taken her coffee. Even before the coffee shop gets over, this little girl has to get ready to make the breakfast for the family where the individuals will have their own choices.

Early Morning remains same for the guy – Either way he will get his bed coffee only change would be from mother to wife. There is no change in the way he gets up or going to bed as a man.

This morning becomes night mare for the women of India after having couple of kids, because it is mothers responsibility to get up early and to make them ready till drop them in the school.

It is a sweet responsibility to take care of the entire house members and it will become the prime responsibility for the women to take care of the needs of the immediate family members. If at all the in-laws are nice, then it becomes a sweet responsibility and she will start loving it without feeling it as a burden, but most of the cases it is wise versa and she does it only to save her marriage and to save the name of her parents.

The guy becomes needs to be more responsible if it is a nuclear family, because the house was taken care by his father and the finances were handled by mother and he was not accountable for anything at home. When he starts his life with a new girl, he has to be more sensible, responsible to handle everything.

Decision Making @ her Choice

This is one thing which the woman has to forget after marriage, she was the one who used to take the decisions be it for her day to day life or education or job. Before marriage it was only you will get affected and the actions after the decisions are going to impact only one person.

After marriage she needs to think more to take a decision as it is going to affect both of them and the decision whatever she is going to take has to be accepted by her husband and his family and at times the decisions are being dictated to her.

Increase of Patience to great heights

There was times wherein she will get high BP and fight with mother for more sugar in coffee or no salt in the food or scream with brothers for petty issues like for taking pencil or pen or cycle. When father shouts, she has the liberty to break out and cry, shed tears to bring down the normalcy at home.

After marriage, she will not have the chance to break out or vent out anything. She will be the one who used to add more sugar or no sugar or salt and there will be no one to ask permissions to use her things. This patience is the success key to the marriage wherein you suppress all your feelings to save your marriage and when you learn this Technic to suppress your feelings, the patience level increases.

It was easy for her to speak to her family members without even thinking anything as a word out of anger, but when it is after marriage she needs to think thrice before she speaks as it is going to harm her marriage life.

Priorities Changes after marriage

There was no priorities in life for both guy and girl before marriage. They were meant to go to school, enjoy their life with friends, have fun. Both of them would have been hanging with friends, working late night in the office, going for parties etc., As an individual, only friends, your job was the priority.

For the girls, needless to say that her priority changes from her to him and his family. She becomes more sensitive towards him and his family. She tries to make them as her. The you of her gets converted to him and his family as priorities. The changes of hanging out with friends very rare cases and even if they get a chance to hang around, her family runs behind her mind, family, expenses, happiness of the family goes on in her mind.

She says good-bye to her best buddies and she is ready to miss the most lovable part of her time with her friends, late night out or any tour and travel with her friends. She makes it as history and when someone reminds her then she thinks about it and say yes I was like that but now I don’t have time to think and even if she has time to think, she doesn’t want to do it as her mind keeps on thinking about this family of hers which never thinks her as one in that family.

For the guys, yes it changes but not to that great level of a woman. It changes from his family to his family with added responsibilities of his wife.

For the guys, it remains same irrespective of the family responsibilities being taken by him or not.

Become a visitor to your Parents house

You are being invited for your parents house for any occasions or to spend time with them. You are being treated like a prince in your own house which you used to enjoy when you were single and now the love becomes more but still your heart thinks about Your(his) family.

Life is beautiful today, Love it enjoy it and don’t ever think that life after marriage is going to be beautiful, but yes for sure it is beautiful with lot of challenges and changes in both of you.

Life is meant with full of change, challenge, courage,choices and compromises. Do the right choice to challenge your life with courage and to look forward for the changes what it brings to you in life with little compromises.

With lot of compromises, you can get good choice of husband who will challenge the world for you with courage and change his world as you. 

