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Rape- Rape-Rape

Getting accused for own mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Rape is an act that the strangers using their force over a woman to satisfy their lust, using their power. Rapes are not the actions that are for the physical needs of a guy with the concern of the girl. I hope the guys who read this will agree to it. If so we will not have the basic concept of love, marriage and the system to follow in any culture or any part of the world.

What is the society trying to say to my Indian woman, be submissive and dependent? Yes we are dependent on these guys around us to keep ourselves safe and pure. We are not dependent on them for anything else.

I really feel ashamed to say am a woman today because of the way our womanhood is being handled all over the world. I am ashamed to say a word for females as we are doing evils by exposing the Nirbaya to the world. If we can’t secret of a woman who was brutally raped and died as a victim, what are we going to do?

RAPE is one of the thing which goes around my mind from the time of Nirbaya. There are many more Nirbaya’s happening every day in every nook and corner of the world.

The statistics say that for an hour there are 3 woman is getting raped and the so called woman age starts from the age of 3. Guys should feel shame but we still hear that a 2 or 3-year-old baby is raped and taken to hospital.

How this 3 year woman can have faith and belief in you ?

A rape is  like you are an experienced driver but due to the negligence of other driver, you have all the chances of getting killed in an accident.These rapes are not even negligence of the woman but the brutal act of male chauvinism. 

GUYS there is no such stupid statements as guys and girls are equal, the equality is shattered and we are inferior only when someone is trying to take something out of me without my concern, you become more powerful. When we resist, you become more aggressive and violent for rejecting you.

There are so many people in the world who continue their life as  normal like others without even saying out that they are the victims of rape or harassed by the guys around them.

As all the rapes are happening outside my house, I am not ready to discuss it further or take it as a serious threat to womanhood. Why the entire nation is not ready to give their support for the rape victims and to protect their information secretly and to conduct the cases faster and to give justice in short period. The rapists have to be hanged in public. I am not a wild animal, but we should show to the society, if you behave like a wild animal, you have to be shot to dead.

Fear of life will certainly not make them to do these kind of violence’s not only in a female life, but also in anyone’s life. 

Why does the rape happens is what is going on in my mind?

Is it because of the Equality?

Equality has not led to these changes. Equality means, you are having fun, talking with your friend about a girl or anything, needs to be with your friend who can be a girl. This a girl as like your friend like  your friend who is a guy. Don’t have the sexual attraction towards them.

Is it because of the women liberation? Freedom for women? I will say that it is not the reason as the rapes are not happening in the recent time, it is happening since long time, when the women were not even coming out of their houses. Now the some cases are coming out due to the power and existence of the media.

Is it because of sexual frustration? If Yes, ideally only men have to be raped not the women. Expectations of a woman are not fulfilled in most of the marriages and the woman has to live in dreams and continue her services with the household and other activities for the sake of the family. I can’t say it as sexual frustration but as sexual violence. Every Human is a social animal but not every human is a wild animal to go to this level.

Is it because of the Age factor? We are not stopping any guys not to get married earlier. Yes Child marriage is not legal.

Now the guys are so much matured and responsible that they don’t want to get into any commitment before they get settled in their profession and to manage the personal life. Even the girls are not interested to get in to the well at early 20’s and they don’t want to delay it to late 20’s as well.Both the sex prefer to get into the wedlock when they feel that it is time for them to start their new phase of life. So no one is forcing them, it is their choice to be single. If it is so then there should not be a chance for the Rape.

Why this Nirbaya or the other cases come out is because of the way she was tortured, brutal assault and she was struggling for her life-like anything. As said by the accused, she was fighting as much as she could avoid the rape. In all other cases, the victims surrenders themselves knowing that they can neither fight against these scoundrels or with the society after the incident.

I don’t wish this to happen to anyone even in my wildest dream but just for the sake of this discussion, if it happens to us or someone in our own family, would we be able to treat it as an accident and get on with life as before? Is it possible for us to recover from that situation to normal without any agony?

What will I do, if I am a victim of rape?

Either I have to stand up and shout or I have to keep quiet and live as a normal life.

At first instance itself I will fail because the man who prepares his mind for a rape is stronger than the woman and she is not aware of the things that is going to happen in her life. In this case woman will not be mentally prepared to fight and physically it is not possible to fight against the man who comes to her fiercely. when it is more than one man, she will be thinking that one will help her to save herself from the cruel act, without knowing that there is no Krishna in that group. It is like a goat fighting with ferocious lion. Lions will succeed anyway.

