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Way of Life – Religion

I don’t like to talk about any religion because it creates rift between two lovely souls. Somehow in the recent times friends around me make me to think more about my religion, which most of us doesn’t give priority to it because we know that it doesn’t forces us to follow A to Z.

I have to feel proud of the following.

My parents – for the reason for my birth, My country India in which I was born as an independent female child, My religion – HINDU which doesn’t ask me to follow any religious rituals.

Rest of things like school, teachers, friends all came to me during the course of my life. I had struggles in all these, but to have my parents, my country and to have my religion, I never had any problems.

Unto me, the religion is just to say how to live the life and it is said as way of life. As a Hindu, I live the life as I want without harming anyone or my harmony.  I don’t discriminate with other religions and in the same way I don’t want anyone to talk anything against any religion.

I am not an atheist and I don’t agree with atheist but I believe that it is their freedom to say there is no god, yes that is the reason I love my Hinduism. More than us, those who say there is no god, think more about god to prove that there is no god.

In the recent time, an audio reached me via whatsapp saying that the Hinduism has discrimination with reference to the caste system and because of which humans are not equal.  It doesn’t say that humans are not equal, but it says that as per the desire of god, please do the work what is assigned to you. It doesn’t mean that you should not do anything above to your limits.

There is no condition that you have to follow this. If you don’t follow the reason of your birth, then there is a possibility of disaster happening around the world. When one person rebel, there is no harm, but when a mob rebels there is harm to the society.

Second thought of that content was – Muslim scholars quote a lot about Hinduism, Veda’s etc.,

Yes it is for sure that we don’t preach or we don’t ask a Christian or a Muslim to follow Hinduism or to attend some seminars or to go through any form of Hinduism.  We don’t even talk to them that our religion is the best one to follow or it is revealed by god to XYZ etc.,

Third point of it was Muhammad was the last messenger of God, how could we say this, when Quran accepts that Jesus was also a messenger of God, we might have one more to come…

Way of Life for a Human à cannot be simplified with one holy book which is for sure everyone will accept.. I have read in Quran that Jesus was a messenger of God, that means those who believe in Quran has to believe that bible was also a message from GOD. Even before the birth of Christ, there was people living and they would have followed few things as way of life. When god has created us, don’t you think he would not have created us without a user manual?

I don’t have the origin of Hinduism and there are great Muslim scholars who has said that Mohammed will be born and it is written in some Veda’s. As a Hindu, most of us would not be aware of it, but he was able to quote it, because he is reading a more on that not to find the similarities but to identify the reasons to preach his religion.

I have been asked by a Muslim guy, are you a Hindu terrorist, I smiled and told him that If I can save a Muslim family, then I am an Indian Hindu who can safeguard a Muslim family, but when a Muslim tries to attack me for being a Hindu, yes I am a Hindu Terrorist for that Muslim terrorist. It depends on you how I have to be because I give respect to you as human, if you consider me as Hindu terrorist then I have to consider you as a Muslim terrorist and tell me how I should treat you as a human or as a Muslim or Muslim terrorist? His reply was Sorry Sister 🙂

You don’t get respect, if you don’t give, and especially from me, you will not get it if you don’t give it. I work with different country people, I work in Islamic country, I love unity and peace. When I see a Pakistani, I don’t get enmity, I welcome them with smile and I want my working environment to be peace and without any conflict. We don’t enter into any political talks to make them cheap or to boost my country. I give respect to their feelings. I give respect to their patriotism, I give respect to their religion, I give respect to them as human and I don’t treat them as my enemy.

I have to give full credit to them as well, they don’t enter into any arguments related to my country or my religion or anything to hurt the sentiment of the two nation.

One thing is sure that God is one and as a Hindu, I believe in GOD and I believe that this universe is being created by god and we all act as per the wishes of GOD. Almighty is the director and we all act as he wants us to act.

Hinduism doesn’t need saviors to protect it as it has its own power to protect it. Hinduism doesn’t need preachers to preach it. It will not die even after the entire universe changes or gets converted to any other religion. It has its own power to be alive till this earth is alive. It doesn’t need you and me to make it alive.

If at all the world becomes a Christians or Muslims alone, and there are no Hindu’s living in this world, even then HINDUISM will live without any followers because it has a long history and the way it is will make it to live without preaching and protecting.

We live as human, live for human and die as human, just because I believe in god doesn’t mean that I am not going to die or I am going to get special benefits during my life and after my life.

To do good, I don’t need GOD to be with me to care, to love or to hope or to live, but the belief in god makes to love without hatred, to care the known and unknown, to hope that all human are same, and to live my life happily with a belief that there is life after death. 

Hinduism doesn’t need me to be a Hindu to protect Hinduism but I need Hinduism to protect myself from enmity and to keep myself in Harmony with others. If you can do good without GOD, I welcome you with two hands and encourage you with more smiles and happiness in me.

