Archive | April 2013

உசிரே போகுது உசிரே போகுது

உன்னை கருவினில்

சுமந்து இருந்தால்

கலைத்து இருப்பேன்.

இதயத்தில் சுமந்ததால்

சிரமப்படுகிறேன்,

தூக்கி எறிய,

கருப்பை இல்லாமல்

வாழ முடியும்,

இதயம் இல்லாமல்

இருப்பது எப்படி – உன்னைக்

கண்டும், உன்னிடமிருந்து

கற்க முடியாத வித்தை,

வித்தை மட்டுமல்ல

விந்தையும் கூட.

மனிதம் துளியுமில்லாமல் –

மனித மிருகமாய்,

கல் மனதோடு வாழும்

உன்னைக் கண்டு

வியக்கலாம், ஆனால்

அந்த கொடிய கலை

கேவல நிலை, இரண்டும்

எனக்கு வேண்டாம….

நீ எந்தன் மகளாக

இருந்தாலும் – உன்னை

நினைத்து மகிழ்ந்திட

ஆயிரம் நினைவுகள்

இருந்தாலும்,  உன்

தவறுகளை

திருத்த தவறினால்

வெறுப்பேன்… என்

உயிர் உள்ளவரை (உன் சிந்தை மாறும் வரை)

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All men are men

I have not heard from many women saying that all men are all the same!
Well…men are not all the same at all. In fact women are much more similar to each other than men are.

All Men are Men – this means all men are pigs and when I heard this word from her, I felt it was out of care but I never felt that I can write up an article with this sentence.

What a situation, it was told by her to me, when someone whom I trust very much uttered some stupid words and I am sure that he will say that he said it in a flow and nothing to harm or nothing from heart.

When I shared this to my family(My UAE family), all of them felt bad and one of my friend told, he should not have used it to you. I was so surprised to hear those words from that gentleman. He is not of that kind of person to share feelings for others.

My beauty of life, said the above words that all men are men madam and she said it so cool and those words were so beautiful for me when it was from her.

These words were from her mouth so it is still beautiful, but the impact of words is not so great. I have taken these words because I love all her words and I want to give up all her words as articles.

Women attract men through their physical appearance. So when a man notices an attractive woman, his slayer nature automatically comes out of him and he thinks “I want a sexual relationship with her”. Of course they will not think with all women, if so they have psychological disorder.

Thus, you will most likely receive the same types of attitudes from most men, when he is in front of an attractive woman. He desires to be with a beautiful woman. If a lady is not good-looking, then these guys will tell them as friends only not as girl-friend.

If a woman meets a guy and she will not decide to have sex with him immediately even if he is very handsome, she will look in for the personality type what is looking in him (Confident, courageous, caring, funny, attentive and she will check whether the guy is a playboy or not.

Whereas a guy will not look for her personality type and he will stick for physical appearance if she is not of his personality type, he will still feel to have sex with her because of her physical appearance. These qualities are almost similar in men and women in identifying the needs with reasons.So the only reason why most men seem the same, is because they all respond the same to physical appearance. But the moment when a man likes a woman for her personality, he becomes totally different to all other men.

I have to say that all my friends know me here for my personality not as a female or woman.

I am not going to write about guys now and it is all about women. I did not know that all men are men means that all men are pigs. How can we say that all men are men?

Especially, I can’t say that all men are men because my circle is filled only with men and I have come across only good people and here and there one or two bad guys or pigs would have tried to be part of my life. But I have to say that they will be out within 1 such bad incident or the way they use their words will certainly make sure them to be out of my friendship circle.

I am a female chauvinist. I’m not going to insult or attack women. Instead, I want people to better understand that men and women are more alike than they think when it comes to sex and sins of the flesh.

When there is a need for sex, a man needs a woman and vice versa, when there is a need for the sex for a woman, she needs a man to get it satisfied.

If I can talk about bad about a guy with reference to the act of a pig, then I have to say that they can’t behave like that without a woman’s involvement. It greatly depends on how women behave in the exact way that they accuse only men of behaving: like pigs.

When I was discussing something about the a lady with a best friend of mine, she was accusing the guy to great extent and she said no harm with the lady. She is a great supporter of female and she wanted to say that this female has not done any harm other than keeping silence.

Especially it is easy for the guys to attract a female who is married, who has tasted the feeling of sex and who survives alone (divorced, separated, widows or even those who live due to situation factors).

Whereas in my eyes, if something goes wrong then woman is the culprit, I don’t feel that a guy has done something great or he tried to put so much effort to bring her close to him. It is easy for any guy to bring in a lady very close to him only when the lady allows him to do it.

