Archive | May 2012

Tears…

When I wrote about fear, I never thought that I will write about Tear… I think I should have written this also along with the content of fear as Fear of Tear…

Fear of Tear

I hate people shedding tears and making someone to shed tears. Tears are the easiest way to show our emotions to the other person or to make ourselves how much we are weak towards the reason. Either we cry in happiness or in sadness. Either way it is showing our emotion.

Most of the time tears are the way of expressing the pain and it is really painful for me to see someone shedding tears and I am more sensitive and I will also start crying. I love shedding tears only when I watch a sentiment movie and I will appreciate for the director for making me to cry for a movie…

In general, the tears are the pain of some hurt.  We can’t hide our instant pains and when the pain is because of love, the level of tears tears the heart and we can’t hide. Eyes shed tears but Heart weeps and eyes shed the blood from the heart as tears.

Sometimes it is easy to hide the tears it is like the tears when we are in the water which is unknown to the other. But the other person can feel the tear if that heart has got even a little love for you.

TEARS are how our hearts speaks when our lips are zipped and it shows how much we are hurt.

We can hide our hurts and pains but never we can lie to the lovable person who cares us the most. Words are not required for them to know how much we are hurt.  Along with the tears we try to shed our hurt and pain as well. “I didn’t feel the pain anymore, which is so much a relief when I shed tears is what is the feeling of the most of people.

All my pains are kind of gone and I really don’t want them to come back,. I have changed the way I see the life and the way I see the tear also. My life is so different now. When someone is crying, of course, the best thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be better to pretend that you did not notice it.

Sometimes I used to feel that it is too good to cry without any pain because our eyes required some cleaning. At times I used to say to the loved ones if I shed tears I love it and am cleaning my eyes.

Sometimes without any pain I used to feel that I have to cry and shed tears without any reason, just to get a clear mind.

Sometimes it is wonderful to shed tears and to show all our emotions and pains than keeping it inside our heart and not allowing others to know it creates problem to the heart.

Sometimes to weep crocodile tears is to put on an insincere show of sorrow to achieve something what we desire.

Weeping is all right in all the ways, but we have to stop it sooner or later, and still we have to decide what to do.”

Sometimes it is really a blissful feeling to shed tears as you can let the pain and hurt to go away with the tears. It is hard to hold on to something that will never be ours. Tear’s allows us to face the fact BY LETTING IT GO. It doesn’t mean that tears will erase all the pain or the memory, it just allows us to keep us cool and relaxed and to come out of the grief. Long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.

Tears in heaven

Whenever I shed tears, I used to curse the person who was the reason for it. Few years back, I learned to shed tears in love and still it was very painful.

Especially when it comes to distrust, I will feel that I will throw that person out of my life, even if I feel that their love is more. Without trust and only with love will not go for a long standing relationship, but with trust we can love anyone and we can build a long time relationship.

First time in life, I learned that pain in love is sweet because of a friend. So far the tears whatever I have shed were salty and today I realized that the tears because of love is so sweet. I don’t know whether all the lovable souls will have the same feeling or not, but my love for this friend has made me to feel that my tears are sweet and made me to feel that I am in heaven.

Most relationships fail not because of absence of love but because of absence of Trust & Faith. Love is always present. It can fail because one was being loved too much and the other wasn’t being loved enough. Sometimes both of them love too much but without the trust which is important ingredient of love, the relationship fails.

I feel that if I would have got the knowledge and experience of tears what I am shedding now in love and war 20 years back, I would have been in a better position and I would not have missed so many good things of my life.

Finally to conclude,

TEARS are said to be the last gift of love, but I feel that we start our life by crying only. We enter into this world with a sign of crying and when we leave the world also, we make others to cry and tears are integral part of life.

The way you are born in me today, made me to feel that crying is first love given to the mothers by the kids.

We may only think of tears as salty drops that fall from our eyes when we cry. Actually, our tears clean our eyes every time we blink. Tears also keep our eyes moist, which is important for our vision.

Couple of week back one of my best friends (best friend) wrote that I shed two drop of tears and she was also not confident whether it was of joy or sorrow on that moment I realized that Tears are so blissful and I preferred to hold it in my hands. Till today morning, I hate tears and now I love tears also….

To handle yourself, use the head and to handle others use your heart. Beauty and color may attract the eye, a tear may clean the eyes as well as the heart but only a smile makes the heart to shine.

“Don’t cry over someone who wouldn’t cry over you.”– I strongly believe that those who love you more will be the reason for the tears as well. . Heart becomes so vulnerable to shed tears for the lovable soul and allows us to play with it and to give us so much pain. I know my Heart is not a playground, but I allowed you to play with it…. I have to bear this pain.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” There is no use of crying or showing the grief is my favorite slogan. It is really painful when someone who makes you to smile brings in the tears in your eyes, how to name it my smile or as my tears??

If you could have read my mind, you would not have made me to shed tears, but I could read your mind that’s why I say all these tears are sweet and it is not of pain. I learned to smile with tears.

FEAR of ……

Normally I used to feel that I don’t have the fear of life…  I mean I am free for the death. I never worried for any of the following

Fear of Failure

I call myself as failure product only, I can’t fear for failure and whatever I have achieved in my life is climbing the steps of failures only and I am proud to say that I have climbed so many steps… I have seen so many failures and I neither feel bad nor regret for it. I consider all of it as lessons of my life.