Religion – is for the Good Life which is a process and not a state of being, it is a direction not the destination.  whether I am a Hindu or Muslim or christian is to direct me to lead life. Important C’s of Life are Compassion, Confidence, Contentment, Choice, Chance, Cherish, Change teaches us what is life for which I don’t need to fight in the name of Religion. Change comes to those who knows to take the right choice and to take it as a chance with Confidence.

 

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Life after marriage

This is one subject which I was talking with my office colleague who was from a different country and more interestingly to other nationality to say that the life changes for a Girl in India after Marriage.

Marriage is not the unity of two bodies, but union of two souls as one with more care for each other, love for them, trust in them. Marriage changes drastically in both men and women, because they started to share their feelings for each other and start living together.

The changes are for both, but it is obvious that the changes in women are more as she leave her house and enters a strangers house leaving all the happiness and freedom and more importantly the love of her family.  As like the guys, even the girls were living their life without any responsibilities and they are accountable only for their chit chats and small/big fights with their siblings.

This is one thing which the most men doesn’t understand that she comes in as a stranger and it is his responsibility to make her feel comfortable in the new house and make the relationship grow with each others in his family and to treat her as one in the family.

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How to get prepared for a marriage?

It is not so easy to get prepared for the marriage. You can never be prepared for the Marriage. It is said that you are going to marry a person and become as a new personality. You will never be able to see you in you, because that you is going to change with a knot as ‘WE’. (Whether it changes for both becomes the question of the marriage life)

It is a change process of Girl to grow as a woman, but where in we expect the girl to act as a woman from the day 1 and that is where the problems in the family arises. Whereas the guy takes his time to change and grow from a guy to a man. He has the liberty to meet his friends, dine with his friends and to continue his routines as he was before marriage.

You will not know when you will grow and how you will grow and change in the relationship and how they will grow and change. It needs time for both the woman and man to get adopted for the change.

Whether the Girl gets married at 18 or 28, irrespective of her age, she has to become a smart woman, a great home maker as soon as she gets married.

As a spinster, she would never ever thought that her life will change so drastically upside down like anything after her marriage, if so she would have prepared herself for the same.

Most of the girls are grown up as like the guys and even more with love and care because she is meant to leave the house with a stranger as his wife and need to have all her life and happiness in her mother’s house.

It is true that the girl who is a spinster has the liberty for the following.

First and foremost is leaving her house and entering to a strangers house with 100 folds of responsibilities of about which she has no clues also.  She has to leave her surname and take up her husbands name as her surname/second name which dominates to say that there is no relationship or responsibilities with her parents.

Early Morning is @ her convenience

Get up early by 9 or 10:00 AM, without any worries. If the girl is a school or college goer then she will wake up exactly 15 minutes before and get ready in 10 minutes, her breakfast along with her coffee will be ready.

For some girls, the coffee goes to her bed and she will wake up with her mothers face asking her to get ready for her classes.

After Marriage, she has to get up and make the bed coffee for her lovely husband and his family. There is no one to ask her whether she has taken her coffee. Even before the coffee shop gets over, this little girl has to get ready to make the breakfast for the family where the individuals will have their own choices.

Early Morning remains same for the guy – Either way he will get his bed coffee only change would be from mother to wife. There is no change in the way he gets up or going to bed as a man.

This morning becomes night mare for the women of India after having couple of kids, because it is mothers responsibility to get up early and to make them ready till drop them in the school.

It is a sweet responsibility to take care of the entire house members and it will become the prime responsibility for the women to take care of the needs of the immediate family members. If at all the in-laws are nice, then it becomes a sweet responsibility and she will start loving it without feeling it as a burden, but most of the cases it is wise versa and she does it only to save her marriage and to save the name of her parents.

The guy becomes needs to be more responsible if it is a nuclear family, because the house was taken care by his father and the finances were handled by mother and he was not accountable for anything at home. When he starts his life with a new girl, he has to be more sensible, responsible to handle everything.

Decision Making @ her Choice

This is one thing which the woman has to forget after marriage, she was the one who used to take the decisions be it for her day to day life or education or job. Before marriage it was only you will get affected and the actions after the decisions are going to impact only one person.

After marriage she needs to think more to take a decision as it is going to affect both of them and the decision whatever she is going to take has to be accepted by her husband and his family and at times the decisions are being dictated to her.

Increase of Patience to great heights

There was times wherein she will get high BP and fight with mother for more sugar in coffee or no salt in the food or scream with brothers for petty issues like for taking pencil or pen or cycle. When father shouts, she has the liberty to break out and cry, shed tears to bring down the normalcy at home.

After marriage, she will not have the chance to break out or vent out anything. She will be the one who used to add more sugar or no sugar or salt and there will be no one to ask permissions to use her things. This patience is the success key to the marriage wherein you suppress all your feelings to save your marriage and when you learn this Technic to suppress your feelings, the patience level increases.

It was easy for her to speak to her family members without even thinking anything as a word out of anger, but when it is after marriage she needs to think thrice before she speaks as it is going to harm her marriage life.

Priorities Changes after marriage

There was no priorities in life for both guy and girl before marriage. They were meant to go to school, enjoy their life with friends, have fun. Both of them would have been hanging with friends, working late night in the office, going for parties etc., As an individual, only friends, your job was the priority.

