Archive | June 2012

Misunderstanding

You meet people who forget you.  You forget people you meet.  But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your friends.

Friendship is perhaps one of the most beautiful relat­ion that two people can feel and share. Friendship is about sharing opinions, dreams, fears and feelings, aspirations & ambitions, desires and hopes.

Friendship is about cherishing the old memories of togetherness of old friends with the new ones and creating a new relationship. Friendship is about enchanting conversations, which go on and on and make you lose track of time. When you watch friends hanging out and having a great time, it seems as if they just belong together. However, maintaining a friendship is not always blushing. It requires a sound mutual understanding with lots and lots of love and care for each other.

Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest.  It’s about who came, and never left your side.

Genuine friends must be cherished and not abandoned

Sometimes the smallest understanding can turn into a major excitement and can develop a great relationship. It really hurts very much when there is a misunderstanding between any relations and when it is between our friends, it takes us to change a lot. It hurts when two close people change by small misunderstanding.

If they are your true friends they would try to sort it out with you. You ask your friend how you have upset them, or what is wrong. At least they will try to find out the reason and try to correct the mistake or can try to explain them about their situation and the reason for the misunderstanding. Both of them will try to sort it out, if there is real love between them.

Sometimes EGO or the immaturity are the stupidest things that spoil the relationship or creates wreckage in the relationship.

I know it does hurt when the other person doesn’t try to understand the intense of the problem or not trying to sort it out.  If one tries and the tries to pull out, then the one who tries not to give up the relationship will try to move on without the relationship because there is no other option other than giving up. Always try to sort it out with your friends/relations. I hope you talk it out with your friend. Let your friend know that you are sorry and you want to correct things with her or him.

Immaturity of the one person or feeling the friendship as immature or the person might even consider the bond as a small matter; it might be very sensitive for the other one. You know there is sometimes what we say as touchy or soft spot that may seem nothing to others but matters to us a lot.

With this misunderstanding, we never know that your friend will feel lonely even when she is in the mid of huge crowd or in between too many people. Her mind will be around the stupid friend and the stupid misunderstanding if there is love.

When there is perfect understanding, there is no chance of misunderstanding. But quite often misunderstanding comes in picture of our life. There is no relationship in the world without any expectations. A friend will expect not to lose the friendship till end) ; misunderstanding can crop up when the expectations are not met. Even small misunderstanding gets magnified and it hurts the other person to great extent. Someone whom we love can’t be given up so easily if there is no pain.

Don’t try not to communicate with each other and make the small crack to break the bridge of friendship. If there is lack of communication and Ego will join the play, then there is no end for the misunderstanding.

It’s only when each one thinks, it’s the other’s fault and are too egoistic to be the first to make up, and it does change people and relationships.

A simple friend thinks the friendship over when you have an argument.  A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had a fight.

 A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.

 Strengths of friendship are

I love you as you are. I don’t want you to change, let me change myself for you and it will be in both the hearts and this will give the confidence in both that this will go on forever.

I might not agree with all your words what you are saying, but I will love to hear all those words and I will die if I don’t hear it.

I am sorry doesn’t mean that I am mistaken, I value the friendship what I have with you is the meaning.

I miss you says that I can’t be a stranger to you and I need you in my life, we are inseparable and don’t try to make our relationship as strange.

I miss you when I talk to you. I miss you when I am seeing you. Think how I will miss you when I am not talking to you. Don’t make me to avoid you for any reason my dear friend is what I mean when I miss you.

Misunderstandings are common everywhere. But, when you are quick in your apologies and ready to forgive, it becomes a healthy relationship.

Recognize what is petty and what is not petty as to avoid conflicts between the two.

Moving on is very easy, what you leave behind, that makes it difficult. It is really tough to take the heavy heart of missing someone because of their attitude problem.

Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding. ~ Sri Chinmoy

It’s better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of your pride.

 A true friend will tell us when we are wrong. Hear the Bible, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” 

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.

Please cherish all your friends for you never know when they will be gone.  Accept them as friends for they are your friends came in your life for a reason.  Never neglect them, their thoughts, their feelings for they will know you are not the only one to come till end.

 DON’T EVER TAKE FRIENDS FOR GRANTED, JUST BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU.

There is a saying that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. I know, I have got many and I do have a great life. Still my heart wishes to acquire some more…..

Give Up and Never Give Up

Never Underestimate what you can achieve when you believe in yourself.

