Love is said to be unconditional but unfortunately most of the women in the world doesn’t know what it is? A woman will never know what is to love unconditionally, until they have given birth to a child. “There is no greater love than that between a mother and her child”, time and time again we have heard that the love between a mother and child is greatest of all the love.
Even I have no doubts whether it is true or not. However, I feel that it is unfair to disregard or not acknowledge those individuals who are not mothers, but instead play a vital or significant role in the child-care or upbringing of a child or showing the love to a kid which was not delivered by her.
It is true that from conception both a physical and an emotional bond are created between mother and child. Physically, through the attachment of the umbilical cord from the child to the mother, and emotionally feeling that child growing inside of her, a mother begins to form a sensitive and emotional bond, by thinking and talking to her baby.
At birth this emotional bond is even greater, as the woman sees and holds her baby in her arms for the first time. At this point she makes promises to protect and love her child forever. It is the single most gratifying experience that a woman will go through.
Society has created a perception that because the mother is the one that brings her child into the world and experiences all that she goes through being pregnant, there is nobody that can love or form a bond with that child as she can. Yes there is a bond between a mother and her child and there is no dispute with regard to this. However, there are many people who play an active role in a child’s life as well.
What about the dad? Doesn’t he play an important role in a child’s upbringing too? Don’t you think there is a bond and love exists between father and child? What about the grannies, grand pa’s? In Indian culture, the second daughter gets two mothers and the first daughter gets an additional mother if the mother has got a younger sister.
What about those caretakers who are employed to take care of a child because of the parents’ professions or simply because they can afford to hire a nanny to take on that responsibility while the parents think about their professional & social lifestyles. Inevitably a bond gets developed between the babysitter who is now the primary caregiver to the child.
Sometimes a child will become so attached to their granny or the nans and the mother may start to question or even get jealous of the relationship that may exist between the two.
Then there are adoptive parents. They didn’t give birth to their adoptive child, but a bond is formed. A very strong and intense bond too, as the parents may feel as if they need to prove to themselves and to the child that not giving birth to them, doesn’t mean they love them any less.
In my opinion recognition should be given to those parents or guardians who take care of a child, as they are the one create the bond with the child without even giving birth to them. I am so blessed to write about this topic, because we have couple of adopted kids at home and we know the real value of the love for the babies that are given birth by individuals and as adopted kids love.
I was given birth by my mother, but was deeply taken care of my mother’s mother and sister (Granny and Chithi), when I was young. The attachment with my granny and my Chithi is so lovable and I can give up anyone and anything for their love.
When we were in schooling, my neighbors were like the care takers and I have to think of all of them all through my life for giving me a better care along with their kids, when my parents were not around us.
I really wonder, how I got the instinct to love the third persons or strangers to the fullest or to show my care and concern to someone whom I know just for a day or a month. When I gave a deep thinking, I got the reason as my parents. They were not able to show their love and care to us, when we were young of course, they were busy in their professional life only for our survivals. Still the way we got all the love is from outsiders and may be a reason for me to show my gratitude in this way.
Still I will say that I have got the best parents when I compare my life style with others as the people who has everything other than the love and I have so much love only because of them. Whatever I am today is because of their indifferences in their life style and they taught me to grow in my life with all the struggles. They are the one who taught me all the confidence, thought provoking attitude, professional growth, sincerity, passion to work, passion to love, passion towards life, passion in anything I do…
What is my passion now???
I wanted to adopt two kids and wanted to dedicate my life for them, but god has some other plans for me and I am awaiting for it…..