Archive | February 2013

கழுதைக்கு தெரியுமா கற்பூர ! ! !

வார்த்தைகள் பேசிட

நினைத்திடும் வேளையில்

விரல்களால் பேசிட நான்

உந்தன் காதலன் அல்ல

வார்த்தைகள் பேசிட

நினைத்திடும் வேளையில்

விழிகளில் பேசிட கண்ணே

நான்

உந்தன் காதலியும் அல்ல

வார்த்தைகள் பேசிட

நினைத்திடும் வேளையில்

கைகளால் பேசிட

நான் உந்தன் சகோதரி அல்ல

வார்த்தைகள் பேசிட

நினைத்திடும் வேளையில்

கால்களால் பேசிட

நான் உந்தன் சகோதரன் அல்ல

வார்த்தைகள் பேசிட

நினைத்திடும் வேளையில்

உந்தன் முகத்தினில்

அடித்தார்போல சண்டையிட

உன் நட்பும் நானில்லை

அன்பே என்றும் உன்னை

இமைகளில் வைத்துக்

கண்ணுக்குள் காத்திடும்,

உன்னை எந்தன்

உலகமாக நினைத்திடும்

உந்தன் அன்னை என்று

கண்ணத்தில் அறைந்துதான்

சொல்ல வேண்டுமோ ???

அன்பிற்கும் ஆசைக்கும்

அர்த்தம் தெரியாத

அற்ப்ப பிறவியே உன்னை

என்னுள் பிறந்த

உயிராக நினைத்தது

என் தவறே ! ! !

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Motherhood

Motherhood is a divine emotion, an incomparable feeling. A mother shares the most beautiful and strongest bond with her child. It makes any female the happiest person on the earth, though there are many forms in which happiness comes to us but this one is with prodigious duty. This is a responsibility and not a burden but a sweet concern and very beautiful feeling of taking care, giving care, guiding the kid, making the kid to feel that they are in the safe hands.

BEING a mother is the most beautiful emotion in the world. I thanked you so many times for giving such a wonderful feeling. It is something that has to be felt. You have not come from my womb but so strong in providing that feeling, even now when I type this tears flow from my eyes.

These are not tears my love, these are the blood which I should have shed it. No matter how hard I try, I can never describe it in words. The bond between a mother and her child is the most lovely and strongest bond.

mother advice

I can’t make you understand what I felt for you or with you with words because it is a beautiful relationship. It is so hard for me to make someone understand it with words. Only those who have felt such kind of relationship can understand it and feel it.

My Life got changed completely when I considered you as a Kid. You know me that I have been the most fearless and confident person, someone who is always ready to take a risk but suddenly I started feeling scared and nervous about almost everything. Of course every child will make their mothers a weak personality, it is not emotionally weak, and it is a sense of responsibility and to provide the child all the happiness of the world.

I was never sure if everything I was doing is enough and I never felt was it over or is it all right. I was nervous all the time, what if I did something wrong to you or whether I am showing the right care for you or is it hurting you or are you feeling it as I feel or taking it wrongly or there were 1000 things going on in my mind.

It was not because that I considered you as my kid, because I shared what I felt with you and sharing that feeling with you has given me more responsibility to handle it carefully. By all means I don’t want to hurt you because of my feeling towards you. I became my biggest critic.

Of course I never felt happy with material things. But it is with the love from my surroundings, but the way I was feeling happiness because of you, words can’t just explain it, how it was because it is something divine. I realized that joy doesn’t come from material things only because of you my dear.

I might spend thousands of rupees to buy something for myself or for others but one smile from you made me the happiest person on the earth. There’s something divine about it. The way I got the ring from you, no one in the earth can make me so happy like that. Only I know how happy I was and I was praying to god please take my life this moment because I am so happy and I don’t want any more happiness in my life. Have you given that ring as gift to your boy-friend or with some stupid intention?

Only problem with me was I don’t want you to feel low either because of me or because of any reason. No matter how low I was feeling, one smile and your spirits will make it high again. Your smile became the best thing in my life.