I have to thank my father that he has not punished me when I go with my report cards with fail marks, he will say no problem, next time you will get good marks, you didn’t study well this time.  We do have the habit of getting success from our failures from the time of birth. As a crawling baby, I would have learned to take my first step by falling many times. We don’t follow it as we grow our ego along with our intelligence.

I learn from my failures that these are some temporary mistakes which simply need to be retaken again or to keep in mind not to repeat the same mistake again. Every time when we fail at something we can learn something from that mistake if we have a learning attitude on, instead of a frustrated attitude on.

The only real way to overcome this fear is to change your philosophy of how you see failure. Don’t get embarrassed with failures, embarrass the failure. Don’t try to avoid failures.

The biggest enemy of success is “Fear of Failure” so when FEAR knocks at your DOOR, send courage to open the DOOR and Success will wait for you.

Fear of Disease, Sickness or Poor Health

The human body is incredibly resilient and incredibly strong. It has the ability to heal and recover from some incredibly unfortunate circumstances if we consider our bodies with respect and give them proper diet with little exercise. Instead of maintaining, we start feeling for the little sickness and take it to serious disease.

I do have a strong opinion that I have strong health from birth and my parents have blessed me with good and clean habits. As I don’t have interests for the junk foods, I do feel that I am very strong in keeping myself healthy. This is a natural fear in most of us. Sickness is part of life and it will come and go. We have to prevent disease and it is in tuning our physical body with mental status as well.

Fear of Loneliness

I love my family and am strongly connected with my relationships and with my friends as well.  I love in developing the strong and healthy relationship with myself and I am the best friend of me and I love myself more than anything in this world. Only if you love yourself, then you can share yourself to others completely. When we love ourselves, we will not have the feeling of loneliness. I know how to make myself happy and to make others happy as well.

I love this loneliness and it is not the fate made me to stay alone and I decided to be alone.

Fear of Future

I will not spoil the present moments by thinking the future which is unknown. I don’t have the habit of thinking about the future. I do plan for the future but not worry about the future. I enjoy my present than to worry about the future.

I am very confident and I can manage any kind of situation. I do have the strength to control my future with confidence in my abilities to face the unseen circumstances. As I don’t plan the future, I can take whatever comes in my life positively or even the negative things positively with a smile.

Fear of Making Decisions

I take decisions within few minutes and if there is something I fear to take decision, then I don’t take any decision on my own and I leave it to god ( in a way I say no without taking the decision as yes). Even though I take hasty decisions, I don’t have any regrets of making any hasty decisions.

Making decision normally makes people to take the right decision. I have to meet a friend or not to meet. If I don’t take any decision, then it means I am not going to meet him. I am taking the decision but whether this decision is right or wrong is the matter.

Generally we fear to take wrong decisions, till the time we don’t decide, it will always be a wrong decision. We need to explore the failure options. We have to overcome the fear and analyze the situation and take the right decision and never regret for making a decision.

Fear of losing job

We might be good in all aspects, but the company may go face some tough times and company can ask us to go on lay-off or may be company can ask us to leave because of any conflicts between the superiors.

By god’s grace, I have not faced this fear in my life. I know I am a good employee and all my employers have to be proud of me working for them. So far I have given my papers to come out of the companies but I have not been asked to go. I have quitted saving some other people during recessions as well.

Fear of losing relationships

Take the time to spend time with your loved ones and create cherished memories that will stay with you forever. Take note that the fear of loneliness may play a big part here as well. If you get rid of that fear, this fear will also lose its hold on you. I do fear of losing relationships. I don’t lose anyone in my life and I don’t stop anyone who wishes to go. I do let them go and I do cherish the memories with them forever.

Fear of Ignorance, Stupidity – Lack of Knowledge

I do read a lot and I never had the fear of ignorance and once again I have to thank my parents for providing a better platform and made me to learn the world not from the books. I was forced to stay out of home for my studies purpose and they entertained me with whatever I require and never forced me to complete my mission.  Lack of knowledge, I don’t think I will admit it so easily unless and otherwise I am not aware of it. If I am not aware, then I will make sure that I learn about it for survival.

I am very ignorant only in the name of love. I am a stupid for those who call me stupid with love.

Fear of Death

How many of us will have the fear of death when we live happily ?

I realized at very early stage of my life that one day we all will die. There is no escaping it. Most of my friends would have noticed that I would have said about death very casually in my talks. In the fear of death, I don’t want my life to be burdened life and worrying every single day about dying. At least twice in a week, it will come out of my mouth that I will be the happiest person if I die now.

I don’t waste my energy in worrying about something in which I don’t have any control. I do worry in things in which I have the control but I can’t correct it.

Something that has personally had a huge impact on me in this area of life is getting clear on my spiritual beliefs. Taking the time to get clear on your spiritual beliefs can often bring about a level of peace and acceptance that eliminates much of the fear surrounding death.