It is a growing consensus in women that “All men are pigs.” Every day women complain about how men are unfaithful, lying, dirty-minded pigs, whose major blood flow spends most of its time at the wrong part of their bodies. Obviously if you dress half naked, then their eyes will go around your parts of the body. If you cover full and go with a fake smile, it is giving the guy a right to scan you directly.

When a lady allows someone to enter into her private subject you are allowing someone to touch your private parts. Then it is not the mistake of the guy and you can’t blame that the guy is a pig. A guy knows how to handle a female whether she is married or single and they are meant to be said that they can make a women weaker section. If you allow them to make you weak and then you should not cry for it.

Above all women wants that someone should like them, adore them and they need that piece of appreciation every now and then. When the one who has to adore her all the day and night is not doing it or when it is not there for the female, then they expect it to get it from others.

The Great Fact is that there are just as many deceiving and unfaithful men out there as there are because of these unfaithful women. So why it is that only the men have earned such a bad reputation and the women still enjoys the flavor of the womanhood? The answer lies in the difference between how men and women communicate with one another.

It is a known fact that women are natural communicators and we love to express our feelings openly and very often. When it comes to proclaiming their sentiments, women more than men and they are the first to sit on the panel of a talk show, or complain to their girlfriends about their failed or unhappy relationships. They will share all their good and bad with their close friends circle and try to get the support from the other women.

It is totally opposite in men. Men are not as communicative as women, and tend to suppress their emotions a lot more than their female counterparts. They will not try to disclose even to their colleagues or good friends to maintain their dignity. It is really gives them a great reputation and they don’t always communicate the problems of their relationships. Obviously you’re going to hear more from women side of the story than men.

The fact remains that just as many women engaging in extramarital affairs as do men. The only difference is that men don’t talk about their women being unfaithful. Extramarital affairs can’t happen to a guy without a woman’s involvement.

In today’s world, we can’t accuse for any sin that it is to be held responsible by a man when it is related to sex and related to flesh. In olden days, the awareness was not there and the women were not literate and they were not given any kind of freedom to express their feelings.

There was a time when a woman’s sexual desires were held hostage by her own body and society’s attack. Women were suppressed and were asked to live with conditions. That is to say that the consequences of being philandering were more severe than they are today.

In the olden days, a woman held the burden of caring for a child if she became pregnant, or risked ruining her reputation. Women were not having the luxury of abortion clinics or birth control. So once they got knocked up, that was it. There was no more hiding and for this reason women kept their legs crossed and it is due to consequences rather than moral convictions.

Nowadays, women have more scope when it comes to sexual freedom. What with birth control and the ability to support them, women’s independence has been awakened and they take this freedom is given for them to sleep with anyone. It is good that at one time kept them like slaves from giving in to their sexual desires but not spoiling other female’s life.

In ancient time, without freedom, when women were at home inside the four walls, what they know is to care for their husbands, child and to keep the home clean and to think about her man and family. What was she getting from the husband is to satisfy the needs of his physical needs. Even it was not like that to satisfy her needs, it was for the need of the guy.

But today the freedom has given to the female to get her needs satisfied through anyone and how can we say that all men are men and are all women are saints?

The society has not become a full of guys and we still believe in marriage and we live one for one conspiracy.

As women were suppressed to great extent in olden days, now the social reform has come and it is not against men but it is against the women. When a guy indulge in an extra marital affair with a woman who is single or married, then it is against the woman who is already exists in the guy’s life and she is ready to spoil that woman’s life for her sexual needs.

The number of women who have multiple partners or commit adultery has skyrocketed over the years. Men cheat and sleep around, yes, but this is what gave women the justification to call men as pigs. But now that they have caught up to us on the “spread your love” scale, they are no longer entitled to throw this in men faces alone, it has to be said for the women as well.

Earlier we were having a group of females as prostitutes and I feel that there is no such group now a day as everyone is ready to flirt, talk, and sleep with as many guys as they want. Whether it is for money or for pleasure this is also called as prostitution only.

I used to say that how a woman can become a prostitute without an involvement of a man, when the world used to accuse the prostitutes as bad woman or not to be called in the so called society as a dignified woman.

A prostitute is the one who kills her feelings and sells her body only for the sake of money which is far far better than the current happenings or the freedom of women. These women kill others feelings for their sexual needs and tries to kill many families by having an extra marital affair. Whether it is knowingly or unknowingly it is a sin and the curses of the other woman will make them to suffer like anything.

It is a known fact that men were having extra marital affairs since ages and how is it without females and they know the sufferings of other woman. How can they do it? But how is it only a guy is responsible for extra marital affairs?

