Archive | March 2013

Family Values Continues…

Family Values Continues…

To be honest, I am so sick of writing about your words. but I am unable to stop because each and every word of you is killing me like anything… since I considered all your words as my kids words…. even one of my friend asked me, where do you get this much time to read about Islam, I said I create time for me to read it because I considered her as my daughter and two people in a family can follow two religions but I should know about my daughter because I have to see whether she follows her religion properly.

Recently the same friend asked me, you were searching a religious person in her, I don’t see any humanity in her and don’t waste your time on these kind of unworthy person. Your time is precious whatever you have spent is enough for this kind of lady.

I wonder how do you say yourself as Muslim or follower of Islam? I am astonished to feel the goodness and I have not read the below or said this to anyone and I fell that below quote is also required for one to be a human. But still your holy book Quran has said this, but you have not followed them when talking to others.

Allah has clearly mentioned in the Quran:

“When a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy. Allah takes careful account of all things.” (Surah Nisa – 4:86)

It is fundamental that when someone says or greets us we have to return his/her greeting in the most courteous way. If you are frowning or if you do not reply please remember that Allah is keeping an account of this and you will be held accountable on the Day of Judgment. I can feel for you now, what will be your final result of your sins (not only with me, with all others around you)

We must remember if we do not like something about someone or if we think that somebody is not following some Islamic tenet properly, we are supposed to let the other person know without offending them.

Have you tried to do it? Even if you don’t like to communicate with me, you are supposed to say this, have you done it? How can you get forgiveness from me or do you think god can forgive you or bless you for the evil what you have done?

Allah says “Invite (all) to the Way of your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for your Rabb knows best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.” (16:125)

One of the best examples of this would be the story of Hassan (rta) and Hussain (rta), the grandsons of Prophet (SAW).

One day an old pious Bedouin came to Medina. At the time of Prayers he began to make ‘wudu’ but he was making his wudu incorrectly. Hassan (rta) and Hussain (rta) saw the old man making ‘wudu’ wrong and they wanted to correct him. They didn’t want to offend him or make him feel insulted, so they came up with a plan. They went to the old man and said, “My brother and I disagree over who amongst us performs ‘wudu’ the best. Would you mind watching us make ‘wudu’, and be the judge to see which one of us indeed performs ‘wudu’ more correctly? Could you please correct us wherever we are wrong?” The man watched carefully trying to judge who is better. In the end he understood what was going on and said “By Allah, I did not know how to perform ‘wudu’ before this. You have both taught me how to do it correctly.”

If you felt something is wrong at my end, I have given all the rights to you to correct me, I don’t need you to say in the above polite manner, but you could have said it with your higher voice also because I love the correction than to keep silence. Above all your religion also says that don’t keep silence. It is also a sin.

“A believer is friendly, and there is no good in one who is neither friendly nor is treated in a friendly way. (Tirmidhi 4995; and Ahmad)

Do you treat anyone as a friend? Are you friendly? I treated you more friendlier way than what you are and may be that is why god punished me.

“Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than charity followed by injury. And Allah is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is most Forbearing.” (Quran – 2:263)

“Allah does not love the utterance of evil words in public except by one who has been wronged. Allah is He Who hears and knows all things.” (Quran -4:148)

May Allah forgive all my mistakes I have made here and guided me on the correct path by separating me from your thoughts. Only because of god, it happened.

I know how much strong I was with you and I was damn sure that my love for you will kill me, because already it made me to leave this worldly life and I was waiting for the right time to kill myself. But god didn’t allow me to do it till 06th of January and really my best friend’s words “you are crying for your dead child”, that was the first way of god helping me to recover from the way I was feeling for you.

I cried a lot on that day and when I was coming back, the air hostess was shocked to see me and was feeling that I am going for a funeral back home and she asked are you alright, is everything ok at your end. That moment I felt, no my kid is dead. You are alive, but only my kid is dead and even if you die, no one will cry for you like this, because of your nature.

Death of someone when they are living is really painful and you have given that pain also to me. What else you want to do?

God I am happy that you showed me the way to exit. But I wonder how did I enter the hell when you are guiding me, walking me? Without you I don’t go out, without your guidance, I don’t do anything, with my prayers, you allowed her to enter and without praying you want me to live all my life? It is really difficult for me to pray without her name, but how can I pray for someone’s happiness whom I consider as dead?

But the best of you(god) is showing her real color through another lady. Oh god, I never expected that she will be of that kind and she can do such kind of activity. I never expected anything from her, but I don’t expect these kind of thing from my friends and family.

I can’t allow this kind of person in my life forever. I was with blind faith even before my last communication with her. I was ready to feel bad about my other friend, but was not ready to give up my trust what I had for her. She royally screwed with a lie saying that it was not by her.

That time, I came to know her real color and I felt so bad for loving such a bad person in my life. Even at that moment she was not ready to accept her mistake and she was not ready to say that it was her mistake and was ready to blame me saying that as if I made the friendship for her.

You said that I have too much expectations , huh I never expected that she will say that it is not her ID, I expected her to accept that it was and I know with how much difficulty she said that it was her id.

