Forgive and Forget -2

Everywhere in the world, we used to fight with sisters, parents at home and even with our friends in our outside circle, with colleagues in office environment, but those fights are for short-term and it will not lead to grudges but there are some situations which we will not be able to forget, like for a small misunderstanding between friends, avoiding them without reasons or avoiding them in a particular situations or not enjoying their happiness or success, just because they have given the pain to us is not forgivable. All these small misunderstandings are to be forgotten and it don’t require forgiveness as well.

There is a situation like I had a fight with my sister and am not acknowledging her success in her professional life or I got a failure in my personal life and she achieves some success or a milestones in her personal life and if I don’t feel happy about it, it is on personal ground and because of jealousy and selfishness I am unable to enjoy her success.

Same situation with a colleague, when a colleague is having a good time and succeeds in promotion or getting double bonus or an appreciation, if I am unable to be part of their success it is fine, I should not hurt them because of jealousy and hatred. Is it the mistake of the other person? Success in everything comes by the straight appreciation and showing happiness and not by keeping the grudges inside the heart.

Even God can’t help these kind of people, because these people read the Gita, Bible and Quran and continue doing these kind of activities without repenting or feeling. God acknowledges the sincere prayers and plea for forgiveness.

Who has to be forgiven and what has to be forgotten in the above cases?? Indecent behavior of not valuing the others success need to be forgiven or the hatred for the other person need to be forgotten or immature attitude of not forgetting my fight with sister or colleague to be forgotten?

Forgiveness is considered as one of the highest qualities. It is said to be that Forgiveness to be considered as weakness. Forgiveness should not be presented at all the times and maybe so ought to not be exhibited all the times. If only one knows when one knows that when it can be shown and when it should not be then only you can have the quality of forgiveness.

When you forgive the person for the first time, you are giving the chance for the other to do the same mistake once again and you are suppose to forgive them again and again. Unknowingly you are asking them to go ahead and do the mistakes. When the child tried to eat the mud, if mother gives a slap on the first instance, it will have fear to touch the mud again. If she hugs and says oh my child, you are my love of the world, don’t do it , it will not understand her words, but it will understand the action if she would have slapped the child. It is the mistake of the mother not of the child. It is not to show that mother is more powerful than the child. It is obvious that mother will be powerful compared to the kids.  We are allowing the kids to make the mother more vulnerable by showing her love and not showing the right attitude to the child. Mother has to forgive herself first and start slapping the kid on the first instance.

For all the crimes in the world is because of the word forgiveness. Whether it is a rape or a murder or hurting one knowingly, the reason behind everything is they all know that they will get a chance of forgiveness.

Mercy should be shown to those who deserve and not to the merciless creatures. All the holy books says show mercy after protecting yourself. When someone comes and hurts you, nothing says don’t do harm to these creatures which is coming to hurt/kill you. Protect yourself by killing it also. 

Forgive yourself is the motto. Forgiveness is a virtue and a sacrifice. How do Forgiveness can develop only by meditation, dhyana and detachment from this worldly. It is true that when you forgive people all the times, people may not respect you. Forgiveness in the mind is required to be practiced at right time.

Forgiveness is really a stupid word because how can we forgive someone who has done something wrong to us? Forgiveness is unnatural thing and it is not an easy thing as well.

Forgive and Forget is what comes to our mind when we talk about forgiveness, but ideally it is not possible to forget what has happened in our life. It is not easy to forget someone who has done something which terribly to hurt us. We can start the practice of forgiveness but we can’t forgive someone who does the same mistakes repeatedly or hurts us knowingly.

I don’t think we can forgive them so easily.  It is very difficult for us to show the love for these persons same like before as we started feeling the pain as terrible. Feelings will not change in us, but these people will use the feelings for the benefits and to screw us. When it is once or twice we might prefer to forgive someone but when it goes on, I don’t think we will.  Even a mother will beat her kids when they do some mistakes again and again.

We can forgive the person who hurt us because of our love for few times, but not always as the other person doesn’t understand that they are being forgiven only because of our love for them.  Forgiving them for more than they deserve will lead to vengeance as we have forgiven them and they have taken us for granted to give more and more pain leads to vengeance not to forgiveness.

