Archive | February 2015

மங்கையின் துணிவு

CONFIDDENT WOMAN

என் வாழ்க்கையின்

வசந்தமென வர விரும்பினேன்

உன்னை, அவஸ்தைகள்

படபோகிறாய் என்று வேறு திசை

நோக்கிச் சென்றதனால்

பேதை இவள்  வாழ்வுதனை

முடித்துக் கொள்வாளோ??

இல்லையடா நான் வாழ்ந்து

அன்பாலே உலகை வெல்வேன்

அதன் மூலம்

என்னுள் இருக்கும்

உன்னை கொன்றுவிடுவேன் …!!!

என் வாழ்க்கை

கல்லும் முள்ளும்

இல்லாத பாதை

அல்லவே

அழகிய பாதையாக நீதான்

வரவேண்டும் என்று இருந்தேன்

இடையே இதுவல்ல

என் பாதை என்று

திசை மாறிட

எப்படி இரும்பாய் இருகிறாய் நீ ??

வேதனை என்னவென்று

விலங்கிடுமுன் வேள்வியாய்

பிறந்தவள் நானாடா !

உன்னை காதலித்த பின்

புரிந்து கொண்டேன்

எனது தவறு என்னவென்று

எந்தன் காதலது

கருமேகம் அல்லவே

நீ சென்றதும்

காற்றினில் கலைந்து போக !

இதயத்தில் எழுதியதில்லை

செதுக்கியது,

காலங்கள் பல ஆனாலும்

காதல் அழிவதில்லை

அழிவு என்பது

காதலர்களுக்கு மட்டுமே

உடலும் உயிரும் அழியலாம்

உணர்வுகள் அழிவதில்லை ! ! !

எழுமின் விழுமின்

vivek-strength

உன்னை தேடி வருகிறேன்

தனியாக நின்றேன்
துணை இல்லை
பணமும் இல்லை

பாசமும் இல்லை

துணிவு மட்டுமே எனது எல்லை

செயலற்ற பதுமையாய்
சிலையாய் நிற்பதில் பயனில்லை

சிரித்துப் பேசிட தெம்பும் இல்லை துணிவுமில்லை.

வெற்றிக்கு வழிக் கேட்டால்,

விலாசம் சொல் என்றார்கள்
இலக்கு இல்லாமல்

எதுவும் செய்யாமல்
எங்கும் செல்லாமல்

வெற்றியவன் என்னை வெற்று என்று

உதரிச் செல்வானே.. எதிலும் தோல்வி

வெற்றி என்பது எனக்கு

எட்டா கனியானது – எனது உயரம் போலவே 😦

வெற்றியே – உன்னை தேடி வருகிறேன்

இப்படிக்கு

எனது மறுபெயர் தோல்வி

Corruption

When the entire nation is talking about the anti-corruption, I am gonna to discuss about corruption. Corruption is one of the thing starts with bribing and it is not new phenomena in Indian History. Corruption is not only an Indian Phenomena but also widely spread across the world. Corruption, Cheaters are there from the beginning and there are a lot of people crucified, killed because of the corruption.

How does the corruption survive or to spread so fast?

Today we call the world as fast-moving world. we want everything fast. The reasons fr corruption could be many things like political reason, weak administration etc., which is going to say that my government is not effective.  I am not here to discuss about the Government issues or the Business needs which creates the huge corruption in INDIA.

What is the issue ? where is the issue? how to eradicate the corruption ? I don’t want to discuss on how to eradicate the corruption as there are many people started activities and talks are going on. Either they will clean or they will end up their life in the mud.

How I am seeing the Corruption? Where it starts?

Corruption starts from the home. I know most of you will be shocked. But I can say that each and every one of us learned corruption from our home and we teach the same funda to our kids and it goes on. It starts with the elders and it goes to the kids. For an Example. I want to go to the nearby shop to get some immediate stuff. I am not in a neat and clean attire or am busy with some other household activity. I want my son/younger brother to go and get the stuffs, who is busy with his own activities.

What do I do to make him to go and get the stuff?