I got wild and said that I know how to find it out whose ID is it and she forced me to threaten her saying that I will go to cybercrime branch and even after that she was not ready to accept that it was her ID and was keen to know how we came to know about it?

With that false statement, all my trust with you is gone and now I suspect her so cheaply and not only by me, the entire surrounding is feeling bad and I am really feeling ashamed of myself that I was with you for some time and I considered this kind of person as my kid. Good that my best friend told that statement and I was feeling happy because I came to know her real color within 15 days of that statement.

Where is the family value ? I don’t need to doubt, but the entire world will doubt whether this kind of person can come from a family?

Whatever happened in your life, says that you are not worth to be called as a human, you said that you are a wife, you have a family, you are a woman….

Whatever happened in my life is good for me, because I trust in god and god has guided me to fall in love and to come out of love as well.


Family values continues…

The habit of Praying It is not the most important aspect of life, but it is an aspect of life.

Prayers are for Happiness. Prayers are having the love of God. Prayers are for making us discipline. Prayers are for saying thanks, Prayers are for teaching the good and bad. Most importantly, it gives a feeling that we will be punished for our evil doings.

Above all, prayers make us to feel that God is there and we get god fearing. There is a saying that those who goes to church are not saints, same way those who cover them with all kind of religious rituals need not be saints or the best of human. Those who do sins are also under the cover of religion and portray themselves as super believer and follower of their religion.

Religion doesn’t lead us not only to believe in god, but it makes us to believe in ourselves. When we follow a religion, we follow at least the basics of the religion. All the religion speaks only about love, respect, truth, honesty, Faith, good and bad.

Those who say there is no god also live a happy life.There are people who follow the rules and they have their own way of life and they go with discipline.

Prayers are not for asking something from god. It means that we have an interaction with the god. It is a form of communication with the unknown soul or the light of life or the holy spirit or the deity or an object. Prayers can be on an individual person as well.

Prayers are not that going to the temple every day or offering prasadh every day or reading the bible every now and then or not praying 5 times a day. It is something beyond that. Prayers are not only for the purpose of worshipping the god, requesting for the guidance, requesting for the assistance, requesting for guidance, confessing our sins or to express one’s thoughts and emotions.

People pray for many reasons such as personal benefit or for the sake of others but parents must guide the kids that they have to pray for others because it will avoid the selfishness in a human.

The best thing what I learned about prayers is praying for others and I started doing it from my teens. I was not a strong believer of god till my 14 years. I used to pray for name sake, I used to follow the religious rituals now and then. I was not so religious as like I am now. I never used to go to temple and if at all I go, I will go because all my family is going.. I will not pray sincerely from heart.

I started going to temple only because of a friend, neighbor lady who was elder to me by 5 or 6 years. She used to go to the temple every day and the way. she was very soft natured and the way she was I felt that I have to become her friend. As a neighbor, she used to smile at me. That was the first communication in between us. One day, she asked what are you doing, are you free? Can you come with me to the temple? I still remember that I raised my eyebrows in a peculiar way and she said shall we go?

Only for her I started going to the temple. I didn’t know that friendship will last in few months, but she was the first one who made me to visit the temple regularly and I started praying for her welfare unknowingly, my first prayer for others was for her sake and I used to ask god, give her the best what she deserves. She got married within few months and left that place to her husband’s house. I was going to the temple as she inculcated the habit of going to the temple. Even now my prayers will have her name. It is nearly two decades over, she will feel happy that someone is offering prayers for her regularly.

Prayers are often considered as religious practice and it creates a psalm, mantra or praise or the creed. With prayer we start to believe, in particular a statement of faith that is created within ourselves. Prayers not only creates faith but also it creates a faith that god listens to our prayers. Indirectly it teaches us to listen to others. If you can’t listen to others, how can you expect god to listen to you or to your prayers?

Listening is a skill that needs to be developed and practiced.  It is not so easy to listen, observe and pay attention to someone else without thinking about what you want to say next.  Listening is an art that can be developed and is really appreciated by others.  When was the last time you felt that somebody was truly listening to you and actually hearing what you were saying?

When was the last time you that listened to someone who was truly caring and explaining to you how actually you have to be?

Love is the ultimate essence of all the Religions. Especially hurting the one who loves you is a sin and you will not do that with much ease as if you don’t have a heart at all. I can show many situations that you don’t have any respect for your religion.

If you have belief in you and your prayers, you will not ask others to pray for you. I know for sure that whoever you see, you will ask them to pray for you. What is the need of it my dear? I started praying for you even before you asked me.

When I used to say that I am going to a temple or something, your first word will be pray for me, you only know how much sins you are doing and you want to get rid of it with others prayers is it?

I do pray every day my dear but I don’t pray even once asking something for me. I just say to god, be with me, guide me and whatever comes let it be in your name.

I do ask the god many things but not for me, only for my friends and family. For my family also, I never asked give a kid to my sister or job to my brothers or anything. I will say be with my kids, parents & family.

For all my friends, it will start with Ajay & Family till Zahra & Family, I used to say to keep almost the closed one of my circle in my prayers. Please give them what they want(health/wealth/knowledge). When I say your name, a big smile will come in my face.

