My Best Friend – Letter

First let me thank you for sending such a nice mail. I really appreciate the way you have drafted it. It was so awesome. Unknowingly you would have been a reason for my demise. The way it was written, I was totally collapsed, I lost all my values with that mail and I lost my respect at work because of your mail. It was a harsh mail when I read it for the first time. I was not able to concentrate on anything, because I got it from you. If I would have got it from that bitch my response would have been different.

I was shocked to receive such an email from you my dear, I feel that you also don’t know what is love? I just want to say you that you weep for your mother even after one year of her death and you should not say that love is more or over love. What kind of love is yours? Is it over love? No it is just love, for few it might look like over love. It will not happen with all. 

After reading it for 5 times, I felt that how nicely she shared her feelings. That is love my dear. I was feeling that she has the guts to say what she felt unlike the other female who was keeping it in her heart and sharing it with others about me.

Just for an example, I am taking a dog. We have so many street dogs, do you think we will go and hug all the dogs??? We will hug only the pet dog or our favorite dog only. There are so many in the world, we will not love all of them equally. When some other street dog comes near our dog we will hit the street dog. It is not because of the hatred of the street dog, it is because of the love for our pet dog.

Love will be shared based on the person to person only. I can’t love you like her because the way she has shown her fake love to me in such a way that it is true and I trusted her love as real and true and the way it has gone deep inside me, I have to die every day to kill that love for her. I feel ashamed to say this, but that is the fact. Now I am so scared to live my life and each day goes like a year for me. My love for her kills me and my hate for her will make me to kill her. I am in between my love and hate for her. If at all as a friend if you want to do something good, pray that I should not see her in my life time.

In order to experience everlasting love in life first we need to figure out what is missing in our life and then fill in the gaps. I know very well that people fall in and out of love because they expect their lovers to be everything to them and do everything for them. Am I showing it to DD? I don’t because I know what is she and where I have to keep her?

Is it the mistake of the other or the mistake of myself, because the time what I have spent for her is highly valuable time for me leaving all my priorities is not for time-pass and I don’t need her for my time pass. Neither I need her nor SH for time pass because I don’t have time to waste, all my time are golden and I spend it so beautifully even though am alone, I never felt alone because I know how to make myself happy without depending on others.

If she wanted time pass friendship, she will get many in the world as she was doing with one more friend of mine. A cheap local third grade people are available only to chat with women and these kinds of people are only for those third rated time pass people.

As you used to say I have great talents to pass the time without spending my time and precious feelings with someone. God has given the gift of love, knowledge, intelligence and to be happy when I am alone and to make others happy and smile from heart.

Moreover I am not like the normal stupid women who dwell in dreams, I make the dreams to come true. I dream only one thing which I made myself that it can’t come true in my life.

I have priorities set in my life, Monday I have to read something to ponder, Tuesday is time for me to listen my favorite singer songs, Wednesday I read about spirituals, Thursday’s are meant for special prayers and Friday’s full day rest and Saturday’s are romantic and Sunday fun-filled with family. Most of the days I plan well before as I don’t need to think that how to spend this day?

When I start a day I will not feel that how I am going to end this day because I start with an objective. My day will make at least two people to smile. I don’t depend on others to make me smile. From morning till late night, I will have busy schedules and I will have so many people around me waiting to listen to me and to hear from me.

Without anyone in my life, I can be happy. Even without internet, TV’s I used to spend my days happily without coming out of the room. Without food, only with water I will spend days with books and my laptop. So no day is bad day and I never regret for being single and I am proud to be single.

I really don’t understand the word single as well, because I have a lovely family behind me to support me in all I do. My mother, sisters, kids and a lovely second level and third level relatives are there. Everyone knows me very well and the way I am. Above all my family, I have a big circle of friends who are always there with me in all my ups and downs.

In my very big circle of friendship, I don’t have any regrets at all because I don’t make them to spend their time for me. I spend my time with the way they need it. When we do that, we will not have any misunderstanding. There is no expectations and I don’t need to cry for anyone. Only she created all the expectations by pinging from morning till night.

