Art of writing is a blessing and this comes with everyone easily over a period of time. Practice makes man perfect.
This is really an old chapter of my life and I don’t write anything as imaginary things in my life. I live truly and I say and do everything from heart. This content is also about someone whom I love and I will love till my end of my life.
I started writing this content on 5th May’2012, but somehow I could not finish it and share my love for her. I am sorry for the delay but I guess this is the right time for me to post.
How is it possible for us to have the same level of love from the year one till now?
I love words. I love to speak and coin them and even now, I must admit, I have fallen into the joy of writing. I don’t know when I started scribbling, and when my friend told me that I started scribble long time back and only she can comment on it because I would have spent ages to write my love for her. She knows it but still I tried to convey it through words, I failed in that. I prepared a power point presentation with 1500 slides and shared it with her.
In two of the slides, I said that don’t ever come after my death nearer to me, because seeing your tears, I will get up to wipe it. That is the level of my love.
In another slide, I will pray to god that I have to die after her because I don’t want her to see the death of her dearth child. That is because I value her love for me.
I know for sure that she has not read even 500 slides, she would have felt so bad for me because I wasted so much time. She said hey stupid, do you need to waste so much time to say your love to me? I know it with your one smile and in one drop of your tear my dear kutty naai( Puppy).
During the course of time she said, I really admire you for your sincerity and dedication and concentration and the way I used to be with my computers, she knows that I can only do something with computers and any other things will not interests me like a computer.
Of course she will not allow me to shed the second drop of tear and she will wipe the first drop of my tears and with a hug she will say, why you have to shed your tears, am here to handle you and you are my first love.
The thorns on a rose are not there to hurt us, it is there to guide and protect us.
She was the one who made this (me) thorn to a rose and for some time she was like a thorn towards me and I failed to understand that those thorns feelings are to protect me. For those who feel now me as pleasant personality is all because of this wonderful friend of mine. Now I can’t show my thorny face to those whom I love or those who are close to my heart. I learned to show the bright smile from her.
Whatever people feel as my great personality in the last 6-7 years, I have to say that it is all because of her. I can’t say that we never had any arguments, every day we used to have arguments, because we both are two extreme kinds of people.
Even we had a big fight and we were not communicating with each other for more than a year. But we were living with the same feeling, thinking about each other’s betterment of life. The main reason for me to share this is, we know that we love each other to the core and we know that the gap is only a temporary gap.
When she was trying to avoid me for some personal reason, I was in angry that she was not ready to convince me, because she is the one who can make me to convince me in all the phases of my life. My anger was not on her but why she was not trying to convince me. After sometime I realized that it was not her mistake, but I was not in a right mind of state to accept anything from her.
I hope when she would have got a call from a training institute for conducting some training. I told the trainer not to use my name, but I hope she would have felt that it was through me. That moment she would have realized that I care for her.
During that 1 year time, she didn’t communicated with me directly, but she was sending mails, sent some SMS’s as wishes etc from a new number. When I asked her who is this, simply a word your sweet heart and that’s it, all my anger will vanish at that moment and I will start feeling my love for her.
I love to hang around with my friends and for her no one is required. To great knowledge I can count her friends, and to my great knowledge I can’t count my friends. Even a stranger will become a friend to me in few minutes and for her it will take ages for a stranger to become as a friend. When I used to see her in the beginning, I used to feel that she is a rude female and she will not smile at all. Even if we smile at her, she will take time to smile, because she can’t act and she has to smile from heart.
I will trust blindly everyone and she will rate the person and start trusting them slowly. In spite of huge differences between us, we have a very nice understanding. We give respect to each other very much. At times I was so arrogant and I will behave childish. I will get wild and she was adoring, admiring and adjusting me to the core. I know how much she was tolerating me.
Thanks for your patience and tolerating me. I have to say that she is of a person who will feel more for me than me if I shed a drop of tear. She is not only a friend for me a god mother as my family used to say it to me.
I know for sure that I have tender qualities and I tried to show myself as a rigid character and not as a soft personality to anyone. In a way I want to become the old wild animal to kill two animals, but god has made me to be soft through you and I can’t go back to start a new beginning with my wildness.
I remember 6 months ago, you told me that there can’t be second person like you in my life. I have to agree to you that yes because we are very loving and we know to give respect to each other’s feelings and we have a beautiful relationship. Above all it is destiny and god has decided that we two have to share this relationship till end of our life.
I learned that “Compassion and Tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength only from her. I love you for teaching me the great values of life and I thank you for making me so soft in my life. whatever I show to the one whom I love is because I learned it from her.
You entered my life as a mentor, stranger, friend, and became everything to me. You are the one who made a rock as a diamond. Whatever I am today, it has your efforts in all the ways. It is really a god’s gift for me that I will always be surrounded by good people, if some bad people come they will either turn good or they will leave me. I am not worried about those who leave me and I am more concerned about those who live with me
I owe a lot to you for the way you changed my life, but I don’t know how to return it to you. As you used to say, I need you till end of our life.