Archive | August 2014

Between you and me

This is a sweet war between you and me, if you win, I consider it as my win, if I lose also, I will consider it as your win as losing it to you means a lot and I am learning the art of losing for the sake of gaining the relationship my love.

It is easy to lose someone you love in the ego, but it is very difficult to lose the ego for the one you love, I prefer to lose myself for the one whom I love.

எந்தன் உண்மைக்கும்,

உந்தன் பொய்க்கும் நடக்கும் போர்…. 

எனது தோல்வி உனது வெற்றி,
உனது வெற்றி எனது வெற்றி,
தோற்க பழகிக் கொள்கிறேன்…
உனக்காக
viruppam-irunthum

Blocking from Facebook

My dear SAD,

There is lot to discuss with you, but unfortunately our communications are stopped and I don’t have any ways to communicate to you and I don’t prefer also because I don’t close the doors for anyone, but if someone wants to leave, I can’t hold them by giving them pain. I tried to hold you with more pain and set you free.

I really hate people to add me in Facebook and also to block me in Facebook. I know for sure that I am not of such a type to irritate them in anyways, but if they want to do stupidity or for spoiling someone mentally, I have blocked coupled of guys for that matter I never regretted.

I wrote a content in the month of Sep’13 https://maidenpost.com/2013/09/13/i-trust-in-god/ without even feeling that I was blocked by you, when I saw you back in FB.

I have more fan followers in Facebook now, but I started using it only after knowing you. I was having the account since long time even before meeting you, but there was not even a requirement for me to use any of the gadgets as all my communications with my friends are one to one and sometimes in group when we meet.

I don’t know whether I don’t believe in the Gadgets or I was not having time to ponder these new technologies. I have to say thank you because without you, neither I would have got a chance to use Blackberry nor a smartphone to the extent I use it now. You made me smarter darling.

You can block me in your Facebook, I don’t have any problems because it is your choice. But making un friend of those who are known to you without any reason, just because they are my friends doesn’t looks good my dear, it shows how much immature you are. I can’t bear someone saying bad about you my love.

Do you think I can know about you only through Facebook?

My dear, I don’t need to know about you through your Facebook. I see you only through my prayers and I don’t need to hear about our friends circle or through you. I trust in god not in human. I believe in my prayers. Even thought I don’t pray for the individuals, but you are still there in my prayers as individual.

I have the guts by all means to meet you in person, but what is the need for it?

After all the incidents, I feel ashamed to see you because what will I ask you? I lost all my faith and trust in you, I lost the beauty of life what you have shown to me 2 years back. I can’t get all my friendship’s back. I can’t trust anyone anymore in my life.

Thank you for coming into my life, entering my life like an angel for showing the bliss feeling, showering your smile. When I think of that sweet smile, I swear on god that I forget that I was being fooled by someone, but at the same moment, I think why did you enter my life? What is the need for it? Just to play with the feelings?

Whatever I do, you will be with me all the way through, wherever you are my thoughts will also be there with you forever. Even if you say that you don’t think about me, I believe in you that you will be thinking about me. That is the trust what I have in you.

I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow is the feeling what I have for you 🙂 I miss you forever.

Cheers Good Luck.

About Feelings:

I read from a blog.. worth to share than to re-write the same topic.

Lies We Believe About Feelings:

Most of what we currently believe about emotions is false. Here are some of the beliefs we have about feelings. These beliefs are not all inclusive, because each individual, each family and each culture has unique beliefs regarding emotions, most of which are not true. But knowing about these lies may help you to unravel the mystery of our past and how we got captured.

LIE #1: There are “good” feelings and “bad” feelings.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS ARE GOOD!

All feelings are good because they reflect back to us how an experience is affecting us. If we pretend that certain feelings are bad, rather than the experience is making us feel bad, it is like we are beating the wagon to make the horse move. Now, some feelings we do enjoy more than others; and we would like to continue to feel some feelings and stop feeling others. But the way to stop feeling an emotion we do not like is to stop experiencing whatever it is that is painful or hurtful.

LIE #2: We can decide how we are going to feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS CANNOT BE DICTATED.

You can choose to change your mind, but you cannot just choose to change your feelings, not without damaging your soul and possibly losing a large part of yourself. You can tell a child not to be angry at someone, but that will not stop the anger. It will only teach a child to hide the anger and suppress the feelings, AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, teach the child that feelings are wrong or bad. Feelings are important to us because they tell us what we like and don’t like. I will say this over and over again. I may react to something differently than you do because my reaction (which comes from my feelings), comes from who I am. You may not like to swim and your feelings tell you so. I may love to swim and my feelings tell me so. Each person is unique. Each person’s feelings come from the deepest part of the self, to tell us who we are and how we want to live our lives and what we want to do and who we want to be with. We must not let the mind or intellect tell us what to do, when it is contrary to how we feel. The intellect, when it is working at its best, is making decisions for us and for our good based on how we feel.