In all times in the world men need sex and women need money, men has money and women has physical attraction and  to have the pleasure of money, they are ready to give the pleasure of sex to men. To acquire the wealth of the men, they are ready to give up everything including their name, fame & family.

Please before entering into the extra marital affair think about your spouse & kids, think about your second partner’s spouse and kids which can make you to feel that what you are going to do is a sin and you might not let the other person enter into your life.

Can you feel happy when your spouse says to some girl as baby, sweet heart, and darling how are you?Say to yourself that I love my spouse and I love to give them their dignity. They deserve the dignity through me. It is not only love, care but also the trust and respect what they have for you is what they expect from you.

If you said that all men are men means pigs, can I say that all women like you are pigs?

Truth is bound to win over falsehood.

Hey Dear All,

I am not blogging this as a part of learning some religion or to follow some religion. I am sharing this because if you want to follow your own religion follow it from the heart. If something mentioned here is wrong, please take it as an opportunity to correct my wisdom on the given contents from any religions.

Don’t ever pretend or take the do-able content from your religion and don’t do or show off something  to give an impression to others that you are clear and clean by heart as the other feels that you are following your religion from heart.

Friendship is something which is very green and pleasant to everyone. Here and there some will come and do little harm, insult, but the best of all relationship is friendship, because it doesn’t have blood relationship. It is very usual for people to have friendships with others whom they interact with . Friendships can be formed through growing up in the same neighborhood, meeting at school, college, university, social gatherings , working environment, gym, pub, restaurant and via a number of other activities.

Friendship is something common among people, however there are different conceptions of it. Some common conceptions include the following: friends will always stick by your side, you can always rely on a friend, you can speak freely to your friend and tell them your problems, friends like you for who you are, etc. When people have personal problems such as disputes with their family members or if they need advice they usually turn to their friends.

Do you know why god has not gifted the art of reading others mind, because he wants us to have the privilege of trusting, understanding and have faith in others.

When you start telling lies to your friend, do you know how it hurts the other person? Even before telling lies, I told you I will be saying a part of my life story to you as a lie. I will not be true in one scenario. I didn’t tell any lies to you. That is called as Sincerity. I tried to give trust by all means but you failed to keep up the trust in any means.

When you hurt someone, I believe you should face her in a remorseful way to show that you never meant to hurt her. If I was in her shoes I would want to know everything that goes around me, and if I discover that my friend exposed something and I found that out from someone else I would really get aggravated and I would feel that my friend isn’t worth trusting. “ONCE A LIAR IS ALWAYS A LIAR”

Don’t lie to your friend: 
One thing it is HARAM, second she is trusting you so don’t betray that trust if you let her know now you have a better chance of being trusted again than you would if you keep lying.

FOLLOW WHAT EVER YOUR HEART TELLS YOU, DON’T DO SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT END UP IN REGRETTING.

I do regret because of trusting you in-spite of knowing that you are lying to me. Over again and again I trusted you. All my pain is because of the trust what I had in you and I have to suffer for trusting you to this level. Yes I deserve punishment from god. You made me not to trust anyone in my life.

Truth is bound to win over falsehood.

In Today’s fast world most common problem in human is cheating others easily or to make fun of someone true feelings. If you are not serious for anything then don’t such things. Cheating/Betrayal is very painful for everyone. After hell of pain and agony, I am saying the below to the fellow people.

I am neither a follower of Islam nor Christianity and I am true to my religion. Even we don’t need to follow any religion, but we should not do harm to anyone by any means. Harm – unknowingly we do hurt others, but knowingly hurting others and giving them pain is sin in all the religions. There is no compulsion in any religion. Right has become distinct from wrong. So whoever rejects evil and puts faith in God has grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks.

I believe that God is hearing, knowing, and loving us. We don’t need to depend on others, but very few will make us to depend on them in the name of love for fun and they will ruin others life. This is to make someone understand that what their religion says about lying.

During a course of chat conversation, she said, I didn’t lie anything to you to harm you. I agree with her, may be her assumption is right, but there is a trust created in me. It is getting killed by your false statement which you were not aware of it or what?

After reading the below also, if you feel that you are not a liar, I am ready to change my assumption of saying tahat you are liar/cheater for your sake, I will say to the world she is not a liar, she talks only truth, when I will say that, I will not be true to myself. But I am ready to accept that you are not a liar or a cheater.

Lying

cheat-us-islamLying is among the sins of the heart. It is to utter false information while knowing that what one is saying is not the truth. It is sinful (haram) whether done seriously or jokingly.

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, said:

La yasluhul-kadhibu fi jiddiw wala fi hazl.  Which means: “Lying is not good, whether in seriousness or joking.” (Related by al-Bayhaqiyy.)