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ப்ரியமானவளே

பொன்மகள் இவள் 
என்னை கொஞ்சிடும் போது
முழு மதியது அவள் முகத்தினில் கண்டு 
என் மதியது செயல் இழக்கும்,
உடல் முழுவதும் வண்ணத்து பூசிகள் சிறகடிக்கும். 
 
பொதுவாக தங்கமே செல்லமே என்று
மகள்களை அன்னையர் கொஞ்சிடுவர் 
மகளவள் தங்கமே என்று சொல்லும் நொடியில்
நான் நெருப்பில்லாமல் நீரினில் உருகுகிறேன் 
மங்கையவள் கொஞ்சும் நேரம் 
மழலையாகவே  மாறிவிடுகிறேன்  
 
ஆறாத கோபம் கொண்டாலும் 
தங்கம் கோபமா என்று அவள் கேட்டிடும் போது 
சூரியனை கண்ட பனி போல
என் கோபங்கள் ஓடி ஒளிந்து கொள்ளும்
அவளது ஏற்றத்தில் மட்டுமே
எனது அக்கறை யாவும் என்று உணர்ந்ததினால்
தனது சீற்றத்தை எனக்கு
சீதனமாக கொடுத்திட்டால்
மகளுக்கு மதம் பிடிக்கும்
ஆனால் மதம் பிடிக்காது
மதம் அது பிரச்சனை ஆனால்
மதம் அதை உனக்காக தூக்கி எறிவேன்
நீ நானாகவும் நான் நீயாகவும் இருக்கும் போது
அன்பு நிலையாக இருக்குமேயானால்
இந்த இந்துவின் இதயத்தில் இஸ்லாம் குடியிருக்கும்
எல்லா மதமும் சம்மதம் ஆகும் என் உயிரே
பாவை அவள் பேனாவை கையில் எடுத்தால்
எழுதும் பாக்கள் அத்துனையும் அவள் அன்னை எனக்காகவே
இதயமது அவளுக்காக துடிக்க மறந்தாலும் எனக்காக துடித்துக் கொண்டே இருக்கும் நான் இறந்த பிறகும் என்பதில் சிறிதும் ஐயம் இல்லை
motherhood

Rape- Rape-Rape

Getting accused for own mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Rape is an act that the strangers using their force over a woman to satisfy their lust, using their power. Rapes are not the actions that are for the physical needs of a guy with the concern of the girl. I hope the guys who read this will agree to it. If so we will not have the basic concept of love, marriage and the system to follow in any culture or any part of the world.

What is the society trying to say to my Indian woman, be submissive and dependent? Yes we are dependent on these guys around us to keep ourselves safe and pure. We are not dependent on them for anything else.

I really feel ashamed to say am a woman today because of the way our womanhood is being handled all over the world. I am ashamed to say a word for females as we are doing evils by exposing the Nirbaya to the world. If we can’t secret of a woman who was brutally raped and died as a victim, what are we going to do?

RAPE is one of the thing which goes around my mind from the time of Nirbaya. There are many more Nirbaya’s happening every day in every nook and corner of the world.

The statistics say that for an hour there are 3 woman is getting raped and the so called woman age starts from the age of 3. Guys should feel shame but we still hear that a 2 or 3-year-old baby is raped and taken to hospital.

How this 3 year woman can have faith and belief in you ?

A rape is  like you are an experienced driver but due to the negligence of other driver, you have all the chances of getting killed in an accident.These rapes are not even negligence of the woman but the brutal act of male chauvinism. 

GUYS there is no such stupid statements as guys and girls are equal, the equality is shattered and we are inferior only when someone is trying to take something out of me without my concern, you become more powerful. When we resist, you become more aggressive and violent for rejecting you.

There are so many people in the world who continue their life as  normal like others without even saying out that they are the victims of rape or harassed by the guys around them.

As all the rapes are happening outside my house, I am not ready to discuss it further or take it as a serious threat to womanhood. Why the entire nation is not ready to give their support for the rape victims and to protect their information secretly and to conduct the cases faster and to give justice in short period. The rapists have to be hanged in public. I am not a wild animal, but we should show to the society, if you behave like a wild animal, you have to be shot to dead.

