Three Mistakes of my Life

Three mistakes of my Life ! ! !

Everyone makes mistakes and there is no one in the world can live without doing any mistakes in their life. Mistakes are the most important part of life and without doing any mistakes we can’t consider ourselves as human. Without failure there is no success and without mistakes there is no learning. Path to wisdom is through mistakes.

When we do mistakes it means that we are trying something new and when your life goes in a straight path that means you are not trying anything. A life with full of mistakes is more honorable than doing nothing.

Experience is the name what we give to our mistakes and I used to feel that whatever experiences I have got it is all because of the mistakes and it’s not easy to get all the experiences by one person to feel satisfied with our own life.

People in our life doesn’t come with a guarantee that they will not hurt you, break you or shatter you. If at all someone says then they are the one who is going to break you into pieces.

I really feel happy to write these as three mistakes of my life. In general I don’t regret for doing mistakes in my life, because without doing mistakes, we can’t learn anything in life. I learned a lot by doing mistakes and I learned from others mistakes as well.

I made mistakes and it doesn’t mean that I have to suffer all through my life. Sometimes even very intellect people do silly mistakes and it makes them to fall from the top. I am an ordinary person with very little knowledge of self-handling technique. I handle myself gently when it is required to be gentle, wildly when I have to show my anger and I have been weird and absolute nonsense in making mistakes.

I have always taken all my mistakes as a way to guide me in my future steps and I don’t allow any of my mistakes to carry me to my graveyard. This time, I am unable to consider this as my mistake and I am unable to feel that it is not my mistake also. Is it my karma or god’s play? Only if it is Karma or through god’s play, I can’t handle it on my own. All other mistakes were made by me and I handled it so easily.

These mistakes of my life have become a painful story. I was thinking today that I should have considered these 3 mistakes with the three monkeys of Mahatma Gandhi. I wanted to correlate my three mistakes with three monkeys of Mahatma Gandhi because if I would have done it, I would not have got this much pain in my life.

What are the mistakes that I am referring to?

  1. Loving you without knowing anything about you & even after knowing your real color.
  2. Trusting you without knowing anything about you & even after knowing your real color.
  3. Crying for you even after knowing your real color.

I made mistake in my life by giving such an importance to someone who doesn’t know anything about me or who doesn’t know to give importance to others feelings.

Loving you without knowing anything about you & even after knowing your real color.

No matter how much you hurt me, I will still love you and I will love you till my last breath. As usual, you will be my smile and of course the reason for my tears when I smile. I have said so much about love and loving you as a stranger to feel you as my life and again back to a stranger. I don’t need you to speak to me, but I speak to you almost. I love this virtual daughter more than you because, as like with you I dont have any expectation from this daughter also.

The worst mistake of my life is loving you or feeling so great about your love. It is not about my love alone, I feel bad for feeling your love , how could I feel your love if it was not true as real? I guess you are a better actor, I don’t need  Vidya Balan to do your character but I need you to do it in my movie.

Trusting you without knowing anything about you & even after knowing your real color.

The trust what I had for you is more than the trust what I had in god. Even my god can give up but I never thought that you will give up so easily.  That is the trust of me in you. It is not that I blindly love you, I do love you but blindly trusted you was the greatest mistake of my life. I trusted your love as true that is where the eyes were blind. Mind and heart has to work differently so as I can hear my mind, when heart becomes blind. I felt so bad because both my head and heart was betrayed with your fake love because of my trust.

In general there is a saying that

Trust is like an eraser it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake. But my trust for you was growing more and more with your mistakes because I felt that you are testing my love and trust for you.

I allowed you to take advantage of my love for you and I accepted you to play with my love and allowed you to play with my feelings considering you as a child. I learned my choice was bad but I can’t go back to start over a new beginning, because I can’t get back the sweet feeling with someone else.

Crying for you even after knowing your real color.

I don’t know what for I am crying because those who really love will not make others to shed tears and you are no-where nearby the word love, and after knowing your real color, I have to throw you out and feel free and relaxed and enjoy my life, but it is really tough for me to live a life without even thinking about you.

When I think of you, only the curses of the other woman are coming to my mind and feeling so bad and wild. What is the need for you to get those curses? You are earning, eating your food and you have not seen her, why should she scold you? Of course you know the reason and I have told you that if you are the reason for it, then you deserve those curses, but ultimately, I am the one who is getting affected because of those curses.

How is it possible for a human to live such a life, a person who doesn’t feel sorry for their mistakes in life, how can I consider you as a human who doesn’t know to feel sorry or will never feel sorry?

Why did I start writing about the three mistakes of life? It is not because of Chetan Bhagat. I was thinking about the three monkey’s of Gandhi.

What does the three monkeys of Gandhi says?

I think when I see the three monkeys, I think that it denotes me of being of good mind, speak good and action (Do Good). But what is happening in my life? I am discriminating a person and when I read the contents I am getting a doubt whether the person is bad or I am bad? I am writing about the person whom I love as if I hate and what is wrong? Why I have become like this? When I think about the horror happenings of my life, I feel that it says to me the following.

  1. See no evil,
  2. Hear no evil,
  3. Speak no evil

I have seen you, heard from you, and now speaking because of the impact what I have got from you. I was appreciating only good things of people and I hate to be in a group which will spoil me or my reputation.

Ideally people will say that don’t see the bad thing, don’t hear the bad thing, don’t talk bad things as the three monkey’s definition.

Most of my friends asked me, not to post any content on her, she is not worth of saying anything but I am posting it in a feeling that she will read and try to repent for her actions in the name of god.  If she reads, she will change if not those who are like her will change.

GOD – I TRUST IN YOU, no one in the world can handle such a person. You be with her and guide her in any form, either as my Sai or as her Allah, but be with her and let her not be the reason for someone’s demise…. Enough god, please do well through her.

Hey Idiot,

I was not ready to hear something bad about you, but am hearing the curses for you and you made me to write so much bad about you and it is a greatest sin of my life. To get rid out of this sin, I have to get rid of everything what I have for you. Yes giving up my love, affection, care and everything in the name of god. Let him handle you. Change is the expectation and a change will happen in someone’s life, I can’t expect a change in you, because only those who are in sense can think, let me change my way.

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