With your smile I used to feel that all my worries vanished  and started to feel worrying for one thing that I should not give any hurt to you. I was so careful in showing my love and care to you especially because you are not a kid and a matured lady. May be the more I was careful, I gave the hurt to you but it was not knowingly and certainly it was unknowingly only. I don’t tell lies and I don’t care about anyone to tell the truth. To tell the lies only I have to think and remember everything, to tell the truth I don’t need to think about anyone and anything.

I never know that you will make me so stupid and not to feel that the only reason for me to hold you is to hear that you are happy and with your words I used to feel that you are happy or not and your smile will bring more happiness in my life.

The way you avoided me, if I would have considered you as a friend, I would not have given a room for you to enter into my circle of friendship because neither you deserve my friendship nor do you know what is friendship? You have never been cordial with anyone that is what I hear about you from your colleagues.

Your smile has given me inner strength inside me that I never thought I had. I know for sure that no one could give me that feeling in future because you destroyed my love and care. I felt that I have the energy and strength to look after you like a mother all your needs throughout the day.

During March-12, I went to India to find out the formalities to do the adoption, as soon as I came back Anantha asked me why not you fill the form now itself so as you will get the kid as soon as possible. Do you know what my response was, I told him that if I do it now, I will not be able to enjoy this great feeling and I will not be able to be true to both of them. Let me enjoy this feeling and let her give birth to her kid, and then I will go for it.

Even if I adopt a kid, I will not have that feeling now and I will have a fear only. Going for adoption is my 20 years dream and I have to fulfill it but now everything has become like a dream. How many sleepless nights I had with such high feeling for you and you destroyed it so cheaply with one word. Huh what kind of person you are my dear? I really feel ashamed to say that you are 26 years old woman who is feeling so much to become a mother. Do you know the difference between a mother and a boyfriend?

When I was there and asked you whether you had food or not, you never felt it differently or you wanted my friendship for something else. To support your boss officially to get information from me what we feel and think or something strange reasons?

I never had any feeling or felt like crib about not being able to give time to myself or about not being able to sleep well or to spend time with my friends, but still I loved every minute of my time spent with you and I can’t get that feeling for anything in the world.

Do you think I am lonely and I spend my time with you for time pass? I enjoy each and every minute of my life living lonely and I don’t pretend that I am happy. I have told you many times, I shared my wonderful time with you not to to hurt you or to get hurt. I have shared my time which I was supposed to spend with my family, friends, philosophers, my playing time, reading time, writing time, relaxing time… I don’t want my love and care what I have given you. Can you give back all the time what I have spent with you and because of you in pain now?

Normally mothers want to make the world a better place for their Kids. I don’t know what you know about motherhood or what you have learnt from your surroundings.

I have seen only the best mother and what all a mother can do for their kids. I have been brought up by a great mother and I have seen more motherliness from the people around me (My mom’s sister, granny, Gee)

They all used to protect me like a Kid even at this age from all the evil things. They are ready to fight against all the odds to make me happy and even now trying their best to make me happy. The way I have shown it to my cousin sister’s daughter, When I go to see the kid, even her mother-in-law will say, she is here, let her be with her daughter, we all will go. That is my love for each and every one and the respect what I have got from my second level of relatives is also so great for me.

The moment you become a mother, hope you will start respecting the motherliness and I pray for it to happen soon. I started loving my mother when I felt her sacrifices and the way she has done everything for me and I started respecting her even more after having the feeling of you as my kid.

All the things whatever she has done to me and my sisters are so huge. I used to think about this every day and I wonder how my mother has done so much sacrifice and was feeling how can I ever repay her for the sacrifices she made for me.

I used to feel that I will be doing it with my adopted kid and ideally I should have done all of it with the one who is going to be in my life and as my life. I have to show the entire love what I have experienced, learned and got from my mother and surroundings. I tried to do the same with you which was my biggest mistake.

I always say that my mom is the best mom in the world (Everyone will say that) but have I done enough for her? Will I be as good a mother as she is? I used to always tell her that mom, we don’t want to do anything more than what you have done to us. We want to give what you have given to us as a mother to our kids.

Unfortunately I didn’t give a chance for myself to have my own, but for sure the one who will come in my life will have all of it as the blessings. The one deserving will enter my life for sure.

Will I be as good a mother as she is? I think this is something every woman will ask herself when she becomes a mother. It makes you realize how much your mom loves you and what she really means to you and how much care she has taken in your growth.