Fear of life will certainly not make them to do these kind of violence’s not only in a female life, but also in anyone’s life. 

Why does the rape happens is what is going on in my mind?

Is it because of the Equality?

Equality has not led to these changes. Equality means, you are having fun, talking with your friend about a girl or anything, needs to be with your friend who can be a girl. This a girl as like your friend like  your friend who is a guy. Don’t have the sexual attraction towards them.

Is it because of the women liberation? Freedom for women? I will say that it is not the reason as the rapes are not happening in the recent time, it is happening since long time, when the women were not even coming out of their houses. Now the some cases are coming out due to the power and existence of the media.

Is it because of sexual frustration? If Yes, ideally only men have to be raped not the women. Expectations of a woman are not fulfilled in most of the marriages and the woman has to live in dreams and continue her services with the household and other activities for the sake of the family. I can’t say it as sexual frustration but as sexual violence. Every Human is a social animal but not every human is a wild animal to go to this level.

Is it because of the Age factor? We are not stopping any guys not to get married earlier. Yes Child marriage is not legal.

Now the guys are so much matured and responsible that they don’t want to get into any commitment before they get settled in their profession and to manage the personal life. Even the girls are not interested to get in to the well at early 20’s and they don’t want to delay it to late 20’s as well.Both the sex prefer to get into the wedlock when they feel that it is time for them to start their new phase of life. So no one is forcing them, it is their choice to be single. If it is so then there should not be a chance for the Rape.

Why this Nirbaya or the other cases come out is because of the way she was tortured, brutal assault and she was struggling for her life-like anything. As said by the accused, she was fighting as much as she could avoid the rape. In all other cases, the victims surrenders themselves knowing that they can neither fight against these scoundrels or with the society after the incident.

I don’t wish this to happen to anyone even in my wildest dream but just for the sake of this discussion, if it happens to us or someone in our own family, would we be able to treat it as an accident and get on with life as before? Is it possible for us to recover from that situation to normal without any agony?

What will I do, if I am a victim of rape?

Either I have to stand up and shout or I have to keep quiet and live as a normal life.

At first instance itself I will fail because the man who prepares his mind for a rape is stronger than the woman and she is not aware of the things that is going to happen in her life. In this case woman will not be mentally prepared to fight and physically it is not possible to fight against the man who comes to her fiercely. when it is more than one man, she will be thinking that one will help her to save herself from the cruel act, without knowing that there is no Krishna in that group. It is like a goat fighting with ferocious lion. Lions will succeed anyway.

Now the question what will be going around that moment in my mind is whether to surrender with this lion or to get killed every second by the people around me, the so called society?

Assume that I am a rape victim, what will be my husband’s reaction? Will he treat me like before? Will he have the mind frame that it is not an intentional incident or betrayal by me? Do I have the option of having a normal life with him? Will he be ever happy again with me? Even if he tries to what is the society that is going to offer us? Even if the rape happens in front of his eyes, he will not be able to accept me as like before. This is the mind-set of our guys and we all are bound slaves of our society. I will not say that all husbands are stone-hearted or they don’t care about their wives. It is how the society accepts the rape victims.

Will my brother consider me as like before, will he be able to take me with him to a movie or to a temple?

What will be my father’s reaction towards me? How my sisters will react to the situation? what about their social statuses and how difficult it is to get a groom for them or for anyone to play a role in the society as a normal human?

Forget about how they handle me, everyone will start feeling themselves as if they were raped and they will start hiding them as if they are the victim of that rape. It is not only one person getting raped, but also the entire family gets into turmoil.

What about the extended family and I call each and every friend of mine as extended family? Do you think all my friends will welcome me with two hands as they are doing now?

Only person who will be with me all the way through will be my mother, but she will not live for long after knowing this incident as she will not be able to digest it. She would have dealt with me like the mother who did in the movie Sila nerangalil Sil manithargal of Jeyakanthan (again Lakshmi as Heroine).