I tell him, please go and buy this, he will say that he is busy with his work and if it is urgent, you go and get it. I will tell him please do this for me and you buy something whatever he likes.

What am I doing?

Bribing my own son/brother for my own necessity for the family. I don’t have patience to make him to understand that it is really required urgently.  or

I should have dressed up/finish my current activity and get the required stuff. I am not ready to do both the things.

Is it my laziness or understanding capacities or trying to get the things done of being eldest by showing the power and money?? how to name it?

Another Scenario :

I have son and daughter at home. what do I do with them? Always Bribing the kids. Bribing certainly not with money but with power and luxuries.

What do I do when my daughter doesn’t study? What do I do when my son doesn’t Study? I bribe them.

I don’t have the capacity to make them to feel that they have to eat or they have to study, I will simply tell them if you eat now, I will allow you to watch Pogo TV. If you finish your homework you can watch your Chutti TV.

Now a days kids are smarter, you tell them once, they will remember it forever. Instead of you telling it for the second time, they will say you want me to eat, then you should do this, I will study now, but you have to take me to Cinema.

How can I expect a cleaner or without corruption in  India when I am not able to handle the small kids?

Is it not my responsibility to make my daughter to eat food on time. Is it not a discipline that I need to inculcate in my son to continue his studies everyday as a routine.

Is it not my responsibility to give them the basic needs without bribing them?

Is it not my responsibility to train them about their responsibilities?

If I allow them to take bribe from me, am I not teaching them corruption? am I not responsible for the corruption?

If I teach them the basics at home, then they will learn the good and bad, do’s and don’t’s on their own.

I have to teach them the patience, how to avoid laziness, to follow the process, and to do anything with discipline.

CORRUPTION is not a  new phenomena, but to eradicate, we need to be disciplined.

Just that I can’t go and get a driving license in Dubai  and I am ready to wait with patience and ready to follow the process. I am ready to give up my driving passion also for the money what I have spent and I am not interested to own a car and drive on my own. I am ready to use the public transport. Why is it so? 

2nd Innings

Life was beautiful when I started working in Abu Dhabi 5 years ago. After moving to Dubai, it was really difficult for me to cope with the Dubai life and wanted to quit UAE, but some of the good colleagues and wonderful friends made me to feel that I can come across the pain what I was going through. There were many who touched me in beautiful ways and made me to feel that I am special to everyone in a unique wa y.

Yes it is and I do consider them as unique in my life. When I get involved in my work, I will get lost totally and the colleagues were so wonderful that I have be on toes all the time for their speed.

Year 2013 & 2014 went in Dubai, and those who know me with my problems were not nearer to me and that paved a way for me to come out of the problems. Infact I avoided many friends in Abu Dhabi as the things will go on around one subject. Slowly I started forgetting Abu Dhabi and my friends because of the new routines. At the back of the mind, only one name will go on about Abu Dhabi.

When I know that my second innings is going to start, everyone around me was very happy. I have to thank all of them for their love for me.

When I traveled to Abu Dhabi to finalize my room, I was not able to control my feelings and whatever was inside me for the last two years busted and was having sleepless nights.I was feeling that I will be normal in couple of days once I start  working.

First day of work was waiting for me to give the SHOCK of my life. The client place where I was supposed to work was nearby my room, and to my great surprise, when I went by walk to office, I was told that the office is getting shifted to Al Khalidya.

This is the place where I have not been in AUH during my first innings. There is a mall and hardly i would have gone couple of times in 3 years of time. When I heard the place name tears rolled and I want to go back to Dubai.

Do you believe in FATE? Yes I do believe in fate. Earlier I told that I forgot everything happened in my life. But God doesn’t want me to forget anything. That’s why he made me to move to AUH.  Khalidya was the place where she was living and I have not gone to her house, but unfortunately went with her in the same taxi and dropped her as it very late in the night.

Neither I was invited by her nor I wished to remember the area. Now everyday I come across the place and everyday I say here is somewhere I dropped her on that day. That day was really most important day of my life, may be that’s why I still remember the place.