But first time in my life, I got the fear of death which I have not felt even when I used to drive my bike intentionally in anger. It was really terrific, but it seems that I don’t want to die all alone as an orphan in this country. Well it is easy to say I am happy to die, but a small giddy which is quite usual for me when my BP goes down, which happens with me very often. But when I faced it with a chest pain, all my mantra of “ALL IS WELL” failed to help me and I fainted. I don’t know what happened for 10 minutes or so. Luckily a call from a friend made me to feel some conscious and was feeling like I got up from the sleep.  Out of all the above fear, I was in a feeling that fear of losing the relationship could be the worst thing but I felt the worst fear could be fear of Death….

Anyway I don’t have any control over it and I will overcome (fear of death only) it.

” Courage is not the lack of Fear but the ability to face it.”

Blood is Thicker than water

I have written many times about love and other stuff, this time I was thinking a lot to write on sorry/ apologies, or about the self-esteem which is also long pending, now it is time for me to think about how strong are we in any relationships? How do we define a relationship?

Relationship – Is it fate or destiny? If it is fate then it is with our blood relations because we can’t change our parents or siblings or aunt, uncle etc., if it is destiny, then we chose the destiny as our friends.

In any relationship whether it is by fate or by destiny, we need to have the trust, faith and love. When any of these ingredients fails, then the relationship dies. We might say that one loyal friend is equal to ten thousand relations or more, but in reality, you will not have any relation with all the 3 together. Either there will be a blind love or or faith or trust and when you have all the 3,  you will be a stronger person and It is not that you are strong because of the faith, trust and love given by the relations and you know that they stand by your side even if you fail.  You know that there are people behind you to lift your morale when you fall down.

Is it the blood relations or the one who comes and goes as a friend or the one with whom we find a new phase of life in our personal life?  Relationship differs by many ways Intimate relation, interpersonal relation, sexual relationship, emotional relationship etc.

Intimate relationships have four basic ingredients: respect, trust, acceptance and knowing (each other), which can take place through both verbal and nonverbal communication. Some people would include sexual attraction and sexual chemistry should be in the definition of an intimate relationship but I feel that relationship can be extremely intimate without any sex, while no relationship could be considered intimate without these four respect, trust, acceptance and knowing.

There is a lot of difference between the other relationships like emotional, sexual relations with intimate relationships. Common terms used are we are intimate, we made love, we had sex. There is a common illusion that intimacy follows sex. I read somewhere that even great sex in no way guarantees emotional intimacy or great relationships. If so, there will not be anyone as prostitutes or there will not be any prostitution happening around the world.

Intimacy and sex are separate entities and there is no association between them. Physical nakedness is not the same as emotional nakedness or vulnerability or intimacy. This might be little confusing terms yes when you are emotionally openness and sharing are harder to make and it not so easy to open and share to the other.

  1. Knowing and being known: seeking to understand the other person. (Love and being loved is the same funda).
  2. To make the relationship bloom in the absence of the expected behaviors: giving the benefit of the doubt to the other person and make them to feel that you are behind them even if something goes wrong.
  3. Accept the love and Respect the love, understand what the other person feels and share it accordingly. Let it not be more or less so as they can enjoy your company
  4. We will feel bored in any relationship, if there is no change in the way how we deal it.  All the relationship requires changes and continuous changes without affecting the individual heart feelings.
  5. Anything which becomes routine will spoil the relationship and it has to be spontaneous not as a routine.

For me, the best of my relations are my Granny, Mother, Chithi . Without these three great ladies in my life I would not have been the better person in my life. Whatever I am and whatever people around me think that I am, I owe to them and how I was, is known only to them. They hold major role in the transformation and whatever I am is not the real character of mine, a transformed individual. They have seen the worst of it and they know the best of it as well.

Ideally what is a relation? A relative, family member, blood related person? How do we differentiate the relationship with a friendship was the subject going on in my mind?

Family is an unconditional love and being in a family is a blessing. It means that we will be loved unconditionally.

Relationships are characterized by intimacy, growth, and buoyancy. If intimacy is familiarity, closeness and understanding which comes in confidence with more love, care and concern with a person, then the affection what we have for the other turn to bloom as a relationship. It need not be a blood relation.  Relation means not only the immediate family, close relatives, distant relative and it includes the close friends as well.

Blood is thicker than Water. I am very close to my whole family. There is no debate or doubt that family is closer to heart. Next to the family comes the close friends who are so close as family.

Somewhere down the line, I heard the phrase blood is thicker than water and relationship is stronger than friendship. My friend, when we say as friend, yes there is an end, but when the friend develops stronger love and care, and takes it as a friendship – it is a bond, a relationship and there is an attachment which is more compared to the blood one. Because I am forced to love my parents, I am forced to love my sisters, I am forced to love my kids, all these are blood relations but nobody will say that I am forced to love my friend and it will come spontaneously and you don’t choose your parents or any relations whereas you chose the friends whom you want to be closely associated with.

There are times, when my mother will not understand that I am under stress or with some problem, whereas a close friend of mine will ask me, what is wrong with you? I think you are not alright, is everything alright at your end? It is a small question but a heart touching feelings asked from hearing my voice and at that point of time I am in need of that love and care, which I get it from a friend. Even when I was drafting this content, one of my friend would have asked me minimum 1o times, what is wrong with you ?