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, also said:   Iyyaka wal-kadhib, fa’innal-kadhiba yahdi ilal-fujur. Wa innal-fujura yahdi ilan-nar. Wala yazalul-^abdu yakdhibu wa yataharral-khadhiba hatta yuktaba ^indallahi kadhdhaba.

Which means: “Do not ever lie, because lying leads to very hateful sins, and those in turn lead to Hellfire. One keeps on lying and seeks to do that until one is recorded as a liar in some books of Allah.” (Narrated by Ibn Majah.)

After reading the above tell me, to whom you were sincere?? I don’t need to explain on this because when we tell lies, it means that you are killing the trust what the other person has on you. It need not harm them, but it is not going to help them or make them happy. When someone tells you, you look beautiful even though it is not from heart, that is not a lie, it makes someone happier for that moment. Telling someone a lie which is not going to harm them, or not going to have an impact on them, but still it is a kind of betrayal because the other person has so much trust on you that you will not tell any lies to her.

Trust, faith are something’s which you can’t get from someone without love. When someone trust you, you have to try to keep up the trust and not to misuse the trust. I showed my trust and faith because of the love what I had for you. Even though you have lived all your life only with lies, I have given more trust and trust and poured the faith, but failed to get even one percent of truth from you.

There are many things that are among the sins of the tongue and fall under the class of lying. They include: swearing by Allah to a lie, false testimony, and falsely attributing something to Allah and His Prophet.

When you promised something to me in the name of god, I was not able to feel it as a truth, because you are born to tell only lies. By swearing-in the name of god, you made me to feel that it need not a truth and made me to feel that even in the name of god she will tell lies. That is the trust what you have given to me. I swear, I got an impression, she will do any harm in the name of god also and she will say it is not harm.

Swearing by Allah to a Lie:

It is one of the major sins. It is for one to swear by Allah to something that is opposite to the truth. An example is if one says, “By Allah, I did such and such” while knowing that one did not do that action. Similarly, if one says, “By Allah I did not do such and such” when one has done it. This is to be considered using God’s name in vain, which indicates falling short of glorifying Allah properly.

I do believe that you will not lie in the name of god but when you say 10000 lies, even a truth in the name of god becomes a false statement.

False testimony: This is one of the enormous sins. An example is for one to testify in front of a judge that someone stole something while one knows that it did not happen. “False testimony is like claiming that Allah has partners.” (Related by al-Bayhaqiyy.)

Because of all your lies, now I feel even a true testimony from you whether it will be a truth or false statement? How do you expect me to trust you?

Severing the Obligatory Ties of Kinship

Severing the ties of kinship is among the sins of the body, and it is a major sin. This is done by breaking the hearts of the relatives by refusing to be good-hearted when they financially need money, or by leaving out visiting them without an excuse. If one usually helps one’s relatives, then one lost the money, or one found a more urgent need for it, then one would not be sinful for not offering it to one’s relatives. Avoiding people because they did something wrong to you or they tried to correct your mistakes or they treated you badly.

I don’t need to say about this, when one of your colleague was giving a party and the way you avoided it shows what kind of Muslim you are? When you can do this kind of arrogant attitude with a fellow Muslim lady, I can expect that you will do any kind of harm to me as I am from a different religion. When I heard it, I felt so bad because the way I had the trust in you, I thought you will not do these kind of silly things. How could you do this? whatever you discussed with me were words from your mouth not from heart.

Promotions are decided by the people who are ahead of us and if we don’t get it, it doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve it, god wanted someone else to get benefit out of it. You were saying that what is there I will get it when it is destined to me.. Now even if you get it doesn’t going to make anyone happy because the way you reacted to others happiness, will impact yours as well. I know you will not mind it because only humans will have

“Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allaah is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is Most-Forbearing.” [Quran 2:263]

I know how much I have forgiven you and tried to hold you not with hands, but with love and care, but you spoiled not only my trust but also killed my each and every cell with your ill attitude and behavior. I really don’t know how your parents will take when they hear about you from others, but I was brutally killed and I don’t feel like I have to live or to love anyone. You made me a dead body. I have life, but living like a dead body in grief because of the love for you.

Truth is bound to win over falsehood – God is with me, that’s why he made me to realize all your colors and made me to feel that this is a punishment for loving, trusting, caring, and showing the real affection to a person who don’t deserve it.

 Imām `Alī ibn Husayn (a.s.),

used to say to his son:“Keep away from little and big lies whether you are serious or kidding! Whoever tells lies in childhood, will do so in adulthood.”  Do you not know that the Messenger of Allāh (s.w.t) has said:
‘A servant may keep on speaking truthfully until Allāh (s.w.t) records him as a very truthful one, and a servant may keep on telling lies until Allāh (s.w.t) records him as a very lying one.’

