Archive | November 2012

Love Pain Hurt – Everything is Love

 

 

When you Love, Pain & Hurt are interlinked and without pain and hurt there is no love. If you dont get hurt, then that is not love. When you get only hurt then that is also not love. 

This entry was posted on November 26, 2012, in General.

This Hurts Me More Than it Hurts You

Hurting words can come from anyone like parents, siblings, spouses, best friends, coworkers, etc. but nothing is intentional. It doesn’t matter who hurts is, the fact is words creates wound with revenge.

I know my dear, I was very harsh and it happens very often now days and especially with the one I love deeply. I know very well that words are very dangerous and it can lead a serious threat to any relationship. I used to be very careful and cautious in letting the word go.

Tongues are sharper than the swords.There is a saying keep silence, and control your tongue, it doesn’t mean that we have to hurt the others feelings.

Even when I get hurt, I will try not to hurt the other person. Only those who are my blood relatives knows that I am very wild (Parents & Siblings). For others I am aggressive but not wild or ferocious.

Love is my passion in  inner circle, when I take them to inner circle, I show all my feelings.

Sometimes we say and mean hurtful things deliberately to hurt the person we love the most. In such a way I did something and it really pricks me more than her silence. I know she was deliberately keeping silence.

It’s a known fact that the once the words are out of the mouth, it’s impossible to take them back, whether it comes from mouth or from the heart. The pain and hurt are very clear in the heart of the person who was hurt and but the hurt will be double of yours as I hurt you. My heart got torn into pieces when I hurt you my dear. I know you can’t take even a small pain and this hurt and when it is from me, you would have got hurt more. I am really sorry.

When I got hurt, I was not able to let you go and may be all the hurts turned to grudges for a moment. Even in pain, I would not have hurt you. If it is a friend or anybody other than you, definitely, I would have taught them a lesson by moving away.

When it is you, even in wildest dreams I can’t hurt you, because you are so sweet for me.

After uttering the words I felt whether I did it as an act of vengeance or payback the hurt. But soon after hurting you, I realized that I lost my humanness and I lost the sanctity of my love because love can’t hurt anyone.

I would like to recall a small story which I read long time back. A scorpion was suffering in a river and a saint was crossing the river and tried to rescue it. When he tried to save it, the scorpion bites the saint hand. A disciple of the saint asked his guru, why you tried to save the scorpion when you know that it will bite you?

The Guru politely answered the disciple that biting is its character and helping, loving, saving is my character. I can’t change my character for the scorpion sake.

Why I am recalling this short story here is, I was deeply hurt by you, but it doesn’t mean that I have to hurt you back. For few days I became like you and I started hurting you badly which is not my basic instinct.

When I was hurt initially I used to keep it in mind that I have to take it or leave it. I should not feel that it hurts me, and I continued, but may be that made you to hurt me every now and then.

I should have not let it go, I should have avoided those kind of situations. I took everything so lightly and I gave the chances for you to do it again and again. I allowed you to take me for granted, because of my love for you.

Love is a sweet feeling dear and care is the way of showing that you love the other person and it is not for exploiting others feelings.

Sometimes it is good to let it go and not to hold on to something that’s done which can’t be altered. I know I can’t repair the wound and the scar will be there in your heart. I tried to choose to let it go,  chances are there that the relationship will heal and flourish. but I am unable to let it go because it gives more pain to you.

I know that you can’t handle if I give pain to you and I am sure that I behaved wild only because of you. You neither allowed me to move away nor to stick on with you. You were either ready to leave me once for all or ready to be with me as well. Only god knows what the problem is as you never shared it.

Sometimes the hurt is so deep in the heart of the person who was hurt, and they walk away from the relationship. This time the hurt is so deep in my heart as I created it to the one whom I love and who would never ever expected that I will hurt her like that. Very often pride or the self-esteem stands in between the person who did the hurting and the person who was hurt. Anyway you have given the reason saying that you are selfish and I can’t help or to change you to self-less.

Especially when the moment you asked me to pray, I am not supposed to utter those words. If it was in some other time, I would not have felt that I hurt you also.