If at all I was raped, then ideally as a common woman, I will keep quite only. It was my inability to protect myself from one or more guys and it is not my fault and it is the gender bias provided by god. Especially when you are in your teens, the way your body is built is not to fight and it will not have enough strength to fight.

A guy of 35 years who needs to satisfy his physical needs or society insult/arrogance with a young girl of 14 or 19 years will succeed in his attempts quite easily. When the girl tries to fight, then she will be harassed, stuck brutally and she has to undergo lot of problems.

When a girl becomes a victim without even knowing that she is going to be a victim has to surrender only rather than fighting this huge devil. Most of the rapes happens in this manner only. Girls surrender and they don’t disclose this to anyone.

Does it mean a guy is always superior than a female? Yes in this matter, because the pain and shame or whatever it is only for me not for the guy who has done it. When a guy becomes a wild animal, he is stronger than the woman. 

If at all I survive as a rape victim, I am supposed to keep quite without informing this to anyone – this means I should have a very strong heart and I am ready to fight this world with my own conscience. Only those who have gone through that trauma will know it. A movie by SP Muthuraman, Mayangukiral Oru Maadhu will say how difficult it is for a female to be a victim. (even though it is not a rape). It requires lot of physical and mental strength in woman to continue her life.

I am bold, brave, courageous, different, extrovert, friendly, outspoken, but what will I do?

I will not be able to say the truth even to one individual because if I say it out to one person, then it is not a secret and I have to struggle always with the person to whom I confessed. I have to live in a fear that when the other person will let it out.

What are the normal thing I have to hear if I share that I am a victim of a rape? The below listed are the talks which will come to my ears every now and then. It is not only for me, the entire family needs to listen to all the crap.

Girl who is extrovert will always have this possibility of getting raped.

A woman like you invites rape by venturing alone going in the dark. I am forced in so many ways, I am a divorcee, I am a widow, I am still single, I am mother of two children without husband, I am wife of handicapped husband, I am struggling for the sake of my family, I am the woman who needs to have her self-respect.

I am forced to go because of various situation, for my survival and I will not travel in the night time to get raped. If so, probably I would have chosen the other profession which is calling the rapist to come to me and we name them as a prostitute.

You cannot control on your own safety when the other person comes to you as a wild animal and what others do? I am not trying to invite someone to help me in the midnight.

Girls who dress with decently, don’t get raped. What else you want to wear a jeans and T-shirt or kurta is not enough for me to feel comfortable as decent? What about the woman getting raped who wears a traditional salwar or a saree as her dress?

Dress is not the matter for the guy who wants to rape a girl. It is the need of that particular time and a small wrong gesture from the girl also can initiate it to rape. Ideally if a woman is half naked also the guy is supposed to protect her not to rape her. You don’t need to give respect to that half naked woman, but give respect to yourself for what you are and you ought to be.

There is no such thing which can describe the character of a woman to get raped and it is the matter of the mindset of the guys and I don’t say all are wild.

It is the matter of maturity that needs to be brought in to the guy’s life. It is not the question of how the girl needs to be, it is time for the guys to know that girls are not for their sexual treasure without their concern.

If we see the few incidents that are reported in the recent times as sexual harassment or anything against women are being done when the so called women are submissive, dressed properly. Some are being kidnapped and brutally raped.

GUY’s It is not about what and who we are; it is about who YOU are. You don’t need to treat us equally but don’t try to show that you are super power by creating rape victims. Let your gestures make the girls to fall for you rather than going behind them or chasing them.

I really feel for the Nirbaya case because if it was happened in my house, I would not have let it to come out. I will not feel outraged or emotional or feeling sentiments. I would rather prefer to die than to get exposed so many times in different ways for someone else mistake.