For the girls, needless to say that her priority changes from her to him and his family. She becomes more sensitive towards him and his family. She tries to make them as her. The you of her gets converted to him and his family as priorities. The changes of hanging out with friends very rare cases and even if they get a chance to hang around, her family runs behind her mind, family, expenses, happiness of the family goes on in her mind.

She says good-bye to her best buddies and she is ready to miss the most lovable part of her time with her friends, late night out or any tour and travel with her friends. She makes it as history and when someone reminds her then she thinks about it and say yes I was like that but now I don’t have time to think and even if she has time to think, she doesn’t want to do it as her mind keeps on thinking about this family of hers which never thinks her as one in that family.

For the guys, yes it changes but not to that great level of a woman. It changes from his family to his family with added responsibilities of his wife.

For the guys, it remains same irrespective of the family responsibilities being taken by him or not.

Become a visitor to your Parents house

You are being invited for your parents house for any occasions or to spend time with them. You are being treated like a prince in your own house which you used to enjoy when you were single and now the love becomes more but still your heart thinks about Your(his) family.

Life is beautiful today, Love it enjoy it and don’t ever think that life after marriage is going to be beautiful, but yes for sure it is beautiful with lot of challenges and changes in both of you.

Life is meant with full of change, challenge, courage,choices and compromises. Do the right choice to challenge your life with courage and to look forward for the changes what it brings to you in life with little compromises.

With lot of compromises, you can get good choice of husband who will challenge the world for you with courage and change his world as you. 

love marriage

Eswar-Allah-Tere-Naam

ஈஸ்வர் அல்லா தேரே நாம் – காந்தியால் எழுதப்பட்ட வரிகள், சுதந்திர போராட்டத்திற்கு காந்தியால் ராம பஜனாக பாடபட்ட பாடல், இதில் இஸ்லாமியர்கள் அல்லா எங்கணம் வந்தார் எதற்காக எழுதப் பட்டது என்று தெரியாது.

இஸ்லாமியர்களால் ராமனுடன் ஓப்புமைக்கு இயலாத அல்லாவை இனையாக சொன்னது ஏற்றுக் கொள்ளப்பட்டதாஎன்றும் எனக்கு தெரியாது.

நான் காந்தியைப் பின்பற்றுபவளும் இல்லை, ஆனாலும் இந்த ஈஸ்வர அல்லா தேரே நாம் என்று சொல்லும் போது ஒரு ஆனந்தம் வருவது என்னமோ உண்மை.

Allah-Eswar

காரண காரியங்கள் இல்லாமல் ஒரு அனுவும் அசையாது என்று இறை மீது நம்பிக்கை உண்டு. நான் மதங்களை கடந்து மனிதர்களை நேசிப்பவள், மதங்களின் வழியாக மனிதர்களை பார்ப்பவள் இல்லை, மனிதர்களின் வழியாக மதத்தினைப் பார்க்கிறேன்….. அதனால் தானோ என் மனம் அமைதியின்றி தவிக்கிறது….

நான் மனிதன் என்பதனால் வருந்தவில்லை, நீ இஸ்லாமியர் என்பதால் கலங்குகிறேன்…. இஸ்லாம் சொல்லும் எதிலும் நீ இல்லாமல் இருந்து அந்த மார்க்கத்தையும், மனிதர்களையும் எங்கு கொண்டு செல்வாயோ? 

“மது குடிக்கலாம் ஆனால் போதை வரக்கூடாது!“ என்பது மாதிரி! மதுவின் தேவையே போதைதானே? அது போல தான் இன்று மதம் என்பதும் மனிதனுக்குள் போதையாகியது…..

மதம் என்பதும் ஒரு போதையாகிப் போனது விந்தையே….

ராமனும் ரஹீமும் ஒன்றாக இல்லாமல் இருக்கலாம், ஆனால் அவர்கள் குருதியின் நிறம் சென்னிறமே… அவர்கள் இருவரின் பிறப்பும் இருவரின் சங்க்மத்தில் உருவானது தானே? உயிர் இருக்கும் வரை மட்டுமே ராமன், ரஹீம், இறந்த அடுத்த நொடியில் இருவரும் பிணமாக மட்டுமே கருதப்படுகிறார்கள்.

மூச்சிற்கு முன்னூறு முறை ராமா, அல்லா, யேசுவே என்று சொல்லி அத்துனை கெடுதலகளையும் செய்வேன், இறைவன் என்னை மன்னிப்பான், ஒரு தாயைவிட 70000 மடங்கு அன்பு கொண்டவன் என்று அடி மனதில் நினைத்து, நான் எந்தவொரு தகாத செயலைச் செய்தாலும் எனக்கு மன்னிப்பு கிடைக்கும் என்று இருமாப்பில் இருக்கும் மானிடனே, மூடனாவாய் அந்த இறைவன் முன்பு. நல்லதை செய் நல்லதே நடக்கும், நல்லதை நினை, நல்லவையே பிறக்கும், எண்ணம் சிதறாமல் இருந்தால் உன் வாழ்க்கை சிதறாது. சிந்தையில் இறைவனின் எண்ணங்களை வை, அடுத்தவர் சிதையில் இல்லை…..