Now the question what will be going around that moment in my mind is whether to surrender with this lion or to get killed every second by the people around me, the so called society?

Assume that I am a rape victim, what will be my husband’s reaction? Will he treat me like before? Will he have the mind frame that it is not an intentional incident or betrayal by me? Do I have the option of having a normal life with him? Will he be ever happy again with me? Even if he tries to what is the society that is going to offer us? Even if the rape happens in front of his eyes, he will not be able to accept me as like before. This is the mind-set of our guys and we all are bound slaves of our society. I will not say that all husbands are stone-hearted or they don’t care about their wives. It is how the society accepts the rape victims.

Will my brother consider me as like before, will he be able to take me with him to a movie or to a temple?

What will be my father’s reaction towards me? How my sisters will react to the situation? what about their social statuses and how difficult it is to get a groom for them or for anyone to play a role in the society as a normal human?

Forget about how they handle me, everyone will start feeling themselves as if they were raped and they will start hiding them as if they are the victim of that rape. It is not only one person getting raped, but also the entire family gets into turmoil.

What about the extended family and I call each and every friend of mine as extended family? Do you think all my friends will welcome me with two hands as they are doing now?

Only person who will be with me all the way through will be my mother, but she will not live for long after knowing this incident as she will not be able to digest it. She would have dealt with me like the mother who did in the movie Sila nerangalil Sil manithargal of Jeyakanthan (again Lakshmi as Heroine).

If at all I was raped, then ideally as a common woman, I will keep quite only. It was my inability to protect myself from one or more guys and it is not my fault and it is the gender bias provided by god. Especially when you are in your teens, the way your body is built is not to fight and it will not have enough strength to fight.

A guy of 35 years who needs to satisfy his physical needs or society insult/arrogance with a young girl of 14 or 19 years will succeed in his attempts quite easily. When the girl tries to fight, then she will be harassed, stuck brutally and she has to undergo lot of problems.

When a girl becomes a victim without even knowing that she is going to be a victim has to surrender only rather than fighting this huge devil. Most of the rapes happens in this manner only. Girls surrender and they don’t disclose this to anyone.

Does it mean a guy is always superior than a female? Yes in this matter, because the pain and shame or whatever it is only for me not for the guy who has done it. When a guy becomes a wild animal, he is stronger than the woman. 

If at all I survive as a rape victim, I am supposed to keep quite without informing this to anyone – this means I should have a very strong heart and I am ready to fight this world with my own conscience. Only those who have gone through that trauma will know it. A movie by SP Muthuraman, Mayangukiral Oru Maadhu will say how difficult it is for a female to be a victim. (even though it is not a rape). It requires lot of physical and mental strength in woman to continue her life.

I am bold, brave, courageous, different, extrovert, friendly, outspoken, but what will I do?

I will not be able to say the truth even to one individual because if I say it out to one person, then it is not a secret and I have to struggle always with the person to whom I confessed. I have to live in a fear that when the other person will let it out.

What are the normal thing I have to hear if I share that I am a victim of a rape? The below listed are the talks which will come to my ears every now and then. It is not only for me, the entire family needs to listen to all the crap.

Girl who is extrovert will always have this possibility of getting raped.

A woman like you invites rape by venturing alone going in the dark. I am forced in so many ways, I am a divorcee, I am a widow, I am still single, I am mother of two children without husband, I am wife of handicapped husband, I am struggling for the sake of my family, I am the woman who needs to have her self-respect.

I am forced to go because of various situation, for my survival and I will not travel in the night time to get raped. If so, probably I would have chosen the other profession which is calling the rapist to come to me and we name them as a prostitute.

You cannot control on your own safety when the other person comes to you as a wild animal and what others do? I am not trying to invite someone to help me in the midnight.

Girls who dress with decently, don’t get raped. What else you want to wear a jeans and T-shirt or kurta is not enough for me to feel comfortable as decent? What about the woman getting raped who wears a traditional salwar or a saree as her dress?

Dress is not the matter for the guy who wants to rape a girl. It is the need of that particular time and a small wrong gesture from the girl also can initiate it to rape. Ideally if a woman is half naked also the guy is supposed to protect her not to rape her. You don’t need to give respect to that half naked woman, but give respect to yourself for what you are and you ought to be.

There is no such thing which can describe the character of a woman to get raped and it is the matter of the mindset of the guys and I don’t say all are wild.

It is the matter of maturity that needs to be brought in to the guy’s life. It is not the question of how the girl needs to be, it is time for the guys to know that girls are not for their sexual treasure without their concern.