Getting accused for thy mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Just Remember the Movie Damini (Hindi) which was remade in  Tamil as Priyanka will depict the condition of the victim and it is not a film, it is the current situation of the women in India. This movie was pictured in early 1993 and I remember that I saw this movie in 1994. Now in 2015, I am writing that the status of the woman is same.

For sure, this movie would have come of late with lot of such rapes happened in the society over two decades ago. If that is the situation of today’s India, what are we doing or heading towards women liberalization? There is no improvement for the women’s life and there is no social security provided by the constituency.

We have seen 4-5 elections and nothing changed. In a month I hear that 5 victims news happened in the capital city which has come to lime light.

GUYS be like a gentleman, if you don’t know the meaning, please learn it from your mother, may be your father failed to show it to you at home. There are some psychological needs are there for men and they get aggravated easily because of their psychological issues.

For some the family itself could be a problem, for some the family could have abandoned them for their characters. Some are illegitimate children without knowing their identity. I am not blaming all guys are bad and not saying that all girls are very good.

Have you ever heard any guys getting molested in public or getting harassed by girls? 

Here and there, this will also be there but within friends circle, they will be giggling or making fun not with an intention to insult you. Even if someone insults you in public, taking revenge on a woman doesn’t going to solve this issue. Any assault done by you to a woman is going to harm you and your family reputation as well. It is not only create the woman as a victim, but you as  accused and as Convicted.

Law will take it’s own time, but your family gets insulted for no reason. Just before doing any atrocities against woman count from 1 to 100 and think your family, your mother, sister, daughter in that woman for whom you are going to do the harm. I am sure that you guys will protect her and will not try to harass her.

Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

I am really amazed to see myself from the year 2009 to 2014… How I was in 2009? What kind of great changes in 2014? How is it possible?

I am not sure whether it is because of Arowana or because of my Age. One thing is for sure that I am working with a good employer and probably I can say as best employer for me.

Why is it a big deal for me to write about 5 years in a company? 

Only very few know with whom I am very close to from 1994, that I hate to continue in one company or in one stream and I will not be able to do a monotonous job.  My resume also will speak about my switching careers, but it is part of life, but somehow I wanted to stick with one company at least for 3 years. My patience level with most of the companies is 11 months and maximum was 19 months, I will learn and earn and leave the company. (not matured to serve the company)

I can say that whatever I learned, I utilized all my experiences with Arowana to stick with them for 5 years. Apart from Utilizing my own experiences, I learnt the art of patience from Arowana. I have to thank them for the way they have given me the opportunities. I have shown my attitude, arrogance as like others but when it is required to show my self-respect and not to damage the reputation of the company.

Now I know that I can’t beat this record of 5 years with any other companies as I don’t have that much patience to work for long time.

I remember how I joined Arowana and it was not a decision I made to stay here for 5 years. In an anger, I resigned from my previous employer. Initially I thought to take it as break. I was working continuously without any break. Due to the market situation/recession, I was forced to take a long break almost for 5 months and Arowana’s offer was the first one on my way while I was enjoying the break. I took it to give an end to my break, thinking that I will work for 3 or 6 months with them and I will switch over. That was the opinion provided by the friend who was with Arowana at that time.

Arowana might not be a ROSE flower to smell and enjoy the fragrance but it is not a cactus. If anyone is feeling it as a cactus, please find your way is what I will say as an employee of Arowana. No one is forcing you to hug a cactus for your survival and the more you are hugging, you will feel it as pain and create pain for others. We are the plants and we make it as a rose or cactus and I believe in it, I move with that belief.

From the day of joining, I know the people who are close to me, known to me who was working with arowana, left the organization and from other companies friends also left, but I never felt that I have to leave or even I have not given a try to find a job outside. Couple of years ago I tried with one of the company in India, and that was a trial to brush my skills to attend an interview.

4 years back one of my best friends who know me since 1995 asked me about my whereabouts in Skype, I told her that I am working with Arowana consulting and am into ERP Oracle practice from 2004. To her great surprise, she questioned me, how come you are still with Oracle, I thought by this time you would have switched to SAP/Siebel or out of IT.