You know that your behaviors did hurt my self-esteem to great extent and you continued to do it was paining more than the hurt. I know I gave up my self-esteem of 90% to you, but if I would have given that 10% then I would have lost my life in the name of love. I am ready to do it now for the hurt what I have given for you.

Whatever may be the reason, whether to get more love or to hurt them intentionally it is pain only my dear? If you would have felt that I will have pain in my heart when you do this purposely, you would not have done it. In the same way, I should not have used those words to you even though I did not mean it to hurt you. Neither it was intentional nor it was spontaneous words.

Instead of trying to make it correct and to heal the pain, you started pinning it more and more, when you said it you have done it purposely, my ego got hurt and my-self took over. Even then I asked you “Have I ever disappointed you?

I know that you purposely did it and I don’t want to disappoint you, that is the reason, I gave up all my self-esteem and showed you the same care and concern. It doesn’t mean that I am mad of you or I have shown over love. It is because of your love and the way I have felt it. It is not that I love you; it is because I know what your love is. I value that relationship and I respect your love.

As you said, that you did it purposely, my loving relationship has no value in it. I don’t want to hurt you by any means but when you have real love, you will not do anything purposely.

I too hurt you, when the pain given by you was very extreme from you. I did not do anything purposely, may be to make you realize that it will pain for the other person.

Nobody can do something to the person who loves them more than their life. When you said that you did it purposely, it really disturbed me a lot. It has become nothing not even worth of keeping it in memory. It doesn’t have to be that way.

When we are in love, our LOVE holds great significance for us and which makes as a source of both great happiness  and deep sadness. Your love has brought me great joy, blessed feeling and I expected for sure that it will bring in deep hurt, but I never expected that it will bring in such a way. Even before enjoying the great love, I got the deep hurt which was the most painful moment for me.

It is very easy to know why someone who doesn’t love the other person and it is easy for them to  break the heart. It is easy to break a heart when we do not love those who love us, there is a possibility to hurt them. Even in that case I will try not to hurt them, but just I will avoid them, because I give respect to the other heart who loves me. I can’t even say no to them just because of their care and concern.

However, hurting the one we do love happens when we feel dejected. How can one love and hurt the same person?

I accepted that pain with tears and said it is because of the one who made me to smile and for that smile I can give up my life why not tears?

When someone hurt us, it’s all very easy to just open our hand and allow them to let go and walk away from it. That’s the easy way, but it’s also the losing way.

You and the person that hurt you both lose out because you lose each other. But if we stop and ask ourselves why the person said hurtful things to us to start with, it could help the situation immensely. I know why you did it because, I have shown my love to you and you wanted to explore it whether I am doing it again or not.

I could have walked away but I could not do it, because my love is true, real and more than anything it is holistic, divine and even now it pains a lot but still my love is sweet when I say it is for you and even the pain is sweet when it is by you.

However, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person. You are the one who used to say that it is part of love and don’t worry and have to hurt each other. For me hurting is not Love. I learned to take hurt as love only from you. 

Sometimes, though not always, a person will say something that hurts because they were stressed out or going through really tough times. They use us as bouncing board, someone to vent their frustrations out. But and not vent what’s really going on, the stress comes out as hurtful words to us. Initially when you said that I can show it only to you, I was really happy. I was so happy because you considered me to show your frustrations.

No doubt we have all done this to someone we love and had it done to us. The difference is in how we handle it after hurting the other person is what matters us most.

Do we choose to see the hurtful words for what they most likely are, stress and frustration at something in life, or do we take it personal (which it probably isn’t at all) and get angry and upset and just walk away.

If we walk away, we lose out on a wonderful relationship. Just because someone gets upset and stressed and says something that hurts us is not a reason to end a relationship, but sadly that’s what happens too often.

I know you are not going to lose anything even if I leave you, but I can’t say that I will not lose anything because I value you and your love more than anything in this world.

We can choose to leave the past or live in the past, knowing that the past can’t be undone, and put our pride on the back shelf, and we can start fresh.

To do this, it’s important that you understand that we all make mistakes and that no matter what someone has said or done, they simply cannot change the past.

No amount of regret will undo something that was done or said. If we choose to hold onto a past hurt, we are the ones that are hurting ourselves. The person who said something or did something that hurt us is not hurting us. I can hold the words and I can regret it for life long if it will heal your hurt. I can keep it as pain for hurting the one I love.