Second Innings started with a great refresh of my memories. I don’t want my friends to kindle my memory, but god wlanted me to think and get suffered because of my love for her. Attachment is one of the worst feeling of the world. I am so happy with the world because of my detached life with them. It is not possible for us to have detached life with everyone. Certainly we will feel attached to 1 in 100000 and she is that one in Lakh.

Now during my everyday when I cross that place, I will smile and say sweetheart, you didn’t invite me… and lot of sweet memories will be going in my mind with a little pain in my heart.

EVEN THIS WILL PASS AWAY – Will it???

2nd Innings in Abu Dhabi

I never expected that I will get a chance to work again in Abu Dhabi or I will have the heart to roam around Abu Dhabi. I have the best feelings, best friends, best memories but few of the worst happenings made me to feel that I stayed in this place for 3 years and I forgot everything about Abu Dhabi.

My life was beautiful in that building and the moment I left someone grabbed all my happiness along with her. There are some people enter you life for a reason, for a season and for lesson. I don’t what I learned from this person, but even now it is painful but lovely and beautiful.

I lost everything for couple of months and it was very difficult for me to get on to toes with that pain. I will not curse even my enemy to have that pain in his life. If god has ears, he will not let anyone to suffer like that. 

In the last 2 years I have been to Abu Dhabi, maximum of 4 times and all the 4 times, I had to say that I was in a feeling that I am entering to my graveyard. Most of my friends used to say that you dont need to come to Abu Dhabi.

New Client, New place, New friends, new routines, new memories – I felt that I was totally out of my grief and pain. I was able to smile like before. I was able to walk without any tears. I was able to go for shopping. I avoided to meet the Abu Dhabi friends. Once in a while I used to call my best friend and we used to discuss on the current routines and family and end our call.

Life is beautiful and I always love it and live happily. I am of a person who can say that I am happy even in tears.

All my friends from Dubai were feeling so happy because you are going to the place which is heaven for you. It was heaven for me but they are not aware that I was feeling it as hell. I could not tell anyone that I am not happy to move to Abu Dhabi.

When I entered Abu Dhabi after a year time, I went to my previous client to meet the old friends. It was such a painful moment for me and the memories started rolling in my mind. I told my friend that I will meet him near that building and I was not having the heart to enter the building. Somehow somethings made me to enter the building.

One of my colleague saw me even before my friend meeting me and I was forced to tell him that I will meet him in the office. I could not recall that I was working in First floor. I have spent close to 2 years in that place and I am coming after 2 years.

When my friend told, we will meet him in first floor, I was not even feeling that we all were there in first floor. After going to the place, I recalled that I was working and was feeling like how many meetings, how many bottles of water in anger, how many phone calls, how much happiness, how much irritations, what all the pains I have gone through in that building. If the walls has eyes, that also will shed tears.

As long as I was in Dubai, I was not thinking about any incidents that affected me or touched my heart. But the moment I entered Abu Dhabi, my pain started and the way I entered the building, I was forced to see the entrance, where I saw her at last, who was not ready to see my face or to say a hi to me. (05th January’2013 I was brutally killed). I entered the building with a brave heart.

How can I forget that I was in First floor? How can I forget that all my users were in 6th floor. Only thing I remembered was that IT team was in fourth floor. Suddenly I remembered that project was my baby and I could not stop the feeling what I had for it.

Above all, when I went to that particular floor, yes I went there after 2 years and I was asked by DD to come there to meet all of them. I was not able to tell her that I don’t want to come there. I can’t see the one whom I wish to see. Even now I could not recall what was her extension number. I was able to smile with everyone and be cheerful as I was during my initial phase of the project. I didn’t throw my sight to the place where the person whom I miss used to sit. I was not having guts to see someone else sitting in that place and also I don’t want anyone else to feel my pain.

When I came out of that building I was the happiest person irrespective of missing someone whom I still love in the same manner. Life is all about giving love and I have given it to a wall, not to a human and it was my mistake.

One of the worst part of my Abu Dhabi second innings is, the moment I entered, I started feeling for her, but I really don’t feel that I miss her, because I know she lives in me. No can steal that from me or no one knows that my day and night starts and ends with the feelings for her.

What is more painful in Abu Dhabi…. will continue…….