மதங்கள் என்பது மனிதனின் வாழ்க்கையை நெறி முறைப் படுத்தவே, இப்படி அடித்துக் கொண்டு சாஹவா? உன் மதம் உனக்கு பெரியதா, அதனை புனிதமாக பின்பற்றி அதன் புனிதத்தை எனக்கும் சொல்லிடு…

Be true to yourself

About Feelings:

I read from a blog.. worth to share than to re-write the same topic.

Lies We Believe About Feelings:

Most of what we currently believe about emotions is false. Here are some of the beliefs we have about feelings. These beliefs are not all inclusive, because each individual, each family and each culture has unique beliefs regarding emotions, most of which are not true. But knowing about these lies may help you to unravel the mystery of our past and how we got captured.

LIE #1: There are “good” feelings and “bad” feelings.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS ARE GOOD!

All feelings are good because they reflect back to us how an experience is affecting us. If we pretend that certain feelings are bad, rather than the experience is making us feel bad, it is like we are beating the wagon to make the horse move. Now, some feelings we do enjoy more than others; and we would like to continue to feel some feelings and stop feeling others. But the way to stop feeling an emotion we do not like is to stop experiencing whatever it is that is painful or hurtful.

LIE #2: We can decide how we are going to feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS CANNOT BE DICTATED.

You can choose to change your mind, but you cannot just choose to change your feelings, not without damaging your soul and possibly losing a large part of yourself. You can tell a child not to be angry at someone, but that will not stop the anger. It will only teach a child to hide the anger and suppress the feelings, AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, teach the child that feelings are wrong or bad. Feelings are important to us because they tell us what we like and don’t like. I will say this over and over again. I may react to something differently than you do because my reaction (which comes from my feelings), comes from who I am. You may not like to swim and your feelings tell you so. I may love to swim and my feelings tell me so. Each person is unique. Each person’s feelings come from the deepest part of the self, to tell us who we are and how we want to live our lives and what we want to do and who we want to be with. We must not let the mind or intellect tell us what to do, when it is contrary to how we feel. The intellect, when it is working at its best, is making decisions for us and for our good based on how we feel.

LIE #3: Feelings lie. They are an unreliable barometer of the truth.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH

Our emotions are our surest way to know what is true about any situation. Our emotions always tell us the truth long before the mind can understand a situation or discern danger. This is partly because the mind is primarily a linear thing. It sees, thinks, and makes decisions in a linear fasion. Whereas the discernment that comes from our soul, our emotions, is very different. Our emotions respond to feeling nuances in a situation as a whole, even without mental understandings. You might be used to thinking of this as instinct, intuition, gut reaction, sensing. Whatever you call it, the emotions have the power to keep us safe and help us understand the world and ourselves by telling us the whole truth about a person or situation. However, there is a problem: when emotions go unexpressed, they freeze in time. What this means is that we often respond to a present day situation with a backlog of stored frozen emotions from our past. This is inappropriate, obviously, but that doesn’t mean the emotions are lying. All it means is that in order to be able to respond and feel truly in the present with all of our resources, we need to heal all the old trapped, frozen emotions we have locked up in the attic.

LIE #4: Once you have experienced emotional trauma and deep pain, you are stuck with the feelings forever and must learn to live with them, overcome them and ultimately suppress them.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS, PAST OR PRESENT, CAN BE RELEASED COMPLETELY AND WILL BE GONE FOREVER.

Once feelings have been released, wonderful natural processes begin to spontaneously activate. A re-evaluation process takes place and gives you new understanding. Awarenesses that you did not have before lead to changed beliefs and new decisions, and an outpouring of love and forgiveness takes place automatically. There is no hurt that cannot be healed, whether it is a hurt we have given or hurt we have received. All hurt feelings can be released until they are gone. This is part of the miracle of how feelings work if they are allowed to function naturally.
Our feelings must be allowed to surface and we must process them if we are to understand what they have to teach us. Unprocessed feelings do cause many problems. But feelings that have been accepted, honored and allowed to move through tears, are the most valuable tool we have.

LIE #5: You are what you feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ARE NOT SET IN STONE AND THEY ARE NOT AN INDICATION OF WHO YOU ARE.

As long as emotions are allowed to express organically, as long as they are not suppressed or judged, they can heal and evolve. You can feel murderous hatred and desire to kill someone. This does not make you evil or bad. This doesn’t make you a murderer (unless you ACT on the feeling). All it means is you have a feeling that needs acceptance and expression, and once given those two precious gifts, will move itself to healing and will no longer be whatever it was. It will evolve naturally and spontaneously into something else. We all suffer under the weight of this lie that says what we feel is who we are, and therefore we try our best to suppress all feelings that we judge as bad, wrong, evil, or unloving.

