Dowry – Dowry – Dowry – Dowry

No to Dowry

No to DowryDowry

While I was talking to a friend a spark ignited in my mind with this topic ” Dowry system”. The curse of the dowry system comes into the mind of the father as soon as he hears that it is a girl baby. It is a curse to be born as a female in the India. This system is found in both rich and poor community.

We call the country as Bharat mata, all the river named as females but when a girl baby is born, we are feeling so scared to bring her up. The moment which a father needs to cherish, becomes a volcano, oh god, I have to save for her from now onwards to get her married. The parents of the new born are under pressure as they have to think about bringing up their little baby to brides are put to inhuman pressure by this so called society.

Dowry system – are these men selling themselves? Are we doing any barter system, barter is a system of exchange of goods or services for the goods or services. Even if it is a barter system, then the girl is going to the guy’s house with all the required household items.

I really wonder how a father do this cruelty to the daughters by giving them the dowry, jewels, car, household things?  Are these girls getting married or even we can’t say that they are buying the bride groom as these girls leave their parents and go to a stranger’s house. If these are the demands, then the groom has to come to the girl’s house, unfortunately the girls goes to the guy’s house to do the slavery, an additional servant maid in the name of daughter-in-law.

Are these girls being given justice? Do we women feel for this cruelty? Not really, we tend to take as much as we could and enter in to the new house. Till the time the women society wakes up and gives a warning to the community that they prefer to be single rather than marrying someone by giving dowry, only then we can see the changes.

Demanding cash, car, jewellery and costly home appliances and other valuables do exists in almost all the religions and communities.  Where the sacredness of the marriage lies when they do it like a business?

A marriage life that starts with such a business deal can never by happy. All the noble virtues of human beings like love, affection, sense of equality, gentleness, sympathy, kindness etc. are burnt like rotten corpses.

When you talk about marriage, talk about the capacity of the girl and guy to handle the life together not in terms of money, but interms of love, care, affection, understanding and compromises. How does the girl will get the trust of a man when he is getting handful (no suitcase full of money/no house full of money) from the girls family?

I am not articulating this in favor of women; I am speaking about this as innumerable women being affected. I am expressing this for the fathers who suffer to get rid of their daughters. I put into words to say that women are not burdens. I speak about this to bring up that the brides have feelings and they are also human and trying to motivate them by recalling their hopes & dreams.

Teach my women not to give up your hopes & dreams by giving up dowry. Is it not a great humiliation for the woman who has to serve all her time with the in-laws and husband for the sake of the family life to give dowry?

Are these fathers not feeling shame to get rid of their daughters by giving dowry? What kind of parents are you? Aren’t you doing disgrace for the womanhood?

Marriage is not taking dowry to make my daughter as your wife, it is give your love and care and make my princess as your queen, at least don’t send her as a servant.

If our guys don’t have the back bone, is it good to be with him and share or start your life with a guy who demands dowry and other stuffs to prove his capacity in the society. My dear young ladies, prove your capacity that you can live without these men.

Women are not saleable commodity and if at all also, we don’t need to pay dowry and it needs to be done by the men to prove that they are capable of making these women happy after they enter into the wedlock. I really don’t understand why should we do this crap marriage by giving dowry?

I am shattered by the way our fellow females are suffering because of these dowry system, what if even after fulfilling all the demands, if the girl has some problem or if the guy is not expected or if the guy tries to torture the girl for more money or for some reason, if the marriage breaks, who is there to support the female as the father has got rid of his responsibility, father wanted to throw his burden to other guy and he paid off his debt by giving her married to a worthless guy? Let the guy be a good person and if the guy dies in an accident then who is there to help the girl?  What will my daughter do to survive her next 35-40 years of life?

Father doesn’t have the ability to support her because he has done everything to her to get her married. Even the woman cannot tell that she is suffering because of the money what the parents have spent for the sake of her happiness. How are we going to handle the tragedies of the life faced by the women after marriage?

When the women themselves rise against the humiliation of dowry, the society would be forced to change its attitude to them. Women must be trained since girlhood that their life is not hopeless without marriage. They should be encouraged to have higher education. When the women themselves rise against the ignominy of dowry, the society would be forced to change its attitude to them

What you sow is what you reap, but if you try to say no to dowry today, it will save you and your daughter tomorrow. Give respect to the feelings of others, don’t crush the flower and try to smell it.

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