If we see the few incidents that are reported in the recent times as sexual harassment or anything against women are being done when the so called women are submissive, dressed properly. Some are being kidnapped and brutally raped.

GUY’s It is not about what and who we are; it is about who YOU are. You don’t need to treat us equally but don’t try to show that you are super power by creating rape victims. Let your gestures make the girls to fall for you rather than going behind them or chasing them.

I really feel for the Nirbaya case because if it was happened in my house, I would not have let it to come out. I will not feel outraged or emotional or feeling sentiments. I would rather prefer to die than to get exposed so many times in different ways for someone else mistake.

Getting accused for thy mistake is always better than being victim of others mistake.

Just Remember the Movie Damini (Hindi) which was remade in  Tamil as Priyanka will depict the condition of the victim and it is not a film, it is the current situation of the women in India. This movie was pictured in early 1993 and I remember that I saw this movie in 1994. Now in 2015, I am writing that the status of the woman is same.

For sure, this movie would have come of late with lot of such rapes happened in the society over two decades ago. If that is the situation of today’s India, what are we doing or heading towards women liberalization? There is no improvement for the women’s life and there is no social security provided by the constituency.

We have seen 4-5 elections and nothing changed. In a month I hear that 5 victims news happened in the capital city which has come to lime light.

GUYS be like a gentleman, if you don’t know the meaning, please learn it from your mother, may be your father failed to show it to you at home. There are some psychological needs are there for men and they get aggravated easily because of their psychological issues.

For some the family itself could be a problem, for some the family could have abandoned them for their characters. Some are illegitimate children without knowing their identity. I am not blaming all guys are bad and not saying that all girls are very good.

Have you ever heard any guys getting molested in public or getting harassed by girls? 

Here and there, this will also be there but within friends circle, they will be giggling or making fun not with an intention to insult you. Even if someone insults you in public, taking revenge on a woman doesn’t going to solve this issue. Any assault done by you to a woman is going to harm you and your family reputation as well. It is not only create the woman as a victim, but you as  accused and as Convicted.

Law will take it’s own time, but your family gets insulted for no reason. Just before doing any atrocities against woman count from 1 to 100 and think your family, your mother, sister, daughter in that woman for whom you are going to do the harm. I am sure that you guys will protect her and will not try to harass her.

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Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

Glorious 5 Years in Arowana Consulting

I am really amazed to see myself from the year 2009 to 2014… How I was in 2009? What kind of great changes in 2014? How is it possible?

I am not sure whether it is because of Arowana or because of my Age. One thing is for sure that I am working with a good employer and probably I can say as best employer for me.

Why is it a big deal for me to write about 5 years in a company? 

Only very few know with whom I am very close to from 1994, that I hate to continue in one company or in one stream and I will not be able to do a monotonous job.  My resume also will speak about my switching careers, but it is part of life, but somehow I wanted to stick with one company at least for 3 years. My patience level with most of the companies is 11 months and maximum was 19 months, I will learn and earn and leave the company. (not matured to serve the company)

I can say that whatever I learned, I utilized all my experiences with Arowana to stick with them for 5 years. Apart from Utilizing my own experiences, I learnt the art of patience from Arowana. I have to thank them for the way they have given me the opportunities. I have shown my attitude, arrogance as like others but when it is required to show my self-respect and not to damage the reputation of the company.

Now I know that I can’t beat this record of 5 years with any other companies as I don’t have that much patience to work for long time.

I remember how I joined Arowana and it was not a decision I made to stay here for 5 years. In an anger, I resigned from my previous employer. Initially I thought to take it as break. I was working continuously without any break. Due to the market situation/recession, I was forced to take a long break almost for 5 months and Arowana’s offer was the first one on my way while I was enjoying the break. I took it to give an end to my break, thinking that I will work for 3 or 6 months with them and I will switch over. That was the opinion provided by the friend who was with Arowana at that time.

Arowana might not be a ROSE flower to smell and enjoy the fragrance but it is not a cactus. If anyone is feeling it as a cactus, please find your way is what I will say as an employee of Arowana. No one is forcing you to hug a cactus for your survival and the more you are hugging, you will feel it as pain and create pain for others. We are the plants and we make it as a rose or cactus and I believe in it, I move with that belief.

From the day of joining, I know the people who are close to me, known to me who was working with arowana, left the organization and from other companies friends also left, but I never felt that I have to leave or even I have not given a try to find a job outside. Couple of years ago I tried with one of the company in India, and that was a trial to brush my skills to attend an interview.