It’s only then that you realize that the bond between a mother and child is the most unbreakable bond in the world. You are the only one who can break the beautiful relationship also. Of course it was my mistake that I felt such a great feeling through you.

Nobody can come between a mother and her child. I have shown it to the entire world when everyone around me and you wanted to say something against you or in favor of me to identify your real color, I have not allowed anyone to do for which I am paying the huge price.

A child becomes her mother’s universe and a mother becomes the child’s universe. May be I was wrong to think you as my world but yes it was wrong if you were not aware of it. I am lucky to have the feeling for you.

Whatever colors you have shown, may be god has given me this as a punishment for sharing my love and care with you. I would have been very happy not to hear even a single word bad about you and I would have been the happiest to die without  hearing anything bad about you. But god made me to hear everything, witness everything and made me as a reason from your mouth is more painful than the death of a kid. I am killing my self each second and feeling this as punishment from god.

Even after all your ill feelings, bad thoughts, arrogant attitude, immature character, playful behavior  I was feeling so nice about you and When I see a sweet kid in front of my eyes in the lift or on the road or in any mall, I used to feel if she has a kid like this, how it will be and a drop of tear comes out of my eyes and makes me to feel so bad with all your actions. At that point I have to curse you, but I will bring in a smile to myself and say you are a stupid, don’t think for her, think about yourself. I never got such a feeling with a small beautiful kids to think as my kids.

At last not the least, every mother would have slapped their kids, scolded their kids, cursed their kids but it is not to hurt them or to spoil them. It is all to make them in the right way. It happened with me as well. My mother has given beatings with broom sticks, whatever she gets in her hand, because I was so naughty, careless, rude and very arrogant.

I have the moral responsibility as a friend to correct him/her. I used to do it with everyone, if I feel that they are wrong. Your religion also says that don’t avoid people for their mistakes, and don’t afraid to correct them. It is your moral responsibility to inform them that what they are doing is wrong. It is their choice to take it or leave it.

I have done it on the road for one of my friend’s sister who was talking to a guy and scolded her on the road and said I will not scold next time, I will slap you on the road for doing such kind of activity. I know for sure that she has not taken it as like you and she is happily living and shown me her two kids recently when she met me in a park and said I married the same guy only see him he is there.

I considered you as my daughter and when I said those little harsh words to you to change your character is just to make you aware that you need to become lovelier so as you can make your child to feel that your heart is the place of heaven for her or him to dwell in. I was not wrong at all. Even then I asked sorry to you because it caused pain to you. You were not ready to analyze your mistake but you were keen to find out others mistakes.

How could you damage it with a silly word of saying it as a boyfriend? If I would not have shared it to you or if you are unaware of my feelings for you, then I can say that you can feel it as a crap or anything. What did I do as like a boyfriend to you? I am really annoyed with this word. Those guys around me are also friend only to me and how can you use these kind of cheap words?

Whatever it is all these are the answers for your husband’s question and if you have the guts share it and answer to my questions. I really hate someone to interfere in between my friends and you know what you are, tell them I gave them respect it is only because they are part of your life (Boss and your husband).

Let God show the great feeling of motherhood to you so as you will realize what you have done with me. This is not a curse, and it is a heartfelt wishes only… you will not know the difference between a wish and a curse also because you are a silly person with no feelings.

Thank you

Technology is not for developing my love or anger, but it is a remedy to show my feelings. I am not using the technology to show my anger but to vent out my pains and frustrations. Technology is not a friend of mine but technology has become as a friend of mine because of the pains given by the friends. I do not want to miss this occasion to say that I miss you all and it is really painful to be go with the pains. Without all your support it is not possible for me to come out of this pain, even though I have not come 100% out of it, you all are the reasons for me to live and smile. Thank you all on the special day for showing all your love in a way in which I can forget and forgive the one who has done the worst in my life.

On the day of Valentine’s day I wish one and all a Happy Valentine’s Day ! ! !

Be Careful in sharing your love… It is better to be alone than being killed by someone in the name of love.

Slide-175 Slide-172

Love is sweet poison when it is with your silence. Talk, fight and finish it off but don’t keep silence and kill it.