When we choose to allow pride to keep us from reaching out to the other party, we are the one who is hurting ourselves. We don’t have to let the past to haunt us. We know that it cannot be changed, to rule our present.

Sometimes it is really hard letting go and starting over and it seems that letting something go would somehow diminish the hurt that was said or done. In Reality it is not the fact. Letting go of the past and beginning again isn’t diminishing anything nor was taking away the fact that hurt caused.

Hurtful words cuts deeper, but the deepest cut isn’t really the hurtful words at all, but rather the lost relationship and love if the two parties involved don’t put the past to rest and begin fresh.

Love is simply forgiving, moving on, and living and loving again. To hold onto the hurt is to reject yourself and a beautiful relationship. Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not.

Those who are in real love can easily hurt the beloved without intending to do so. Because they are so significant to each other, any innocent remark or action can be interpreted in a manner that the other person did not intend and hence be hurtful.

If I think and talk something, then it is not love my dear, I don’t want to think and talk, I have to speak whatever it comes and it should not hurt you as well.

Love is spontaneous and it is like a river and it has to flow. May be it saw a mountain and was not able to go smoothly on its way, but still love is flowing and it will reach the top and flow as a falls and it will not get wasted in the Sea.

When something comes and if it haunts you then there is a reason for it and you are the reason for it or you could be one of the reasons of it.

How can I let someone go just because for hurting when the pleasure of love is more? Whether your love is more or the hurt is more?  Whatever it is I would prefer to get that hurt again and again to get your love.

When you expect the other person to understand your situations, don’t you feel that you have to think from the other person’s side as well? Just because someone loves you don’t mean that they have to look all the time your side only. Sometimes the other person needs you to look their side as well.

Sweet heart, though I started this content to say that hurting you is hurting me more. But this content is to give you some justification that you can hurt me, I am still not sure you are doing it out of your profound love for me.

In the last 12 days, I have taken the entire pain in my heart, in the same way as a let out, I discussed with couple of my friends and I said that I hurt her with this words and it really kills me. Both of them said, you didn’t mean to hurt her but tried to tell her what she needs to do only.

If she doesn’t understand your love for her, then she will take it as a hurt and she will keep it in her heart. Still I say that Hurting is not Love and I am really sorry for the hurt.

I sincerely apologize for whatever happened for being so wild, please consider it as the voice of doom and gloom (bad outcome from me). But, if you give your heart and love in someone you will hurt or be hurt by that person. HURT is inevitable and it is also sweet when it is by a sweet and lovable person like you.

In Dreams

A Letter in Dreams is also sweet when it is from you my dear Sweet Little Angel…

My Dear Cute,

I thought of writing a letter to you but I know that I will not get a reply from you. So I decided to get into my dream world and thought that let me get a letter from you to tell me that the love for me is vanished from your heart.

I don’t know how will you give the salutation because dear means someone who is close to heart and My dear may look like over love and hey is common and Hi & Hello are just an informal way of communication. Whatever you say, I love it. Let me say it as Hey as I love and a chemical reaction will happen in my heart when I read this “HEY”. It’s a First and last letter from you, so let it start with a Hello.

To the one who loves me madly!  ! !

Hello,

The so called great love what you felt from me is gone and I find my dislike for you as I feel your love as OVER LOVE. I know your love grows every second and missing me makes you to feel more and more love for me. I purposely avoid you so as you can understand that you are stupid to show your love. You never tried to stop caring and not regretting for loving me.

You only think of yourself by pouring your love and you never know that how difficult it is for me and I find it very difficult to take up your love as it is over boasting. You love is over beating. I make you to feel that I am arrogant by not showing any response, but still you are not ready to give up. I can only show my hardness, frustrations. Why don’t you understand and leave your love for me? Are you mad? I am unable to take your arrogant selfish love.

I do not even like to see your face as it has shown over love, the one thing that I want to do is to HATE you so as you will not CARE for me. I never wanted to disturb you or to get your love. I don’t want you to get beaten up with your love. Our last conversation was very boring as you always shown your over love and it has not made me to look forward or to feel your love or to see you again. I am not comfortable to talk to you and I need love not Over Love. 