I believe in me but I believe more in you that’s why I am ready to give up my love.

It is really a tough decision to give up and not to give up on any activities. Especially when we are in deep love and the person whom you love does not required to adore you but if the person whom you love does not understands the other person feeling, it is not the mistake of the other person, it is the mistake of the you for selecting the wrong person to love and thank that person for giving the opportunity to love and know the value of your love for the right person.

If someone is not interested in you it is very good. Don’t feel dejected and the person whom you love only should feel that they miss you. Think positively that in your best interest to find someone who does love and adore you for who you are. Know that you are worth it, and there are plenty of people who will love you. Never ever settle for someone who is not treating you and respecting you the way you deserve. 

It is not east to find what might be in their head or heart. It takes two people to be in a relationship and even though you feel the way that you do, maybe it was not meant to be in the way the other person wants it. Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you!

You can’t go in deep to the other’s heart wherein you don’t have any place, if you are in some heart you will never feel to give up. It is not an easy for us to give up on the one whom we love, but it is for the benefit of ourselves, we have to give up. There is a saying never give up, I will say give up because those who deserve the love will not let the other person even to give a thought of giving up the relation.

I know I deserve better and I don’t deserve any pain, I tell to myself that I don’t deserve this pain in most of the cases and I will give up the other for the benefit of myself.  I will say that you are not worth of my love, you are too young to realize what you are doing to me or to understand what is love and I guess that’s it and I have to give an end for this.

It’s not that I am feeling to get over a person, it’s about the feeling of good about ourselves. It’s about knowing that I am the most important and I need to be happy, if I am not happy, I can’t make others smile. If the other person doesn’t feel the same way, it doesn’t really matter. Love yourself more so as you can love others.

To give up or not to give up is always an unfortunate situation to have in anyone’s life. But it is quite common in everyone’s life. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other and it is not ideal for 2 people to love each other at the same pace, but life is never ideal. To get this kind of relationship to work, we need patience! We have to weigh either waiting for her or moving on as options. If our feelings are real, and we choose to hang in there, we will be taken for granted and anyone will take us for a ride. Still we must not scare her away with our feelings!

To be in great love, you should be great friends. If we let our feelings reach steadiness, we’ll find it becomes easier sometimes just to ignore your strong feelings for her and just kick-back and chill with her. It may give a hope to know that she can see you in the same light, just not so quickly or if you get the feeling that it will never then it is better to give up than to hold on to it.

It is strange when you are hurting from rejection, to hear someone say move on things will be fine. No matter how much you love her, she never loves you back. For all those wondering what went wrong. Stop wondering and say to yourself that you have not got the right person for you. She is not the right person to love. Only when you stop chasing someone who doesn’t love you, you will open the door for that perfect person who will love you back with the same passion that you will love her.

Best way is not to try to be in contact because it’s almost like an addiction. You think that one little text will do no harm but the pain when she doesn’t reply will just make things worse. It is very good to keep the distance and to avoid as much as possible so as we can avoid the self-hurt.

It is quite common in all of us that at times we feel very weak and feel we need to talk to that other person inspite of knowing that they will hurt you again. We don’t know why we want to talk to them, we just do it because of addiction.

I decided not to call or text message just because I have been doing it so far and I think I will be able to get out of these and I can make sure to the other person not to feel me as weak. If at all if it becomes difficult, the I will write down all my feelings and all my feelings and thoughts will come out, it might not be so pleasant as I do with her, but it actually helps.

Being in love with someone who does not feel the same way as you do is really a tough situation. It’s not a problem at all and we can fix those. It is better to walk off when someone doesn’t feel your love as the way you do.

Don’t even give them the privilege of friendship because you’ll pull yourself back into the misconception. Do things for yourself, keep busy, bury yourself in work and keep searching for what you really want and need. Don’t do the same mistakes over again and again.

If you believe in fate then we know that things happen when they are meant to be and we can’t avoid it. but we can be little careful not to get hurt. Many come and many go out of our life and they are part for some reasons beyond human understandings. But the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That’s the power of fate. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts. If I win your love, then it is your destiny and , if I lose, then it is my destiny to find a new love for me.

Firstly, love is a peculiar thing. If you truly loved someone, then you’d be able to realize that it’s OK if they don’t love you back, which shows your love. When we truly love someone, we don’t expect the same kind of love from them, but it really hurts that the other person doesn’t even understands it.