Valentine’s Day Special…

Dear All,

Please don’t expect something special to celebrate the Valentine’s Day as a special day. For me every day is Valentine’s Day till this year beginning special only but this date is somewhat painful day in my life. Till last year it was a beautiful day and I used to feel that all days are special day in my life and I will share my love with everyone in a special and unique way. Last year I got the special invite in my gtalk from a special person, I didn’t know at that time it was from a silly person.

From this year I guess I will not have those kind of special days in my life and I am so scared to smile at a stranger or even with the friends with whom I am associated. I learned to smile artificially, I learned to show artificial feelings and I am feeling so scared to show my real care or affection to anyone including my own blood.

It was not a lengthy friendship with her, but she made one year of my life to end as waste. From Jan-12 to Feb-13 almost 13 months, What all I have lost?? I would have spent more time with all my friends; I would have learned lot of things every day.

I am just counting the days from 14-02-2012 to till 14-02-2013, how many days I would have been so happy and in pain? How much I lost in the last one year?

Peace, Happiness, Health, Smiles, Care, Love, Affection, Friends and friendship, Money, Fame, Everything lost because of one person and the one who has made me a real zero in my life. I don’t need people to make me hero but I should not have allowed someone to make me zero.

I was talking to my mother after a long break. I was not real to anyone in the last 5 months. I am sorry friends. Those who really know me were helping me to great extent to come out of this hell of pain. My mother was telling me that, Within a short period of friendship you decided to do that much for which she is not fit, you have over-estimated her for love, friendship, faith and trust means it is your fault and I appreciate her smartness in making you to believe her to this level. I was not able to say to my mother, that it is not smartness but it is to be called as cunningest.

Leave it my child, God is great. He will not come directly to show us the way we have to follow few things and it is given by him and we have to learn the lesson. So he sends persons like her to learn about people around us. Don’t feel bad about it. Take it as a lesson and go ahead. This kind of avarice exists and they will not realize anything till they lose something precious in their life.

We are not here to curse or to hold them with our love and care. They need to be released and let them go and enjoy or suffer. Let us not suffer by holding this kind of people. It is in your destiny that she has to come and give you a lesson for life. Take it as a lesson for life not to think that you have to end your life. You were fooled by her. Yes I have to agree that. I was adamant not to feel that she acted with me. God made me to understand it by all means and she proved it through her own words.

There is a saying that “If tears of love, joy and ecstasy have not washed your cheeks, you are yet to taste life.” My people (Includes all those who knows me) knows that I am blessed and tears have touched my cheeks because of love, joy, ecstasy and also because of pains, but this pain given by her has taken away all the happiness and pains of life.

One of my friend said “Hello dear this is the 21st century, if without spending anything, if i can spoil someone and get free enjoyment, people will do anything and they will name it as Love and later we will come to know that it is Lust. Love is not life and Love is a chapter in Life and I have written all the pages of my life with love and now it is time for me to see the world without love because of the mistake of loving you.

I have to start my life from scratch and with a fear of life, I am living all my day in fear that what is it going to bring today in your name? 

Tell me do we need this stupid so called Love for others? Do we need to care for others? Do we need to pray for others? Especially praying for you is also to be considered as sin, because you will ask everyone to pray for you.

God I have only one question in my mind, why did you allow her to enter my life and made my life so miserable? Just to flirt with others she misused me? Is this called as affection or care? For this you made me to suffer so much? I would have arranged even more for her if she would have asked me that I want/need. There is a lot of difference between Love and Lust. Why you need so much cheap drama’s?

When I was typing this, only thing came to my mind was I got the instinct of writing the same content, 9 months back and I am not sure whether I discussed with her. I feel that I got a dream and today that dream has come true…..

LOVE IS PAINFUL.. Love is Pleasant even in pain when the person whom you love is worth of it. Try to find the person worth of it, if you get a person worth of it, they will not give any pain.

கடவுளுக்கு நன்றி

கடவுளே ஏன்

இத்தனை

கொடுமைக்காரானாக  நீ

மாறினாய்?

என்னை உன்

திருக்கரங்களால்

தள்ளிவிட்டு வேடிக்கைப்

பார்க்கிறாய் என்றே

எண்ணினேன், ஆனால்

மறுகரத்தினால்

அனைக்க பல

அன்புள்ளங்களை

அங்காங்கே அனுப்புகிறாய்….

