Why can’t colleagues be good friends?

Why can’t colleagues be good friends?

When a colleague is considered a friend? Can colleagues offer friendship which is selfless and above office politics? Are good colleagues automatically considered friends or do we need to have some thin layer that must not be crossed?

I never felt cordial or to be friendly to my colleagues. I really don’t trust any colleagues to share my personal details. I always used to think that I can’t be cordial with a colleague. We never realize a colleague as close friend or these kinds of questions exists in the working environment.

I guess most of us will clearly say that we want to keep a layer between professional and personal life. I am sure that I have this as a feeling. Somebody who is working with us, does it mean that they are not worth making as friends? It is not that they are not worth to be friends; it means that they are our professional colleagues, who will not be entertained to the personal level by me.

Colleagues are people with whom we spend the greatest time of our week. So we need to support them and need not be envisioned as best friends.

I actually happened to see a small TV program, and the show has inspired me a lot to write on the subject and which is something related to my mind only. Most of the people who attended the program are professionals and almost of them were under the impression that colleagues can never replace the real friends you have under different circumstances.

When asked about the average time spent outside office with colleagues, the joint result was about 1 hour or less than that in a week.

One of the professional who attended the comment said that “I fear sharing personal details is not risk free. If we would be in a tight situation, let’s say like a promotion, he could use it against me.” Another person said, I occasionally share my personal details with a colleague who I admire, but I always have a concern that things might leak out and it stops him from sharing my personal with colleagues.

Why can’t colleagues be our best friends? What is it that leads us not to believe our colleagues? Intentionally or otherwise, we end up spending much time with our colleagues. Then why do we have concerns in accepting them as best friends?

We used to meet some nice colleagues at work, people whom you enjoy working with and have good communication and teamwork with whom I talk to them often and share a common degree of understanding. From all the signs they could potentially be good friends, if so what would be the identifiers that separate friends from merely good colleagues?

Sasi Kumar, Prakash, Aditya DVS, Cinni, Siva Shankaran, Leema Roselin, Kalaivani, Vennila Srinivasn are few among the colleagues with whom I love to share my personal details to great extent and others will be only to the level of official matters.

Major factor of our conversations should deviate from work/workplace related issues.

If we find ourselves engaged in long conversations about work, itching about other colleagues, tingling about boss, then this person is most likely just a good colleague. To me, a friend is someone with whom we would converse on topics unrelated to work like for instance share your interest, passions and other aspects of our personal life.

No matter how good a working relationship, a person is just a colleague if we would hardly ever meet them out of a working environment. This is part of the socializing aspect of being a friend where we spend our free time to do activities together. These are the things what normal friends would do. If we don’t meet the friend who works with us out of the office hours or we don’t have a get together or sharing of our personal time, then they are not to be considered as a friend and they are merely a colleague only.

There are colleagues whom I will not even call and talk to them officially also. How can I consider them as best friend or to invite to my house, where there will not be any occasion at home without my personal friends. I can have best friends of my personal choice but colleagues are forced to be from the work environment and which can’t be avoided

I don’t give any chance most of the time for the colleagues to cross the threshold limits of being a friend.  Possibly due to long working hours or a hectic schedule that leaves precious little time for them as well. Already we are seeing the faces of the colleagues for more than 10 hours and it is good to socialize with our own set of other friends. Our heart and mind will be looking for some new faces and not the same faces with whom we interact more than 50 hours in a week.

Having thought about all this, it seems to me that while one can have many good colleagues at work, few ever cross the threshold into being a friend. I feel that it requires both time and opportunity for a good working relationship to advance to the next level and it is very hard to get such kind of colleagues as friends.

Dear Friends, not all people in this world are trustworthy. This world is full of rich people, but it is equally with bad people. Colleagues are after all humans like you, me and your school/ college pals. They also have the same emotional needs what I have.

In today’s corporate world, where working 10-12 hours a day has become a norm, most of the issues surrounding we are related to work. These are the issues which our spouse or family members don’t understand. We need someone inside the system who understands complexities, difficulties and repercussions. We need someone who understands all these and need to guide us or to support or console us. We have to accept that almost every day we have these kinds of conversations with our colleagues.

If we can trust them with something that affects our livelihood, why can’t you trust them with something that is related to your heart/personal affairs is the question which is coming in my mind? Still I don’t have answer for it.

At work environment, if something goes wrong, we can change it but personal life style we can’t change it because of a colleague and the same can be changed by a best friend. I strongly feel that we can’t have best friend from colleagues.

Above all the concerns, it is tough to get the work done by the colleague’s if we treat them as a friend and we are forced to be lenient and we have to do their work. Helping is different but lenience because of making them as close friend makes me to feel I am making myself weaker. Friendship makes us weaker and at work environment we have to be strong is what the reason to keep up some distance with the colleagues.

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