How a mother cannot understand the feeling of a daughter and how a friend could do it? It is all about the age gap and the differences in the way of life and approach towards life. I see the life, analyze the life and she has lived the life. My friend knows that I see the life, analyze the life and mother feels that I live the life.

There are times where family lets down their own blood relation, but the friends coming from the other family who is close to heart, recoups and make the other person to smile and survive and to make them successful in their life.

I am a reliable and responsible person, whereas I can fail/fall anytime not purposely but because of the situations and I know I can depend on my relatives. My mother will not hurt me for my failure but she will definitely scold me for my failure, you will not listen to anyone, you have to learn from your mistakes. My friend will say, don’t worry, even this will pass away, that is the trust they have on me. I enjoy both my relation and friendship and I know that whatever failures I am going to face I am going to face it with all these wonderful people around me. I know the strength of the support of my intimate relations and I love them for their support.

Blood is thicker than water does not mean that family is better than friends or friends are not par to the family.  Relations will stick together and they will stand and will do more for the other. “Relationships within the family are stronger than any other kind” yes when I was brutally struck by my friend, my family stood beside me and made me to stand up again and to face this world and to gain some more new friends of my choice.

When there is a party or a function at a friend’s house and there is a wedding at a relative house, wherein I have to attend the wedding of my relative, my friend knows that if I avoid that function at my friend’s house is just to prove that my friend can understand me and I can’t disappoint my relative as they will not understand and expect my presence without feeling for my heart. Whereas my friend will know that physically I may be attending the wedding but mentally I will be with them.

Those who are away from the family will know the effect of their friendships back home. I have left my old aged parents and in a faith and belief that all my friends are there for my parents and just a phone call, they will be nearby my parents maximum in one hour time, whereas it will take minimum one week time for me or at least a day to reach them in case of some emergency.

To conclude, Blood is thicker than water’s actual meaning of the phrase is lost and here it is

“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”

There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother from Proverbs 18:24.

I think of one of the hardest verses in the Bible to process in Luke 14 where Jesus says, If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. Does he really mean that you have to hate your family, or is Jesus saying that the blood covenant with Him is more important than any other relationship?  No, it talks about how to be close with Jesus..

Blood may be thicker than water, but people shouldn’t use this words in an argument or in anger; it does so much hurt. These days our own family can hurt or even kill us, and our friends can support us. It wasn’t meant to be this way. We’re all supposed to help each other, to be at peace, and to love each other—if it were only that way. It will be that way in heaven.  If really blood is thicker, then why do we have hatred in families?

I LOVE YOU

In Today’s modern world, it has become very common sentence in the human life and it is the three words that I love you. Are we saying it to the one with the love and care and do we really mean that saying “I LOVE YOU” to anyone means so much to us. Those who say that I love you have forgotten I LOVE YOU’s real meaning.

I feel that we have to say this I love you from the bottom of the heart not as a word from mouth. I just wanted to share what it means to me…..!!

Love and express your love so as you can be Loved.

To Love is Nothing, To be Loved is Something. To Love and to be Loved is Everything.

I Love you” means that I accept you and love you for the person that you are and that I don’t want to change you into someone else. I will love you forever for what you are.

I Love you – It means that I do not expect perfection from you just as you do not expect it from me.

I Love you – It means that I will love you and will stand by your side, at all the best and the worst of times of you.

I Love you – It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do.

I Love you – It means loving you when you’re down mentally or physically, not just when you’re fun to be with.

I Love you – It means that I know all your personal secrets and do not judge you for them and asking in return only that you also do not judge me.

I Love you – It means that the world means everything to me and you are my world.

I Love you – It means I love you not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.

I Love you – It means that I care for you abundantly and that I love enough not to let go.

I Love you – It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping that you feel the same way for me.

I Love you – When I say I love you, I don’t say it out of habit, or for our conversation sake. I say it to remind you that you are the best one that god has gifted me.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other..

Especially in love, When we get little we want more, When we get more, we want even more,But only when we lose it, we realize little was enough.

Many will say that it is not necessary to say that I love you, and it has to be felt. When the world was very small and inside the four walls, we don’t need to say that I love you to each other. It was easy for those 30 years back to feel and understand the other person’s love without being untold.

Now the world is very wide and we sit in front of the computers or at work for more than 12-14 hours and we don’t have time to spend with family and friends.

When we don’t have the time to share our good and bad with our friends and family, it is much required to say that I love you to each other at least once in a day and when it is expressed say it with whole heart and do mean that you really love them. The other persona has to feel that you mean it and should enjoy that feeling of love.

I love you is not only between the partners, but also when it is with sisters, brothers, friends, it needs to be said from the heart and the other person has to feel the happiness. When I say I love you, I have to feel that I make the other person bliss and I should also feel that I am in heaven.  Make your home a sweet home with love and we don’t need to search the heaven. It will be in the smile of your family and friends….

Say, “I Love You” To Your Loved Ones When You Have The Chance ! ! ! We never know whether tomorrow is ours or not.

LOVE YOUR LIFE & ENJOY EACH MOMENT WITH PASSION TO LOVE.

I Miss You Happily….

Missing someone whom you love…..

The worst thing in life is to miss someone. The very worst thing is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you. In the last couple of days, I was in a very happy feeling when I was missing someone. I think missing someone also can make us happy when we know that the other person also will miss us.