நன்றி என்று ஒரு வார்த்தையில்

சொல்லாமல் என்றென்றும்

நன்றி ! !

உள்ளவளாக

இருக்கச் செய்வாயாக..

My Best Friend – Letter

First let me thank you for sending such a nice mail. I really appreciate the way you have drafted it. It was so awesome. Unknowingly you would have been a reason for my demise. The way it was written, I was totally collapsed, I lost all my values with that mail and I lost my respect at work because of your mail. It was a harsh mail when I read it for the first time. I was not able to concentrate on anything, because I got it from you. If I would have got it from that bitch my response would have been different.

I was shocked to receive such an email from you my dear, I feel that you also don’t know what is love? I just want to say you that you weep for your mother even after one year of her death and you should not say that love is more or over love. What kind of love is yours? Is it over love? No it is just love, for few it might look like over love. It will not happen with all. 

After reading it for 5 times, I felt that how nicely she shared her feelings. That is love my dear. I was feeling that she has the guts to say what she felt unlike the other female who was keeping it in her heart and sharing it with others about me.

Just for an example, I am taking a dog. We have so many street dogs, do you think we will go and hug all the dogs??? We will hug only the pet dog or our favorite dog only. There are so many in the world, we will not love all of them equally. When some other street dog comes near our dog we will hit the street dog. It is not because of the hatred of the street dog, it is because of the love for our pet dog.

Love will be shared based on the person to person only. I can’t love you like her because the way she has shown her fake love to me in such a way that it is true and I trusted her love as real and true and the way it has gone deep inside me, I have to die every day to kill that love for her. I feel ashamed to say this, but that is the fact. Now I am so scared to live my life and each day goes like a year for me. My love for her kills me and my hate for her will make me to kill her. I am in between my love and hate for her. If at all as a friend if you want to do something good, pray that I should not see her in my life time.

In order to experience everlasting love in life first we need to figure out what is missing in our life and then fill in the gaps. I know very well that people fall in and out of love because they expect their lovers to be everything to them and do everything for them. Am I showing it to DD? I don’t because I know what is she and where I have to keep her?

Is it the mistake of the other or the mistake of myself, because the time what I have spent for her is highly valuable time for me leaving all my priorities is not for time-pass and I don’t need her for my time pass. Neither I need her nor SH for time pass because I don’t have time to waste, all my time are golden and I spend it so beautifully even though am alone, I never felt alone because I know how to make myself happy without depending on others.

If she wanted time pass friendship, she will get many in the world as she was doing with one more friend of mine. A cheap local third grade people are available only to chat with women and these kinds of people are only for those third rated time pass people.

As you used to say I have great talents to pass the time without spending my time and precious feelings with someone. God has given the gift of love, knowledge, intelligence and to be happy when I am alone and to make others happy and smile from heart.

Moreover I am not like the normal stupid women who dwell in dreams, I make the dreams to come true. I dream only one thing which I made myself that it can’t come true in my life.

I have priorities set in my life, Monday I have to read something to ponder, Tuesday is time for me to listen my favorite singer songs, Wednesday I read about spirituals, Thursday’s are meant for special prayers and Friday’s full day rest and Saturday’s are romantic and Sunday fun-filled with family. Most of the days I plan well before as I don’t need to think that how to spend this day?

When I start a day I will not feel that how I am going to end this day because I start with an objective. My day will make at least two people to smile. I don’t depend on others to make me smile. From morning till late night, I will have busy schedules and I will have so many people around me waiting to listen to me and to hear from me.

Without anyone in my life, I can be happy. Even without internet, TV’s I used to spend my days happily without coming out of the room. Without food, only with water I will spend days with books and my laptop. So no day is bad day and I never regret for being single and I am proud to be single.

I really don’t understand the word single as well, because I have a lovely family behind me to support me in all I do. My mother, sisters, kids and a lovely second level and third level relatives are there. Everyone knows me very well and the way I am. Above all my family, I have a big circle of friends who are always there with me in all my ups and downs.

In my very big circle of friendship, I don’t have any regrets at all because I don’t make them to spend their time for me. I spend my time with the way they need it. When we do that, we will not have any misunderstanding. There is no expectations and I don’t need to cry for anyone. Only she created all the expectations by pinging from morning till night.