Don’t tell that they will change tomorrow, next week, next month maybe someday, who knows they will never change. True love accepts the person for who they are, even when they are evil and they don’t love you. That is what means accepting reality.  I love and accepted reality and at the same time, I am forced to move on.

It is not easy to deal with reality and move on without love, I take the bitterness with me and leave the sweet of my love for you. When I love without dealing with reality, I hurt myself. I still love the other person, and trying to accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you’ll need to do that continuously until it becomes a problem.

If we know for a fact there is no hope for a mutual love, then why torture ourselves. Move on. Treat it like a divorce. It will always be painful for one party if it is not a mutual divorce. It is a forceful divorce  to live and keep meeting people. You say to self that you have to be available for the right person who comes along your way.

Love is like a railway station, there’s always going to be another opportunity for the train to stop again — if we are ready for it at the station. Just stop being around that person if at all possible. If you can’t, then think in your mind about how wonderful it would be to actually find someone special that returns your love. Tell yourself that you deserve it.

It is not easy for anyone to control their love no matter how hard we try, we will fail and our love will always make us to fail. It’s just one of those things, but we can choose to love again. Write your thoughts on paper, sometimes it helps to get your thoughts out of you, in writing. It’s like a release or venting. Then tear it into pieces and flush it or scrap it so it can’t be found to possibly humiliate you later.

True love gives and expects nothing in return, a true unanswered love. Let me move on from my imperfect to perfect level.

I can only pray to God that you forgive them for not being able to love me. We have to deal with reality only…. In Reality god will only can guide you to come out of this love and not to make it as a a problem for anyone.

Give me the strength to realize that I can move on.

Give me the courage to try something different.

Give me the wisdom and sense for me to respect myself.

If you truly loved them, it doesn’t matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.

When you love someone you must know when it is time to let go. This sounds hard but that is the strength, courage and knowledge is gathered from a broken heart.

No one promised that love would last forever.

Never let bad feelings or experience change the person you are.

No one wants a wounded bird, so understand that you need time to heal internally. There is no set time on when this will happen, but just let it take it’s own time. When the time is right, and you will feel like you are ready to love again, don’t look for the love, let love find you

Life is short and a chance given by god to love others. So enjoy and taste your breath. Your battle is not lost, you are just about to begin a new chapter in love and start living your moment.

Love yourself, pray, not only for you, but for that person as well and to keep you strong.

Continues…

 

Sick of Love

My dear, I know how to handle my grief and I can take care of it, but to have the joy I must have somebody like you to divide it. No one can ever promise anyone they’ll never hurt, because at any point of time in our life it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth all the pain in the end.

I have told you many times that certainly I feel that am hurt because of you, but it doesn’t mean that it is not worth at all. When I cherish your love, I am supposed to take the pain as well.

I strongly believe that we can’t make someone to fall in love. We just can’t make someone fall in love just like that with us; there will be some special feeling towards in them to feel something great. It is highly impossible and I can’t make anyone to feel that I have something great. It has to happen. It happened on its own with you and of course, I started feeling your love for me and cherish it each second as I do with my mother’s love or of my family.

I don’t believe anyone saying I love you and I believe only when I start feeling it. I have felt it and I know it will not fade out even if I leave you, or this world as well. I strongly believe in my LOVE in the name of god. I know if someone loves me, then they will feel that my love is eternal & long lasting.

My feelings will never change even if something goes wrong with you; I have just learned how to hide it to them. I might not show it to you but it will be with me forever. If at all I have to leave you it will be for the benefit of you and I will make sure that you don’t get the pain of my love in such a way that you will hate me forever or will not feel bad of my absence. I hope god will not allow me to do such to you.

Love is not a big deal for me and I know I can get as many as I want in my life. I am surrounded by lovely people and I don’t need to search it. It comes to me with a good morning message and it goes on till I fall asleep.

Nothing is more painful than realizing that my love means nothing to you is the worst feeling, which I will not get it from you, that is the trust what I have in you. Have you given the trust to me, no I developed the trust for you in me.

 “Don’t put all your trust in what you see, but all your faith in what you feel”

But the way I developed my love for you is in very different way and I can’t erase it or throw it out even if you ask me to do, I can just hide my feelings for you.

If I have to leave you, I want you to know that in the end, it wasn’t because I stopped loving and caring, it will be because of the changes in your way of being what you are….