 

It is very sad when the people who gave you the best memories, become a memory. I love that memory also as sweet memories. When I used to have breakup in my friendship or some ego clashes in any relationship or even without any reason, when I miss someone, then I will recall the memory and the best time provided by the other person and it really will make me to feel that I found my life time happiness. But as far as my love for them will remain forever and I can’t change my love from one to another. Each one is unique and the love for them is also unique. I can’t hate that person for giving me the pain of missing them or for running away from me or leaving me..

Now also I miss you but I miss you very happily and when I type this a bright smile is there in my face…. Even if I have to miss you forever, I will take it so happily my dear friend….

Love is a cycle, if you enjoy the pleasant moments, then it is gods wish that we have to go through the pain as well. when the joy of  love is pleasure, I have to take the pain of missing also as pleasure. I have given the choice to accept the love as well as the pain and no one can give us the happiness or pain. It is the heart that decides whether a person can pour us love or not. When we chose the person, ultimately we chose to get the pain also from that person. I learned that pain also can be sweet only because of you.

When I deserve the love, I deserve the pain of missing as well. Only thing I can do is that I will ensure that you don’t miss me and the day you feel that you miss me, I will be there in front of you by all means….

In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I’ll carry with me forever and that no one can ever replace. I Miss you dear….

Feelings continues…

Feelings continues…

Earlier I wrote about my female friends with whom I was associated either for a long time. This article is going to be about my friends with whom I will be having long time association. Most of them are from a different company and we all work for the same client. These friends of mine are a kind of rivalry for my colleagues, I mean those who are associated with me from my company. Apart from me, all of them came to the clients place as business analyst and I am the only odd one in the team from other domain.

Friends – when I say this word I will have a bright smile in my face. All friends will bring this smile and I know even they will have this smile when they think about me.

Best in our team is the way we have the care for each other is really an awesome feeling. We all are birds of different feathers but we fly together as one family. Yes we feel that we are one. If someone has got a problem, then all of us will be feeling for it and we can depend on each other as helping hands. We share all our happiness and joy also together.

Whenever I talk about the below given personalities, I will tell them as my team. When I talk about individuals I do use their name but in general I say as team only so as I will not miss anyone. This team is very close to heart and I love this surrounding and I used to feel that because of their presence, my stay in UAE has a difference, as I don’t miss my family.

I don’t know with whom I have to start with, as all of them are very good friend of mine mmmmm na, in a way they all have become close relations to me. Let me start in alphabetical order.

Younger Brother (I don’t want to name him till the time he says to update this with his name)

He is the first one to become as my friend from the team and I take privilege to write about him as my younger brother. He is a guy who is reserved and initially I didn’t know that he is from Chennai also. Slowly we started speaking and very soon he became a good friend of mine. He was the only one guy who came first from his company as business analyst. All the other came behind him and slowly we got introduced to each other because of him. We used to have good fun because of him and from a friend level, he became as my younger brother. I call him as “Thambi”.

There were two other guys from his company as well, but I never got a chance to meet them or to have a chat with them before or after the other people entry. It took long time for me to know about the other two.

I will become very serious if someone challenges me or if I challenge someone and a bad habit of me is to win the challenge. When we were going for shopping, He challenged me on something and as I love to win any challenges I did it and won the challenge, for a moment I lost myself. I will not be able to share the stupidity on what I challenged and later realized that I have done a mistake. In fact, the way he scolded me made me to feel that he has become a real brother of me.

I learned not to accept any challenges even if it is achievable and sometimes the opposite person provokes us to go for challenges and it is not required to show everyone what is possible and what is not possible. Even if it is possible, try not to accept the challenges. From that day I stopped taking the challenges seriously.

Somehow we got some misunderstanding in the recent time and we are not talking to each other, still I will say that he is my brother and I cherish all the sweet moments what we have spent together. He used to make the environment like a college time and I was feeling like I was in my teens. Thanks for bringing the old sweet memories da.. (Thambi na eppadi venumnaalum koopidalaam dei num sollalaam, kannanu anbaa vum koopidalaam, unakkaana mariyadhai manasukkulla niraiyaa irukku da)

Amar Kawle

A very big smile comes in my face when I start writing about this guy. Amar is one of the coolest people whom I have seen so far in my life. I have not seen him in tension for any reason. I guess he will be the youngest in the team from their company and a very sweet guy who has become my brother-in-law after his marriage. His wife has become my sister. I think he doesn’t like any ladies calling him as brother.

If I have to talk about Amar, I can’t write anything other than his love for the sports. Oh god, because of him we started playing Cricket and Badminton. I feel pity and scold god for not giving a bright sport star for my country. Really India missed a great sports star and I wish that he would have been better than a Sachin or Nadal, if he would have got the chance like them to get trained as a professional sports person. Love for the sports is in his blood.  He will always be playful(this is little sarcastic playful dear).

As I said earlier, we all are one in a family. Amar’s marriage proved it that it is a family occasion and the way we were together to witness his marriage was really a great feeling. I can’t forget his marriage forever.