4 years back one of my best friends who know me since 1995 asked me about my whereabouts in Skype, I told her that I am working with Arowana consulting and am into ERP Oracle practice from 2004. To her great surprise, she questioned me, how come you are still with Oracle, I thought by this time you would have switched to SAP/Siebel or out of IT.

After a short conversation with her, she asked how long you are with Arowana, Please change your company as soon as possible. I was surprised to hear this, because one side she was happy that I am into ERP for long time and she doesn’t want me to work with Arowana. She is like one of my best friend whose words are like bible for me, I will follow her.

But this time, I asked her the reason for it. She said, the reputation of the company is not good, the more you stay with them, you are going to lose your value. May be that is one of the reason for me to continue such long or what I don’t know.

I told her with a smile in my face, company’s reputation is based on the employees not based on the employers. Arowana does well means its employees are doing well and Arowana is doing worst or bad, then it means employees are not doing well.

Above all, I don’t have any issue with Arowana and I am happy to be part of it. I will not search a job as long as I am working with them. If I feel that I have to resign from Arowana, I will do it without even thinking for a minute, but as of now I am happy. Absolutely there is no issue with the company. She knows how I came out of Singapore, in 1996, I have thrown resignation on the Manager’s face for not approving the leaves and I am still proud of that act. But I will not do such thing for sure in future, you learn from your mistakes.

There are people who used to leave the organization without giving the notice period, without serving the notice period. We do have some hiccup issues but I can manage with it. I am thinking myself as an employer as I have faced these kind of heat and I know the difficulties of running an organization. If someone wants to leave for such reason, let them go and even I will say don’t stop them.

I don’t have any issues either with holding the passport (I hold my passport) or with the leaves or with the medical reimbursements or with any other thing for that matter. There is a delay but it is a known fact and even when I refer someone, I used to tell them all these as facts and if you wish, you can send your CV.

Whatever you are reading from the consumer complaints or any other social media are based on the individual employees reviews and comments. Everywhere it is same that when you are going to leave the organization, we have to see the hatred at both the ends. No Company is good in that matter. If at all I have to get relieved smoothly or for any other reason, I have to do the needful. Tomorrow I might have to face the heat but I am sure that I will not face like others or cry for that matter.

At times companies like TCS, Infosys sends a team out. Arowana has not gained any bad name of sending its employees. Here and there they would have asked one or two cases to leave based on some comments or feedbacks from their customers.

The reason for sharing the above incident is to say that WE ARE THE PILLARS of the company and without me spoiling the name of the company, it will not get spoiled. I am trying my best effort not to harm my reputation and I expect the fellow Arowanites to do the same. At least for the salary what you get (even delayed, but still you are getting it), be sincere and faithful for what you are getting today from your employer.

Today on the day of completing 5 years, I can proudly say that I have got increments with my employer and I am happy with what I have got. The last increment was not satisfying but I don’t complain or crimp about it because it was done across the organization in the similar manner. I cannot demand more as I know what is the revenue that I am generating for the company. Apart from my Salary there are other components which needs to be considered and the profit margin will be less. I am an employee only, I don’t need to consider it, I can change my job. Yes no one is stopping me or Arowana is also not saying that “Dont Go” If I have something better than this, they will be happy to send me.

In one of the clients place, a CFO during the course of our conversation once said that Arowana has not done it properly and I asked him to repeat it, he said I have high respect for you, but Arowana has not done it well. I told him politely that whatever you are saying as Arowana implies only to me as I am representing AROWANA and how can you contradict with your statement?

In the Same Company, CEO has said that Arowana has got the best employees whereas I have not get the best.  When I heard that I am very proud of Arowana and not of that Company.

Every client will throw the bone pieces to its contract employees by saying that you will be offered here in our own payroll. When I was given the bones from the couple of the clients of Arowana,  I told them, am not a fool to join this company, which means I am at a better place.

Couple of days back, I got the chance to visit the client, one guy asked me, how is your career growth in Arowana, I said I am satisfied with my growth. When I shared my experiences, he said it is marvelous.

I always used to say that I am at a better place and if at all I wish to join some customers, I will do it on own not against Arowana. It is not an ethic to join their clients without their concern and also I love consulting. If I wish to leave consulting, then also I will get the other choices from Arowana. That is the belief and faith what an employee should have with their employers. Whether they guide me or they ask me the option I leave it to the situations.

Whether the career growth is measured in terms of money or position or the knowledge, then I am getting wise, wiser and wisest with the opportunities provided by my employer.