You are a special blessing that comes above from the sky. You bring sunshine with your smile to brighten my day. You bring joy through your loving ways.

You make me to smile in wonderful ways with some beautiful memories and You are such a special and beautiful treasure to love.

I thank god for giving me this pleasure.

You really couldn’t have known how much I love you so far because I still consider that you need time to grow in the relationship. You will understand the things what I have always for you when have a daughter of own. My wish for you would be to have a lovely daughter one who is just as like you… How happy I am and how lucky I feel to have the feeling of a kid?

If you feel that loving you is a sin, I am sorry I will be doing it forever and I am sorry for sharing it with you and I will hide it and keep it safely within me.

Why can’t colleagues be good friends?

Why can’t colleagues be good friends?

When a colleague is considered a friend? Can colleagues offer friendship which is selfless and above office politics? Are good colleagues automatically considered friends or do we need to have some thin layer that must not be crossed?

I never felt cordial or to be friendly to my colleagues. I really don’t trust any colleagues to share my personal details. I always used to think that I can’t be cordial with a colleague. We never realize a colleague as close friend or these kinds of questions exists in the working environment.

I guess most of us will clearly say that we want to keep a layer between professional and personal life. I am sure that I have this as a feeling. Somebody who is working with us, does it mean that they are not worth making as friends? It is not that they are not worth to be friends; it means that they are our professional colleagues, who will not be entertained to the personal level by me.

Colleagues are people with whom we spend the greatest time of our week. So we need to support them and need not be envisioned as best friends.

I actually happened to see a small TV program, and the show has inspired me a lot to write on the subject and which is something related to my mind only. Most of the people who attended the program are professionals and almost of them were under the impression that colleagues can never replace the real friends you have under different circumstances.

When asked about the average time spent outside office with colleagues, the joint result was about 1 hour or less than that in a week.

One of the professional who attended the comment said that “I fear sharing personal details is not risk free. If we would be in a tight situation, let’s say like a promotion, he could use it against me.” Another person said, I occasionally share my personal details with a colleague who I admire, but I always have a concern that things might leak out and it stops him from sharing my personal with colleagues.

Why can’t colleagues be our best friends? What is it that leads us not to believe our colleagues? Intentionally or otherwise, we end up spending much time with our colleagues. Then why do we have concerns in accepting them as best friends?

We used to meet some nice colleagues at work, people whom you enjoy working with and have good communication and teamwork with whom I talk to them often and share a common degree of understanding. From all the signs they could potentially be good friends, if so what would be the identifiers that separate friends from merely good colleagues?

Sasi Kumar, Prakash, Aditya DVS, Cinni, Siva Shankaran, Leema Roselin, Kalaivani, Vennila Srinivasn are few among the colleagues with whom I love to share my personal details to great extent and others will be only to the level of official matters.

Major factor of our conversations should deviate from work/workplace related issues.

If we find ourselves engaged in long conversations about work, itching about other colleagues, tingling about boss, then this person is most likely just a good colleague. To me, a friend is someone with whom we would converse on topics unrelated to work like for instance share your interest, passions and other aspects of our personal life.

No matter how good a working relationship, a person is just a colleague if we would hardly ever meet them out of a working environment. This is part of the socializing aspect of being a friend where we spend our free time to do activities together. These are the things what normal friends would do. If we don’t meet the friend who works with us out of the office hours or we don’t have a get together or sharing of our personal time, then they are not to be considered as a friend and they are merely a colleague only.

There are colleagues whom I will not even call and talk to them officially also. How can I consider them as best friend or to invite to my house, where there will not be any occasion at home without my personal friends. I can have best friends of my personal choice but colleagues are forced to be from the work environment and which can’t be avoided

I don’t give any chance most of the time for the colleagues to cross the threshold limits of being a friend.  Possibly due to long working hours or a hectic schedule that leaves precious little time for them as well. Already we are seeing the faces of the colleagues for more than 10 hours and it is good to socialize with our own set of other friends. Our heart and mind will be looking for some new faces and not the same faces with whom we interact more than 50 hours in a week.

Having thought about all this, it seems to me that while one can have many good colleagues at work, few ever cross the threshold into being a friend. I feel that it requires both time and opportunity for a good working relationship to advance to the next level and it is very hard to get such kind of colleagues as friends.