Survival of the Working Women

Today I was in a mood to write about house wives, but suddenly something in my routine stuck me very badly to write about the sufferings of the working women.

It is a known truth that the women have to face problems by desirable feature of being women.  I am discussing today about the women who are paid for their employment. This article is not about the bread-winners of the family. For the bread winners there is no option, they have to work for the sake of the survival, but these women are not working for their luxurious life. There are some who are very ambitious and wants to shine in their professional life. There are some women come for work whose husbands do not earn enough or they are unable to handle the burden of the family.

Those women who are at home are not anyway lesser than the working women, but working women has to do both the role with utmost care and concern without being disturbed in both their professional and personal life. 

All the successful women in their career are through sufferings only. All our success are with great sufferings.

It is a subject which is going on in my mind for some time but now the time has come by seeing the struggles with the married women who are working with me. I wanted to discuss about those working women to their husbands and to tell them about the problems of the women who earns equal or more than their husbands and doesn’t know or don’t have time to know anything about the outside world other than the family and working environment.

There was a time where the women will choose their career like nursing, teachers, secretaries and those jobs that are in the assembly sector (routine job), wherein they restrict their career growth for the welfare of the family and to take care of their beloved kids. Now the trend has changed drastically, wherein women work more competitive with men and spend equally or more time in the working environment.

The struggle for the women starts even before getting a job; she has to start the fight for the role as the gender bias creates an obstacle at the recruitment stage itself as she is a woman.

The age-old belief of male superiority over women creates several hurdles for women at their place of work. The age differences comes in as an issue, if she is young, then it is harmful to have her within a group of guys, if she is older than also it is difficult to have her in mid of young guys as they don’t feel comfortable.

Women on the way up to the corporate ladder find it very difficult because that they have to be much better than their male colleagues to reach the top. These women are not given equal importance to climb up in the ladder but they have to give extra mile to climb up.

Once at the top male colleagues and subordinates often expect much greater ability and efficiency from a woman boss than from a male boss.  As a woman even I have the bias due to the social and psychological belief, I don’t lend support to have women in my team.  (Because they cannot stay back and work)

Working in such conditions inevitably put much greater strain on women than what men experience. These problems tend to make women less eager to progress in their careers. Indeed many of them choose less demanding jobs for which they may even be over-qualified. A woman’s work is not merely confined to paid employment.

It is really irritating factor for me to feel for them because I don’t like to feel pity for someone or for self. If at all I can do something, I will prefer to do it for them and not feeling pity for them.

In the recent times, when I see the sincere, hard-working women who are married and sufferings back home after their work or during the working hours really makes me to feel irritated and I want to become one more Kannagi to destroy these kind of men in the society.I can hear that someone saying why not as Phoolan Devi, Yes I do want to become anything to stop these atrocities, arrogance of the stupid men.

These married working women who have to almost or always shoulder the burden of household chores very well than the working environment. A woman could still bear up with these problems if she had control over the money she earns. But in most families even now her salary is given to father, husband or in-laws. So the basic motive for seeking employment of getting independence is totally nullified in many women’s case.

There are some women who don’t know what the pin number of their ATM cards is and simply they will say husband will take care of everything. I don’t even know what is their bank balance is, he handles the financial part for our family.  He should handle the financial part of the family without depending on the women’s salary is the role of the head of the family.

A woman has to work, earn, be at home on time, take care of the kids, serve the husband like a slave, are we calling this as women freedom?

When I see the husbands calling their wives to know about their whereabouts during working hours and I see some of the male colleagues receiving the calls from their house wives who are at home.  By large there is a lot of changes in the communications of a call from a husband to wife and from a wife to husband.

When it is from a husband to wife, the woman who is working has to tell he husband about her whereabouts or what she is doing without even thinking about the surroundings.

Indian working women do not get the respect they need from their male colleagues in the workplace, it is because of these Indian men who doesn’t know to give respect to their wives as a professional.

When it is from a house wife to her husband, the guy from his desk responds instantly that he is busy with work without even thinking about the surroundings. Is it because of the gender bias or is it because that the house wife is disturbing the man who is at work? Is it not a disturbance call for the working woman from her husband when she is at work?

When these husbands will realize that their wives are not given a separate cabin to discuss or explain the routine of hers from office. Even those guys sitting inside a cabin will not be lovable or soft speaking to their wives as everyone works under pressure.

Why don’t these men think that these domestic pressures in women will lead to physical and mental problems like depression and psychiatric problems?

When our gentlemen(still I am calling you guys as gentlemen for the care and concern) will realize that women also have the career aspirations?  

I really don’t understand these men, why do they want their woman to work, if they don’t trust or give them the liberty to work?  We women are not fools to spend our time at office unnecessarily. There are men who will go for playing snooker, billiards, table tennis or any other sports as part of their working time, but it will be very difficult for these men to find out such woman who is ready to leave their responsibility of their kitchen and kids and going for playing for their self relaxation or for health consciousness.