[Reference: Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 69, p. 234]

To Speak the TRUTH, you don’t need to follow any RELIGION, just you need to follow your HEART. I quoted the above from your religion because you wrapped yourself saying that you are following your RELIGION and as per your Religion – how you need to be and what you are? You are not true even to god 😦 . 

Whatever I have given here are just to say that this is what you have to do, there is lot many more to come in your life and don’t give them the same pain. I am saying all these as  vent out all my pain, caused by you, without doing any harm to you. Even this is to guide you, to make you right in your way. If god can help you to correct your way, I will be thankful to him. I know I can’t do it, but god has to talk to you in a way so as you can change yourself. Of course he will touch you, if you don’t listen to him, he will shake you, if you don’t listen, then he will take the root so as you will know what you are doing is right or wrong.

Even after reading all this family values, if you say that you have a family value, oh god, what kind of value it is , please make me to understand it…..

How to Find a good person who will love you and not hurt your feelings….

How to Find a good person who will love you and not hurt your feelings….

Find good person who will love you and not hurt your feelings….

A friend of mine who has been giving trouble in all relationships and I was tired of being hurt and was getting hurt more and more. Initially I thought that I am doing something wrong and but the more I analyzed about her qualities, it seems to be like that her nature is quarreling character and she was never true to anyone or loyal to anyone around us. She always used to hurt one or the other around by any means.

I am sorry I will not write anything about her. I promised all my friends that I will not write anything about her anymore. I have some contents that need to be posted but it will be posted little later(as promised I will not write anymore).

It’s time for me to say about the trouble with relationships and who can love us and who will not hurt.

We have to learn what to look for in a relationship and the new standards that the potential things in love.

However, you should not feel love on not getting hurt, rather you should feel love as being showed respect, generosity, caring, appreciation… etc… love is sharing the care and concern, an affection , not with an intention of  getting  hurt.

I tried to show all of this but, really I got hurt but that is not the case with everyone with whom I move. “Love is when someone does not emotionally hurt you.” Ideally love is to support for your emotional needs. It differs from person to person in relationship.

If you get hurt physically/mentally with an accident or incident or by falling or some way and got a deep hurt, if the one you love is ready to apply the  medicine to your wound then you can feel that they are really in love and it would not mean that somebody loves you if they didn’t put acid on your wound. If they really care, they will have a piece of word and care to handle your grief and they will not add fuel to your grief. If someone adds grief in your life, you should know that the person doesn’t love you or the care shown by the person was never ever real.

Especially in the case of mother, you can feel that when you get drenched in the rain, everyone in the family will scold you, why don’t you wait for the rain to stop, it was cloudy, you could have taken the umbrella.. but a mother will bring in the towel to wipe the head. A love which never fades in any situation and in any circumstances. She will always think and be the first one to protect us.

You have to realize that the person is worth of understanding your pain or not. If they are not, obviously you don’t deserve to love them or to show your care for them because their love is fake.

In any relationships, no one is perfect and however you feel that you are perfect, you will always get hurt because no relationship is perfect, but it’s your ability to pick up from the hurt and keep up your relationship, try to help each-other and support each-other in difficult times is what makes your relationships more meaningful.

When the other person hurts you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you and in the same way when they don’t hurt you, it does not necessarily mean they love you.

Love is like showing someone how much you can show the care and love is like showing them as much as you love yourself. It is really a great feeling to show your love and care to someone sincerely but it is not your option to continue the same with someone who takes your for granted. You can give up yourself for their love but not your love for someone who doesn’t care about it.

It is always good to find somebody who will treat you well and not somebody who will not treat you bad. I mean it is good if you get someone who can treat you good but it is more good if they don’t ill treat you or hurt your love/feelings.

Greatest thing in love is to feel the love for someone and not not trying it or failing in it makes not much different. But when you feel the love, it makes a lot of difference.

Love – A greatest feeling and love to be loved and to be in love….

Harming ourselves

Harming ourselves

One of the greatest lesson what I have learned in the last few months is that never ever share your strength and weakness to anyone. 

When you don’t have the Love, it is your weakness. When you have the Love, it is your strength and when someone miss it, it becomes a PAIN. But everything differs from person to person and, there can be different situations too for every Individual.

Many times I used to feel that Love is my strength and loving a wrong person is my weakness. I love my strength and weakness. If I dont love a wrong person I will not understand what is my weakness also. Very rarely I used to feel that love is my weakness because someone we love makes us to feel that we are so stupid to do anything for them and makes us so senseless and thinks as foolish and drives as crazy. They make every move very curious and unusual and feel that we are unaware of what they are doing. We give up everything not for the love what we have but for the trust what they have in us.