I may not use this knowledge after 5 years, but I will be using it for the next 5 years J

I am not a mouth piece of Arowana or I don’t have any share with Arowana Management , I am one like you who is waiting for the salary to come on expected date, waiting for the appraisals to happen and so on. I will also get the same treatment when I am going to leave the organization, but I give respect to my Employer, at least till the day I work for them. It doesn’t mean that I can write bad about the company for whom I served for so long.

As per the saying, Don’t love your company, I love my job and I don’t love my Employer but I give respect to my Employer for providing the basement for me to love my job.

When you are satisfied and content with your life, you can see happiness in anything and everything

Don’t compare a company which is in growing stage with the grown companies. If everyone opts only for MNC’s, how can we have many more MNC’s? In few years we will have some changes in Arowana also, but before that everyone will do the damage and leave the organization for their own benefits. If that is the case, then how a company can show its prosperity?

I know that I have learned in my learning path much ahead of the MNC’s. MNC’s Can utilize these skills but they can make us to learn what I have learned from Arowana.

What I sow is what I will reap and I want to be at peace. I am contented with what I have and I am happy with my employer. You can see lot of changes in me, both physically (Glowing because I am always happy), professionally I am growing matured (I have not raised my hands or voice at any one in the last 5 years)

Project – Consultants Vs Internal Team

This is one such pathetic experience what I am going to share now. In most of the Companies, either the business is driven by IT or the IT Projects are driven by the Business Process. I don’t know how to consider the below given experience as a business driven project or IT driven project.

This is one of the worst projects ever in my long career. I have seen many failed projects, but all those failures has valid reasons like scope was not frozen, due to time lines, due to changing factors in the requirement, due to the confusions from the consultants and adaptability from the customers to understand the functionalities that are available with the new system, Greek and Latin are the languages between the business and the consultants due to the lack of business knowledge for the customers.

I really don’t understand on what basis a project is being implemented in such a big organization. Is it to say that we have these products implemented in our organization or we use this product for our requirements? I really want to know 🙂

This is a scenario in which my role was a support consultant. Ultimately there was not role for me to play in this project. I was there to assist the vendor team with the current process (what is the current process, GOK – God only knows). With the support load, I was not able to be part of any of the discussions with the business or with the vendors and the way the project started its phase was really ridiculous.

Already they have a system or solution in place which is not 100% productive or in other words with lot of issues. Everyone knows the flows and flaws of the system, but they were not ready to clean up the mess which was already there in the system. Instead of cleaning that mess, they wanted to add some more features and functionalities which is being done out of the system.

The system which was used by them was like a broken boat, and we wanted the new system to be build based on the same broken boat. I don’t have a strong base and I wanted to build a huge ship on top of the broken boat.

As a support consultant, if you say that you are already in a sinking boat to the project manager or to the colleagues, beautiful answer from them was I know swimming, you don’t worry about it.

Hey man, I have to worry about it because I don’t know swimming and I can’t take the responsibility of my suicide because of you. It is not suicide and you are trying to kill me that was the thing going on in my mind.

Voice of the contractor doesn’t goes to the head of the department or the project manager or anyone who works for their own company. All my projects have to go on time, irrespective of whether it is being used by the business or not.

As usual for every success of the project the project manager will take the credit and for every failure, they will blame a scape goat.

I will start with the scape goat.

Scape Goat : Nevertheless to say

Sponsor of the project: I don’t know (whether it is from the business side or IT)

Steering committee: Only the same faces who involve discussing the issues and who has not taken any decisions for the same.

Project Manager: There was no such person who involved to be a mediator or to act like a professional bridge between the vendor and business.

Vendor : XXXX company

Vendor Consultant: A consultant to break her head for the project.

IT Team : Support team, whoever is free on that day, they will be called to attend the meetings and the information’s will not be shared with anybody else. If no one is free, no problem, we will handle it.

Testing Team: It is always said to be by business but in our case, we go with the vendor and the internal IT team, as they know the entire business in short span of time. Is it implementation or a part of add-in functionality like a new feature being introduced?

At times they will ask you to attend few meetings and later they will say not to be part of the project, because if you continue, you will not allow it to go live in the similar fashion, so as they can blame you for their failure.

Start Date:  The day they did the kick off

End Date: Business is unable to move ahead without this and the Scope is limited so ASAP (it was yesterday but today is fine),

Support: Support is not by the vendors who implemented the system, it has to be by the internal support team because the internal team has a rapport with the business users and was doing the support for the entire 250 or 300 users, who has twenty ear’s and 10 mouths to respond to all the queries from the business users after go live.