When it is for you, I know how sincerely and whole heartedly I will ask it. You are the only one who is known to me, but I have kept your husband, parents, brothers, sisters and your sister in law in my prayers. Without reason I used to keep your DD also in my prayers.

When I pray for you, I used to feel that I have become selfish in praying. I used to tell god, please let this be my selfish prayer, so far I have not asked you anything for myself and please give this for her. When your father was sick and hospitalized, literally I prayed and said if you want a life, take my life, let that gentle man see his grand kids through her and let him see the happiness of his daughter.

Do you want to know how to pray?

All our prayers have to come from our heart. Our heart and mind should have the control towards god. God will speak to you in splendid ways. Miracle happened with me, you were aware that I was very much interested in someone to get married.

When I was praying for you, a sudden instinct came during my prayers; can you give up everything for her? I was not able to feel what happened in my prayers, if you really want her to have a kid, give up all your dreams. Make a promise to yourself that you will not go for marriage or even for adoption.

If you have any doubt, you can check with Anantha, he asked me why don’t you fill in the forms now itself, First I told him, let me enjoy this kid’s love, then I will go for it. Later I told him about the prayer. I have shared this recently even with my best friend. She asked me get married and you have your own kid, why you need to have this kind of kid in your heart? I told her, I don’t know why god gave me that instinct when I was praying, if at all If I go for marriage or for adoption now because of my anger or to divert myself from this kid, I have to suffer all through my life, if she doesn’t deliver a kid. Let her deliver a kid, and then if it is god’s wish, it will happen.

I can say even your own sister/brother or anyone in your family will not think this much or give up their life for you.  

My Love for you is devotion and it was not addiction.

Devotion is something given towards god and dedication is offering to god. Devotion – I can’t even say it as dedication because anything dedicated can be bought, I have not dedicated myself to you, but devoted to you.

Addiction is usually to substances. Devotion is towards something that you hold above yourself. Devotion cannot be practiced. It cannot be cultivated or preached or inculcated. When you are overwhelmed by something or somebody that you see, something or somebody way above yourself, far beyond yourself, naturally devotion comes. It’s very natural.

Addiction happens because you taste something and you like the experience of it. The more you taste, the more hooked and trapped you are. Tell me what I have tasted with you to be an addict of you?

Dedication – is on convenience “I’m willing to do this as long as it doesn’t cost me that. I’m willing to dedicate this, but only to a specific level or time.”

Devotion is something comes out of our control. Devotion is inevitably losing the soul in something which makes someone to feel calm. “I don’t care what it costs me, how I feel, or what I think – this piece of my life isn’t mine anymore. It is completely and totally yours and surrendering it to the unknown.”

Devotion is that state of the heart in which everything – our whole life, being, and possessions – are a continual offering to God, that is, they are continually devoted to God. True devotion must be the supreme devotion of the will, extending out to all we have and are – to all times, places, employments, thoughts, and feeling. That’s what was the feeling what I was having for you. Even after all your atrocious activities, that devotion is still there and feels will she not correct all her mistakes?

Now a days, I am not able to skip your name or to feel that smile. It is paining to pray also. I know I stopped praying for everyone because it is very difficult for me to exclude someone from my prayers list. List keeps on growing but I never used to cut shot the names. I was not able to pray sincerely because of the pain what you have given. When your turn comes, either I will get struck or I will start shedding tears. When I pray I don’t fail to include you in my prayers, without you there is no prayer for me. I can forget my prayers with my god but without you there is no prayer for sure.

I will feel like what kind of prayer I have to offer for her.  I do pray when I hear the Azan, luckily in Dubai I don’t hear it all the five times, but at least 100 times I will say to god, at least when she bends to pray, make her true to you. Let her be true to herself those 5 minutes of time during the prayer.

Everyday minimum 5 times, I pray for you to the heavenly father, guide her and make her true, sincere, lovable, honest, trust worthy and caring person.

Along with prayers other traits like faith, listening and focusing comes in and that is the reason I say prayer and way of praying has to be taught to the kids by the parents, but we can’t enter into the heart whether the person prays or acts, it depends on the individuals only.

Simple truth if u don’t want to know what is pain then don’t love anyone truly. If someone loves you truly, never show them what is the pain of betraying/cheating/hatred/hurting.

Shit – How long you will hold the shit in your hands ?

Shit – How long you will hold the shit in your hands ?

I really wanted an interesting topic to start my 251 content and when I started feeling to write about it, a flashy smile touched my face. Shit and my smile… both are same only.

One of my friends asked me why you want to take the shit with you like this forever? What is the need? The one who created this much pain and problem is a bitch and throw it. When I heard the word as bitch i felt so bad, don’t say like this. She said, I don’t care who it is and I know only the person who is in front of me and I worry for you not for anybody else.

Why are you trying to hold it and how long you will hold the shit in your hands? Are you holding it to feel the nasty smell of it?? If you hold a flower also for more than 3 days in your hands, it will give a bad smell. Hold anything and everything only till the time it has its freshness

I am not of a person who will give up so easily without fighting back. When I know that there is no use, I will give up even without fighting. That is what happened with the shit when I was carrying in my heart. I never asked her why did you do this or why did your blood boss called me or why did your husband called me and asked unwanted questions or why did you speak about me to your friends when he was flirting with you. If you want to change the topic, you can talk about your father, your mother, your siblings or at least about that guy’s family. Why the hell about me? I know for sure that the shit doesn’t have any answer for it.