Dear Friends, not all people in this world are trustworthy. This world is full of rich people, but it is equally with bad people. Colleagues are after all humans like you, me and your school/ college pals. They also have the same emotional needs what I have.

In today’s corporate world, where working 10-12 hours a day has become a norm, most of the issues surrounding we are related to work. These are the issues which our spouse or family members don’t understand. We need someone inside the system who understands complexities, difficulties and repercussions. We need someone who understands all these and need to guide us or to support or console us. We have to accept that almost every day we have these kinds of conversations with our colleagues.

If we can trust them with something that affects our livelihood, why can’t you trust them with something that is related to your heart/personal affairs is the question which is coming in my mind? Still I don’t have answer for it.

At work environment, if something goes wrong, we can change it but personal life style we can’t change it because of a colleague and the same can be changed by a best friend. I strongly feel that we can’t have best friend from colleagues.

Above all the concerns, it is tough to get the work done by the colleague’s if we treat them as a friend and we are forced to be lenient and we have to do their work. Helping is different but lenience because of making them as close friend makes me to feel I am making myself weaker. Friendship makes us weaker and at work environment we have to be strong is what the reason to keep up some distance with the colleagues.

Tom & Jerry

Cartoon – a painful comedy

A cartoon is a form of two-dimensional art and the specific definition has changed over a period of time, and is typically non-realistic or semi-realistic drawing or painting intended for mockery, exaggeration, or comic, or any kind of artistic style of such works.

Somehow when we say cartoon, we all will start laughing, no one knows how much it is painful to make a cartoon. Same way I am about to scribble about the person whom I like very much. In a way, I have to say that when I name the person as a cartoon, my first feeling was that he has dual face.Has it changed ? I can’t say yes or no ! !  Everyone has got two face and no one is perfect is the current feeling.

Only one of my best friend knows how much I was hurt because of this cartoon, but I smile when I say the name cartoon. Even she will not remember or would not have understood the pain what I have gone through. I don’t know this could  be a reason I love this name for that gentleman.

As a friend, I will say that he is a typical south Indian with spiritual beliefs, an easy-going and it is very tough to find such a nice person in terms of personal relationship. Officially I don’t think I have that much cordial relationship with anyone, as I love to stick to my own ethics as usual.

Being in the client side, I have to say yes for every need of the client requirement, which is a stupid ethics what a consultant has to learn in their professional life. Even when something is not possible, we have to give a false promise that can be done. We have to say we will bring the rainbow on a sunny day by creating an artificial rain.

Biggest problem for me is neither I can support my own team or the opposite team. If I try to support my own team, I have to make the other side weaker. If I support the other side, then I have to say that my side team is weaker. Even if I keep quite, my team used to feel that I support him blindly. I do have a soft corner for cartoon, but it doesn’t mean that at the cost of my professional traits.

Most of my friends know that I have a soft corner for him, a unique kind of friendship which got developed in me without a reason on its own. My closeness towards him may be related to professional environment but something has made me to feel it so personal.

Being in the delivering end, we will have a lot of professional disagreements or some comments. I think, I have taken it personally deep to heart. I heard so many comments, from the same company, but when it was from him, I was not able to take it easily.

I think I got mixed up my professional and personal feeling and lost the good friend within short time. I was in deep pain and it took long time for me to come out of it. I was not able to share that pain also to anyone because most of them know and feel that I am very close to him.

We don’t need any reason to like a person or hate a person. It depends on the people. When we love someone we will say that I don’t know why I love you, and in the same way we will say I don’t have any reason why I don’t like him or I don’t need any reason to hate a person.

I don’t know what the reason is and it could be because of his name, or because of his mustache or some special quality in him. His entire team knows that I call him as my sweet heart. I will not degrade myself by saying some stranger as sweet heart or to say someone as SH all of a sudden. His professional traits and behaviors has given me the comfort to say it on his face also(of course just for fun).

Those who have noticed me will know that I will be listening keenly, when I hear his name, even though the subject has nothing to do with me, my ears will be very sharp to know about him.

Normally I tried to keep a long distance with the guys from the client side, as I have to avoid unwanted talks. Somehow this person has given the feeling of a good friend even before we started talking, being a good observer, I have seen him the way he has taken the values of others. In fact he is also a good observer.

He is a very good person as a manager. It is not an easy thing to get a comment from me as a good manager, because making people to work for someone is really a great talent and all the managers doesn’t get it. The way he used to manage his team, I adore it.