LIE #3: Feelings lie. They are an unreliable barometer of the truth.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH

Our emotions are our surest way to know what is true about any situation. Our emotions always tell us the truth long before the mind can understand a situation or discern danger. This is partly because the mind is primarily a linear thing. It sees, thinks, and makes decisions in a linear fasion. Whereas the discernment that comes from our soul, our emotions, is very different. Our emotions respond to feeling nuances in a situation as a whole, even without mental understandings. You might be used to thinking of this as instinct, intuition, gut reaction, sensing. Whatever you call it, the emotions have the power to keep us safe and help us understand the world and ourselves by telling us the whole truth about a person or situation. However, there is a problem: when emotions go unexpressed, they freeze in time. What this means is that we often respond to a present day situation with a backlog of stored frozen emotions from our past. This is inappropriate, obviously, but that doesn’t mean the emotions are lying. All it means is that in order to be able to respond and feel truly in the present with all of our resources, we need to heal all the old trapped, frozen emotions we have locked up in the attic.

LIE #4: Once you have experienced emotional trauma and deep pain, you are stuck with the feelings forever and must learn to live with them, overcome them and ultimately suppress them.
TRUTH: ALL FEELINGS, PAST OR PRESENT, CAN BE RELEASED COMPLETELY AND WILL BE GONE FOREVER.

Once feelings have been released, wonderful natural processes begin to spontaneously activate. A re-evaluation process takes place and gives you new understanding. Awarenesses that you did not have before lead to changed beliefs and new decisions, and an outpouring of love and forgiveness takes place automatically. There is no hurt that cannot be healed, whether it is a hurt we have given or hurt we have received. All hurt feelings can be released until they are gone. This is part of the miracle of how feelings work if they are allowed to function naturally.
Our feelings must be allowed to surface and we must process them if we are to understand what they have to teach us. Unprocessed feelings do cause many problems. But feelings that have been accepted, honored and allowed to move through tears, are the most valuable tool we have.

LIE #5: You are what you feel.
TRUTH: FEELINGS ARE NOT SET IN STONE AND THEY ARE NOT AN INDICATION OF WHO YOU ARE.

As long as emotions are allowed to express organically, as long as they are not suppressed or judged, they can heal and evolve. You can feel murderous hatred and desire to kill someone. This does not make you evil or bad. This doesn’t make you a murderer (unless you ACT on the feeling). All it means is you have a feeling that needs acceptance and expression, and once given those two precious gifts, will move itself to healing and will no longer be whatever it was. It will evolve naturally and spontaneously into something else. We all suffer under the weight of this lie that says what we feel is who we are, and therefore we try our best to suppress all feelings that we judge as bad, wrong, evil, or unloving.

Face Book is not my Family

01st August 01:00 AM (I wonder how can I sit and write at this time, but when it is about my family, I can do it at anytime – a special blessing showered by god for the sake of my family)

What is the reason for me to write this is, my Face Book status messages are not the status of my mind; it is the status to be shared only for one or two of my extended family/friends. It is no way to hurt you guys or to say something indirectly to you. I have the guts to say it to my family what I feel on their face and they have the guts to correct me on my face and they have all the rights to scold me /correct me/advise me as you are the reason for my soul to live and love those who are around me. I am proud to say that you all love me more than what I deserve and I love others more than I deserve which is the reason for my pains.

Love of the family

In the recent times, whoever I have seen in my life, made to feel that they are not blessed with a nice family. Touch wood, I have a beautiful family who are the backbone of my life.

I failed many times in my life in almost all the aspects of life, but all the times, my family has been a big support for me all through my life. Tough times last but tough people do! My family knows whatever tough times comes to be it will not last forever and I get up as fast as I can and that is the blessings that I got from my family.

tough times-1I have heard parents being irresponsible, brothers being arrogant, sisters without communication and I have to say that how blessed I am to have a wonderful family around my neck.

What a lovely mother, I have got and blessed for being her daughter. When I was young, I have seen a couple (my mother’s colleague) who were not having any kids, and she used to hug me and asked me to stay with her. When I was being unhandled by mother or being harsh towards my rude or filthy activities or when I don’t get the required care from my mother, at times I used to think that I should have gone with them as an adopted daughter.

Unfortunately my mother poured her deep love for all of us equally and especially for me which made me to feel her love when I am at forty. I think I will think about her love even after 20 years and without her, I will feel that my life is empty even if I have 1000 relatives surrounded by me.

Whatever trust my mother has on me, I will keep it up till my death time even in her absence I will not go and do anything beyond her love sight. The way you have shown your love to me, I regret that I should have got a son or daughter to show what my mother has given it to me. I missed to take it to the next generation which is the only feeling which will hurt me and my mother forever.

About my sisters, how wonderful sisters I have got. They will give me up for some reasons, but not with a third person or even with their better halves.  I know the kind of respect what my sisters have for me is very high compared to the respect what I have for them and same way their love is very high compared to the way I show it to them.

