When I wrote about values of the family, I wanted to share more things, but felt that it will be too much to share it in one article, so wanted to share it as different articles. I want to share many more contents on family value.
Core value of the family is Love.
How to say about Love to you? If I can’t make you understand that what is love, then it is not my failure because I have given so much about love in the last one year. I can assure you that no one in the world can make you understand what love is? Whatever sufferings I got/had because of you is out of the true love.
There is a saying “If someone is sleeping, you can wake them up, but if someone is acting that he/she is sleeping, whatever you do or try, we can’t wake them”
In your case also, it is same story, if you want to know what love is, you would have known by this time, and you don’t want to know what it is and want to spend time with others just like a time pass.
Even after knowing that you are acting and you are not true, I never changed my color that is called as love. I remember one time, you said I don’t know what is love, may be that is why you all misunderstand me. I really felt so bad when I got that message from you.
People talk so much about Love but I really don’t know what it is?
When you get irritated or angry with me & I try to convince you that feeling is Love, When I told, I don’t want to talk to you and the same second you used to ask me, do you think you can do that?? When you don’t talk to me & I get worried about you that is called Love. When you care for me whenever am sick or in pain, that is LOVE. When you get scared even from the thought of us being apart from each other, that scary feeling is called LOVE, and finally even when you discarded me from your life, still am living with your false words that is also called as LOVE. When I was ready to die and all those hearts without taking it as a revenge and tried to convince me and was with me all through my sufferings is LOVE. Even after all your ill treatment, irrational, arrogant behaviour/attitude, am trying to explain everything is called as LOVE
This is also one of the family values. But I don’t want to share that how you have to teach or how it comes with us as a family values. Each religion says that there is punishment for whatever sins we do. When we do a mistake at home, everyone in the family will scold us, scream at us, slap us, fight with us and it leads to misunderstanding and understanding the right and wrong as well.
I feel that each family member has a role to explain the others what is good and what is bad and when you do something wrong they have to correct it. If I would have done the same thing whatever you have done, for sure my family would have killed me. As killing is a sin, they would have asked me to get out of the house; simply they will not fight with me, they will tell me that I can’t be a person with a heart. We don’t want a beast in this family. Because we love and adore love and our faith in life is only LOVE, Trust, Faith and Honesty.
I have not tried to punish you, but I tried only to correct you, for which you have given the worst punishment for me.
My parents they never used to scold us or slap us when we go with fail marks or even when we do some mistakes also, but if someone gives some complains they will take it very seriously and they have shown us their care in a different way. Yes that day we will get the royal treatment not with love, but with severe punishments. When we do the same mistakes again and again, they will show their way to correct us.
Especially my father, he will see the report card and say last time you got 60 and this time you failed in that subject, very good you didn’t study well so you failed. It’s alright, you can get good marks next time. When I fail in the next term, I used to get the slaps.
I remember when I was in nursery school, when a teacher slapped me for not completing my homework and next day my mother had a fight with her and said that if she is not giving respect you can correct my daughter but don’t ever slap her for not completing her homework. Both her parents are working and we don’t have time to check regularly whether she does it or not. That is called as LOVE and care from a parent. I got slaps the next day also because of my mother because she felt that my mother was rude. That is a different story
Punishments are part of life and it is very much required and in a fear we will not do mistakes. Here I mean mistakes are the sins.
Do you want to know how you gave punishment for showing my love to you? Do you know how my heart was feeling, it said don’t think about her to mind and it was really a hell for me.
Most of the time I was feeling that you are hitting it with nails. Your silence was hammer and my care for you was the nails and you tried to harm my heart with my care – the nails what I gave to you was not a weapon but you made it as a great weapon and royally screwed me with your silence as a hammer.
At one point of time, my heart said to me, I can’t stay in your body because you are not ready to kill your feelings for her and you are not ready to kill yourself also, what is the need for me to have this pain because of sharing pure love and care for someone who is not worth of it.
PLAYING – Does it come as playing with others feelings as family values?
Life is a game, play it. But it doesn’t mean that you have to play with other’s life my dear. Life is to love and love is to live and you played with my life. How cleverly/cruelly you played with it.
I am lucky and am surviving because of so many lovable characters that entered my life. 4 doctors, 4 astrologers, 4 kids, 40 new friends, 400 friends and 40000000 gods and all of these made me to feel that I have to live.
Do you know it is very easy for me to play with all of them including you, but the trust what they have in me is what makes me to be loyal to them as a friend, guide, philosopher, sister, care taker or sometimes even as an enemy as they consider me in their life. I tried to show the same trust to you is the biggest mistake of my life.
I was not ready to accept that you played with my feelings. You know very well, I don’t give tension to my heart and mind. Whatever mind says heart will agree and whatever my heart feels mind will agree to it. You made me to think like a normal person. Mind with the intellect started feeling it on September 27th that this is stupid crazy lady don’t trust her, but the bloody heart was not ready to accept it and all my pains started only because of the conflicts between my mind and heart. Mind was yelling to throw you out and heart was bleeding and begging to keep you in.
Of course you are the culprit. Instead of saying that I love you, you could have said that I need you for this reason. I would have been the same with you because my love is true. Even now only thing hurts me is what the need for you to act with me?
If you could have done this with a guy it has some other meaning, or it has some value. If you could have done it with your colleagues, it has some meaning. Why with me? What did I do to you? May be god wanted me to give up my life’s most ambitious dream of adoption.
Anyway the way you entered in my life, it was very pleasant. All the pleasant stories will have a nasty end only. The way you gave the pleasant memories, I can’t even think about it now. When I type pleasant, I am thinking what it was and how it was. This moment I don’t have any feelings because I have thrown my heart out of my body. I don’t even feel that it was beating for me.
It also said like you, I will not stay with you because your love for her is over love and you don’t love yourself. May be my heart also wanted to show its real color to me by going out of me. In a way it is good because I will not have this kind of pain anymore. I don’t have any more things to lose as well.
It was very easy to say Hey I played with your feelings, this is my real color. I remember that you told me once who is iron me or your best friend you will come to know… You are the iron lady no doubt in that not my best friend and she is very soft lady. You can break her easily and I have done the same with you. I wanted to break you into pieces. I never know that you took it as a challenge within yourself to show that you are the iron in such a way.
Simple words would have made me not to feel this much, at least don’t do the same with others. That is my humble request. I don’t know what made you to do all this cruel things with me? I allowed you to enter into my life and you played royally with all my feelings. I allowed you to kill me.
God has given this punishment to me as well as he recovered me in a beautiful way even before I do some harm to you for which I have to say thanks to him. Thanks for the time, will catch you with thanks as next family value 🙂