But this shit has moved from heart to head and started giving me trouble even in my deep sleep. It seems that I was screaming, blabbering and fighting in my sleep uttering the shit name, her boss name, husband name and her friend’s name and seems had a big fight with the boss. That was the reason for my friend to say that you are running away from the problem. Try to fight it in person and clear it from heart and head.

I tried to clear the shit, shit changed the numbers so I was not able to, tried to reach the boss didn’t replied to my message and now I have only one option to speak to her husband, but I don’t want to because, let god punish all these people and fortunately god did not make my attempts to win and let the things whatever has to happen, let it happen.  I don’t need to clear others shit, I just need to flush the shit what I was carrying with me.

I was little upset because I want to throw the shit on the shit face in front of her boss and family. Man proposes and god disposes. That is what happened, I go with my god’s decision. I sent the message to her boss and when I asked my god shall I call her husband, I got no, otherwise her words to her bloody friend would have come true. (How dare you said these words to him that “She is trying to spoil my life and dream” (Hey ideally I have to curse you that  everything is going to be only in dream for making my life as dream, till today I was praying for you, so I can’t but from tomorrow I will neither keep you or your family in my prayers)

A cute truth about the shit is, “Shit will always be a shit, and it can’t become sandal even if it lives with sandal forever. Even sandal can’t stop the smell of shit. Sandal smell also will disappear as the smell of the shit is horrible and sandal will lose its smell” It is better to throw the shit and move as sandal instead of keeping the shit and trying to make it sandal.

Sandal will smell as sandal only when it is rubbed with sandal and when it is rubbed with shit, only the smell of shit will come out.

Those who know me very well know what I am and who the shit is as well. They know what happened to me because of taking this shit with me. When you take shit with you while doing good thing, even the good will look like bad only. So don’t carry the shit when you are taking sandal with you. Only two shits can live together and smell alike.  Birds of the same feather flies  together and I can fly only with Sandal not with Shit… 

People whom I met in the last 6 months


I don’t know how to start to write about you because I used to write more as soon as I see them or when I get any impact from them. Somewhat the lessons learnt from my past bitter experience didn’t allow me to write about any of the people whom I come across.Oh what a sweet girl and the way I started my communication with her was totally a different. Anything which starts with a fight or kind of arguments will last forever with me. In that feeling I am writing about this cute star of my life.

I met this sweet girl in the hospital where I got admitted for my treatment. She used to give medicines for me. My day will start and end with this female only. She will be the one who will give the early morning medicine and bed time medicines. On first day, I didn’t speak much because I was not comfortable in the hospital. I went to the hospital on the same day of landing from UAE and spent only half day with my family. Already I was missing my friends and the precious feeling of my life. I was not interested to get treated also. I thought I will go back to UAE without doing the treatment. But no other option as I have to work for few more years. I got admitted in the afternoon only.

On the next day, early in the morning, this Vandana, knocked my room with a small cup of medicine and she said (Kudichiko – a tamil mixed mallu kind of slang) drink it and she left. I took the medicine but I was not happy with her attitude. After sometime she came again to give the medicines after breakfast. I said I don’t want to have medicines from you. She asked me, why? I am a patient here and I have to get the medicines with a smile, if you give like this, it will not work for me. If you can give with a smile, then give it with your hand otherwise I will not take it.

Above all when you are doing your work, you have to feel happy about it and when you do your work happily, it will help the patients as well. You are into service industry, you should have your face with a smile.. I thought she will not take my words, but to my surprise, she came with a beautiful smile before lunch medicine and asked me is it ok , I smiled at her and said, now this medicines will work for me. Good keep it up and it is not only for me, you have to give the medicines in the same way for all the medicines. Just be careful with guys… :), not to give with smiles is fine. But don’t show hard face.

From that time on wards  I love to take medicines only from her hand. She will say it will be too bitter taste, but I used to drink like a cup of tea and she will ask how you are drinking this medicine like a tea? I used to tell her when you are giving with a smile and I have to take it as like a tea, then only it will work my dear. It is not only how you give, I have to take it happily.

Within short time, this girl started pouring love and I don’t know how she developed such a strong bond with me. Even before I show my love and care for her, she started pouring her love like anything.  She will come purposely to see me and will chit-chat for two minutes and how many two minutes she would have taken for me, I don’t know. Already I was hurt by someone, so I was little cautious and I told her that I don’t want any one close to my heart and the reason also as I got hurt by someone already and I am unable to divert myself to anyone or anything. She used to say, you consider me as her, why you want to hurt yourself.

I am here for you, god has given you as special gift to the world and enjoy your time with me. Of course she was so sweet, whatever I missed with my smile, and she used to bring the lost smiles of mine with her way, but still I didn’t show her the way she used to and I didn’t give that much trust also with her. I used to tell her you are like my kid only but you will be second only, the first one who gave the pain.