If I don’t say about his love for his wife, then I am missing something about him. The way he used to chat with her, I used to make fun with him that saying about his facial expression. Hey she is not in front of you. I thank god for giving a sweet brother-in-law to me and a sweet sister as well. Thanks Yvonne for being a so sweet and the way you call me as “Didi”, I love it.

Anantha Narayanan Srinivasan

Anantha is a friend whom I trust more than anyone in this team. I trust everyone, which is my normal habit but with Anantha it is one step more. He is a friend on whom I depend on so many things and who will not feel like am disturbing him. He is really a very nice guy and a soft personality by look wise. He is so loving and caring friend of the team who cares for the entire team. Along with Amar, Anantha also has entered in to my family as my brother-in-law. I love to tell him as my best friend from the team.

When I think about Anantha first thing comes to my mind is about his love and care for the team and I guess he would have learned it from his family. I got a chance to go with him from airport to his residence and the way they welcomed him and poured their love was extraordinary.

His love for his family and the way he was feeling for his daughter. He was with us in office when his daughter was born and the way he was feeling tensed when his wife was in hospital. Oh really I admire your love for your family. The way we enjoyed his precious moment was amazing and the treat given by him will be there in all our minds forever. I used to feel that I am the frequent flier to Chennai but he has beaten my recordsJ.

His love for yoga and meditation, the way he used to follow it regularly is hard-to believe and the time and effort taken by him for it is incredible. I was feeling like I become wild when I tried to do the meditation and I stopped it by giving that as lame excuse, but he used to be very soft. How is it possible, can you please teach me that technique?

The way he used to handle the camera…. How can I close my article without talking about his love for his photography? The way he has taken the photos of our team and I don’t find any words to explain the happiness and the way I used to enjoy his art of photography. I used to feel that I have to handle camera and was in a feeling to do a course on camera handling when I was in my teens. Unfortunately I was not able to do it. In fact the love for camera was forgotten by me. When I saw him with his camera and the love for his art has reminded me that I had love for camera.

He has given the happiness for me by taking the best photos of my life time. Thanks for those brilliant clicks.

Ansel regi

Ansel Regi is the sweet person of the team who is neither from my company nor from the other company. He came to the client’s place as a freelancer and was the last one to come into our team.  The most “J” factor which I have with him is his height… especially when we walk together I will feel more awkward as he will be too tall. He used to comment that I need not 1” but 1 foot heels so as I can come equal to his height.

I love the way when he said he will keep one of my friend in his prayers. A friend who will think far ahead his level and he will make others happy with his gentle smile. After 20 years, I started eating mysorepak because of him.

Best of Ansel is the way he talks to the team, he will be very polite and even his anger will be sweet.  I need some more time to write about Ansel as we have spent very little time together.

CP KRISHNAN

What a personality, the way we started our friendship was totally a different way. I really miss him now and we started feeling close relationship when we started naming him as my eldest brother. From the team he is the eldest and almost all of them used to call him as “Guruji” with love.

Whatever we do, his touch will be there. The way he used to discuss each and everything is awesome. The way he used to recommend the team is wonderful. We will not feel irritated or disturbance when he advises and we all will love to hear from him. He is one of the special people with whom all the people will love to spend time and I can proudly say that I am blessed to have him as my eldest brother.

He was the one who initiated for the lunch preparation. The way we used to enjoy our time with his presence is special and pleasing. Whether we go for shopping or for the restaurant or for a movie, we will enjoy his presence. He is a special charisma and I can say that we both have some similar qualities. Still I have so many things to learn from him.

I don’t know how I called him as my eldest brother but he gave the comfort to call his wife as manni and so far I have not got a chance to call anyone as “manni”. At home I am the eldest and I didn’t get the chance of calling someone as “manni”. He has given that comfort to feel her so close to heart.

We miss you and we miss the special teachings/advises/suggestions/ our weekends as well.

Vishnuvardhan

It is time for me to talk about my youngest brother from the team. Vishnu and CP are totally two different personalities and I feel that I can mend with both of them as their sister. I have both of their qualities and I used to feel that I have called both CP and Vishnu are rightly called as my brothers. I can see the fierce of mine in Vishnu and Intelligence of CP in me as well.

Young blood will always be very tough to manage. By look he will look very soft and cute. But he is very Straight forward personality and will talk straight on face. We can’t expect mercy from Vishnu. If you have done a mistake, then you have to pay the price is the funda of Vishnu. I love Vishnu as my brother and at his age, he is a very responsible chap.

I see him as a mixed variety of person, who will be similar qualities like me. By look he will not look very spiritual or a loving or caring person, but actually he is very loving, caring and affectionate person. The way he enjoyed the Carnatic music, I was really astonished because I never thought that this guy will listen to Carnatic or he will spend so much time in a music concert program.

He was also shocked; when he read my article about the music concert and was feeling I never felt that you enjoyed the program to this level.

I don’t want to miss the other two Rajesh and Shinny (Srinivasan) as our team mates, but I am not able write fluently about them at this point of time. I need some more time to write about these two special friends who are close to me…. Shinny a bright smile will come in my face as he was the only one who was in my hit list as a special relation and Rajesh is a friend from the team who knows more about me and I know more about him as individual person, since no one knows that we know each other well.

Thanks for all the wonderful time we spent together and I thank everyone for sharing the beauty of family and love of you. It will be in my heart till my last breath and I will cherish each moment of my time with you all.