I never have been a soft spoken sister to them and always I was a barking dog for them and a kind of dictator who wants to be listen by youngster. I have always shown an arrogant attitude towards the sisters who are ready to do anything for their sister sake. We will bark at each other like street dogs, but we are closely knitted and we have not given up ourselves in front of anyone. They will never ever let me down for anything or for anyone in their life. Even with our kids, we say that we love each other more than anything. A great blessings for our kids is to see our love and fights. We fight but we love, they also fight and they also love each other. A great treat to be enjoyed.

I have to scribble something about my father also, who has been a great motivator when I least deserve the support of the family. We don’t communicate much or I have to say I don’t have the habit of listening to anyone but when it comes to education or anything related to finance, we don’t do it without discussing with my father.  If at all we do anything without his knowledge everything will go in vain.

Anything related to investment is being taken care of him with utmost care and concern and a way to build our values with his values.

I don’t have brothers of my own, but I have my cousin brothers who are more trustworthy, who has the care and concern in a great way for me. Even those who have not visited my home, will give a visit when I am there.

I always used to say that my brother-in-law as the son for our family who owns or cares my house as their own and on whom I can depend for anything more than my sister. It is a heartfelt feeling for him and who will do the needful when the time comes him to take care of my family as like a son.

All my second level of relatives will feel me as part of their family and which is a great credit for anyone who loves to be loved. Whether I love them back or not is not a concern or a matter to them. But the love from my cousins or any relative matters a lot to me.

It is my 5th year in UAE and every year during end of Ramadan, I will be at home and from the first year till this year, my aunty used to call my home exactly on a Saturday before Ramzan to check whether I am at home to celebrate Eid. As she knows that I will club my weekends and the holidays and pay a visit to home. If I am there, she will try to come and meet me during my short span of time or she will ask me to visit me in aunts place.

The reason for sharing this is, in today’s world whoever I have seen are feeling that they are being neglected, not being cared, not given enough love to them by their families.

Miseries for the kids are only through parents. I have come across many stories in life, be it my personal or others, but the life’s problem starts when the kids lose the value for their parents.

When they don’t have the love of the parents, they lose everything in their life. It includes their education, age, life style, youth and they come across all sort of unhappy situations and they create a huge mess in the world because of their parent’s behaviors.

I live alone but I was never alone and the reason for the saying this is

“The loneliest people are the kindest, The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.”

Parents are the main source for the kids to come up with care & concern, culture, civilization and so on. If the parent’s doesn’t spend quality time with the kids, then there is 100% chance for the kid to go and search for the love outside the house and which eventually turn to betrayals or to get into unwanted relationships.

Why is it so? Was my mother not a working female?  How can I feel her love as great love, how can I feel that a father sitting at home for 36 years as a mentor for the family?

How can I feel happy about the sisters who have thrown me out of their life for few days/months/years for some reason as the best relations, because all these are connected with BLOOD and I love my blood;

Even I would have been harsh and rude to my family, but still they will say that She is Best because it is how we value our relationship. We value it based on our understanding.

Above all, it is all about the understanding of the relationship. We know that my mother was a working women. We can’t expect my mother to prepare a delicious meal for breakfast or for lunch or even for a dinner. We have given more value for what she has done by looking at her efforts provided by her to us.

I remember that when I was sick, I have to go to the clinic to consult the doctor all alone, but I felt it as a love of my mother, because the money what she has given to me is because of her hard work and we never felt that she was not by our side to take care of us. We know how difficult it is for a mother to leave her children at home and to go for work. If at all my father was not there to take care of us, she would have taken leave and would have been our side. He has done the role of a mother when we were sick.

She is mother of three children travelling more than 30 kms for her work, who used to spent minimum of 2.5 hours due to the poor transportation facilities during the year 1975-90’s.

Is there any logic for us to expect her to prepare a delicious meal when she comes back home at 9.30PM or 10.00 PM. She is a woman who struggled a lot in her life for the welfare of her children’s life.

In fact we have to feel pity for her and need to think her as an unfortunate mother who was not able to spend her time when her kids were sick or for their education purpose or for any parents teacher meetings.

She was not able to spend her quantity time with the kids, but she has spend most of her time to earn to provide a quality life style for her kids. Whatever we are today, it is because of the hard efforts given by her. She would not have had good meal or enough sleep for the sake of her kids.

Whatever quality of life or quality of love we have in us, is because of our mother and the way she used to handle things differently made us to cheer her for all her actions.

We have seen our mother as a very soft personality and a very dynamic person who earned her respect from every corner of the world because of her style, smile and soft tongue, which I am trying to do it but my sharp tongue will spoil it as always.  Respect is not given, it is earned is what I learned from my mother.

Ma, you are the best mother in the world and you deserve a big hug from all of us. I don’t even remember when you would have given that hug or a kiss. But we need you and your blessings all through our life.

Without all these wonderful members, I think I will feel my life as empty.