The reason for the above question is not based on assumptions; it is based on experiences I am facing with this dirty world. Now a days guys are very open and freeky to question to a woman who is married/divorced or single to ask her can you live with me in a relationship ( this means like a wife but I can’t marry you).
Aren’t we giving the chance for the spouse to make mistakes by allowing them to live alone for the sake of economic development or for his career/professional growth?
I am not saying all guys are wrong, out of 90% of friends 1% would have tried the above question with me and I have all the rights to say this to the fellow females not to allow their husbands to stay away from them for any reason. It is their choice and even the female can go and live with anyone.
For economic conditions sake, they will do anything and they don’t want to keep the promise what the marriage says to them. Neither they are sharing their life’s joy and sorrow with each other. They want to share their happiness in terms of money not in terms of caring for each other with lovable, affectionate and caring ways.
Main reason for posting this article is not to hurt anyone’s feelings or to pin point anyone’s mistakes, but to say that it is world of rubbish people around us and what we need is what we have to decide and I don’t know what these friends of mine really feel as blessed or living a life of perfection. As they condemn others at their back.
Whether the relationship between a husband and wife are going on fantastic or not, if the husband is not living with a female, then the life of the female will undergo many critics in her life. Without doing any mistakes, the female has to go for Agni pariksha as like the Sita of Ramayana. Agni pariksha for Sita happened long long ago and the same continues for all the females, even though we call this world is changed, revolution, rebellions, technology etc., but nothing changes the minds of the men(Indian men).
Whether it is having doubt on his wife or calling a female to his bed it is by men only but the effect of it goes only for the female not for the men.
It is easy for a colleague to give filthy comment with a boss about a female who lives single after marriage because he knows that husband is not around and if the female is little closer or even if she talks casually with someone and avoids others for some personal reason, the guys take advantage to hurt the female by talking rubbish. It is easy for them to handle it in that way and to play with the weakness of a female. the same comments he will not pass with the same female if the female is living with her husband, because the value of the marriage lies in that home where the guy lives and in the heart of the female.
A husband has to stay with the wife to make the love and romance of their life to exist till end of their life. “Love doesn’t sit in a heart like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; re-made every day, made new.”
Female will get all the desired gifts with the money earned by her husband or by herself, but the precious gift of admiration can only be done by a husband. If that also has to be done by her colleagues and others then what is the need for this husband.
This distance provides two scenario’s in their life.
Love grows in the heart of the couples when the distance is for short-term (mostly with women)
Out of sight and out of mind (mostly with men) comes when the separation is meant for long-term or destined to be forever conditions. (most of the women also takes this as a chance to flirt with other men because why boys should have all the fun, let me also date with another lady’s husband)
Both men and women get engaged in their routine and for the fascinating life, they try to expose their positive sides to those who are around and start with flirting and if it works out , they get into an extra marital affairs.
In most of the cases the physical separation of husband and wives leads to have one or more affairs only whether it is for the pleasure or due to the pressure of the current atmosphere GOK (God only knows).
I believe such a separation for economic reasons, has to be avoided.
Is it the same case with all the couples? Certainly not, because the couples who has got kids and have spent their life for 4-6 years together, it varies with them. It is mostly dependent on the individuals and the love they have for each other. When it is for the welfare of the kids, I believe in true love and it will increase the love irrespective of the distance.
Above all these men will not prefer to leave their wife and kids for the sake of money, and they will try to bring them along with him or he will make a frequent trip to meet them. Those who are money minded and who prefers wife as luxury item doesn’t need to get married and they can make their luxury or the needs to satisfy them with the money what they earn than to spoil the other female’s life.
I wanted to wind up this content with a short and sweet note in a different way, but I have to thank those who provoked me to share the actual thought what was going on in my mind. Before talking about others, they have to think about themselves and they have to correct them. I tried to explain it to my friend based on my experience and not on others experiences.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness.”
The real joy of marriage is being together, with each other……..being able to connect, then fight, then connect and cuddle providing the happiness of being in the arms of each other after the fight every now and then is what makes the marriages to survive.
Years of separation from each other, certainly deprives both men and women, the joy of being together……..and being in companionship. No letter connection, no email connection, no online chat connection can substitute the real togetherness.
If someone says we will do all these over phone and internet, then it is better to marry a photo than a human.
“What I love most about my home is with whom I share it with.” – now I find these men and women share it with their ipad, laptop, black berry, smart phones and skypes not with the wife/kids/parents/friends. Even if we scream or shout at their ears, it will not enter into their head and heart, till the time they lose something valuable in their life.
If someone prefers to learn only they can learn otherwise Time will teach them a big lesson.