My Prayers to god for the future is we have to be in touch till our end without any misunderstanding.

I will be writing more about this team and the efforts of each individual on some special occasions and I want to end my pen now as I am feeling sleepy…. J

Feelings Continues….

Self

Self-contented Life

In the recent years, I use the above big word so easily in my life and it has become so casual. I am really surprised to feel how I have become this much self-contained?

My philosophy of life is simple. It is to live and let live. To great extent am successful in living this. Normally I try not to interfere in other people’s work. Of course when I consider my friends as my personal relationship I do interfere or give suggestions and leave them to take the decisions. I don’t take any decisions for anyone as the decisions whatever I have taken personally failed drastically for me. I don’t regret for any of those, but I can’t take it so easily for my friend’s failures and I can’t be a reason for their failures.

Self-acceptance

It is very important to understand that others are different from us and have the right to their own views and attitude. I am also a great believer in self-acceptance. I don’t prefer someone else to decide for me. If I take others decision and follow it, then that decision also will fail, it’s better let me take the decision and let it fail. I have to blame that other person as if  they have taken the decision. We have to learn how to be kind and gentle to ourselves, and accept one as it is. Self-acceptance is the source of great strength.

Purpose of Life

Sometimes I used to feel what is the purpose of my life? Really a million dollar question for me and I don’t have the answer as well. Even today I was chatting with my sister saying that my life goes with the wind and I go with the wind. Life takes me wherever it wishes. I don’t have any destination or destiny has not given me what is the purpose of my life. But you don’t do this. It was easy for me to say it to her to correct her way, but I was not able to do it for myself. This might be one of the reasons for me to get the self-contented feeling.

Self-Growth

I used to read not only on inspirational, but also on mind, body and spiritual as well, which has refined me totally from the worldly life to a different life. Am I not living a worldly life? If my answer is yes, then I am cheating myself.. I do live a very luxury worldly life in a way which I like to live and I live it happily. Am I happy in living this life, I will not say no because I decided to live in this way and the percentage of happiness might differ, but I know in this self-contended life I am very happy compared to the normal worldly life.

When I started reading the “My Experiments of Truth” of Mahatma Gandhi, it turned my life style little differently.

I learned not only from my mistakes but also from others mistakes, it starts from my parents mistakes till my kids mistakes and I feel that nobody else could have reached my stage so early because they would not have done so many mistakes in life to get enlightened. May be god wanted me to get this self-contented stage at this age, that’s why he made me to fail in many things.

Self-Control

Self-Control is the ability to control our desires or the whims & fancies. Self-Control is the ability to make ourselves in control with the needs of our day to day requirements. For all our basic needs, we can’t say that we need to control. It is a need and we must have it. When the need becomes wants, then there comes the control and we need to know how to control? If we can control then it is said to be as self-control or self-discipline.

It is not some kind of negative and limiting behavior, as some people might think. When self-control is used wisely and with common sense, it becomes one of the most important tools for self-improvement and for achieving success.

One cannot attain this self-control unless the needs are satisfied to a minimum level and it is not very tough for the human race to follow the self-control as we have the common sense and intelligence of knowing the needs and wants. We can’t control others but we can control ourselves. The only differentiation what we could do is we can control ourselves. I will write a separate article on this as this subject is an ocean for me J

Food Habits

To be self-contented, I started my control with the food habits. From birth, I am a vegetarian. I was eating very heavy food like others. I changed it gradually to have half stomach; this also has not come as a control, as a part of lesson learned from some contents. I have a very limited portion of food for breakfast and for lunch, and Dinner. I don’t do any exercise as long as I feel that I am energetic and as long as I don’t feel any ailment in my health.  Why to control on food? Food is the first step which leads to the other needs. There is a saying by Thiruvalluvar, offer food to stomach when there is no food for your ears. I do follow it. All my days I can read and write on some contents and I will not feel hungry at all. The moment I stop doing my activities, I will feel hungry.

Spiritual

Am I religious? Partially yes and partially no. I am religious and I use my religion and the concept of my religion as a weapon to have a self-contented life. I am not religious when I don’t need the self-control aspect.

My spiritual life style has touched me a lot in the last 10 years and I love to be in sync with that than the worldly life. I started spiritual as a weapon for me to safe guard myself; to avoid some unwanted mistakes in my life. Sometimes I have used it as a mask, but it has become part of my life. Now am in separable from that Holy Spirit.

Happiness

First thing I started feeling is that no one can make us happy other than ourselves. If I need someone to make me happy then I have to be in a place to make them also happy. So let me try to make myself happy so as I can show the same to the other person as well.

How do we create happiness inside us? How do you not rely on other people, places or things? At times, I am unable to make it so easily, because I do depend on others to make me happy. I make others happy and I get the happiness out of it. Most of the time, I feel that I am happy because of myself and I give importance to myself and not giving importance to others to make me happy.

We should know the art of living to make ourselves happy so as we can show the art of living to others how to make their life happiest.