Even though they consider our love as weakness, it’s our strength, no matter what or where or how it ends up in. Sometimes it will never ever begin in the opposite person because they were trying to test our love and trust.

Our weakness is that we can’t live without love, while our strength is from hope, to be loved , to love and continue in the love. Being able to love is a gift that one must keep like a treasure!

WE never know when, where and with whom we are going to fall in love and when you can’t help falling in it or for the person, without falling in it, how would you know how beautiful it is? But only when we suffer from the pain of losing we will know how pain love could be. Is it a treasure or pleasure nothing only the pain remains and the spirit of love lies as ashes of our burnt body. We can see our death, funeral and ashes when we lose the loved one or when we come to know that we are being betrayed by the lust not by the love.

Main reason for me to script this as a topic is because of my friend Imtiyaz  Ahmed. A friend who considers me as his mentor, but today I got a lesson from him and I have to consider him as my friend, philosopher and guide. It is not very easy for someone to teach me lesson especially when they speak, I will not listen or hear. Especially in the last 6 months I have become crazy and not in my control at all.

After 15 days of time, I said hi and hello to him, as usual he inquired about my health and I said I am not good and he is the one of the few friends to whom I can’t say something as I am always good when I am not good.

Immediately he called me in skype and we exchanged the greetings and he said, I am not seeing the old friend of mine, what happened to you? You are not of a person who can fall sick like this or the energy level is very low. He doesn’t know that someone has taken all my energy and living happily and made me like a dead body. It was just a 12 minutes of conversation and we don’t speak too much.

During the course of the conversation, he said, you want to come out of your trouble but you are unable to come out of it. You are trying by all means, I can suggest you the best medicine and don’t scold me (as usual I said I have to go for marriage). He said you know it is the best medicine for few and I feel that it can bring in the lost cheers of your life. In fact he doesn’t know that it can’t bring any kind of cheers in my life as I have walked far away from it.

I am sorry to talk more about your personal, but you know better than anyone and it is your choice of life. I told him thanks my friend. You know very well that I will not allow someone to talk more. He said it is my pleasure and we have not seen each other in the last 5 years and we know each other only through ERP network and I told him that your friendship is amazing for me. You have given a lesson for my life.

He said, when I was in class V , I was introduced by my friend to his grandfather and he told his dadaji  he is my dhost. That grandfather has told these two small boys that don’t ever tell someone as your friend and tell him as your class mate. The reason behind that was a friend is someone who can be part of your bad times and it is very hard to find such kind of people in this world. I don’t know whether that friend is still your friend or not, but I can say that you have supported me in all my bad times and I have got the greatest lesson from you when I need it the most.

He was the one who said that always we get hurt because of our strength and weakness getting exposed to someone and if you try to avoid it, then you will be free from hurt. You are giving them a chance to play with your strength and weakness.

Love is just a choice.  It can make few strong or and few weak , when it becomes strength, we become strong and when it becomes weakness, we go to the burial ground or we lose all our charm and it destroys our life. In Love we are our own dominator, till the time we have the control and when we consider the other person more than us, then we becomes zero.

Love makes you strong till the time you get the energy from the other person. When you give up all the energy to save the relationship, that moment you start becoming weak and the other person takes the whip and plays with your strength and makes beats you with your own love and trust.

Is love a strength or weakness?  If it is shared with a human, it is strength, if it is shared with a pig or a wild animal, it is weakness, because pig doesn’t feel shameful for any of its deeds and it will roam happily in the streets in the same way without any change in it and wild animals will never ever feel about love.

Happy Birthday – Yazhini

yazhini-13

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

வாழ்த்த வயதுண்டு

ஆனால்

வார்த்தைகள் இல்லை

என் இதயத்தின் சோகத்தினை

உனது குரலால்

சுகமாக நினைத்திட முடிந்தது,

உனது பிறந்த நாளுக்கு வாழ்த்து வேண்டுமாம்,

சகோதரனின் இம்சை,

இதயத்தின் துடிப்புகளை

வார்த்தைகளாக

உருவம் கொடுத்து

நிறுத்திவிட மனமில்லை

எல்லா நலமும், இனிய குணமும்,

இனிய பண்போடு

இன்று பிறந்த நாள்

கானும், எந்தன்

இனிய யாழினிக்கு,

இன்றுப் போல் என்றும் வாழ்க

என்பதே

இனிய பிறந்த நாள் வாழ்த்துக்கள் ! ! !

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Grief – Pain of Death

What is Grief?

Grief is the term used to describe emotional responses to major losses. Bereavement, grief, and mourning are all terms used to describe the same thing: the intense pain that follows the loss of a loved one.