If we are together, I know I would find your love very difficult and I would have no pleasure in getting bored with this OVER LOVE. You have a heart only to give but I do have a heart but not only to receive, but it is not something that I can give as you do. No one is more foolish and crazy than you, and please don’t ever care for me, think about me and please help yourself to get rid out of me.

I sincerely want you to understand that I tell the truth and your over love is hurting me again and again and I am not interested to take it from you anymore. Will you please do me a favor? Think this is the end.  Please do not try to answer this. Your Love is full of boastful that do not interest me at all. I don’t care and I give damn to your feelings as it hurts me. If you feel that your love is true for me please don’t even say a Good-bye!  Keep silence and get lost.

Believe me, I do not care for you and I don’t want to hear anything from you. Please do not think that I am still your sweet little Angel. I was never like that and I will never be able to be like this. I hate your OVER LOVE and please do HATE me for sending this lovely letter to you

With All My Toughness to show it to you, 

Never Your Sweet Angel 

Good Bye 

Waiting for my Sweet Little Angel

Waiting for my Sweet Little Angel

I am really amazed to see the love for you and how I got this love for you my angel and from where it came in?  I was not even dreaming about this. I live in dreams only when it is not possible for me to live in life. I dream and make my dream come true. I live in dreams when my dreams can’t come true.

I never use to feel that I am alone and I normally lose myself in dreams when I feel that I need someone beside me.  I came in as a stranger and I never thought that someone will come in my life. You came in a different way and made me to fall in love. U gave me hopes, U gave me a dream, U gave me a fantasy. I don’t know why you came in.

Do you want to know the love of me for you my dear?

I want you to feel how much I love you

I want to feel how much you love me

I want to hold your hands and fell in your love for me.

I want to walk with you on the cool sands of the Beach.

I want to hear your sweet voice and nothing else in those words..

I want you to be protected and wrapped with my prayers my dear..

I want to show you how much I care.

I want to show you how much I am blessed when you are in me.

I want to hug you with my thoughts and tell you what you mean to me..

Every minute I long for you..

Every moment I pray for you..

Where are you my cute little angel?

Why do want to punish me?

You made me to love you

You made me to miss you

You made me to wait for you

You made me to watch for your return.

You made someone MAD of you….

Loving, Missing, Waiting and Watching for someone we love is truly miserable…

Most unforgettable moment for me in loving you is I learned what is REAL LOVE

I will tell you what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the entire world, giving up your whole heart and soul to another.

Over Love

Over Love – A new terminology for me – Learned this word from you.

There are many reasons that everyone makes us smile, or hurts our heart and makes us cry, but when you already cried, there is the only one who can make us forget everything and will make you smile. Anyone can make you smile or cry, its takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. I don’t cry or smile because of others and I try to give my smiles to them and take their burden’s to my shoulder.

You entered my life like this as a special person. Unknowingly I named you as MY SMILE, but your Love brought a smile from my heart and it’s not that I understood that smile is from heart, people around me noticed it and asked that there is a change in you, I think you are in love, who is that lucky guy? They didn’t know that it was by a cute little girl 🙂

When you said that you are deeply hurt because of my over love, I was unable to control my tears.  I don’t know whether it was in happiness or in sadness also. Sooner I realized that you are unable to say the truth that you are not hurt by my love, and you are hurt because you are not able to give it back to me. I never asked you to give it back in the way I give, I know for sure that you can’t give it back to me in my way because, you don’t know what is love?  I have this privilege to say that you don’t know what love is because you felt my love as OVER LOVEI have shown you just 10% of my love to you my dear.

I can’t expect from a kid, who is trying to crawl to run with me in a marathon. It is not fair to do so. Do you think I expected you to return it? When I know that you can only crawl, how can I expect you to run? I want this crawling child to accept my love.  You will ask me, how I have to accept your love? I don’t have answer for this because, I can give my love, but I don’t know how to ask you to accept it. You are the first one to get this kind of love from me. If you return the love, then there is no meaning in my love darling. I am here to share my love and when it is you, it is very special.

I don’t have any words to explain what the measure of love is or how to measure my love for you? To measure a person, you have to measure the heart of that person only and nobody has given any thumb rules to measure the love in a person’s heart.