You can take yourself as an example. Do I need to worry or to feel something wrong to say directly on your face? When I call you for a dinner or when you call me, what we say, if you are comfortable, then we will go. Hey in any relationship choice is made by the two people not by one person.

If you know how to keep up a relationship, then you can fall in any kind of love. If you don’t please don’t spoil another’s life. For me I  was so depressed or felt so bad because of the loneliness created by that fool of an ass.

I never started any kind of relationship or friendship with her, she was the one who used to say good morning till good night. She was not feeling that time that am not her boyfriend na? what all nonsense she has shared with you?

During first few months she was very happy to start the conversations, to keep updated every now and then was it okay for her?

In spite of my busy schedule, I have spent my precious time with her and for which she has given the bad treatment. I don’t need to curse her god will handle her in all the possible ways because I trust in god.

It is really easy to start any relationship my dear friend, but it is very difficult to support it. She was the one who made me to start my days with good morning and good nights. Neither she was my gal friend nor was I her boyfriend. What is the need for her to say it? It becomes problematic only when the other person fails to meet all her regular activities.

Even after 3 days she will not answer and how do you want me to handle? After 3 days, if I ping she will say you didn’t ping, so I didn’t ping you. If I ping next day, she will not respond. I think she needs a treatment. Because it doesn’t look like a normal person. May be she is single and want someone in her life to spend her time. She is single means after marriage she is single and she is not able to spend her time with her husband, maybe that’s why she wants more and more people around her. May be she thought that I will not come back to UAE and decided to move out and started new friendship with others. That is also a passing cloud friendship for her and she will talk with all men and women in same way as she was doing it with me.

As I told you, with lot of people around me, I have not spend even 20 dhirams for my mobile phones. I never used to call anyone and mobile phones are only for my personal use. Personal- it means only with my family. I don’t use it with anyone and I do worry about a lot to spend on mobile because I don’t like it. Even my friends from India, they used to call me and I don’t have the habit of calling from my mobile. If I am in my room, then I will use the internet to communicate with all of them, it includes my mother as well. She will not allow me to talk over phone saying that you are earning by staying away from us, please come in online.

I have a dream of achieving everlasting love and I create my own life crowned by hobbies, interests and beneficial passions. This makes you a full lover when you enjoy a complete, interesting life on your own. Create a world of your own. And to my list I added forgiveness. It is always healthy to forgive while you can, disappointments and sadness is a part of life. That was the biggest mistake of my life with her. If I would have avoided her with the first instinct, I would have been a better person now instead of feeling bad about sharing my love with a pig.

Some stupid’s will play with our feelings and we should not entertain those stupid’s. This is where I failed to understand that this is part of passing cloud. I know she is stupid, but I didnt feel that this stupid is playing with my feelings. I didn’t realize that this is a rail sneham. We will meet so many when we travel in a long Train journey. They will be caring for us, when we get down for a tea in a station, they will be worried whether we will get into the train or not, it is may be or may not be out of love. We can’t consider these people as our life-long friends. When we leave the station, we will say a bye and that’s it the friendship comes to an end there.

I guess I have some as friends from this kind of train journey as well. I have some as unknown people, I know them only through my emails.

I can’t forgive her for whatever she has done in my life. I can forgive her for playing with my love but not with my professional life and for playing with my friends and their family. Do you think it is difficult for me to throw this bitch after knowing her real color? When I can avoid talking to my own father who is staying in the same house for years together, it is not a difficult for me to do anything.

Some people find it hard to forgive their partners especially if they happened to catch them cheating on them. The way I was being cheated, I don’t think anyone can forgive her for the way she played with me. But I forgive her for all her mistakes. I can’t forgive her for sharing it with her boss and the way she shared it with you or with another B*****d. What is the need? whatever it is she has to communicate it to me. There is no need for her to talk about me with anyone.

I am of a person who gives personal relationship counseling to my family and friends and she made me to feel that I have to consult some psychiatrist. The way I lost my respect in my family, I can’t forgive her for giving me that pain.