The way she has shared all her personal stories, no one will share it to a stranger and she was so confident that she will not lose me by sharing those silly part of her.  It is not easy for a girl who is just 19 years to share all the events of her life to a stranger. The way she was saying about me to her parents and the way her parents used to ask about me, how is your (anu) doing? When she used to say, my dad asked how is your as you…. the way she used to feel proud, I felt like that I am doing a sin by looking at the closed doors.

Oh god, why you want to give this much pain, am sharing some beautiful moments and why should i hear the song Chandaniya lori lori from Rowdy Rathore, one of the most beautiful song but painful for me to hear this… Vandhu doesn’t like this song because I used to think about the closed doors.

She started sharing all her personal details, friends and all the details about her. She made all her close friends to add me in Facebook. I don’t know how those people were thinking about me, but they all sent the request. Within so short time, she made all her friends to know about me, her parents also knows about me and started feeling me so deep in her heart. There is a saying that god will close one door and open the other door, and we often see the closed-door only. Of course I was not like that I have seen this open door but was longing to see that closed-door to open. That was the foolishness.

I can have many doors for house as it is very big to hold all these lovely kids. She will come and see my face every one hour and she will ask if my face was dull what happened, endha feelings?  Don’t think about anyone and anything. Am there na, why you want to think about others. When you leave this place think about the other one who is giving you this much pain, till the time you are here, be smiling and make others smile. I will not say forget her for giving my gyan back to me to have a smile in my face and the way she cared for my smiles is awesome and by 19 years old girl who has got that much maturity to make others smile and to feel for the good one and bad one is one of the best in everyone’s life…. she made me to feel the difference between the good and bad in such a way with her attitude, behavior, character. she is straight forward she used to say whatever she feels but everything with respect. Don’t think about her and make your life hell. will continue…………

Family Value – Respect

Family Values Continues….

Respect – what you know about respect is 0%, It is none of my business to worry about it, but I lost my self-respect too because of you in front of everyone.

This is a bit more difficult to explain it for you because you never know what respect is and you failed to learn from all your elders, schools, colleagues, professional environment… I really feel pity that no one never ever tried to teach what it is to you.

There is a saying in Tamil,  Kadamaiyai Sei, Palanai Edhirpaarkkadhea” “Do your duty and don’t worry about results”. This will not bring in benefit in you, but it will bring to someone else. I hope you know this is from “Gita”. Arjuna was not interested to start the fight with his own blood and countrymen. Krishna tells him “Fighting is your duty. Do it. Don’t worry about the result”. If you die you would go to heaven. Or if you win, you would be giving the enemy an opportunity to go to heaven. In any case it is good.”

 For my family, to respect each other is to take feelings, thoughts, needs, and preferences, living for each other, leaving them when need to be alone and discussing with everyone when making any decisions. It also means acknowledging and valuing everyone’s thoughts, feelings and contributions to the family as a whole.

Respect is an important family value will extends out of the home to school, work or other social settings.

Respect is indeed not given but earned and there is a very fine line between respect and fear. The only way to earn and keep someone’s respect is to first show them respect yourself.

Respect to your Parents/Elders:

If you have respect to parents, you will not do anything against them. If they don’t like you to speak to someone, you will not call when they are not around. Whatever you do will impact your parents and elders in your family. So far whatever you have done, it has a huge impact. Is it what you feel as respect or love for your family?

Respect to your Husband

I don’t need to discuss more about this, because if you have little respect for him, then you would have handled all your problems differently. You will not say that I don’t even share with my SH, he will pressurize and know it from me, that shows how much you have respect for everyone.

Respect to your Boss

I don’t want to say anything about you in this regard it might give some negative impact about you. I know you have not done any mistake, but I can’t correct everyone’s image in my content. Let me say about my experience then you can correlate it with your experiences. I used to go with my boss in his car every day, when our office was in a different place.

It is normal practice, every day he will pick me from my guest house and he will drop me back. My boss used to say that “I am responsible for your safety and I am answerable to your parents when you are away from them. Tell your parents that you have a father here to take care of you and let them not feel worried about you”.

One day he was busy in a meeting from 4PM and I waited till 6 PM and as I was not aware where he is, I traveled with another technical consultant who used to travel by public transport. Before leaving the office I sent him a mail/sms (I don’t remember).

He called me in 30 minutes and asked me how dare you are to travel alone? I told him I am not going alone, am with so and so and now the time is just 6.30PM. Immediately he said is he a super hero, do you know this city very well? If two guys come and beat this guy what will happen to you? You can be brave enough but you can’t take this kind of risk.

Stay wherever you are and I will come and pick you up. Why I am sharing this incident is, I am not a cheap  person to talk about someone unwantedly. Especially I don’t like to talk bad about females and that too for travelling with their boss.

One day I was supposed to attend a seminar on CRM, as I report to my boss, I didn’t inform any colleagues that I will not be coming to office. Normally I don’t maintain any cordial relationship with colleagues. After the seminar, I entered the office with my boss.

One of my colleagues gave a vulgar comment and I gave him the required nose cut on the spot. After that I told my boss, what happened. My boss smiled and asked me, do you worry about his comments? I said yes I do because it is not only impacting my character, it impacts yours as well, I can’t allow someone to spoil your reputation and I can’t be the reason to spoil it. This is called as respect.