I remember this word was told by my best friend recently and she said to me, you are not shedding your tears for the one who cheated you, but you are grieving for your lost child. Yes she was correct. I would have taken the grief also happily, if the kid would have died but it killed everyone and it is enjoying its life.

Most shameful thing is that one for whom I am killing  me(my happiness, peace, health, wealth, good habits) also asked me a question, if I die what will you do? I told her, I am not a Muslim to pack my grief in 3 days and we will have grief for one year and at least I will have deep pain for a year. but I didn’t know that before her death itself she will give that pain to me.

I know I was attending my own funeral by killing my happiness

This time I am not going to write about someone who is living, and this is about someone who will live in the hearts of many/ those who know him.

Senthil MariappanA Supply chain management consultant whom I know through my ERP network and I have not seen him during his life time, who has considered me as his sister and we used to chat a lot before and after his marriage. Due to work pressure and work tension and other unwanted association, I stopped most of my communications with many good hearts and Senthil was one among them.

Today I regret for not chatting with him during the last 1 year time. Most of the time, I used to communicate with almost those who are known to me and I don’t keep too much gap in my communication.

Due to the restrictions of the Gmail access and other social networking access in most of the companies, I have not seen him in online for long time and I am not very good in calling and speaking to my friends. I prefer to have the networking only through Gtalk or through Facebook. I do call those who used to pick their phone to reach me. Somehow we didn’t develop this kind of communication within us. I regret for not doing this my friend.

I have constant communications with his friends and I have asked about this guy with another friend also.

Suddenly a new ID, asked for permission to add me, I thought it is from a person who made me stupid by all means as I am expecting something from him. So added and asked a rough question who is this?  He asked “Do you know Senthil, I told him I know many Senthil as my brother’s name is Senthil, a friend from Abu Dhabi is Senthil, and couple of more people as Senthil from ERP network.

Even before answering my question he said, he passed away in Andaman. I was shocked and he pasted the local newspaper content.News paper confirmed it happened on 17th March. Tears were flowing like anything because of thinking about his wife who was married two years back. There are some ugly characters living in this world, but god likes only good hearts. He gives more pain to those who are good and takes good people to his kingdom who are very soft and good.

I was shattered; I was unable to believe that he is no more. I was not able to believe it, but the newspaper message said that it is him and it has shown the license copy of my friend. He died because of a heart attack and at the age of 31. Oh god, you are giving stone heart to some people and so soft heart to good people? what is this my lord? why are you playing like this?

There are people who are asking you for death, there are people who are sinners, who are cheaters, who are betrayers, who live and suck others blood like an animal, and this guy is so soft, a good heart person and why you wanted his life to end so soon?

Anyway I was grieving for something and god is showing that these kind of things are happening in the world, don’t worry, good deeds and bad deeds doesn’t come with others deeds. It is based on their own deeds only.

Grieving Losses – Grieving the loss of someone whom we love will be there in our heart for a long very long period and it is very painful process. But there is still hope. That we will cope up and come back to normal.

Grieving from a loss and healing from that loss require one to examine and re-examine the place of a loved one or a relationship. This process, the grief stages, of getting used to life without someone close to you can take over a year to work through. Experts have compared the death of a child, for example, to what it feels like to lose a limb. It gets easier to cope as time goes on, but it still takes a long time to work through the stages of grieving.

It’s easy to formulate a theory or a process for your grief to work through; however, actually working through those stages of grieving proves much more difficult. We may have a lot of method to grief, and each method looks different for each person.

After all, some steps in the healing process are easier than others—some days are easier than others. Your relationship with your loved one was unique (as like her name); expect you’re grieving to be unique. The way of hurt is also unique, very deep and it is very difficult to get healed, but god has shown the ways.

My grief was not in coping with death which allows you to meet really supportive people, but the death of someone inside the heart. But this death of my friend really made me to feel that why should I grieve because god has not taken that life, and even if it happens I will not feel heartache this much because I know that she is an unworthy person.

This death of my friend has given me a lesson that I have to be supportive to those who lost him as a mentor, the person who shared this news with me has got my mail id from my friend(Senthil) saying that she is my sister, send your CV to her, she will help you.

Somehow this new friend has not shared his CV with me, but when I got the friend request from him, I was really in a different mood and I was feeling that someone is going to get killed by me.

Bereavement requires a grief support group. Somehow I have an aversion of death and I used to get ready for the people around me about their death well in advance so as I can take it up when I face the situation.

As you work through the death of a loved one, you need a place where you can vent, where you can be honest about grief and your emotions, and where you can move through the grief stages without fear or regret.

