My Dear SH,
Sorry for writing this so late after a week, I was literally busy with my treatment, sickness swallowed me literally and it is eating my brain so nicely without giving a minute for me to do my work. When I got time, I started writing for my cute angel who is accompanying me all through the day (Yazhini a sweet singer from Super Singer program, unfortunately started writing in Tamil).
I am really sorry for sending a nasty SMS to you. If I was in normal mindset, I am sure that I would not have sent that SMS, I was totally upset and confused with my health both physically and mentally because of so many factors. I really didn’t mean something wrong about your people. It was just out of frustration dear. I never used to hurt people with words if once uttered, then I can’t take it back. Only my family used to get such harsh words from me and I say those harsh words only to those who can take it for my love sake.
I don’t have any words to ask apologies to you. I tried to explain the inner meaning of that SMS but still it hurts you and I know that will be there in your heart forever. I can’t take it back or I can’t repair the wound what it has created, but let us forget the scar. You can feel that as a your friends gift to you. I am sorry a painful gift.
When I sent another SMS to you to watch my favorite artist reentry movie “English Vinglish” of Sri Devi, I really enjoyed your reply to that SMS. “Does that Character resembles me, was your question”? My dear, I really don’t have answer for your question because I have not seen the movie as I am here in the hospital and they have not allowed me to sit for 30 minutes, I can’t watch it in near future also to say whether it resembles your character. I know you have strong sense of relating the non-realities to reality. Somehow you felt that you have some resemblance and you would have sent that response after reading the reviews of that movie. You took 13 hours to reply to that SMS. I can say, partly it resembles your character, but my intention was to say how she has performed that character and the story of the character has to go to your heart. Even now I am saying you please watch it, it will be a great change for you from your routine as well as you will get some instincts from that movie.
When we want some changes in our life, we have to bring in the change in ourselves and and don’t expect the changes from others or through others.
In spite of that SMS, you made my day within few days by saying that you were thinking to call me when you were feeling so upset and was about to shed tears. I was so flat when you said that you wanted to talk to me, when you were feeling like to cry. I know what kind of impact I have given in you. I know for sure you did not say that to flatter me or to make me happy. I feel so happy that god has given a gift of love to you through my soul. When you need a friend to lean on, you can call me anytime and I will be there for you sure.
You used to tell me every now and then, don’t show your love to those selfish people including yourself and advised me to get ditched or exploited in the name of love. You have asked me why I have to take the pain also, yes you are right and there is no need to take any pain for anyone in this life. I have not tried to show love, just tried to make people smile, because “Every time when you smile at someone, it is an action of LOVE, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing and Peace begins with the smile”, If I can be a reason for that smile, it makes me so happy.
But I will take your advice sincerely from now on-wards and I will not show my smile to anyone. In making others smile, I don’t want to lose my smile forever.