May be you are right, I have not given your entry only to my heart, I have given it to my brain, body and soul. As I have given the entire love to you, I don’t know how to love you when I miss you? Whether to miss you or to love you or whether to wait for you to accept my love? Loving, missing, Waiting are part of Love and since I know only to love, I was in deep pain whether to miss you or to wait for you, but you gave me a chance to do all together…. Only you could get all three together my dear, because I don’t have anyone so intimate to my heart.

There is a child inside each one of us, who comes out in front of the person we are most comfortable with. you have shown that child in you to me. Nothing more is there and I love that kid not the matured lady.

A morning text does not simply mean, good morning. It comes with the silent love to say you that “I think of you when I wake up” you are the first one who cross my mind and in the same way my night message does not mean “good night”, I say you that I think of you before going to bed, I never know whether I will get up in the morning or not, but you are in my last thought before I go to my bed. When I send a hug, it is not just an emotion my dear, it means that am sending you all my love as a warm hug and wanted you to feel the love in it. When I send the kiss, it is to say that am overwhelmed and I want you to feel it.  I can simply say that I have given only a drop in the ocean. I have love as ocean for you and what you have seen is only a drop of my love.

For some, love is for a day only and for some like me it is for lifetime. Love can’t be measured by any way. Intense love doesn’t measure, it just gives. Even to measure a friends love, you can measure it not by the number of promises they make it but the ones they keep up. The Measure of Love is when you love without measure. If you have any scale to measure let me know sweet heart.

I can love, accept, comprehend, understand, validate, support, appreciate, realize, people, I cannot make people to like, love, accept, comprehend, understand, validate, support, appreciate, realize or be nice to me. I can’t control them either. Only thing I can do is either I can’t say it doesn’t matter to me or I can let them go as they please. I can be your choice, reason or priority, but never as your option.

I don’t need to ask apologies to you for showing my real feelings. I don’t need to regret for being what I am and also showing my true Love, Care & Concern. If it matters to you, you will be with me. Same way no matter how it is for you, I can’t change my feelings and it has come only through you. If it was by me, I would have dreamed about you and you would have become my dream come true but you came in as a real feeling and want to go back as a dream 😦

It is true that I know you for very short time, but I have the impact is more in me than those I know for longer time. It can’t be only because of me my dear. I believe in myself more than anyone else. I know for sure that I can’t love someone like this in my life time and in the same way I can’t love you more than myself without any impact from you. You came into my life as wonderful feeling. I have my own power to overcome this feeling of you. I will not throw you out, but I will keep you secretly, my heart will talk to you virtually.

I can cut people and throw them out within seconds from my life. I have done it, hope if you recall my story you will come to know. It doesn’t mean that I hate them; it simply means I respect myself more. I still love them and it can’t be changed.

Money  can’t buy  TRUE LOVE, HEALTH, FRIENDSHIPS, CONTENTMENT, FULFILLMENT, HAPPINESS, TIME, PEACE OF MIND and I get all these when I have u by my side and if you have not got any of these from me, then I am really sorry and my sincere apologies and request you to walk out of my life.  If I can’t show all these with my love to you, then even with the entire world’s money you can’t buy it. I will be happy if you could buy someone because I will feel that she took an effort to prove that someone can love her better than me. My Price tag is very high and you can’t get it with your money my dear. You will get it only with your sweet priceless word, hug and kiss and even with your silence you have got it.

Two Powerful S said to be SILENCE & SMILE, SMILE is the way to solve many problems & SILENCE is the way to avoid many problems,  only u can create problems with your SILENCE and to take the SMILE out of me. Harsh Words Hurt Feelings But SILENCE Kills The Person.

Sometimes words don’t mean anything in a relationship, you can tell your beloved that “I LOVE YOU”, but your deeds can tell different things. You really love a person and you can prove it by your actions and not by the words. I know I have done the best of my ability and I don’t need to prove to anyone including you if I have to make you as my dream.

I don’t let people in to my inner circle. It’s hard for me, and after doing it, I can’t let them go and when they screw up, I feel like why did they do that to me? Did I do something wrong? Even with heavy pain, I can’t think that the other person is wrong, that is the love what I have for you. I did everything to make you happy and how could you screw me over and over?

