I saw a greeting card which was sent to me almost after 15 months. It was a sorry card and card is shared below.
To be honest, when I received the card, I was shocked because I never expected such a card from the sender, even though we had some misunderstandings and some communication gap. I never expected such a card from the sender
When I opened it , I was feeling like I was in heaven, even though I don’t know for what I received the card. I asked the sender, for what you have sent this, there was no response, and I told that whatever be the reason, I can forgive you even without knowing it. One reason to say that was, sender is not of a person who will feel for others or for her own mistakes. Since the card was from the sender, I felt I can forgive without knowing the reason.
I have seen the same card 8 months back also; at that time also I felt the same that I can forgive her. But slightly in a different manner, but at that time, I know the reason why that card was sent to me, because of her conversation/back biting with another friend. I think maybe sender would have felt bad for back biting and she would have sent the card. When sender sent the card, neither I was aware nor did she try to convey that to me. But she felt guilty and sent that card. I was happy at that time also. Sender is not of a person who will feel bad for others or for sender’s own mistake.
When I saw the card today, somewhat my mind questioned me in a different way, whether the sender really felt for the action or is it just to get rid from the god’s angle. Was it sent to me, just to get the forgiveness from me to clear the dirt? Or was it really from the heart?
If it was from the heart, the sender could have told me the reason and there is no reason to hide when I said that I can forgive any sort of her activities and I have told the sender you can do anything with me, that’s why played me as a victim of love.
Why I am posting this, with the time, our pain will heal away, is it true? I have heard with many saying that even this will pass away, if so why do we have the pain?
I used to think that it will not heal but we will try to live with that. That is what happened with me also, I started to live with pain. Now I smile, I dance, I sing, I pray, I work but hiding my pain and everyone feels that I am recovered and I don’t have any wound or scar in my heart, but nobody knows that I still have the pain and that too with the same effect.
The more I dwell with this pain, the scenarios will change and if I see this card after one more year, what will be my attitude and mindset, god only knows….. only in you I trust
At this time of sharing this thought, one of my friend shared a thought provoking video with me, which was saying about the humbleness, when someone has a beautiful face, but with an arrogant attitude, think that there is someone more beautiful than you and more humble…
To conclude, whatever be your attitude, I will be same and I have forgiven you for what you have done but I am unable to forgive myself for the punishment what I am getting. Without doing any harm, am getting punishment is horrible in life.
I know saying sorry won’t be enough…
But I really mean it…
Please forgive me!
Please forgive me! For loving you so deeply, still loving and living in your thoughts.