I will say many should learn it from him. I have worked under so many managers, but a blind belief with my superior was not with me with any of my superiors other than the one about whom I have written a lot. He is so lucky to have such kind of people as his sub ordinates and all of them are so crazy and adore him like I used to adore my ex-boss.

To be fair to end, I will say that my professional journey with this gentleman is not going to be forever and till the time it goes it will be like Tom and Jerry only… Here we both are cartoons only. Even though I don’t have patience to watch cartoons, I love Tom and Jerry.

It is not an easy job for me to consider a colleague as a friend and I felt that friendship from a client side is because of him only. Whatever Great feelings I have got in my life is all because of him. Out of 18 years experience, I can count very few as my friends with whom I was associated or worked together. I know I have got so many good friends in 18 months is because unknowingly I got the comfort of a good friend from him.

To the one I love, as promised, I have expressed my feelings and let me see your comments……I will write more on my professional experience shortly on which it will be quite opposite to this. Before that I have to write something about colleagues as friends which was an aversion what I had in me and I faced because of cartoon.

Friendship across ocean

Imtiaz Ahmed (16th June’2012)

This is about my friend who is across the ocean and whom I know only through the internet and because of the www.erpstuff.com.  I have written about this friend in Tamil and translated it to him in English as he is from Hyderabad. One of my best friend whom I have not seen in the last 4 years. I guess I know him for nearly about 4 years.

After coming to UAE, I have a secular people in my family because of my circle in UAE. But even before coming to UAE, he was the first one to enter into my family as my friend, philosopher, guide. A better known friend of mine as SCM consultant, even he doesn’t know that I consider him as one in my  family. Well in this way, my family is very big my dear friend.

He can think or treat me as his mentor, but I used to follow him so closely for his right attitude, beautiful heart and best conduct and the way of presenting himself to the other person, this is what I am. I have to learn it from you my dear friend.

We used to share a lot of things about oracle applications as well as personal things. I can say that I will discuss many personal things or anything with few friends without any gender bias and I can proudly say that Imtiaz is one among them. Neither I will feel that he is a guy, am not supposed to discuss this with him nor he restrained himself in doing it.

Normally he will ping me every day and I used to feel that we need to say that hi and bye at least once in a day. It is like a routine to him that and this will make me to feel so happy that he remembers me. It was there for so many months and suddenly he didn’t ping me for 3 days. I was very busy with my routine and  even I didn’t try to ping him. But somehow I felt that there is something wrong.

As I was busy and my routine was tight, I was not able to login to google. I reached my room @ 10.45 and suddenly I thought of my friend and then I thought to log in to google to chat with him. But somehow I thought let me try to call him directly.

I tried to call my friend who was in Saudi and I was in New Delhi. I called him @ 10.45 PM and when he answered the call, I didn’t ask him anything, is everything alright at your end was the question from my end. He asked me to disconnect the call and asked me to login to google.

I logged in to google, the moment I logged in, I got his message how are you? I told him, I am fine. Next question from him was if you don’t mind, shall I ask you a question? Why you didn’t ping me?

I felt little bad, because my friend can’t think like this. Most of the cases to all other friends, I used to ping them and wish them hi and hello. There are only very few who will feel that they have to check how am I and one of them is this good gentleman. How come he got such a thought in his mind? I was not feeling all these at that point of time.

I told him immediately that I was busy with my routine, I didn’t ask you, why you didn’t ping me, I just asked you is everything alright at your end? That means I really care about you and I wish to know about your where about and status of well-being.

I was so disciplined(not now), that I will not call anyone or pick any calls after 10.00 PM, when I was in India, as I allocate my time only after 10 to my family. I will not call anyone at 10.45 PM, If I have called you, then you have to feel that it is because that I felt something wrong at your end.

Then he said, I will tell you the truth, I was in a feeling that I always ping you and you don’t feel to ping me. I know you are also busy like me, and I thought I am disturbing you with my pings. Then we both together said, don’t keep this in mind, whatever came to your mind, you have asked me and I hope you are clear now.

I think he was the first one to receive my pictures from friends circle. Same way I have asked him to send his pictures as well. Still I miss his family picture. My dear friend, can you please send your family foto?

Even though I don’t hide any of the things to most of my friends, I can say that this friend of mine knows more than anyone and he knows almost 99.99% of me. This  .01% I am giving it as benefit of doubt from my end. I have that much confidence in him to share each and everything to him.