You can take yourself as an example. Do I need to worry or to feel something wrong to say directly on your face? When I call you for a dinner or when you call me, what we say, if you are comfortable, then we will go. Hey in any relationship choice is made by the two people not by one person.

If you know how to keep up a relationship, then you can fall in any kind of love. If you don’t please don’t spoil another’s life. For me I  was so depressed or felt so bad because of the loneliness created by that fool of an ass.

I never started any kind of relationship or friendship with her, she was the one who used to say good morning till good night. She was not feeling that time that am not her boyfriend na? what all nonsense she has shared with you?

During first few months she was very happy to start the conversations, to keep updated every now and then was it okay for her?

In spite of my busy schedule, I have spent my precious time with her and for which she has given the bad treatment. I don’t need to curse her god will handle her in all the possible ways because I trust in god.

It is really easy to start any relationship my dear friend, but it is very difficult to support it. She was the one who made me to start my days with good morning and good nights. Neither she was my gal friend nor was I her boyfriend. What is the need for her to say it? It becomes problematic only when the other person fails to meet all her regular activities.

Even after 3 days she will not answer and how do you want me to handle? After 3 days, if I ping she will say you didn’t ping, so I didn’t ping you. If I ping next day, she will not respond. I think she needs a treatment. Because it doesn’t look like a normal person. May be she is single and want someone in her life to spend her time. She is single means after marriage she is single and she is not able to spend her time with her husband, maybe that’s why she wants more and more people around her. May be she thought that I will not come back to UAE and decided to move out and started new friendship with others. That is also a passing cloud friendship for her and she will talk with all men and women in same way as she was doing it with me.

As I told you, with lot of people around me, I have not spend even 20 dhirams for my mobile phones. I never used to call anyone and mobile phones are only for my personal use. Personal- it means only with my family. I don’t use it with anyone and I do worry about a lot to spend on mobile because I don’t like it. Even my friends from India, they used to call me and I don’t have the habit of calling from my mobile. If I am in my room, then I will use the internet to communicate with all of them, it includes my mother as well. She will not allow me to talk over phone saying that you are earning by staying away from us, please come in online.

I have a dream of achieving everlasting love and I create my own life crowned by hobbies, interests and beneficial passions. This makes you a full lover when you enjoy a complete, interesting life on your own. Create a world of your own. And to my list I added forgiveness. It is always healthy to forgive while you can, disappointments and sadness is a part of life. That was the biggest mistake of my life with her. If I would have avoided her with the first instinct, I would have been a better person now instead of feeling bad about sharing my love with a pig.

Some stupid’s will play with our feelings and we should not entertain those stupid’s. This is where I failed to understand that this is part of passing cloud. I know she is stupid, but I didnt feel that this stupid is playing with my feelings. I didn’t realize that this is a rail sneham. We will meet so many when we travel in a long Train journey. They will be caring for us, when we get down for a tea in a station, they will be worried whether we will get into the train or not, it is may be or may not be out of love. We can’t consider these people as our life-long friends. When we leave the station, we will say a bye and that’s it the friendship comes to an end there.

I guess I have some as friends from this kind of train journey as well. I have some as unknown people, I know them only through my emails.

I can’t forgive her for whatever she has done in my life. I can forgive her for playing with my love but not with my professional life and for playing with my friends and their family. Do you think it is difficult for me to throw this bitch after knowing her real color? When I can avoid talking to my own father who is staying in the same house for years together, it is not a difficult for me to do anything.

Some people find it hard to forgive their partners especially if they happened to catch them cheating on them. The way I was being cheated, I don’t think anyone can forgive her for the way she played with me. But I forgive her for all her mistakes. I can’t forgive her for sharing it with her boss and the way she shared it with you or with another B*****d. What is the need? whatever it is she has to communicate it to me. There is no need for her to talk about me with anyone.

I am of a person who gives personal relationship counseling to my family and friends and she made me to feel that I have to consult some psychiatrist. The way I lost my respect in my family, I can’t forgive her for giving me that pain.

To find a smooth sail in your love life you have to learn to forgive and move on with a clean slate. Accept changes when they arrive instead of fighting the reality. I have done it to the core with her feeling that she is playing, she is doing it unknowingly and even when she said I have done it to get more love from you, I asked her did I disappoint you? When we hear someone is doing something knowing that it will hurt us, even then I asked her the above question even though I was hurt very badly because she did it purposely.