If we get ready to get the support for the grief, it can provide a really support of friends who identify with you at a very deep level. They can move beyond showing you sympathy to really empathizing with you. I can say that I got lot of support to come out of the grief, unfortunately I was not able to come out of the grief and the situation how I was has become grief to many people around me. With the existing pain I was in deep pain because all the lovable people around me are also suffering because of me.

Will I ever see my loved one again?” The bonds forged by shared experiences are the strongest bonds. And, as you struggle to find meaning in death and dying, realize you’re not alone.

Sometimes, the sadness may be an opportunity for us to return to faith in God or involvement in our religious system. The belief in an afterlife can really ease our minds when it is for others but when it comes to loss of family members or the death of a child it is really a difficult task to handle.

I was killing myself for the death of my unborn child is really painful because, it was not born to me, but it was in front of me, it was not my adopted child, it was not of my blood  and I just felt the feeling of a child through her and how could I come out of this heavenly feeling?

She is alive and I have to consider her as dead. How to grief for the one who is alive and need to feel that she is dead? How to control myself with this feeling? What kind of death you have shown to my kid god? Why did you give that feeling through her? If I don’t grief for this then for what I could grief and I will not be called as a human because I don’t show my grief out for any other things other than the people hurting me in this way.  

Normally When I grieve for someone deeply, I will think 100 times and Iw ill come out faster. This time my grief is not only because of the death of my child, but also because of self-pity and I was not able to forgive myself for allowing someone to play with my feelings and sentiments

What is the purpose of grief in our life? The other name of mine is Hope and Encouragement. The way I give my hope and encouragements are from me, and it is not from their strength, it is from my strength, I am giving them the life of hope.

My word of hope creates encouragement in them and they find the hope in front of their eyes through me. To give others hope, I must have the hope of living and leading the life happily. I can’t tell someone smile from heart, when I don’t smile. When I say something to others I have to follow and I don’t like to tell someone which I don’t follow. I am a follower and not a preacher.

Finding God and Your Grieving – Anything under God’s Control is never out of control, God will make a way even though there seems to be no way!

May of my friends suggested me to enter into spirituality, but for me it is a big problem that I can even think about god, when I am not happy. That means I pray to god only when I am happy and I can’t go to him to cure my pain or sorrow. It is not the time to embrace my god, because he knows that I am weak if he gives me trouble. He knows my strength, he knows my weakness, and if he is giving me some pain means, he knows that I need the strength to overcome this and he knows when to give that strength also to me.

I beg for others to god not for my weakness because that weakness was given by god, why should I go and beg him saying that give me strength. I will say, I know you are the creator, you are the screen play writer, you wanted me to go through this pain, I don’t know how long I have to go through this, but give me the serenity to understand that “Even this will pass away”. I am very weak mentally and only with you I am a very strong woman. You are my strength, I trust in you and I move with your guidance. Do whatever you want to do with me. If this is your wish and play, let me enjoy and suffer it.

You want me to curse someone, let me do it, you want me to feel someone as very bad human of this world, let me feel it, but don’t make me to hate her. If you say that, then there is no use of all my grief. I know god, with great difficulty only you made me to come out of that hell. But still why did you allowed me to enter into the hell.

The Hold books are real, authentic, genuine book– filled with the stories and thoughts of real people. I don’t prefer to get into religious sentiments when I am sad because our mind will not allow us to get in touch or to feel the divine.

I know it helps to convince us that our grief is just in our head. Your grief is real, your pain is actual, and there’s still the opportunity for true healing.

If you consider most prominent people from religious front, their life was filled with sorrow, much of their life they will be betrayed, cheated, or wanted to be killed by his opponents, close friends cheating, family taking revenge, but they will be able to devote their time to god. Somehow I have not come to that situation to devote my time to god because I was holding the unwanted things in my hand, head, heart…

To end whatever I am, it is the glory of my beloved parents, friends, siblings, family, surroundings and the heavenly father. I know only one thing is that I don’t go with the wind, but I go with guidance of my god. My trust and faith in you can’t be shattered because of this kind of painful moments. I know you will help me to recover, but it really took long time as I have not spent that much time also with her.

They all have turned me from my mourning into smiling, of course dancing is not possible and I lost every charm of my life with one world. 

God has put off my black days and hugged me with gladness through different and new people, when I was holding the pain of my life and in deep grief. Thanks for the support.

I praise the god for giving the serenity in marvelous splendid way to accept the truth and not to go silent to the cemetery.  Thank you for giving me the realization that I was digging my own burial ground and giving me the clarity that I am not for that. I thank you for providing so many wonderful hearts around me and sincerely praying to you to guide all of them in their special way and keep all of them under your shadow and within the reach of my heart.