Height of this support is there should not be any escalation. (Who is Chariman’s Secretary, who is COO Secretary and who is what and who is normal user all this should be known to the bl**dy support consultant)

Go Live Date:  After go live one person has to go dead (They have already decided the scape goat and were waiting for the scape goat to come after the vacation)

Is it agony makes you to write, no it is my real feeling for that project and for the sake of the business.

After each day of my work, I sleep peacefully because of the satisfaction what I get, I am not here to entertain any foosl and I am here to serve for the organization goals is what needs to be in the minds of the project initiator and the driver of the project.

If someone feels that I am surviving in this organization by blaming someone for my failures, god is watching it and you have to answer for your mistakes.

Success is not measured by survivals, it is measured by the Effective Utilizations.

Scape Goats are not failures and everyone knows that it is blamed for others mistakes. I can say firmly that the projects handled in the above fashion will not yield any success either to the IT team or to the Business.

Jai ho with all your projects in the similar manner 🙂

My SAD – Miss you

This is a special thank you for the one whom I lost without knowing the reason…

Thank you for entering my life. Thank you for being Unique. Yet one more day thinking that you are not far away from me.

thinking-u

I used to tell you when I used to miss during the weekends or during our vacations that missing you makes me to feel more love for you. I don’t know may be because of that only you left me forever to love you more and more.

When we lose our loved one in the name of death, it is painful, but when we lose the dearth one without knowing the reason is more painful.

Many May come and Many may go, but the way I miss you can’t be measured by words. I keep myself so busy and I love two more like you, but still the pain in my heart is so much. I don’t think it can be repaired by anyone. I have one who will make me so happy with her presence and the other is like my Shakti, who will bring in all the powers even at the time of my deadly hours.

There is a saying that if someone hurts in the name of love, we need the same person as medicine.  I tried different medicines, but the pain of missing you is increasing rather than reducing. I tried to find my peace with a Sorry message, immediately, your sorry greeting card came into my life. I shared it in my Facebook wall and everyone started asking me to whom you are saying sorry, I was not able to tell them that this is a lovely sorry I got from you without knowing the reason for it.

There are some people who come for a reason and who leaves without any reason only. But your entry in my life has shown me a new phase in my life.

Life is as usual beautiful but if you are there in my life then it is the most beautiful place in this earth. As you have become my world, I am unable to search where you are as the place doesn’t matters, but the person matters.

will not return-stil waiting

Few of my friends asked me, do you still wish her and think about her?

Just because we don’t talk doesn’t mean that I hate her or I don’t care about her. I do care about her and love as I did before.

Do you think she reads your blog?  For sure, I know she will read it. If so, she would have responded to your messages, love or at least a word to know about you. It is not that she hates me, even if she hates me, she will read my blog and she will know that I am good, that is enough for her. As the way I say that I love her, she will also.

Sometimes, we forgive people simply because we still want them in our life, I want her in my life, if not as she was, at least as my dream daughter. I love her the most for making me to feel the most precious love of life. I have got all the happiness only because of that feeling what I got it through her. Only the doors of her heart is closed, but not the doors of my heart. I can’t knock it, but she has all the rights to break mine.

We don’t need communications through words. I am doing it to show it to her, even I wish to hear from her, but when I don’t get any news about her, god shows it to me in my dreams.

You will not believe also that I miss you more and more… now a days I dream a lot about you. What is a big thing in dreams? I am a day dreamer and I will not dream when I am asleep, but now you are coming in my dreams when I am in my deep sleep. It is new for me.

You know the way you came in my dream and told that I am going to be in Abu Dhabi. I was walking very fast in a Mall, suddenly I felt that I saw you and there was an eye contact with you, I came back to see is it you, yes it was you and there was drop of tears in your eyes and suddenly I got up from the sleep with tears in my eyes. It looks cinematic, but it is fact that I saw the tears in your eyes.

I don’t know whether this dream will become true or not, but I wish it to happen. I miss you the same way I was missing you in 2012 my dear SAD. Is it possible for you to make me SMILE once again ? Will this year 2015 bring that SMILE back in my Life?