The main reason for me to share this story, I remember that I shared this with you many times, but the essence of it never entered your head or heart. Otherwise you would not have got such a bad name. The main reason for me to return the gifts in anger was this one.  You don’t have any respect for your boss too. If you are sincere, then you will not do something to harm his reputation. How you degraded him in front of others?

You will not be worried but am sure that he will be worried to know that his reputation is getting spoiled. It is not easy to create reputation for others, but it is easy to spoil it sweet heart.


Respect for friends:

First you don’t know the meaning of friendship, and then only I can talk about respect for friends. But I told you many times, don’t spoil my reputation with my friends. What is the need for you to do all nonsense?   You made everyone to feel that you are rotten egg by your behaviors, attitude, and irresponsible activities.

The way you spoiled my reputation, huh, do you think that I don’t have guts to speak to your boss? I will do anything and everything to safe guard your reputation. But I didn’t do it because of the respect what I had for you. It will take only one minute for me to speak to him, but it will take all your life to clear that image. Literally when I came during first week of January’13, I wanted to talk to him not about you, but the way his name is getting damaged.

We have to be very careful in giving saving our reputation with others as well as protecting others image. Knowingly or unknowingly you have done all the damages for everyone around you.

I told you in the beginning itself, that I have high opinion about him, even you will do some nasty things, but he will not do anything like that. You have done the worst of all in your life.

After all this, if you say you have some family values or you know what respect is, please explain what kind of respect and who has seen your respect? Let me understand your value of respect from you. May be I failed to learn that way of respect in my life. I love to learn even from youngsters.

Family Value-3 Thanks giving

Family values continues…

Thanks Giving…. This is one of the biggest things that the parents have to teach the kids.

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. 

It is not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. 

One of the best ways to show your real feelings even to the strangers is thanks giving. I don’t know how I learned it, but I learned it at very young age. Thanks will make a stone heart also to smile. Of course it is applicable only human and not applicable to wild animals. Thanks is the beautiful flower that blossom springs from the soul.

I remember that I used to travel in cycle rickshaws from the main bus terminus to my house. A person will pedal the cycle rickshaw, two to four people can travel from one place to another place. It still exists in our area but with some modern amenities, now the person is not required to pedal, they used to fix it with some motors in it.

We used to pay the money, but I used to say thanks to that guy every day. One day I traveled alone and he asked me what is there to say thanks, you are paying and I am dropping you in the place where you want to go.

Money is for the work what you have done, thanks is for the way you dropped me safely. When I say thanks, I see the smile in your face. That smile means a lot to me. After that I used to say thanks to almost all the drivers and I have seen lot of smiles in this way. It helps me to get closer to them and it helps me to give an impact in them that I have respect for their work. It means that I give respect to them as a human. It is a quality of humanitarian.

I follow the same with almost with all and mostly with the labors and when I think this now, from where I got it, I feel that it is from my parents only. They used to do it, but they didn’t teach me. This was not taught by someone and if at all I have to say that I learned it from one of my teacher under whom I studied my class 5 and 6.

She didn’t teach that we used to say thanks to everyone. I learned it from her by seeing her way of approach to the office boys and the non-teaching staffs in the school. When a guy brings the attendance book, she will say thanks and every day I have seen her saying thanks to one or the other. It is inclusive of the students who used to bring the chock pieces. (Usha Rajaraman was her name) I am sure that I learned to say thanks 28 years back.

Most of my friends used to say that I am a good observer and many like me for the way I used to observe the things happening around me without socializing with them. Most of my teenage friends know how sharp I was in getting the information without talking to them.

I used to observe both the good and bad from others and I take the good and try to correct the bad of them. Thanks giving I observed from that teacher and till today I follow it whole heartedly. Especially when someone does something even with little effort I will say my sincere thanks to them. This applied to the office boy from whom we get a cup of tea or my friends helping me with their support.

Why I took this as a subject is when you like someone, the good things of them will have some impact in you. People, who are very close to my heart or those who feel me as close to their heart, will have the impact of my love and care in them. I am really surprised to see you because the way you were with me, I am sure there was something in me would have made you to become so close.

In anger I can say that you tried to be so close with me or cheated me with a motivation but am sure that something impressed you. Why I am surprised is I really feel bad that not even 1% of my goodness has touched you and what made you to feel so impressed with me? How can you be so cruel in your life? Or how I was so careless in identifying your real color? I am answerable to god for the talent what he has given me, I have to understand whether I move with human or with animal and I have to treat the human like a human and an animal like an animal only.

Even now I say thanks to you because for giving this much pain, because I was praying to god to give me the serenity and I want to get rid of the worldly life. Now no one can come closer to my heart as I am so scared to allow someone to it. But my basic and inborn character of showing love to human will not change, but this will be in a different way. I learned to know that there are people without humanitarian also.

Mostly I have to thank you very much. I don’t have any words to say my sincere thanks to my wonderful Sweet Adorable Darling. Only because of you my life has become full and only because of you I have become zero.

