In the recent years, I use the above big word so easily in my life and it has become so casual. I am really surprised to feel how I have become this much self-contained?
My philosophy of life is simple. It is to live and let live. To great extent am successful in living this. Normally I try not to interfere in other people’s work. Of course when I consider my friends as my personal relationship I do interfere or give suggestions and leave them to take the decisions. I don’t take any decisions for anyone as the decisions whatever I have taken personally failed drastically for me. I don’t regret for any of those, but I can’t take it so easily for my friend’s failures and I can’t be a reason for their failures.
It is very important to understand that others are different from us and have the right to their own views and attitude. I am also a great believer in self-acceptance. I don’t prefer someone else to decide for me. If I take others decision and follow it, then that decision also will fail, it’s better let me take the decision and let it fail. I have to blame that other person as if they have taken the decision. We have to learn how to be kind and gentle to ourselves, and accept one as it is. Self-acceptance is the source of great strength.
Purpose of Life
Sometimes I used to feel what is the purpose of my life? Really a million dollar question for me and I don’t have the answer as well. Even today I was chatting with my sister saying that my life goes with the wind and I go with the wind. Life takes me wherever it wishes. I don’t have any destination or destiny has not given me what is the purpose of my life. But you don’t do this. It was easy for me to say it to her to correct her way, but I was not able to do it for myself. This might be one of the reasons for me to get the self-contented feeling.
I used to read not only on inspirational, but also on mind, body and spiritual as well, which has refined me totally from the worldly life to a different life. Am I not living a worldly life? If my answer is yes, then I am cheating myself.. I do live a very luxury worldly life in a way which I like to live and I live it happily. Am I happy in living this life, I will not say no because I decided to live in this way and the percentage of happiness might differ, but I know in this self-contended life I am very happy compared to the normal worldly life.
When I started reading the “My Experiments of Truth” of Mahatma Gandhi, it turned my life style little differently.
I learned not only from my mistakes but also from others mistakes, it starts from my parents mistakes till my kids mistakes and I feel that nobody else could have reached my stage so early because they would not have done so many mistakes in life to get enlightened. May be god wanted me to get this self-contented stage at this age, that’s why he made me to fail in many things.
Self-Control is the ability to control our desires or the whims & fancies. Self-Control is the ability to make ourselves in control with the needs of our day to day requirements. For all our basic needs, we can’t say that we need to control. It is a need and we must have it. When the need becomes wants, then there comes the control and we need to know how to control? If we can control then it is said to be as self-control or self-discipline.
It is not some kind of negative and limiting behavior, as some people might think. When self-control is used wisely and with common sense, it becomes one of the most important tools for self-improvement and for achieving success.
One cannot attain this self-control unless the needs are satisfied to a minimum level and it is not very tough for the human race to follow the self-control as we have the common sense and intelligence of knowing the needs and wants. We can’t control others but we can control ourselves. The only differentiation what we could do is we can control ourselves. I will write a separate article on this as this subject is an ocean for me J
To be self-contented, I started my control with the food habits. From birth, I am a vegetarian. I was eating very heavy food like others. I changed it gradually to have half stomach; this also has not come as a control, as a part of lesson learned from some contents. I have a very limited portion of food for breakfast and for lunch, and Dinner. I don’t do any exercise as long as I feel that I am energetic and as long as I don’t feel any ailment in my health. Why to control on food? Food is the first step which leads to the other needs. There is a saying by Thiruvalluvar, offer food to stomach when there is no food for your ears. I do follow it. All my days I can read and write on some contents and I will not feel hungry at all. The moment I stop doing my activities, I will feel hungry.
Am I religious? Partially yes and partially no. I am religious and I use my religion and the concept of my religion as a weapon to have a self-contented life. I am not religious when I don’t need the self-control aspect.
My spiritual life style has touched me a lot in the last 10 years and I love to be in sync with that than the worldly life. I started spiritual as a weapon for me to safe guard myself; to avoid some unwanted mistakes in my life. Sometimes I have used it as a mask, but it has become part of my life. Now am in separable from that Holy Spirit.
First thing I started feeling is that no one can make us happy other than ourselves. If I need someone to make me happy then I have to be in a place to make them also happy. So let me try to make myself happy so as I can show the same to the other person as well.
How do we create happiness inside us? How do you not rely on other people, places or things? At times, I am unable to make it so easily, because I do depend on others to make me happy. I make others happy and I get the happiness out of it. Most of the time, I feel that I am happy because of myself and I give importance to myself and not giving importance to others to make me happy.
We should know the art of living to make ourselves happy so as we can show the art of living to others how to make their life happiest.
Above all, I have lost all the life’s positive sides because of my negative thinking. Always I will think in negative aspect only. Now to the world I look positive but first impression will come to me as negatively only. Journey of life has taught important lessons in patience, dedication, respect and selflessness but very lately. This is also one of the reasons to have the self-contented life. I can’t go back to my teens to correct my mistakes. I can’t go back to twenties to correct my mistakes. If I try to do so which I should have done it twenties, then again I am going to commit a mistake.