My dear gentlemen, provide your wife the comfort that she is a professional and accept that you are a husband of a professional woman. I have seen guys who never question their wives while they are at work. I really admire those guys for giving that freedom to work. It is a boon for the wives and these wives can see success in the corporate sector and it is easy for them to climb the ladder when they get the support from their better half. Even if they don’t get the support in the household works, women can manage it, but if the husbands become bitter half, then their personal and professional life goes for a toss.

Balancing the personal and professional environment is not an easy task and those who are trying to show their manliness qualities of having rights to know about their wives, please try to handle these responsibilities of women for two weeks, then you will come to know who is the stronger/strongest and I wish that wives also should start questioning these men in such a way they have to leave both their personal and professional life which is very obvious from a man, but a woman will stay stronger with a smile and say them better luck next time.

There are lots of issues that they face in the working environment which can be shared with the husbands and few cannot be shared even with the husbands not in an intention to hide it from them, but to keep them cool and happy. The sufferings of women if known to men, we think that the men will feel for it and repent badly for making their wives to work for the sake of the family.

When we can think on your behalf, why don’t you think on our behalf? Is the brain of women only has got the ability to think for men? Why don’t these men think from their wives shoes? When will this change come in place and when can we see our ladies doing their work happily without having a fear of personal life? When can I see the natural smile of my fellow colleagues without any mental trauma?

I hope answers will get in few decades with the next generation or the male chauvinism will still go on forever?

Ramadan Fasting by Non Muslim

Ramadan Fasting by Non-Muslim

The reason for me to quote some of the Prophet’s sayings is because of my few friends. They told me, you are not supposed to fast during Ramadan as like a Muslim, and it is not going to be rewarded or accepted by God. I am happy if god accepts my fasting, and I am more happy god rejects my fasting also. I will keep my faith and trust in god and I will continue my fast during Ramadan, if I am in UAE. I don’t fast for the rewards, I fast because of my beliefs. I fast because of my trust in god, I fast because it is a commitment between me and god.

I know those who tried to stop me really care about me and they don’t want me to do some sin in the name of fasting. Above than the Sin, they also care about my health conditions. I can quit fasting for their love, care and concern for me, if he would have said that my dear, stop your fasting and am asking this in the name of my love, care and affection. But he said, that it is not accepted by god which I can’t accept it. If it would not have been accepted by god, god would have asked me not to fast or by any chance it would have got stopped. As I was trying to keep the remaining days of fast of last year, I was not able to do it because of cold cough and phlegm. If it gets stopped on its own, I will not feel bad also. I will take it as God’s plan for me.

I have not taken something very hard to follow in life or a very strict thing that requires more concentration, patience or anything in life. You just need to have love, care, affection, peace, harmony, friendliness, trust, faith & belief in what you read and what you do. I love to follow what I read and I prefer to do to the perfection.

I was very curious to reply to my friend/brother and asked them all the required questions, but I was not able to keep cool, because for me fasting is very religious, sacred and sensitive.

I do believe in the pillars of Islam, I know for sure that I can’t make all the five pillars of Islam. Especially the last one Hajj, all others are possible as a human and Hajj is meant for a Muslim and I can’t go for it. Five Pillars of Islam are (Shahadah – Faith in One God(Allah), Salah – Prayers (5 times), Zakat (Charity), Sawm (Fasting during Ramadan) and Hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah).

Faith Simple, I do believe in one god, I know the world has got only one supreme power and we call it as GOD. As a Hindu, I name the god in different names, forms etc., to bring in my concentration towards that supreme power. I believe in Prophet as a messenger also.

Prayers – I don’t do 5 times prayers like a Muslim, but more than a Muslim, I wait for the Azaan and I do think about god and it is not only 5 times, I think about god more than 5 times. I pray more than 5 times not in the way Islam says. I do a bow to god and thank him for giving the day and being with me all the time.

Zakah – Charity, as per Hinduism what you give using right hand should not be known to left hand. So what I do should not be known to anyone. Charity begins at home and I wish my first, second and third circle of relatives to be happy.

Fasting – I have started it for some specific purpose, but the fasting is towards god and with a special prayer in it. I don’t fast for my needs and when I do it, I don’t wait for others to say break the fast, I will break it even to make a party more delightful or to make someone happy with a dinner party. I love to give up my personal requests/plea/prayer for others smile.

Examples of the Prophet’s Sayings

‘God does not judge according to your bodies and appearances but He scans your hearts and looks into your deeds’.

I don’t know how many of you believe in this, but I truly believe and I know that my fasting will have a meaning, if not also, I will not say that there is no god, may be my prayers are not valid for the one whom I do the fasting. I will not consider that my fasting has gone in vain. I will consider god has given me the strength to pray for the one who has done the worst to me in my life.

I will thank god for giving me the clarity to love someone, pray for someone, fast for someone and to wait patiently for the result and I know that he will give me the heart to accept whatever is his plan in her life. I strongly believe that everything has a reason in our life and my fasting also has a reason in my life. He would not have made me to keep the fasting, if it doesn’t have any meaning. I would have witnessed the Ramadan Fasting as like earlier years (2010 & 2011).