I have not considered any of your hurts as hurt, because I took everything as your attitude and I accepted it as your character. Since I felt like that, it was not hurting me in the beginning and day by day your torture started I felt that I don’t deserve this pain any more. Now am unable to forgive myself and I am unable to come out of my pain.

I am sick and tired of my life being hurt because of such unwanted things. When I felt the pain at the first time itself I should have thought you as a CRAP. I failed to do it and taken to this level which is my mistake. I allowed you to play with me and my feelings is my problem. Now I want my life to be good for me and my future. I want my life to be valuable realistic and respectable as usual. I want my life to be blessed so as god can fill my heart with love for everybody.

I don’t want to hold the neither the pleasant(what you said as past real love, I consider everything as acting only because love has only one tense – LOVE was LOVE is and LOVE will always be LOVE only)past with me to make me down. I don’t want to intervene with the tumor of hatred in me to play with my future. I don’t need to do anything with the past and I have my today for others and to make others happy and smile.

I don’t want to carry the rocks of pain with me to block my today and tomorrow. Neither I am not going to be buried under the rocks nor am I going to build the bridges with the rocks. I am going to ditch the rocks.

I was so proud and used to say that I don’t have enemies and I pray even for the unknown enemies. I used to forgive everyone for their mistakes whether they repent for it or not. There are some things in my heart which I can’t forget but I used not to have the grudges within my heart and mind.

When you don’t have any grudges automatically, you are in the mode of forgiving the person. Whether you forgive the person or not, you will not be in a place to forget. When you forgive, you will not think that the person will do the same mistake/sin once again to you. When you don’t forgive them that means you feel that they will do the same harm to you or to others as well in the same way. It is better to avoid these people than to continue the relationship. It is not only for the welfare of us but also for that person benefits. You don’t need to spend your golden time with such a heartless person and try hard to change them. It is easy for us to change ourselves not changing others.

We just need to know that Feelings don’t walk away but people do”. Keep the feelings and throw the people who sow the seed of those feelings if they hurt you. It is better to live with the feelings than holding the people with pain.

We have to be kind to ourselves and say to ourselves that I hate seeing people go back to the same person who hurt them a million times. We don’t need to forgive anyone and they are answerable to god on their last day.

When someone ignores you or your love, it is easy to come out of it saying that Leaving me was not your mistake but giving you my real love to you was my biggest mistake.

I thank god for showing your real color so early because I can find out the real person who deserves it than to hold you anymore. I don’t need to forgive you because god has forgiven me and shown the real color of you and allowing me to set you free and to make me free from the hostage.

My Best friend told me that your life is not going to end with this silly girl and who doesn’t deserve any love from you and you have wider vision and you have to show it to the one who needs it. Please design your life and go ahead.

Another friend said, “You are wanted by many and your love is precious, please come out of the hell, we know it is easy to say but very difficult to come as she is in each of your cell”. Still “YOU CAN COME OUT OF THIS”.

With all the goodness in my heart, I got this much pain, because god warned me nearly 7 or 8 months back, I failed to follow him. Once again I made a promise on you that I will not call you but I failed to keep it up. You made me to break the promise for which I am taking all these 4 months pain as punishments.

Forgive yourself and forget the past – is not possible because I am a simple human and I will not be in a position to forgive and forget. Either I can forget or Forgive the incident. We can’t do both together. Neither I am following Jesus to show my other cheek when someone hits me, nor am I following Islam to forgive someone who come and repent for their mistake. I am unable to forgive myself for allowing you to haunt me.

“If a female isn’t thankful for what she’s got, she isn’t likely to be Thankful for what she’s going to get in future also“. She will not be thankful even to god because she neither knows what is love or what is thankful also. God will handle her and leave your pain also to him. It is waste of time to hold the negative people. I have to forgive myself not others, because I was the one who did all the mistake of selecting an unworthy person. But we will come to know the people worthiness only in the tough times. 

Tough Time Never Last But Tough People Do. 


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