Family Values Continues….
Respect – what you know about respect is 0%, It is none of my business to worry about it, but I lost my self-respect too because of you in front of everyone.
This is a bit more difficult to explain it for you because you never know what respect is and you failed to learn from all your elders, schools, colleagues, professional environment… I really feel pity that no one never ever tried to teach what it is to you.
There is a saying in Tamil, Kadamaiyai Sei, Palanai Edhirpaarkkadhea” “Do your duty and don’t worry about results”. This will not bring in benefit in you, but it will bring to someone else. I hope you know this is from “Gita”. Arjuna was not interested to start the fight with his own blood and countrymen. Krishna tells him “Fighting is your duty. Do it. Don’t worry about the result”. If you die you would go to heaven. Or if you win, you would be giving the enemy an opportunity to go to heaven. In any case it is good.”
For my family, to respect each other is to take feelings, thoughts, needs, and preferences, living for each other, leaving them when need to be alone and discussing with everyone when making any decisions. It also means acknowledging and valuing everyone’s thoughts, feelings and contributions to the family as a whole.
Respect is an important family value will extends out of the home to school, work or other social settings.
Respect is indeed not given but earned and there is a very fine line between respect and fear. The only way to earn and keep someone’s respect is to first show them respect yourself.
Respect to your Parents/Elders:
If you have respect to parents, you will not do anything against them. If they don’t like you to speak to someone, you will not call when they are not around. Whatever you do will impact your parents and elders in your family. So far whatever you have done, it has a huge impact. Is it what you feel as respect or love for your family?
Respect to your Husband
I don’t need to discuss more about this, because if you have little respect for him, then you would have handled all your problems differently. You will not say that I don’t even share with my SH, he will pressurize and know it from me, that shows how much you have respect for everyone.
Respect to your Boss
I don’t want to say anything about you in this regard it might give some negative impact about you. I know you have not done any mistake, but I can’t correct everyone’s image in my content. Let me say about my experience then you can correlate it with your experiences. I used to go with my boss in his car every day, when our office was in a different place.
It is normal practice, every day he will pick me from my guest house and he will drop me back. My boss used to say that “I am responsible for your safety and I am answerable to your parents when you are away from them. Tell your parents that you have a father here to take care of you and let them not feel worried about you”.
One day he was busy in a meeting from 4PM and I waited till 6 PM and as I was not aware where he is, I traveled with another technical consultant who used to travel by public transport. Before leaving the office I sent him a mail/sms (I don’t remember).
He called me in 30 minutes and asked me how dare you are to travel alone? I told him I am not going alone, am with so and so and now the time is just 6.30PM. Immediately he said is he a super hero, do you know this city very well? If two guys come and beat this guy what will happen to you? You can be brave enough but you can’t take this kind of risk.
Stay wherever you are and I will come and pick you up. Why I am sharing this incident is, I am not a cheap person to talk about someone unwantedly. Especially I don’t like to talk bad about females and that too for travelling with their boss.
One day I was supposed to attend a seminar on CRM, as I report to my boss, I didn’t inform any colleagues that I will not be coming to office. Normally I don’t maintain any cordial relationship with colleagues. After the seminar, I entered the office with my boss.
One of my colleagues gave a vulgar comment and I gave him the required nose cut on the spot. After that I told my boss, what happened. My boss smiled and asked me, do you worry about his comments? I said yes I do because it is not only impacting my character, it impacts yours as well, I can’t allow someone to spoil your reputation and I can’t be the reason to spoil it. This is called as respect.
The main reason for me to share this story, I remember that I shared this with you many times, but the essence of it never entered your head or heart. Otherwise you would not have got such a bad name. The main reason for me to return the gifts in anger was this one. You don’t have any respect for your boss too. If you are sincere, then you will not do something to harm his reputation. How you degraded him in front of others?
You will not be worried but am sure that he will be worried to know that his reputation is getting spoiled. It is not easy to create reputation for others, but it is easy to spoil it sweet heart.
Respect for friends:
First you don’t know the meaning of friendship, and then only I can talk about respect for friends. But I told you many times, don’t spoil my reputation with my friends. What is the need for you to do all nonsense? You made everyone to feel that you are rotten egg by your behaviors, attitude, and irresponsible activities.
The way you spoiled my reputation, huh, do you think that I don’t have guts to speak to your boss? I will do anything and everything to safe guard your reputation. But I didn’t do it because of the respect what I had for you. It will take only one minute for me to speak to him, but it will take all your life to clear that image. Literally when I came during first week of January’13, I wanted to talk to him not about you, but the way his name is getting damaged.
We have to be very careful in giving saving our reputation with others as well as protecting others image. Knowingly or unknowingly you have done all the damages for everyone around you.
I told you in the beginning itself, that I have high opinion about him, even you will do some nasty things, but he will not do anything like that. You have done the worst of all in your life.
After all this, if you say you have some family values or you know what respect is, please explain what kind of respect and who has seen your respect? Let me understand your value of respect from you. May be I failed to learn that way of respect in my life. I love to learn even from youngsters.