Two years back, I told one of my brothers who invited me for Iftar to break his fasting. I told him, whole day you are fasting and I can’t come to Iftar to break your fast with you because whole day I am eating and I don’t fast. I told him don’t take it negatively, I will keep the fasting like a Muslim one day, then I will break it with you. It is because for the faith what he has in Islam and I love to appreciate his faith and his belief. I didn’t get a chance to break my fast with him when I was fasting last year.

‘God has no mercy on one who has no mercy for others’.

I really wonder, whether these words are being considered as the words of God through his messenger Muhammad. Why I have this doubt? I have seen many Muslims in the recent time who claims that they follow their religion from the bottom of the heart, who do believe in one god, who do 5 times prayers and who will be doing zakat also and who has followed the Ramadan fasting also as their tenet of religion.

Simple question to you my dear….  Are you after the above words? Do you know what MERCY is? If so I don’t need to say this now. People around me has got lot of mercy in them, but they feel pity on me and they try to show their love by saying not to fast for the one who has done so much.

‘None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself’.

Do you have this instinct? I don’t think so, why god always tries to give this problem to me is what the question will come to all of us, but we will never think that when god has given something beautiful or amazing in life to be given to others.

‘He who eats his fill while his neighbor goes without food is not a believer’.

If so there will not be any beggar or poor person in our surroundings. I have been asked my neighbor Farooq everyday whether I had my breakfast/lunch/dinner whatever time he used to have food at home or when we meet at home, without asking this question, he will not eat. But is it with everyone? I know they don’t even ask their colleagues nearby and eat without even knowing whether that fellow colleague had food or not. It is common with every Muslims I have seen. Where is the humanity?

Quran teaches Humanity, core disciplines of Life and I have not seen even the basic disciplines in many Muslims. You people without humanity, started accusing the one who is fasting for the sake of someone else, considering this is as a holy month.

‘Powerful is not he who knocks the other down, indeed powerful is he who controls himself in a fit of anger’.

Where is it?  As you think, let me assume that I knocked you down, where is the power in you to control yourself? You have shown your anger in a beautiful way, not even anyone could dream to do it. let me again assume that it has not done any harm to me, it has done harm to your reputation, it has done harm to your character, it has done harm to me, because it has affected you in your ways.

‘A man walking along a path felt very thirsty. Reaching a well he descended into it, drank his fill and came up. Then he saw a dog with its tongue hanging out, trying to lick up mud to quench its thirst. The man saw that the dog was feeling the same thirst as he had felt so he went down into the well again and filled his shoe with water and gave the dog a drink. God forgave his sins for this action’. The Prophet was asked: ‘Messenger of God, are we rewarded for kindness towards animals?’ He said, ‘There is a reward for kindness to every living thing’.

Do you know the meaning of Kindness? If you can’t be kind to the one who loves you the most, how can you be kind to those who are around you as family members, part of your life, colleagues, friends, and enemies?

How will you show your kindness to those who are around you? Is this the way you follow your religion?

To be honest, when I read the Quran, when I take the holy book in my hand, I feel so scared because I know for sure I am going to shed tears because of you, I will feel every time, how can she be like this? How can she do this? How can he do this? How can he be like this? Are they reading it by knowing the meaning of it? Is it your mistake or the mistake of your parents who has not taught the inner meaning of it?

God, this is a plea to you, keep me cool, don’t harass me through these fellow people, I am already undergoing hell lot of pain and these people without knowing the meaning of what you have said, they are trying to kill the good deed of someone. Bless them and make them to understand what is required in this world. Humanity or ________????

I can simply say that a clean heart is the Masjid of God or the temple or the Church and I don’t worry about all your negative comments. Above all, I am not keeping my fasting for some worldly treasures. I am not going to gain or lose anything because of this fasting. I might lose my health for a while but not forever. 

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Gandhi

I don’t want to close in a negative node when it is faith and belief. I take my faith and belief as Ocean and one or two dirty people might come and try to kindle it and make it dirty, but once the ocean gets settled, it will be the purest in form. My faith and belief in God is also the same. God, who can test me other than you, only you can do that and you know my strength and you know my weakness, if you send someone to play with my weakness, then it is not my fault and you are trying to test me. You are trying to make my weakness as a strength.

Above all Religion is my own way of having the communication with God, as I have with you.

For the sake of Humanity, love, peace, care, affection or even as an elderly person, if you say, please give up your fasting, I am ready to do it my friend…. As you used to order me, say it in the name of Love, not in the name of Religion my dear brother.

God, I will hold you and only you and if I have to fail in my attempts, let it be in the name of God and not by any human. If you feel that it is a sin, please do give me the punishment for the sin and if you feel that praying for someone is a good deed, please give all the benefit to the one for whom I pray and started this fasting.  Ameen

Are you not Happy ! !

Are You Not Happy?

Normally I used to feel very happy all the time and it is my inborn instinct that I do care about my failures but I never get carried away with my failures. Most of the time, I analyze a lot instead of living, which is the biggest mistake but I have spent half of my life like this. This time also I wanted to share something out of my experience only, but in a different way.