To find a smooth sail in your love life you have to learn to forgive and move on with a clean slate. Accept changes when they arrive instead of fighting the reality. I have done it to the core with her feeling that she is playing, she is doing it unknowingly and even when she said I have done it to get more love from you, I asked her did I disappoint you? When we hear someone is doing something knowing that it will hurt us, even then I asked her the above question even though I was hurt very badly because she did it purposely.

In life change is inevitable. At one time you will be loved, dumped, married, you will have children, become sick and die. You should acknowledge the happenings in life and move through them strongly. No matter how settled you might be it is good to know that things can change in an instant.

Always accept the unexpected. Always find happiness in what you have and be grateful to own what you have. It is a great secret to everlasting love.

Despite the greatest fear and uncertainties of the unknown, when the inevitable things happen you will look back on the good old times and wish that you had been more grateful when things were more colorful.

To enjoy your love life you should give thanks every moment and learn to appreciate the small problems and to forgive the one who hurt us. We experience all this because it is unknown to us they can get worse and sometime probably it will.

To experience how it feels to have everlasting love, we have to create time for each other. Many people who are unhappy keep on postponing time to be together. As busy people get caught up in the many and demanding daily activities and forget to get time to live for today. Neither it was destined to be everlasting nor it was true from her. I failed to understand that her real color during the initial days and for which I am suffering and I will have this pain of hurt till I die. If I do some harm to her, then I can live peacefully, but doing harm to her is like killing myself. 

It will happen to me and you or with everyone. There will always be more laundry, more house chores and more errands to be carried out. To live life to the fullest we have to stop at some point and take time for ourselves and for each other too. There are many duties waiting for us and not .

The precious moments we count in life are achieved by creating time for others against the much pressure of work, busy schedules and with heavy heart, painful situations, with lot of tears and cries. It is not easy to create such short and fleeting moment’s every-day to enjoy everlasting love. It will not happen with everyone also. I did it but she made everything to feel like I have been in garbage. I am feeling that I spent my one year of time with a pig in drainage.

Today is the only gift we have in life and I live like there is no tomorrow. But she made all my tomorrow’s so bad and fearing what will happen tomorrow? Fear of life was given by her and she has to face the punishment from god for giving it to me. My sincere prayers to god is I should not punish her and you do it. I have shown my love and for that I have to punish myself. I am doing it, my love is getting killed inside me. 

8 thoughts on “My Best Friend – Letter

  1. I totally agree with this words and i like these words too…

    Always accept the unexpected. Always find happiness in what you have and be grateful to own what you have. It is a great secret to everlasting love. if mindset is like that then there is no problem at all. ”

    but normally it will not happen all the times , meaning accepting the unexpected , we got caught up in loop and we keep thinking the past and we keep pouring the oil for the fire. one day it will blast that should not happen for you. stop pouring the oil and stop thinking.

    Lot more things you have to do and lot more waiting for you to shower the love.

    after reading all d blogs i can understand almost one year you have gone through so much problems and so much pains and you got cheated too …

    GOD is there to takecare of you and there are so many loving hearts too. you have to live for them.

    • I am really scared to do anything and to love people as well.
      I have not seen this kind of person in my life.
      When it is by a man, I can feel that it is misunderstandings can come and ego’s, jealous and envy comes easily.
      Especially with the kind of feeling what I have shown is known to the other person and in spite of that she has done this much harm to me, whcih I am unable to take it or digest it.

      Anyway it is part of life, I have to learn from my mistakes that water is always water and it can’t become like a blood.

      I gave the importance of blood relation to her is my mistake and it is dirty water….. but mixed in my blood that’s why sufferings..

      To purify my blood, I need to get purified but I dont know how to do it???

      • dear friend,
        some times it happens once we got hurt, we will afraid to do the same. but for that you cant avoid the people who are waiting for your love.
        Remove the thoughts and you will be releived from all the impacts. you need lot of focus to do that. ! ignore it !!

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  3. Sisterku fear of life a? I can’t believe this. Fear to love?? No way sister,now only you are showing more love to everyone

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