Money is important. However, in our society we do not emphasize the importance of money as a lesson;For me and my sisters, it is with us in our blood. We were neither taught nor asked to learn the value of money and at the same time given the pocket-money what we wanted. Neither I am a miser nor a spendthrift.
There is no real way of measuring of how much money is enough for our life or how much will make us the extreme satisfied or happy. 10 years back if I would have got 10 lakhs I would have felt like that money is more for my life time. Now it is a difficult question. People would tend to say whatever the comfort level is. My comfort level in money is “reducing your comforts” and you can lead a peaceful life with what you have and I am really self-contented in this.
I know I was very happy living with 7 people in a single room whereas I can’t get that happiness in 1500 square feet flat. This is the reality of life. People around me can feel that I will be very happy now, no I tend to be happy and I show that I am happy but I was very happy.
I will prefer to get the answers from my friends and not answering for the below on my own.
Do you learn to really like yourself?
This includes self-respect, acceptance, appreciation, trust, tolerance. Look at these ingredients and apply them to yourself. Consider whether you treat yourself with the same love and appreciation you would treat another person.
Do you respect yourself?
Is there something in your past or someone who has made you feel less of a person? Are you living up to your personal values? Can you say you can be trusted? Do you keep your word?
Do you accept yourself?
Are you as accepting of yourself as you are of others? Do you look only at your flaws or do you consider your positive attributes? If there are areas you aren’t comfortable with, are you in the process of changing them? Change what you don’t like, accept that which you don’t want to change. You don’t have to be perfect.
Do you appreciate yourself?
Do you look at the nice things you do and pat yourself on the back? Do you tell yourself the words of encouragement you tell others?
Do you trust yourself?
Do you follow your intuition? Do you make sensible decisions? Is your judgement sound? Do you learn from your mistakes?
Do you show tolerance toward yourself?
Do you dwell on the negative or do you balance it out with positives. You may not normally think positively, your negative mind chatter may drag you down but you can develop the habit of thinking positively, creating an attitude of cheerfulness and hope.
Take care of yourself. If you don’t, nobody else will. If you don’t appreciate and love yourself, how can you expect others to appreciate and love you? Develop goals that move you closer to caring for yourself. Learn from everything that happens, the positive as well as the negative, the small as well as the large.
The Truths About Life
Human suffering is all-UNIVERSAL. We can’t avoid it and no one can escape from their share of pain. The pain of life lies among all with the rich or the poor, among men or women, we can witness that each has their own problems and difficulties. This is the law of life. I learned it very late. I was not able to understand it when I faced my personal failure in life. Education failures, Professional failures, relationship failures and all failures has made me to feel that am a total failure product of my parents and this resulted in self-contented as I know that I can’t be more successful person in achieving these many failures. I started feeling that after so many failures I stood up and faced the world with courage.
I know whatever happens, life has to move on. Giving up is not an option. But I can give up if it is going to help the other person. One must accept the situation and move on. This attitude has stood me in good stead in my own life to lead a self-contented life. I will not dream big. If at all I will dream very small things which I can’t make it in life. All other things I don’t dream, I do live with it.
I am happy with the way life has been for me. I never turn back my past and see what happened in my past and what I have lost, and neither I see the future with big plans. I see the present and go with the wind without any plans. Whatever I am today is of a self-improved personality. I have not given any chance for others to correct me, because I don’t like anyone to correct/control me. I created a self-discipline rule for me and I follow that as my life principle.
Main reason for me writing this is one of my close friends and I wish her not to say this word self-contented, especially when at this stage of life. I really feel bad of you and I don’t want you to say this word any more. You can lead a self-contented life after 20 years of worldly life.
I have not become the self-contained in one day. It was a slow and steady gradual enlighten which I realized it in the recent time. I got so much inspiration and motivation from people around me. Some of them taught me what is life, some taught me how to lead the life and some of them taught me how all we should not live. I am a great learner and that’s why I was able to feel the self-contented within short period of 17 years as I learn from others mistakes as well.
I don’t want to write the reasons behind that friend. I don’t want her personal affairs discussed in public. But my sincere recommendation for her is please don’t be self-contented now. If we lose the age, we can’t get it back. Enjoy your life to the fullest then you can become self-contented.
A beautiful effect for you on contentment is that you become more flexible. As you like yourself more, you can consider others more. You aren’t so preoccupied with getting your own personal needs met. If you become more flexible it will be a win-win situation. As it happens, you find that delightful people come into your life and enhance it even more. You will not find time for the self-contentment as life will take you as it wishes. Now it is not moving as you expect, not because of your contentment but because of the situation and later stage you will also feel like me that you missed so many things and you can conclude that you are self-contented, may be even sooner than me. I will pray to god that you should not reach that stage forever as I want you to have this-worldly life to the fullest.
Enjoy your life. Keep smiling, keep going forward and no look backs or set back. I forced myself to live a self-contented life not it is my destiny decided by me.