When people used to ask me, you are missing something as a woman, I used to tell them, yes, you are right that I missed, I am missing it or I will be missing it. It is your perspective and in your eyes I miss it but as a woman, I can love all around me as like a mother. It is a great blessing and those who have felt it has shared it with me and I don’t need to share it only with my own blood. I don’t live for the worldly sake, but I live my life for the world sake.

The time I was about to post one of my colleague who is younger to me by 12 years, I scolded him and said sorry for scolding you. Immediately he replied saying that you can scold me, you are like my sister or mother. So I don’t need to go and search people and people are around me to give that feeling and comfort. You are the only one who will not love/like the people for what they are and who want them only for your time without making them understand what you are.

I heard it from so many people  used to tell me that  you are doing like a mother, sister etc., but I never felt the motherhood with any of them. It is really unfortunate for me, because they would have felt so happy at least if I would have made them happy by acknowledging their feelings. I don’t know whether it is my mistake to feel that special feeling with you or god’s mistake in creating you like this wild creature.

We often take for granted that very things that most deserve our gratitude.

Normally people will thank to god, for giving them a new day, but I thank god before going to bed for giving me a wonderful day as today and say that I don’t know whether tomorrow is my day or not because only when I wake up, I will know that day is mine or not, but when I go to bed, I know for sure that the day has ended.

I hope you remember that I used to say that my last message in the night I want it to be for you. Because I don’t know whether I will be able to say Good morning to you the next day or not.

Thanks to god for giving me the serenity through you. He showed me the greatest feeling what I never felt like missing in my life and I never felt also. I was happy without feeling it and I was happy when I felt it and even now am happy after throwing it out of me.

May be god showed you in my eyes and gave the greatest feeling just to feel that in my later part of life, I should not regret that I missed it during my young age. Now I say thanks to god that I am happy that I don’t have a kid. It is better not to have a kid like you.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. I tried to live by this words with you, but it is easy to practice this with human and very hard to practice with those who live like humans. There is difference between the human and like humans.

Whatever pains, I have got that is the biggest punishment from god only for whatever has happened in my life. I am very happy to take it as a lesson of my life and move ahead without giving any room for such feeling with anyone else.

Thanks giving is possible only for those who have strong memory and who take time to remember; No one can give thanks who has a very poor memory or a person like you with short-term memory loss.

Saying thanks in a way says that you give respect to the fellow-men. – Respect – will continue…..

Family values love

4th Anniversary – Love,Touch, Heal

This article is especially dedicated to the women who made my life so bright. It will look little sarcastic at this point of time, but it is really a sincere dedication because for giving the wonderful feeling of life.

Hey Its your 4th Anniversary, a happy time and am not nearby you to say Happy Anniversary my dear. I am really happy that you completed 4 years in one company because I feel that you get bored with people very soon. But at least that company has given you the pleasure to be with it. May god bless you. Last year I was not aware that this day was your anniversary, but this year you are not interested to get wishes from someone who loves you.

I started this article to post it on Women’s day but that would have been the sarcastic post. Since I remembered that anniversary is coming, I thought let me post it to wish you almost in virtual.

Hey I remember, that first days you told me that you were telling about me to your husband and he told you that “He wants to see some changes in you because of me”. Tell him that I too failed like all others. I accepted my failure to you and started to move on.


None of the contents are exaggerated or unrealistic and most of my readers/friends were feeling happy for sharing my feelings, but all were painful stories and even the pleasant memories turned up as painful stories. But these painful stories I have taken all of it as pleasant because nobody in the world can give me this much happiness and for that pleasant moment, let me take all the pains as pleasant memories.

Through stories of the real people’s lives, we explore our life transforming, healing potential of touch and through psychotherapy. When I started writing, I was in deep pain, but I came to know that the more I write I was able to feel relaxed because venting out is a kind of meditation.  

Whatever stories I have posted in my blog are excerpts of real cases and a realistic happenings or happened things in my life, emotional reactions. I can’t lie and I can’t hurt someone with lies, but I can hurt you with the truth. Always one’s pain is another’s gain and explaining my pain and the way I got hurts will hurt you. 

All of us are voyagers on a life path back to completeness. Some will try to complete their life in 20’s and some in 30’s some in 40’s and some will never try to do it. Here the complete means meaningful and not the death. Death will come only when it is destined to us.

I can think many more as my kids, but I will not be sharing that feeling with them or I will get an aversion of pain ahead of my love and care for them what you have given me. When I speak to Vandana, She used to say that don’t think that I will do like her. Her name meaning may be unique, but she is not unique, but I will show that I am not like her. I can make sure that you will not get hurt because of me.

My SAD You gave me the comfort to share it with you and I have to dedicate this for you. Whatever pain I have got from you is all because of the comfort what you have given to me. I have to go through this pain all through my life for accepting and sharing my love to you as my kid.

Love Me, Touched Me, Healed Me

This topic is nothing much great but I am going to share on this because it is not easy to do all these three by one.

Love happens with someone, touching happens with the other and the healing happens with the divine touch of god only through someone.

I mean to say that we love someone, get hurt by them and touched by someone else to get cured from it, through the healing power of god.