I have to say thanks to Ramanand Sagar and B.R Chopra for producing the two great epics in the Indian Television. Even now I remember each and every episode of Ramayan and Mahabharat and the way of it was made as a television serial made my father to watch it. We were forced to watch it initially and then the interest piled up in us and which gave us a path to learn the language Hindi during the initial stages of the serial.

I am quite sure that have not missed not more than two or three episodes of it. It was a great learning for me. Apart from these two great epics as serials, I remember that I read Mahabharatha as story book during that time (1988) because I wanted to understand the dialogues of Hindi.

The Bhagavad Gita has influenced many great thinkers over the years and there are so many famous personalities across the world have given great quotes on Bhagvad Gita.

Geeta Saaram

Why do you worry without cause? Whom do you fear without reason? Who can kill you? The soul is neither born, nor does it die.

Whatever happened, happened for the good; whatever is happening, is happening for the good; whatever will happen, will also happen for the good only.

You need not have any regrets for the past. You need not worry for the future. The present is happening…

What did you lose that you cry about? What did you bring with you, which you think you have lost? What did you produce, which you think got destroyed?

You did not bring anything – whatever you have, you received from here. Whatever you have given, you have given only here. Whatever you took, you took from God. Whatever you gave, you gave to him.

You came empty handed, you will leave empty handed. What is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow. You are mistakenly enjoying the thought that this is yours. It is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrows.

“Whatever you took, you took from God. Whatever you gave, you gave to him. You came empty handed, you will leave empty handed.”

After Reading the Essence of Geeta Saaram,

Questions were flowing like a river in my mind like anything….

Have you lost your vision? Have you lost your passion?

Have you lost your hands? Have you lost your legs?

Have you lost your parents? Have you lost your man? (even this will pass away including yourself)

Have you lost your job? Have you lost your memory?

Do you have debts which you can’t settle? Do you need a job?

Answer to all of the above was No.

That means you have everything, my silent answer within myself was YES.

What do you want to do? Do you want to take revenge? No

Why you are not happy? What is your problem? I don’t have any answer for this. That means unnecessarily I am haunting myself for unknown reason.

How I used to be? A lovely butterfly without a negative thought about tomorrow. How I am? Only with negative thought whether I will be able to fly and what for? Why I have to feel sad for nothing? What I have not missed in my life?

What am I going to get is what should be in my mind rather than what I missed in my life? What made me to feel so much to feel dejected for anything and every-thing? Why I have to leave my Personality (Attitude, Boldness, Charisma,etc.)

Always I used to think of the people who have more problems than mine. When I took some bold decisions in life at 20 years, I know for sure the world was not with me, but I didn’t care for others and I am the one going to face it and I will make the world to face me proudly. I thought about those who were in miserable condition than me and without any chance to take such kind of boldness. I felt I can take this decision now as I don’t have any commitments.

I have two hands, two legs, good vision, sound mind, knowledge and ability to do things on your own.

I have little Knowledge and wisdom to survive in this world. God has given people around me to guide me and a strong shoulder to face the problems and not to fight the problems.

What is less in you? What else you need?

Men may come and men may go, you will be there till the time the fate of your life is there, why to haunt yourself for unworthy things.

It is like learning lessons from our mistakes and I am proud that I used to learn from others mistakes as well, because one life is not to learn only from our mistakes.

One of my friend was trying to give me a gyan in many ways and finally scolded me like you are good for nothing.

The problem with you is you are thinking too much without acting on it. Whatever you think might be correct but unless you act up on it, it doesn’t solve any purpose. Please stop thinking from now on and start acting on your thoughts.

You are ready to accept your mistakes but why don’t you forgive yourself for what you have done? If you don’t forgive yourself, what do you want to do? Do you want to carry your life like a hell?

You are born to live, conquer the world. You are not born like a normal people, born out of love/lust and die with the same lust/love. You are born to do something more than that and you have the power in you.

Show the power and do it for the one who has belief and trust in you. Above all show it to the world that you don’t grieve for your own sufferings and sufferings has made you to reach the milestone what is destined for you.

My dear friend, The conversation what we had nearly for two hours was like a Geeta Saram for me, neither you were lord Krishna, nor I was Arjuna, but the patience in listening made me to listen to you and you are one among those whom I listen as well.

I don’t need 700 sloka’s of the entire Bhagvad Gita or Upanishad or Veda or any other holy books to bring in this acceptance. What a power of Geeta Saaram?

I felt that each and every word of the Geeta Saram was told by my friend today(Assumed Raazmatz as Krishna and myself as Arujuna). I followed it religiously, for some time, I forgot it or my eyes were tied or like some black magic kind of thing. I have to feel happy that people come in our life for a reason but some come in to distract ourself from the basic ethics of life. God will send some creatures in our life to test whether we are still trusting god or not.

Do I need any other thing in this world to bring my happiness? I am happy and I will make others also to feel Happy…

With a beautiful smiles..