Time for parents
Somewhat I have written more on attitude, adverse effect of attitude, feelings, friendship and yet more to come on the same. This time I want to write something for parents. (Hope my sisters will follow)
People around me have never felt that I am a negative person but I was negative person. I changed my attitude from negative to positive and I can feel that I am growing enormously with great strength. By birth god has gifted me the energy to fight but when I was filled with my negative thoughts, I will give up easily and I will change my attitude from trying to win and I will give up I can’t. When I changed my attitude from negative thoughts to positive, my approach for the same problem was “If I can’t then no one can” I have all the strengths to win this situation. Always it is a win-win situation. How we win depends on our mindset.
When I spin my life wheel to go back, I am seeing that all my failures are not that I have to fail. I failed because I have given up easily. Whether it is studies or personal or professional life or my extra-curricular activities, the way I am giving my positive energy, if I would have given the positive thoughts, may be I don’t need to write anything about my experiences, world would be writing it, as it happens for the star personalities.
Fear of Life
God has given all the potentials to all of us. One of the best sense what we have is our brain and most of the time we don’t use it because we were not taught to use it. From childhood we were taught only the fear of life. If you don’t study well, you will not get admission in the famous university. If you don’t do this, you will not get this. But ultimately our aim is to avoid the fear of life, but we inculcate the fear of life in budding age of the kids. We put more burdens on the blooming bud instead of making it to blossom as it wants. Moreover you can’t expect a rose flower from a jasmine seed and the same with jasmine seed you can’t expect a rose flower. What you sow is what you reap and as a parent, we have to plant positive energy to the kids. We need to educate the kids to succeed and not giving adverse feeling that you will not get this.
Be positive to the kids, if you do this, you will be like this. This will avoid the negative feelings when they are growing and it will cut the burdens as well. Instead of showing the need as a burden, show the need in a positive way, so as the kid can understand and groom themselves. Don’t teach the kids fear of life, try to teach them not to fear for anything.
Don’t enforce your thoughts
I wanted to become a doctor, I could not do it and I want my daughter/son to become a doctor. The same feeling your son/daughter will have in future, I want to become a film director, my parents forced me to become a doctor, and I will enforce my dream in my kid.
We love our kids and this is also true but unsaid truth that we love our kids to be best in all. We want a cricketer, chess master, singer, musician, a bright student, all-rounder, a writer all in one kid. How is it possible? A rose can give only a rose and your kid can either become a Sachin Tendulkar or Viswanath Anand or Music Maestro. To become Sachin Tendulkar, the time and the effort has to be provided. Are you providing the effort? Mere interest of parents is not enough to make a kid a star. Find out what is the interest for them and then find out what is best for them and how to make them successful in their life with the interest what they have?
Don’t compare with others
Never ever compare the kids with others as it will have adverse effect in the minds of the kids. We always do this mistake by saying see how she is or how he is. All the five fingers are not the same and two children of same mother are not same. We know this, but we still do this feeling that this will encourage the kid. In actual, it will give an adverse effect in the minds of the kid that mother always compares with other. She hates me and she loves the other kid more than me. Self-esteem of the kid gets killed at this stage itself. Your kid has a self-esteem, don’t kill it by comparing with others.
The way we start comparing, it starts in the minds of the kids and they also start comparing themselves with others from the blooming stage till end of their life. We fail to understand that there is always someone – or more likely, a bunch of folks – better than you. You can’t be the best always.
Teach the kids to be “Just be yourself” and “Be Confident”. Is it enough, not really but this gives a positive energy to the kid. If we inculcate the focus of the kids mind to compare life with others they will always find someone newer above them or always better than them. And their self-esteem will take a beating.
Please take a right approach not to compare your kids with others. They are the best and we have to bring out the best from them. That is the prime responsibility of the parents.
Being in the present
Don’t enforce the kid to think about the future. Future is not in our hands and we teach them at early stage what will happen tomorrow? There is no tomorrow. Ask them to live in the present and make their life pleasant. You are there to worry for their tomorrow and their tomorrow will be bright if you plan it according to their strength. Make their everyday a very happy and enjoyable by being a great parent by appreciating them in whatever they do.
Happiness is a habit – cultivate it in the hearts of the children. Don’t teach them to live a mechanical life.