Last Day – Experience about the company

How do you feel about your experience with this company ?
This is one of the most foolish question to be asked to a contractor when you are sending them out. This question is valid, when the C. Employee leaves on his/her own intention for some other projects. My instant answer to that super question was useless for me in my career. I was not wrong at all, because the internal experience what I got can be used only there, not in another company, unless and otherwise I work for the same industry.
Answer to your question, if it was in a team meeting
Wonderful Experience because of lovely colleagues, of course as usual  need to work with bunch of Jokers who neither knows what is a project delivery (Time duration only considered, risk analysis will never happen) nor a support activity.
Answer if I was leaving on my own
Working with this company was my pleasure and the learning curve was so high, I have not seen much of challenges or whatever I have come across were not new in this company but nevertheless it was quite good when the projects gets delivered.
After an awkward go live of a project, the way I have given the support, is one of the best what I could do in my career. I will not do such support anymore in my life. (That implementation was really pathetic), After 4 months of time, they can say that we had issues during the stabilization period and everything is fine now.
Bravo.. Kudoos but Don’t ever say that it there was no issues.
Answer if my employer would have asked this question
We are blessed to working with a better employer who can assign us in different projects. It will be great if you can concentrate more on projects and not the T&M style. I know the difficulties as a business but it makes lot of difference for both the company and the consultants as we will have some satisfaction that we are giving our time and effort for the sake of our own company not to your vendors.
Answer if one of your colleague would have asked the above question
Ideally you people have to answer for this question.
Answer if his boss would have asked the above question

There will not be any issues to your chair as long as you don’t hear from others. Don’t hear from anyone, just believe what they say are true. With this team, you don’t need to use your brain because they will make the things worst from bad.

Answer to a friend
I learned how all a management should not be with their external resources from this company. Don’t love your company, Don’t love your projects, Don’t consider your client as your employer.

Happy Birthday Amma

“When a mother put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world.”

Amma Happy Birthday ! ! !

A mother never exists before the birth of the kids, and I can feel so proud of being the eldest even though I have not done something great as eldest daughter.

You’ve been with me even before my birth and enthralling moment of being a mother needs to be learned from you, and one thing is for sure in this world is that You’ll stand by my side, as long as you’re on this earth.

I never gave you an opportunity to feel proud of myself as your daughter but in all the phases of my life you have been the most wonderful guide, philosopher and a friend who never made me to feel that I failed in all the phases of life.

I am still a proud daughter because I see my mother as a successful woman, independent lady, was very caring daughter for her parents, still lovable sister to her siblings, lovely lady for all the relatives and sincere and passionate hard working woman, very friendly colleague, adorable friend for everyone. Above all, you are our angel mother and the three stupid daughters are in need of you all through their life.

Today after spending 40 wonderful years with you, I am still the same useless daughter but proud of one thing is that you are my mother. Wishes can pour in all through your life from all the nook and corners, but being with you on your special day is the most wonderful moment which this daughter can do for you.

I don’t know how long it will take me to make you feel proud about this daughter but you can feel happy that all your daughters are so blessed to have you as our mother. We cherish each and every moment of your life and the moments that you dedicated for us. I love each and every small gesture of yours whether it is with us or with our kids or with our relatives or with your friends. You are the best in whatever you do ma….

A mother’s love is so special and a never-ending gift. A love from mother is always there for the kids, especially whenever the kids need a lift.

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you. – we will always think of you ma.

I really don’t know how to thank you for being so kind, lovable, caring for your grown up daughters and still keeping your spirit as a mother irrespective of your age and ailments. It is very difficult for us to handle our kids as like you have done with us. we need to learn from you to be so lovable to our kids.

You are the most inspiring personality of my world and wish I could do 50% of what you have done for us.

In the recent times, whatever cranky things I do, you never get heated up or show your anger instead you are showing your love and care so generously. Especially in my last trip, if I would have considered our roles vice versa, me as a mother and you as Uma, then I would have scolded very badly for riding that huge bikes, but as a mother you shared a beautiful smile and said your bike riding looks like an advertisement for a bike.  I don’t think I can do this with my daughter in spite of me riding the bikes and bullets. Similarly for the hair cut, this looks beautiful, maintain this and it suits you and you will look like Kiran Bedi. I expected you to scold me, but with your encouragement, I felt so bad because if you can do such encouragements for these small things for which it is not required, what all you would have done if I would have shared my thoughts when I was young.

I should have written it on your 60th Birthday, but somehow missed it because of Granny’s demise and other personal reasons.

When we hear this from you on our birthday’s we feel so happy and I know on this day you will be missing your mother more than us.

Amma, I am so happy to be with you and whatever comes on my way I will handle it with this happiness of being with my beloved family.

Amma, May gods fulfill all your small personal wishes and make you happy forever as you are now.

