This is one subject which I was talking with my office colleague who was from a different country and more interestingly to other nationality to say that the life changes for a Girl in India after Marriage.
Marriage is not the unity of two bodies, but union of two souls as one with more care for each other, love for them, trust in them. Marriage changes drastically in both men and women, because they started to share their feelings for each other and start living together.
The changes are for both, but it is obvious that the changes in women are more as she leave her house and enters a strangers house leaving all the happiness and freedom and more importantly the love of her family. As like the guys, even the girls were living their life without any responsibilities and they are accountable only for their chit chats and small/big fights with their siblings.
This is one thing which the most men doesn’t understand that she comes in as a stranger and it is his responsibility to make her feel comfortable in the new house and make the relationship grow with each others in his family and to treat her as one in the family.
How to get prepared for a marriage?
It is not so easy to get prepared for the marriage. You can never be prepared for the Marriage. It is said that you are going to marry a person and become as a new personality. You will never be able to see you in you, because that you is going to change with a knot as ‘WE’. (Whether it changes for both becomes the question of the marriage life)
It is a change process of Girl to grow as a woman, but where in we expect the girl to act as a woman from the day 1 and that is where the problems in the family arises. Whereas the guy takes his time to change and grow from a guy to a man. He has the liberty to meet his friends, dine with his friends and to continue his routines as he was before marriage.
You will not know when you will grow and how you will grow and change in the relationship and how they will grow and change. It needs time for both the woman and man to get adopted for the change.
Whether the Girl gets married at 18 or 28, irrespective of her age, she has to become a smart woman, a great home maker as soon as she gets married.
As a spinster, she would never ever thought that her life will change so drastically upside down like anything after her marriage, if so she would have prepared herself for the same.
Most of the girls are grown up as like the guys and even more with love and care because she is meant to leave the house with a stranger as his wife and need to have all her life and happiness in her mother’s house.
It is true that the girl who is a spinster has the liberty for the following.
First and foremost is leaving her house and entering to a strangers house with 100 folds of responsibilities of about which she has no clues also. She has to leave her surname and take up her husbands name as her surname/second name which dominates to say that there is no relationship or responsibilities with her parents.
Early Morning is @ her convenience
Get up early by 9 or 10:00 AM, without any worries. If the girl is a school or college goer then she will wake up exactly 15 minutes before and get ready in 10 minutes, her breakfast along with her coffee will be ready.
For some girls, the coffee goes to her bed and she will wake up with her mothers face asking her to get ready for her classes.
After Marriage, she has to get up and make the bed coffee for her lovely husband and his family. There is no one to ask her whether she has taken her coffee. Even before the coffee shop gets over, this little girl has to get ready to make the breakfast for the family where the individuals will have their own choices.
Early Morning remains same for the guy – Either way he will get his bed coffee only change would be from mother to wife. There is no change in the way he gets up or going to bed as a man.
This morning becomes night mare for the women of India after having couple of kids, because it is mothers responsibility to get up early and to make them ready till drop them in the school.
It is a sweet responsibility to take care of the entire house members and it will become the prime responsibility for the women to take care of the needs of the immediate family members. If at all the in-laws are nice, then it becomes a sweet responsibility and she will start loving it without feeling it as a burden, but most of the cases it is wise versa and she does it only to save her marriage and to save the name of her parents.
The guy becomes needs to be more responsible if it is a nuclear family, because the house was taken care by his father and the finances were handled by mother and he was not accountable for anything at home. When he starts his life with a new girl, he has to be more sensible, responsible to handle everything.
Decision Making @ her Choice
This is one thing which the woman has to forget after marriage, she was the one who used to take the decisions be it for her day to day life or education or job. Before marriage it was only you will get affected and the actions after the decisions are going to impact only one person.
After marriage she needs to think more to take a decision as it is going to affect both of them and the decision whatever she is going to take has to be accepted by her husband and his family and at times the decisions are being dictated to her.
Increase of Patience to great heights
There was times wherein she will get high BP and fight with mother for more sugar in coffee or no salt in the food or scream with brothers for petty issues like for taking pencil or pen or cycle. When father shouts, she has the liberty to break out and cry, shed tears to bring down the normalcy at home.
After marriage, she will not have the chance to break out or vent out anything. She will be the one who used to add more sugar or no sugar or salt and there will be no one to ask permissions to use her things. This patience is the success key to the marriage wherein you suppress all your feelings to save your marriage and when you learn this Technic to suppress your feelings, the patience level increases.
It was easy for her to speak to her family members without even thinking anything as a word out of anger, but when it is after marriage she needs to think thrice before she speaks as it is going to harm her marriage life.
Priorities Changes after marriage
There was no priorities in life for both guy and girl before marriage. They were meant to go to school, enjoy their life with friends, have fun. Both of them would have been hanging with friends, working late night in the office, going for parties etc., As an individual, only friends, your job was the priority.
For the girls, needless to say that her priority changes from her to him and his family. She becomes more sensitive towards him and his family. She tries to make them as her. The you of her gets converted to him and his family as priorities. The changes of hanging out with friends very rare cases and even if they get a chance to hang around, her family runs behind her mind, family, expenses, happiness of the family goes on in her mind.
She says good-bye to her best buddies and she is ready to miss the most lovable part of her time with her friends, late night out or any tour and travel with her friends. She makes it as history and when someone reminds her then she thinks about it and say yes I was like that but now I don’t have time to think and even if she has time to think, she doesn’t want to do it as her mind keeps on thinking about this family of hers which never thinks her as one in that family.
For the guys, yes it changes but not to that great level of a woman. It changes from his family to his family with added responsibilities of his wife.
For the guys, it remains same irrespective of the family responsibilities being taken by him or not.
Become a visitor to your Parents house
You are being invited for your parents house for any occasions or to spend time with them. You are being treated like a prince in your own house which you used to enjoy when you were single and now the love becomes more but still your heart thinks about Your(his) family.
Life is beautiful today, Love it enjoy it and don’t ever think that life after marriage is going to be beautiful, but yes for sure it is beautiful with lot of challenges and changes in both of you.
Life is meant with full of change, challenge, courage,choices and compromises. Do the right choice to challenge your life with courage and to look forward for the changes what it brings to you in life with little compromises.
With lot of compromises, you can get good choice of husband who will challenge the world for you with courage and change his world as you.