Is it the economy playing a role or the freedom for female playing the role? What the “F” is happening??
Is it only money matters or something else?
The main reason for me to write about this is because of my colleagues wife was forced to talk with me and the way she was sharing her feelings about her husband was really shocking. Is it because of in security or because of her love, care, affection or expectations of care and affection from her husband or whether she suspects him or she suspects all those who work with him? Leaving her in home country and working in a different country has given bad name for him or for those ladies who work with him? It was really a sarcastic situations, but god has given the gift to handle it politely and diligently.
The strong reason I felt that I have to write about this is because the trend is growing rapidly and I have not seen these kinds of trends with my parents era or before that also. I have seen couples living together even when their economic condition badly force them to live separately. They wouldn’t live apart for any reason. It is not the matter of sex but it is part of their love and care for each other.
Especially in Tamilnadu, I have seen that men and women spending 3 to 4 hours in a day by train and going back to their home to live with their family. It will be either for the sake of the kids or for any reason, but they were not staying as single, leaving their responsibilities as husband/son/father/brother at home.
I know people who travel for their jobs during the week and return home on the weekends but living apart.
I am not against living single life for the sake of economic upliftment for the sake of family. But if it is by a brother/son for the sake of family to get his sisters married, or for the happiness of their parents, I certainly agree with them.
The couples whom I have come across in the recent times doesn’t have any such commitments and for the sake of building a Villa or to have a luxury flat for the wife, leaving the wife and living single life is not advisable for any man.
Whether buying a flat for a wife or living with her in a flat what makes a man happy matters most? Especially leaving a newly wedded wife and leaving the country or living for the sake of money – then there is no need for these two people to get united in the name of marriage.
If these guys leave the wives when the wife needs them the most and what if something goes wrong in her life? Who is responsible for the needs of the female? The guy can say that I have gone to make money for you, but what is the use of that money when she is no longer interested to live with you because you don’t have time for her personal and physical needs.
Being single is a great achievement for both of them on these conditions and it is really tough for both of them to live a single life after getting married. They need each other in their day-today routines. There will be many people at home to take care of the wife and the guy will be surrounded by many friends, but all these are not like the one who has to do everything for her/him.
She can take the help of her brother/sister for her basic needs, she can take help of the spouse brother/sisters for family needs, but what will she do for her physical needs which a spouse is supposed to do for her? She can ask her sister to accompany her to select a saree for her, but the beauty of wearing that saree has to be appreciated by the spouse not by the spouse’s brother. What is the fun of getting a new saree or anything with the money what the spouse sends from a far of country?
What is the best happiness for a female is being with the husband and the minutes what they spend together, whether it is to buy a Dior/CK perfume or a Gold Ornament or the potato or a piece of meat for the next day curry with her husband makes the proudest moment for her.
The best moment for a husband is to gift something to his wife either as a surprise or as pre-planned but to see her happiness eyes shedding a tear with smiles. A sweet hug when he handover the gift to her. These husbands will say that they will hug their wives in Skype or will you arrange someone else for it?
Forget about gifts, to share a happy news that he/she got promotion or increment or an appreciation who will be the first one to come in to our mind, only spouse. What is the use of getting an increment or appreciation when you can’t share it at that moment with your spouse. You can wait for few hours if the person is in the same place to share it with him/her. But waiting to reach him through mobile as he will be busy in his office or she will be in a meeting, does it makes worth of your marriage?
She can do shopping with 100 people but the happiness lies when she sees the smile from her man and if a woman is ready to miss it for the sake of money, then it is really a worst gift what she can offer to her husband.
What if the guy starts living with other female or marries another female with whom he gets attracted with or for his physical needs?
“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It’s focused attention.”
The reason for the above question is not based on assumptions; it is based on experiences I am facing with this dirty world. Now a days guys are very open and freaky to question to a woman who is married/divorced or single to ask her can you live with me in a relationship ( this means like a wife but I can’t marry you).
Aren’t we giving the chance for the spouse to make mistakes by allowing them to live alone for the sake of economic development or for his career/professional growth?
I am not saying all guys are wrong, out of 90% of friends 1% would have tried the above question with me and I have all the rights to say this to the fellow females not to allow their husbands to stay away from them for any reason. It is their choice and even the female can go and live with anyone.
For economic conditions sake, they will do anything and they don’t want to keep the promise what the marriage says to them. Neither they are sharing their life’s joy and sorrow with each other. They want to share their happiness in terms of money not in terms of caring for each other with lovable, affectionate and caring ways.