Love me for who I am is the normal saying but I love you for who you are and not for what I got an heavy punishment from god to you, but sometimes even if you love someone with their bad attitudes, they will not understand your love. I accepted the way you are and you failed to accept me in the way I am.

Love is the greatest and heavenly feeling if it is shared with right people. Love is patient, kind, unyielding, enduring, committed, dedicated and unwavering. Love doesn’t give pain and it overcomes all obstacles.  But what most of us have called love, our human concepts and humanity is to love and care for others, ownership – feeling the other person like us.

If you are selfish and what is in it for me attitude or with self-consciousness, insecurity, doubt and emotional upheaval.  True love, unconditional love, a higher state of love, is limitless, boundless, and the maximum creative power of the universe but is not possible with one person. Everything can be given only if the other person accepts it without any self-feeling.

Love – you are the one who can say that I will accept it when I feel like accepting. I am not selling it, so as you can buy it from me.

Touched me – Those who touched my soul for being the way I am and I was given a chance by someone whom I love to understand that I am being touched by so many wonderful men and women’s in my life. I hope my friends knows the difference between the love and lust.

Lust is not Love Baby

Lust is not Love Baby

This touching has nothing to explore our own bodily sensations, needs or lust, cravings, desires and pleasures.  This touch is the touching the soul and not the external/ physical touch. It is the touch by the feelings and the way you touched with Love. I can’t feel it so much without your touch. Even now I can’t accept that it is acting by you, but if it is real, it will not vanish. How could you act so much perfectly to make me feel that it is real?

Our personal thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, memories and dreams shared with me in a different ways to give the healing and loving touch, the most profoundly sensational touch, touch that you all brought to have the smiles in my life and most importantly not ignoring me for the way I was feeling, caring or showing my love for the other woman.

Most of the time I focused on my problems thinking the possible causes, recalling in detail the many ways which gave me that I have done all the mistakes and I felt that I was wrong. 

I was not able to heal myself was not ready to focus towards healing and letting her go, and moving toward creating what I truly desire. I felt like I have only one hold in my life and letting her go will make me to feel am dead.

Yes it is true to great extent, but before her entry I was living my life and I have not spent so much time with her in person. It was only virtual and even now I can have her in virtual. This time I don’t need to communicate with her virtually but still I can communicate with her as she dwells in me and she is not ready to go out of me.

The butterflies were not flying in my heart but I felt it in each cell of body when it is for you. The love has a special touch and the way you gave it for me, it is really touching.

Main reason is I was in a different dimension and the way I got betrayed was totally affecting my ambition, career, life fulfillment and because of a small change in my personal life, it has given a very bad impact in all the hemispheres of my life. Since I gave her the name as my smile, when I smile a drop of tear touches me. This is how you have touched me.

Totally devastated from all my dreams, goals, achievements and whatever I have gained I lost everything because of one betrayal.

My dear friends, all of you will be reminded, over and over, to bring that touch back in my own life, so that I can fully feel the healing and loving touch with all your support and with others friends as well.


Healing happens to us the moment we are ready to get healed only. Healing happens in every moment, in every cell and organ of our body.  Healing in betrayal by your love takes long time, it is very difficult to get healed with others love. We know that it is not destined and we should not cry for the one who entered our life and left without any reason. If someone leaves with reason, it is little easy to take the pain but someone leaving without a reason or without even letting you know the reason is kind of living in a hell. It is stupidity of heart and mind longs and feels for the love which made us to feel our life as miserable.

Thanks for those who shared their Love, touch and for being with me and those who touched with love, I feel that I am healing. I will but the scar will stay till my death.

Thank you very much for the wonderful hearts who supported me in the process of healing, I discovered the truth, to face my inner spirit, and I begin to know my connection is not limited to one soul.

I know for sure that I missed so many golden opportunities to be a healer to others in their problem as I was dwelling in my sorrow. It is nothing like someone died leaving me all alone and I can’t even feel that much pain even if someone I love the most dies also, because I know that is the fact of our life. Birth and death are not in our control, other than the birth and death everything is in our control.

What we believe about healing, how we have healed our self and others, I have not given the chance for many people to make me heal because I know for sure that I will get lost with them again and I don’t want to create any more bonds with anyone. I was thinking too much on healing in different forms with smoke, with alcohols, our intimate relationships, our sexuality… but none of it would have worked…

I know for sure all the above will give me some relaxations but it is not the permanent cure for my sickness, because the sickness is not in body, it is in my heart and mind. Both don’t need any of those. I just need to give the time to heal myself.

Still for those who were behind me in my healing process, I thank you all for the beautiful love, touch and healing therapy from you all.

Holy Prophet Muhammad al Mustafā (S.A.W.W) said:

“Three things ruin man and three things save him. The three things that ruin man are stinginess, following selfish desires and conceit. The three things that save man are fearing Allah (s.w.t) in public and in private, moderation at times of affluence and poverty, and being just at times of anger and contentment.”

[Reference: Mishkat ul-Anwar, Sec 8, Chp 4, Hadees 1826]

This is common in all the religion and I wish someone to follow it whole heartily and pray sincerely to the almighty to give that serenity to you that when you bow down, let it be with a sincere heart and true love and honesty in your mind. May peace be with you all through your life. Amen