I can surely say that we feel great respect, divine love and maximum care for each other and I have the same for his family as well. Neither I got a chance to meet him or his family, but I can say that his wife will be knowing more about me and in the same way, most of my friends circle knows about this friend of mine.

I can’t say that all my friends knows him, but those who are close to heart and a kind of best friend will know him by his name and profession. The best quality of Imtiaz is his knowledge sharing and the eager to share his wonderful moments to me is awesome. I am honored to hear your achievements my friend. It is not only achievements but also your hurdles in personal growth, the way you overcome in that, personal pain etc., but the best is to know about your achievements, and the way he used to say that am your student na.. I love it, even though I don’t say anything or I have never taught him anything. He himself started saying me as his mentor (like ekalaivan).

He is also one of those loving hearts who wish me every now and then and who loves to hear that I get settle in my life. Whenever he starts, he will say I am sorry to bother you and he will make me to smile instead of feeling irritated. It is not my intention not to listen/hear your lovable words for me, but something makes me not to get into the well.  I don’t have any reservations with you and you can talk to me anything anytime, irrespective of my feelings towards it.

I am blessed to have you in my life as my friend and wish that you have to be there forever. I know your prayers are there for me. If at all I wish to do something for this friend, I have to make him to say something which I wish him regularly. If it is god’s wish, then I hope you will say those words to me. If not please accept that it is not god’s wish.

Sorry my dear friend, I forgot to wish you on your birthday and I feel that it is time for me to say  “ Belated Birthday wishes” “Many More Happy Returns of the Day” and let me get the wish from you that we will meet this year in India by the grace of god.

If you want to be really happy with your life, you just simply be yourself and everything is going to be perfect is what I have seen/learned from you. My Prayers to god is to make you happy forever like this.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. You have given so much kind words to me, and their echoes makes me to feel you as my friend forever.

Give your hands to serve and your hearts to love. – When I think about you, I will feel that I have got a friend like me for me. I will feel that my friends can depend on me anytime and same way I used to feel that I can depend on you anytime and for anything.

Is Love painful?

Does love cause pain or is it really a feeling caused because of fear? or is it because of the negative emotions caused because of Love? Ideally Love is not painful and it is a pleasant feeling and the fear of love or the negative feelings because of love.

Love is an inconceivable feeling. Love is a beautiful and unbelievable feeling. It makes us to fly in heaven. It never creates pain.
The pain and hurt what we feel doesn’t come from love and it comes from within us on many factors like doubts, fears, anxiety, rejections, possessive nature, distrust, broken trust, envy, jealousy etc. We chunk ourselves with all these feelings and keep saying that love causes pain.  This pain can cause the burden to the heart and I am sure it is not because of the love. Where there is love, there is trust and where there is trust there is no pain. We take all the uncomfortable feelings to our heart and we create chaos.

If we really consider that our relationship is primary and it is important to us, If we value our relationship or the love what we have for the other, then we will not create any turmoil to our relationship. Neither we were taught or educate ourselves that love cannot give pain. All the unwanted feelings are not part of the love. When we are fearful or anger or anxious or jealous, are we experiencing a state of love? We surely feel there is difference in the love .

Love feels warm, Love feels joy, love is felt deep in the heart. Love gives a deep sense of satisfaction Love has to be approached as per the Maslow’s theory (Hierarchy of Needs)

There is a lot of difference between need and want. Love also plays a vital role when it is a wanted relationship and a needed relationship. When you see the love as a wanted relationship you will not have any kind of other ill feelings, even if something crops up, we will say I love it. I will take it easily. When you see the love as a needed relationship, then we allow the pain to enter and play with our heart.

When we enter into a relationship we don’t get into it knowing the good and bad of it. We admire something and fall in love. In reality when we see the changes and we feel that we are very good about ourselves. When we enter in to the love, we become dependent and we expect our love to feel that we need our associate to make us feel good about ourselves. Whether the love is there or not, we were feeling too good about us.  If we would have felt lonely or empty before their entry into our life, we feel that the vacuum is being filled by them and it becomes supreme for us. We fear that space will become empty if they leave, so their staying becomes vital. We become dependent of them and the dependency creates the fear and unhappiness and obviously threat is there in any relationship of leaving the bond.