After a short conversation with her, she asked how long you are with Arowana, Please change your company as soon as possible. I was surprised to hear this, because one side she was happy that I am into ERP for long time and she doesn’t want me to work with Arowana. She is like one of my best friend whose words are like bible for me, I will follow her.

But this time, I asked her the reason for it. She said, the reputation of the company is not good, the more you stay with them, you are going to lose your value. May be that is one of the reason for me to continue such long or what I don’t know.

I told her with a smile in my face, company’s reputation is based on the employees not based on the employers. Arowana does well means its employees are doing well and Arowana is doing worst or bad, then it means employees are not doing well.

Above all, I don’t have any issue with Arowana and I am happy to be part of it. I will not search a job as long as I am working with them. If I feel that I have to resign from Arowana, I will do it without even thinking for a minute, but as of now I am happy. Absolutely there is no issue with the company. She knows how I came out of Singapore, in 1996, I have thrown resignation on the Manager’s face for not approving the leaves and I am still proud of that act. But I will not do such thing for sure in future, you learn from your mistakes.

There are people who used to leave the organization without giving the notice period, without serving the notice period. We do have some hiccup issues but I can manage with it. I am thinking myself as an employer as I have faced these kind of heat and I know the difficulties of running an organization. If someone wants to leave for such reason, let them go and even I will say don’t stop them.

I don’t have any issues either with holding the passport (I hold my passport) or with the leaves or with the medical reimbursements or with any other thing for that matter. There is a delay but it is a known fact and even when I refer someone, I used to tell them all these as facts and if you wish, you can send your CV.

Whatever you are reading from the consumer complaints or any other social media are based on the individual employees reviews and comments. Everywhere it is same that when you are going to leave the organization, we have to see the hatred at both the ends. No Company is good in that matter. If at all I have to get relieved smoothly or for any other reason, I have to do the needful. Tomorrow I might have to face the heat but I am sure that I will not face like others or cry for that matter.

At times companies like TCS, Infosys sends a team out. Arowana has not gained any bad name of sending its employees. Here and there they would have asked one or two cases to leave based on some comments or feedbacks from their customers.

The reason for sharing the above incident is to say that WE ARE THE PILLARS of the company and without me spoiling the name of the company, it will not get spoiled. I am trying my best effort not to harm my reputation and I expect the fellow Arowanites to do the same. At least for the salary what you get (even delayed, but still you are getting it), be sincere and faithful for what you are getting today from your employer.

Today on the day of completing 5 years, I can proudly say that I have got increments with my employer and I am happy with what I have got. The last increment was not satisfying but I don’t complain or crimp about it because it was done across the organization in the similar manner. I cannot demand more as I know what is the revenue that I am generating for the company. Apart from my Salary there are other components which needs to be considered and the profit margin will be less. I am an employee only, I don’t need to consider it, I can change my job. Yes no one is stopping me or Arowana is also not saying that “Dont Go” If I have something better than this, they will be happy to send me.

In one of the clients place, a CFO during the course of our conversation once said that Arowana has not done it properly and I asked him to repeat it, he said I have high respect for you, but Arowana has not done it well. I told him politely that whatever you are saying as Arowana implies only to me as I am representing AROWANA and how can you contradict with your statement?

In the Same Company, CEO has said that Arowana has got the best employees whereas I have not get the best.  When I heard that I am very proud of Arowana and not of that Company.

Every client will throw the bone pieces to its contract employees by saying that you will be offered here in our own payroll. When I was given the bones from the couple of the clients of Arowana,  I told them, am not a fool to join this company, which means I am at a better place.

Couple of days back, I got the chance to visit the client, one guy asked me, how is your career growth in Arowana, I said I am satisfied with my growth. When I shared my experiences, he said it is marvelous.