It hurts the worst when the person that made you feel so special yesterday, makes you feel so unwanted today….Especially when I need you the most, you were not there by my side is what kills me more than anything. Just because you don’t seem to care for my love, doesn’t mean I should forget you, I hate you or to throw you out. Love is love only whether you accept it, or throw it.

In LOVE, I am the type of person who can be so hurt but still look at you & smile!  I am the type of person who is willing to brighten your day even if I can’t brighten my OWN.  I don’t follow Jesus and I will not show my other cheek when I get a slap from someone. I will throw them out of my life even if it is in love. I have done it with my parents, most of my friends. Sometimes, Love comes for a reason, and other times as a Lesson…

I can’t think that you came to me with a hello, lost at silence and everything in between, was nothing but a lie. I can’t hold you and I let you go, even though it broke me into pieces. Sometimes I wish I never became so close to you, that way it would not be as hard saying a goodbye to you…

When you say I LOVE YOU, it is a commitment with someone else’s heart. Try to honor it and don’t break it with your ill feelings. Everyone can Say “I LOVE YOU but not everyone really means it. May be I believed it when you said it, that’s why I lost it even before I feel that precious love from you.

LOVE brings pain even the pain look meaningful when it is because of you. PAIN makes people change, but it also makes them stronger… Don’t Ever Keep looking for Love, that’s what I say to myself… after feeling the beautiful pain, I would stop but I am at it again… because it is you….

Love the person who really suffers without you.. !!! Because you can’t get a person who really feel the pain of real love when they miss you and it can never be defined. I know that Love can’t be PERFECT, but it has to be TRUEI think you felt my love is not TRUE.

When I say that I miss you, it’s not about how long it’s been since we last spoke or the amount of time since we were together last. When I say that I miss you, it’s because at that precise and very moment, I wish that you were here with me. Sometimes, I have said that I miss you when you are nearby me, I used to feel that I miss you when I am talking to you or even when we chat… Those were not to make you happy or to shower more love. It was my real feeling at that point of time.

Never take someone’s feeling for granted, you never know how much courage it took for them to express them. Because they know that with a stranger showing all their love will hurt them today or tomorrow….Whenever you hurt me, I take it as my sweet hurt, but when it is purposely, am unable to take the pain.

With blood we make the relations, but loyalty makes the outsider to your family.  If you feel only blood can show love, then I am sorry for taking you into my family. I can feel that I am not loyal to you that’s why you don’t consider me into family. It’s my mistake only for not being loyal to you.

I waited long and I will wait for you for the rest of my life. Even if that means I have to give you up for the rest of my life, I will wait for you. Even if you don’t come forever, I will love you till my last breath. I love you that much and nothing will ever change me or my love for you”. I don’t want to hold something and hoping it will come back, knowing it won’t.

I didn’t stop loving you. I just decided to stop showing it because no matter how hard I tried you just wouldn’t understand it. I started talking to you in my heart, it looks crazy but sooner or later I have to come back to my den to live my life. Instead of tomorrow, I started it today. I will stop loving you on the day I close my eyes forever.

I cherished all the time I have spent with you and I have all of it as my sweet memories. I know that someday we might not be together and I might not get another chance to enjoy the fruit of love.

I can’t show something which you don’t deserve and god wanted me to show it to you. Nothing happens on our own, if so I can make you stick with me, everything is pre-decided by god and there is a reason for it.

Above all, I don’t need to chase love from anyone as I said I have ocean to give it to you, means I have got such a beautiful circle around me. Never Chase love, affection or kindness, if it is given voluntarily, it has no meaning and not worth having in my life.

My dream story

Oh the whole world laughs at me, Still I Love you


I Want To Say Don’t Go, But I Have To Let You Go

 

Love Love Love

 

 

Not a Dream to Erase

Not a Dream to Erase

 

Love is Not How You Feel

Love is Not How You Feel

 

Ur Smile

Ur Smile

 

Rainbow requires both SUN and RAIN

Rainbow requires both SUN and RAIN

 

Ends - Mark of New Beginning

Ends – Mark of New Beginning

 

I Love You