Either the heart or our mind is not ready to accept that these are not our permanent saviours and they are not here to help us but only to give pain because of the love what you show to them.

We become friends so easily and we fail to keep up it or we give damn to that because we know that they are ours. How a friendship is born?

We meet as strangers. We will talk to the stranger. We get introduced. We admire something in them, we feel some closeness, some comfort feeling, some love, some care etc.,. The stranger will become closer to us, and will become as our friend.  Very few will become special and will become more than everything and some will give the impact of nothing as well.

Stranger will keep on telling that I can’t live without you. I need you to guide me, I need you for this and that and all blah blah.. Initially stranger will say I miss you on on on on & on. . . . .

Everything will be going fine in the friendship. Suddenly they will change with a reason or without a reason. May be they get a new person in their life. In beginning they will tell you about the new person, they will slowly stop talking about that person, they will hide things & stop sharing anything.

If you call they will say I will call you later… I am LITTLE BUSY will talk later. Then they will never call you, you will think that person is busy but ACTUALLY YOU HAVE LOST him/her.. It will take more time for us to realize that the close friend has become a stranger to us. By the time,  we realize that the close friend has become as a stranger, we would have lost ourselves in that friendship.

Don’t bring people close to your heart, because the problem with the close 1 is that, they know where to hit exactly!!

It is better that we should know about ourselves before we enter into any kind of relationship. We are allowing the other person to break our heart. When we start loving others, that moment we become fragile. The moment you enter into any relationship you become weak and vulnerable. You are helpless and you are forced to get the pain because you allowed them to make you weak.

 “Knowing Others is Wisdom, Knowing Yourself is Enlightenment.”

Who knows more about me? Does a friend knows more about me, my parents, my spouse, my kids ? who knows more about me other than myself. No one is closer than me and I love myself more than any one.

It is very much required to get the clarity about who you are and what you want (and why you want it). Sometimes we dwell in utopia and want these dreams as a reality.  A dream is just a dream, you can’t make it reality and we should know the difference between the dream and the reality. Loving someone in dreams is not the reality and loving someone in life will never become a dream. If dreams continues then it creates internal dramas and unknown beliefs, and allows unknown thought processes to decide our feelings and actions.

If you think about it, not understanding why you do what you do, and feel what you feel is like going through your life with a stranger’s mind. How do you make wise decisions and choices if you don’t understand why you want and  what you want? It’s a difficult and chaotic way to live never knowing what this stranger is going to do next.

Believe in your friend and accept if the friend becomes as a stranger, and don’t try to dwell with the stranger as the time has changed the stranger’s priority from a friend to a stranger and these friends will never stick on to anyone’s life because they are tresspasser’s.

They were never said to be in our life and it is our mistake that we entertained them to enter into our life.

They know only to hit us in the right place to become more vulnerable and it is not their intention to keep us safely in their heart. They become close with you for their timely needs and at their convenience they will leave you or ditch you.

If ever I say goodbye to anyone, that doesn’t mean that I hate them or I love them no more or I don’t need anymore in my life. It means I want them to be much happier.

If ever I would cry, it’s not only because I lost them, but also because I lost my life’s precious moments without spending with them. I can’t feel that I have lost most precious moments just because of spending my time with them, because they have given me a special feeling of that relationship.

It is very hard to get people with the same attitude and we have to accept what we have got as pain ONLY.

Don’t allow any intruders to ruin your heart. Self-love is the best way to being loving and happy with who you are. Sometimes it is self-esteem and sometimes it will not allow your self-esteem to get hurt as well. Accepting ourselves will make us to feel great and when we get hurt, we can accept with what we have done.

“In Love pain is inevitable which needs to be considered as love only not as pain “

Love itself becomes pain if the other person doesn’t realize the love of the others. But when it is between two understanding hearts, then it is a pleasant pain, when it is love it is pleasant, when we have fear it is pain and we can’t avoid this pleasant pain in any kind of relationship”. What is more matters the value of the relationship, whether it is pleasant or pain? If the pain is more, we will come out of the relationship and if the pain is less, we will try to cope up with the pain as well.

In life when you have to make a choice between the one you love and the one who loves you. Choose the one who loves you. Because you can learn to love someone…. But cannot teach someone to love you!!”

“The experience of love is the same, what changes are our preferences.” 

“Love till it hurts, and when it hurts, love some more and when it hurt some more, love till it hurts no more”