In life change is inevitable. At one time you will be loved, dumped, married, you will have children, become sick and die. You should acknowledge the happenings in life and move through them strongly. No matter how settled you might be it is good to know that things can change in an instant.

Always accept the unexpected. Always find happiness in what you have and be grateful to own what you have. It is a great secret to everlasting love.

Despite the greatest fear and uncertainties of the unknown, when the inevitable things happen you will look back on the good old times and wish that you had been more grateful when things were more colorful.

To enjoy your love life you should give thanks every moment and learn to appreciate the small problems and to forgive the one who hurt us. We experience all this because it is unknown to us they can get worse and sometime probably it will.

To experience how it feels to have everlasting love, we have to create time for each other. Many people who are unhappy keep on postponing time to be together. As busy people get caught up in the many and demanding daily activities and forget to get time to live for today. Neither it was destined to be everlasting nor it was true from her. I failed to understand that her real color during the initial days and for which I am suffering and I will have this pain of hurt till I die. If I do some harm to her, then I can live peacefully, but doing harm to her is like killing myself. 

It will happen to me and you or with everyone. There will always be more laundry, more house chores and more errands to be carried out. To live life to the fullest we have to stop at some point and take time for ourselves and for each other too. There are many duties waiting for us and not .

The precious moments we count in life are achieved by creating time for others against the much pressure of work, busy schedules and with heavy heart, painful situations, with lot of tears and cries. It is not easy to create such short and fleeting moment’s every-day to enjoy everlasting love. It will not happen with everyone also. I did it but she made everything to feel like I have been in garbage. I am feeling that I spent my one year of time with a pig in drainage.

Today is the only gift we have in life and I live like there is no tomorrow. But she made all my tomorrow’s so bad and fearing what will happen tomorrow? Fear of life was given by her and she has to face the punishment from god for giving it to me. My sincere prayers to god is I should not punish her and you do it. I have shown my love and for that I have to punish myself. I am doing it, my love is getting killed inside me. 

Full of Roses or Thorns

Full of Roses or Thorns

I was screaming within myself why I have to face this life and it is like hell and I am unable to pass even 1 second and pass each second is like one day for me and it is so challenging. It is really so painful to spend each and every second in pain. Why did god give me this painful life? I never felt this kind of hell in my past bitter experiences, I have taken all pain with smiles because I considered everything as lesson of life and I never felt that I am under the bed of thorns even though those were really thorns.

Now what happened to me, why did I became so soft, so weak and I started feeling. I was literally crimping about my current situation and how my life is with full of pains and started feeling that I was the happiest person and now I feel that I am the one who is feeling the worst in life and that too because of one stupid female.

Whatever I do went wrong and whatever I think also goes wrong. Whoever come and passes by me was ready to spit on my face than to help me to get up from my difficult situations. Everyone was taking advantage of my weakness and started playing with my weakness and my anger towards this female is growing like a mountain because of the way she betrayed and cheated and spoiled my name in all the phases of my life.

I know that life can’t be full of roses only but I used to feel those thorns also as a rose and with a bright smile I will move ahead. Life is always with thorns only. It is very difficult to find a person who has not seen any thorns in his bed which is full of roses. We will never find one like that. I know that life would have been monotonous if I don’t find any challenges and leading a dull and dingy life. Only by facing the challenges and overcoming them only we have to lead a fulfilling life.

I can correct it only by one way, my attitude only. Last year I wrote about attitude and the same way I thought only my attitude is killing me.  She became close to me with that article which I wrote about attitude. Anyone can be the reason to spoil my happiness, but only attitude towards the incide is going to repair it. I want to live and lead my life more happily infront of the other person.

Neither I need to show my love nor my anger to this female, just I said to myself, life will bring in more b*****s and b——s, just tell them that you don’t need them.  Even though I understood her real color, I was unable to give rest to my mind in a feeling that I may be wrong. But all her behavior and attitudes showed that I was correct in recognizing her and all characters, mischievous behavior were against the basic ethics of humanity as well as religion aspect. It will be painful for few months or few months. After few months of time, I might look back and laugh at myself and see that all my problems were like the water on the grass and it went out of our life with the rays and shine of the sun. It is not as I see like a mountain.