Happy Birthday Amma.  My Prayers for the day is to keep you smile and happy at least today without showing any hard face to you.

Dowry – Dowry – Dowry – Dowry

No to Dowry

No to DowryDowry

While I was talking to a friend a spark ignited in my mind with this topic ” Dowry system”. The curse of the dowry system comes into the mind of the father as soon as he hears that it is a girl baby. It is a curse to be born as a female in the India. This system is found in both rich and poor community.

We call the country as Bharat mata, all the river named as females but when a girl baby is born, we are feeling so scared to bring her up. The moment which a father needs to cherish, becomes a volcano, oh god, I have to save for her from now onwards to get her married. The parents of the new born are under pressure as they have to think about bringing up their little baby to brides are put to inhuman pressure by this so called society.

Dowry system – are these men selling themselves? Are we doing any barter system, barter is a system of exchange of goods or services for the goods or services. Even if it is a barter system, then the girl is going to the guy’s house with all the required household items.

I really wonder how a father do this cruelty to the daughters by giving them the dowry, jewels, car, household things?  Are these girls getting married or even we can’t say that they are buying the bride groom as these girls leave their parents and go to a stranger’s house. If these are the demands, then the groom has to come to the girl’s house, unfortunately the girls goes to the guy’s house to do the slavery, an additional servant maid in the name of daughter-in-law.

Are these girls being given justice? Do we women feel for this cruelty? Not really, we tend to take as much as we could and enter in to the new house. Till the time the women society wakes up and gives a warning to the community that they prefer to be single rather than marrying someone by giving dowry, only then we can see the changes.

Demanding cash, car, jewellery and costly home appliances and other valuables do exists in almost all the religions and communities.  Where the sacredness of the marriage lies when they do it like a business?

A marriage life that starts with such a business deal can never by happy. All the noble virtues of human beings like love, affection, sense of equality, gentleness, sympathy, kindness etc. are burnt like rotten corpses.

When you talk about marriage, talk about the capacity of the girl and guy to handle the life together not in terms of money, but interms of love, care, affection, understanding and compromises. How does the girl will get the trust of a man when he is getting handful (no suitcase full of money/no house full of money) from the girls family?

I am not articulating this in favor of women; I am speaking about this as innumerable women being affected. I am expressing this for the fathers who suffer to get rid of their daughters. I put into words to say that women are not burdens. I speak about this to bring up that the brides have feelings and they are also human and trying to motivate them by recalling their hopes & dreams.

Teach my women not to give up your hopes & dreams by giving up dowry. Is it not a great humiliation for the woman who has to serve all her time with the in-laws and husband for the sake of the family life to give dowry?

Are these fathers not feeling shame to get rid of their daughters by giving dowry? What kind of parents are you? Aren’t you doing disgrace for the womanhood?

Marriage is not taking dowry to make my daughter as your wife, it is give your love and care and make my princess as your queen, at least don’t send her as a servant.

If our guys don’t have the back bone, is it good to be with him and share or start your life with a guy who demands dowry and other stuffs to prove his capacity in the society. My dear young ladies, prove your capacity that you can live without these men.

Women are not saleable commodity and if at all also, we don’t need to pay dowry and it needs to be done by the men to prove that they are capable of making these women happy after they enter into the wedlock. I really don’t understand why should we do this crap marriage by giving dowry?

I am shattered by the way our fellow females are suffering because of these dowry system, what if even after fulfilling all the demands, if the girl has some problem or if the guy is not expected or if the guy tries to torture the girl for more money or for some reason, if the marriage breaks, who is there to support the female as the father has got rid of his responsibility, father wanted to throw his burden to other guy and he paid off his debt by giving her married to a worthless guy? Let the guy be a good person and if the guy dies in an accident then who is there to help the girl?  What will my daughter do to survive her next 35-40 years of life?

Father doesn’t have the ability to support her because he has done everything to her to get her married. Even the woman cannot tell that she is suffering because of the money what the parents have spent for the sake of her happiness. How are we going to handle the tragedies of the life faced by the women after marriage?

When the women themselves rise against the humiliation of dowry, the society would be forced to change its attitude to them. Women must be trained since girlhood that their life is not hopeless without marriage. They should be encouraged to have higher education. When the women themselves rise against the ignominy of dowry, the society would be forced to change its attitude to them

What you sow is what you reap, but if you try to say no to dowry today, it will save you and your daughter tomorrow. Give respect to the feelings of others, don’t crush the flower and try to smell it.