I always used to say that I am at a better place and if at all I wish to join some customers, I will do it on own not against Arowana. It is not an ethic to join their clients without their concern and also I love consulting. If I wish to leave consulting, then also I will get the other choices from Arowana. That is the belief and faith what an employee should have with their employers. Whether they guide me or they ask me the option I leave it to the situations.

Whether the career growth is measured in terms of money or position or the knowledge, then I am getting wise, wiser and wisest with the opportunities provided by my employer.

I may not use this knowledge after 5 years, but I will be using it for the next 5 years J

I am not a mouth piece of Arowana or I don’t have any share with Arowana Management , I am one like you who is waiting for the salary to come on expected date, waiting for the appraisals to happen and so on. I will also get the same treatment when I am going to leave the organization, but I give respect to my Employer, at least till the day I work for them. It doesn’t mean that I can write bad about the company for whom I served for so long.

As per the saying, Don’t love your company, I love my job and I don’t love my Employer but I give respect to my Employer for providing the basement for me to love my job.

When you are satisfied and content with your life, you can see happiness in anything and everything

Don’t compare a company which is in growing stage with the grown companies. If everyone opts only for MNC’s, how can we have many more MNC’s? In few years we will have some changes in Arowana also, but before that everyone will do the damage and leave the organization for their own benefits. If that is the case, then how a company can show its prosperity?

I know that I have learned in my learning path much ahead of the MNC’s. MNC’s Can utilize these skills but they can make us to learn what I have learned from Arowana.

What I sow is what I will reap and I want to be at peace. I am contented with what I have and I am happy with my employer. You can see lot of changes in me, both physically (Glowing because I am always happy), professionally I am growing matured (I have not raised my hands or voice at any one in the last 5 years)

Last Day – Experience about the company

How do you feel about your experience with this company ?
This is one of the most foolish question to be asked to a contractor when you are sending them out. This question is valid, when the C. Employee leaves on his/her own intention for some other projects. My instant answer to that super question was useless for me in my career. I was not wrong at all, because the internal experience what I got can be used only there, not in another company, unless and otherwise I work for the same industry.
Answer to your question, if it was in a team meeting
Wonderful Experience because of lovely colleagues, of course as usual  need to work with bunch of Jokers who neither knows what is a project delivery (Time duration only considered, risk analysis will never happen) nor a support activity.
Answer if I was leaving on my own
Working with this company was my pleasure and the learning curve was so high, I have not seen much of challenges or whatever I have come across were not new in this company but nevertheless it was quite good when the projects gets delivered.
After an awkward go live of a project, the way I have given the support, is one of the best what I could do in my career. I will not do such support anymore in my life. (That implementation was really pathetic), After 4 months of time, they can say that we had issues during the stabilization period and everything is fine now.
Bravo.. Kudoos but Don’t ever say that it there was no issues.
Answer if my employer would have asked this question
We are blessed to working with a better employer who can assign us in different projects. It will be great if you can concentrate more on projects and not the T&M style. I know the difficulties as a business but it makes lot of difference for both the company and the consultants as we will have some satisfaction that we are giving our time and effort for the sake of our own company not to your vendors.
Answer if one of your colleague would have asked the above question
Ideally you people have to answer for this question.
Answer if his boss would have asked the above question

There will not be any issues to your chair as long as you don’t hear from others. Don’t hear from anyone, just believe what they say are true. With this team, you don’t need to use your brain because they will make the things worst from bad.

Answer to a friend
I learned how all a management should not be with their external resources from this company. Don’t love your company, Don’t love your projects, Don’t consider your client as your employer.

About Feelings:

I read from a blog.. worth to share than to re-write the same topic.

Lies We Believe About Feelings:

Most of what we currently believe about emotions is false. Here are some of the beliefs we have about feelings. These beliefs are not all inclusive, because each individual, each family and each culture has unique beliefs regarding emotions, most of which are not true. But knowing about these lies may help you to unravel the mystery of our past and how we got captured.

LIE #1: There are “good” feelings and “bad” feelings.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS ARE GOOD!