Positive Thinking

Above all, I have lost all the life’s positive sides because of my negative thinking. Always I will think in negative aspect only. Now to the world I look positive but first impression will come to me as negatively only. Journey of life has taught important lessons in patience, dedication, respect and selflessness but very lately. This is also one of the reasons to have the self-contented life. I can’t go back to my teens to correct my mistakes. I can’t go back to twenties to correct my mistakes. If I try to do so which I should have done it twenties, then again I am going to commit a mistake.

Money

Money is important. However, in our society we do not emphasize the importance of money as a lesson;For me and my sisters,  it is with us in our blood. We were neither taught nor asked to learn the value of money and at the same time given the pocket-money what we wanted. Neither I am a miser nor a spendthrift.

There is no real way of measuring of how much money is enough for our life or how much will make us the extreme satisfied or happy. 10 years back if I would have got 10 lakhs I would have felt like that money is more for my life time. Now it is a difficult question. People would tend to say whatever the comfort level is. My comfort level in money is “reducing your comforts” and you can lead a peaceful life with what you have and I am really self-contented in this.

I know I was very happy living with 7 people in a single room whereas I can’t get that happiness in 1500 square feet flat. This is the reality of life. People around me can feel that I will be very happy now, no I tend to be happy and I show that I am happy but I was very happy.

Self-contented elements

I will prefer to get the answers from my friends and not answering for the below on my own.

Do you learn to really like yourself?
This includes self-respect, acceptance, appreciation, trust, tolerance. Look at these ingredients and apply them to yourself. Consider whether you treat yourself with the same love and appreciation you would treat another person.

Do you respect yourself?
Is there something in your past or someone who has made you feel less of a person? Are you living up to your personal values? Can you say you can be trusted? Do you keep your word?

Do you accept yourself?
Are you as accepting of yourself as you are of others? Do you look only at your flaws or do you consider your positive attributes? If there are areas you aren’t comfortable with, are you in the process of changing them? Change what you don’t like, accept that which you don’t want to change. You don’t have to be perfect.

Do you appreciate yourself?
Do you look at the nice things you do and pat yourself on the back? Do you tell yourself the words of encouragement you tell others?

Do you trust yourself?
Do you follow your intuition? Do you make sensible decisions? Is your judgement sound? Do you learn from your mistakes?

Do you show tolerance toward yourself?
Do you dwell on the negative or do you balance it out with positives. You may not normally think positively, your negative mind chatter may drag you down but you can develop the habit of thinking positively, creating an attitude of cheerfulness and hope.

Take care of yourself. If you don’t, nobody else will. If you don’t appreciate and love yourself, how can you expect others to appreciate and love you? Develop goals that move you closer to caring for yourself. Learn from everything that happens, the positive as well as the negative, the small as well as the large.

The Truths About Life

Human suffering is all-UNIVERSAL. We can’t avoid it and no one can escape from their share of pain. The pain of life lies among all with the rich or the poor, among men or women, we can witness that each has their own problems and difficulties. This is the law of life. I learned it very late. I was not able to understand it when I faced my personal failure in life. Education failures, Professional failures, relationship failures and all failures has made me to feel that am a total failure product of my parents and this resulted in self-contented as I know that I can’t be more successful person in achieving these many failures. I started feeling that after so many failures I stood up and faced the world with courage.

I know whatever happens, life has to move on. Giving up is not an option. But I can give up if it is going to help the other person. One must accept the situation and move on. This attitude has stood me in good stead in my own life to lead a self-contented life. I will not dream big. If at all I will dream very small things which I can’t make it in life. All other things I don’t dream, I do live with it.

Looking Back

I am happy with the way life has been for me. I never turn back my past and see what happened in my past and what I have lost, and neither I see the future with big plans. I see the present and go with the wind without any plans. Whatever I am today is of a self-improved personality. I have not given any chance for others to correct me, because I don’t like anyone to correct/control me.  I created a self-discipline rule for me and I follow that as my life principle.

Main reason for me writing this is one of my close friends and I wish her not to say this word self-contented, especially when at this stage of life. I really feel bad of you and I don’t want you to say this word any more. You can lead a self-contented life after 20 years of worldly life.

I have not become the self-contained in one day. It was a slow and steady gradual enlighten which I realized it in the recent time. I got so much inspiration and motivation from people around me. Some of them taught me what is life, some taught me how to lead the life and some of them taught me how all we should not live. I am a great learner and that’s why I was able to feel the self-contented within short period of 17 years as I learn from others mistakes as well.

I don’t want to write the reasons behind that friend. I don’t want her personal affairs discussed in public. But my sincere recommendation for her is please don’t be self-contented now. If we lose the age, we can’t get it back. Enjoy your life to the fullest then you can become self-contented.

A beautiful effect for you on contentment is that you become more flexible. As you like yourself more, you can consider others more. You aren’t so preoccupied with getting your own personal needs met. If you become more flexible it will be a win-win situation. As it happens, you find that delightful people come into your life and enhance it even more. You will not find time for the self-contentment as life will take you as it wishes. Now it is not moving as you expect, not because of your contentment but because of the situation and later stage you will also feel like me that you missed so many things and you can conclude that you are self-contented, may be even sooner than me. I will pray to god that you should not reach that stage forever as I want you to have this-worldly life to the fullest.

Enjoy your life. Keep smiling, keep going forward and no look backs or set back. I forced myself to live a self-contented life not it is my destiny decided by me.