Life will always have challenges – I used to have a mindset that life is full of challenges for everyone. Either we will fight with the society or with the working environment or personally at home or any struggles with friends, strangers. We have to struggle it out in all the faces if we want to come out of it. When I was earning in 3 digits, I was thinking 4 digit salary will make me happy, when I started getting 4 digits salary, I thought with 5 digits salary I will be very rich and after getting 6 digits of salary also my life was the same and then I realized that it is not in what we get, but it is in how we see it.  I know I have been so happy even without single penny in my wallet and no credit cards, no money still I was so happy. Challenges will always exist in our life.

When I had a fight with a Nursery school friend, I avoided him for and I don’t think after that I had any word with him. Then I thought I will not have any more friends in life, but I got so many friends and almost all of them were very good. Because I know that I should not let anyone to enter into my life more than myself.

For me any relationship with any scratches, I can’t take it easily. It is very difficult for me to handle anyone with little pain or hard feelings with them. It is better to avoid them than to show a fake smile at them. Till the time I fight and resolve it, I can’t be natural or true to myself.

I know we can’t be so strict in any relationship or without any scratches we can’t move ahead as well. But that’s my basic character, without clearing the misunderstanding or any itches or ill feelings, I can’t be normal. I will feel that I am cheating not only myself, but also the other person which is not possible by me. I can’t expect the other person to be like me.

When I allowed someone to enter into my life for the first time, it was hurting more and after 10 years of nice relationship, when it was broken I was feeling life as terrible. I thought I will not allow any other female to be so close in my life. But within 3-4 years someone entered so closely and damaged it more than the previous time. First time, it was so intense because the time what I have spent with her was so high as it was 10 years and at least we had a reason for the breakup and patch up.

Now neither I have spent much time with her or I don’t have any reason for the breakup nor do I wish to go for a patch up. Up to me, broken relationship will always have the scar and it will always hurt, it is better to let it go, instead of holding it. Moreover those who deserve or to be considered in any relationship will not give that pain or will not break the relationship for any reason.

I sleep in a bed full of roses only but the thorns of the rose are not in the bed, it is in my brain only, because of the hurt and pain. Human psychology is to hurt the one who hurt you and I am unable to kill that bitch in reality. I am scared that knowingly I should not do any harm to that bitch.

The More challengers we face, the more successful we become – That was the secret of my success and I was trying to drown in this problem… What a stupidity of mine? The one who did the mischiveious things in my life should feel bad and die each day instead I was dying. Why sould I go down because someone cheated me?

It is true to great extent that difficulties come for a reason, for me, I know the reason also, but why always me is the question will come when we face the problems or struggles in our life. When we feel that we are being cornered or ill -treated or misbehaved or betrayed or cheated by someone then we will always feel that we are in miserable conditions. It was not easy to take it because I have given that much attachment to that person.

When we feel that our life has become so serious then we should not consider all our problems as serious. We have to take all the problems as a game only. Life always has various states of games and it varies for every individual. For each and every person overcoming each challenge, she becomes mentally ready for the next one and in between life gives her greater gifts or pains for overcoming those challenges. Normally we go to another level by extending our comfort level a little more and deep so as to test whether we can overcome this or not.

Every challenge is an opportunity. From every challenge a person give the following opportunities, personal development and a lesson for the life time, and other one financial success.

When you move on with the challenges, you have to think that the direction of the challenge leads you towards the success of learning a lesson or to the development of your personality or it should take you to the growth of accumulating your wealth. So it’s a real challenge to spot these opportunities and to cash on them thus leading to personal and material development of one self.

Most of the times, time will teach you what you have to do and the best way is to recognize an opportunity in adversity is to get guidance from the learned personality or those who have overcome similar problems or with your own mentor and learn from the people who have been through your path. They are your best teachers. It is not easy for each and every-one to get time to read books, to listen to audio tapes from personal development experts can go a long way in helping you.

The important part of learning in life is to put whatever one has learnt into action. Without action all the lessons learned is of no use and life has no meaning. So if you want to benefit with your life mentally as well as financially start from today to put into action whatever good or bad things learnt from life before your time ends.

You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s Junk…