All feelings are good because they reflect back to us how an experience is affecting us. If we pretend that certain feelings are bad, rather than the experience is making us feel bad, it is like we are beating the wagon to make the horse move. Now, some feelings we do enjoy more than others; and we would like to continue to feel some feelings and stop feeling others. But the way to stop feeling an emotion we do not like is to stop experiencing whatever it is that is painful or hurtful.

LIE #2: We can decide how we are going to feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS CANNOT BE DICTATED.

You can choose to change your mind, but you cannot just choose to change your feelings, not without damaging your soul and possibly losing a large part of yourself. You can tell a child not to be angry at someone, but that will not stop the anger. It will only teach a child to hide the anger and suppress the feelings, AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, teach the child that feelings are wrong or bad. Feelings are important to us because they tell us what we like and don’t like. I will say this over and over again. I may react to something differently than you do because my reaction (which comes from my feelings), comes from who I am. You may not like to swim and your feelings tell you so. I may love to swim and my feelings tell me so. Each person is unique. Each person’s feelings come from the deepest part of the self, to tell us who we are and how we want to live our lives and what we want to do and who we want to be with. We must not let the mind or intellect tell us what to do, when it is contrary to how we feel. The intellect, when it is working at its best, is making decisions for us and for our good based on how we feel.

LIE #3: Feelings lie. They are an unreliable barometer of the truth.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH

Our emotions are our surest way to know what is true about any situation. Our emotions always tell us the truth long before the mind can understand a situation or discern danger. This is partly because the mind is primarily a linear thing. It sees, thinks, and makes decisions in a linear fasion. Whereas the discernment that comes from our soul, our emotions, is very different. Our emotions respond to feeling nuances in a situation as a whole, even without mental understandings. You might be used to thinking of this as instinct, intuition, gut reaction, sensing. Whatever you call it, the emotions have the power to keep us safe and help us understand the world and ourselves by telling us the whole truth about a person or situation. However, there is a problem: when emotions go unexpressed, they freeze in time. What this means is that we often respond to a present day situation with a backlog of stored frozen emotions from our past. This is inappropriate, obviously, but that doesn’t mean the emotions are lying. All it means is that in order to be able to respond and feel truly in the present with all of our resources, we need to heal all the old trapped, frozen emotions we have locked up in the attic.

LIE #4: Once you have experienced emotional trauma and deep pain, you are stuck with the feelings forever and must learn to live with them, overcome them and ultimately suppress them.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS, PAST OR PRESENT, CAN BE RELEASED COMPLETELY AND WILL BE GONE FOREVER.

Once feelings have been released, wonderful natural processes begin to spontaneously activate. A re-evaluation process takes place and gives you new understanding. Awarenesses that you did not have before lead to changed beliefs and new decisions, and an outpouring of love and forgiveness takes place automatically. There is no hurt that cannot be healed, whether it is a hurt we have given or hurt we have received. All hurt feelings can be released until they are gone. This is part of the miracle of how feelings work if they are allowed to function naturally.
Our feelings must be allowed to surface and we must process them if we are to understand what they have to teach us. Unprocessed feelings do cause many problems. But feelings that have been accepted, honored and allowed to move through tears, are the most valuable tool we have.

LIE #5: You are what you feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ARE NOT SET IN STONE AND THEY ARE NOT AN INDICATION OF WHO YOU ARE.

As long as emotions are allowed to express organically, as long as they are not suppressed or judged, they can heal and evolve. You can feel murderous hatred and desire to kill someone. This does not make you evil or bad. This doesn’t make you a murderer (unless you ACT on the feeling). All it means is you have a feeling that needs acceptance and expression, and once given those two precious gifts, will move itself to healing and will no longer be whatever it was. It will evolve naturally and spontaneously into something else. We all suffer under the weight of this lie that says what we feel is who we are, and therefore we try our best to suppress all feelings that we judge as bad, wrong, evil, or unloving.