Men May Come And Men May Go, But I Go On Forever…

Men May Come and Men May Go, But I Go On Forever….

Too much to work on attitude, boss, conflicts and too much on with my profession. I felt that I have to come out of my earlier subjects and decided to pen something but not able to think too much because of my hectic work schedule and commitment. I was not having time to call my friends or I don’t have time to think something other than work.

Suddenly some famous lyrics came into my mind, and I thought I will pen in my blog about this.I was discussing about some of my friends as well with a new friend and which gave me a fascination to write about some interesting people I have seen in my life.

In my long journey of professional life, it is very difficult to write about colleagues at this moment because I have very huge circle of good and bad experiences. I am  very cordial with colleagues only if I like them and I will not discuss or talk to others whom I don’t like (Choice is mine and I will not give this choice for others to be cordial with me) and especially very limited friends in women and I do have a big circle from male colleagues and I do keep up distance with all of them. Most of my friends are from work places. I don’t give chances to those from the workplaces to become so close friend during my tenure with them in the same company. I developed this as an habit and I do have it till now, I will not change this for any reason as work is different and friendship is different. We can’t sail in two boats at a time. For Friendship I can give up anything but for work I will squeeze the other and I will not give anything so easily when it is work.

Up to me, Workplaces are meant for work. At workplace, you and your co-workers work together to complete specific tasks so the company is efficient. I will not entertain the co-workers to become as my close friend unless and otherwise I find some extra ordinary character in them. Workplace is not a cinema hall or a it should not be considered as a social gathering center. Friendliness with co-workers does improve productivity, too much socializing, can be harmful not only to the productivity, but also to the one’s own career. I love my profession like anything and I will not prefer to spoil it because of any third parties.

I normally don’t have closeness with colleagues and I have my own boundaries with each and everyone depending on their interest in the company. Chosing friends depends on their individual nature and we have to be more careful with whom we share our personal information. This seems like simple but problems often arise because we end up trusting the wrong person with our private information.

I don’t get along with colleagues so well as like my close friends because whatever we share with friends are for our emotional needs whereas our colleagues are for our professional needs. Workplace is not for getting our emotional needs. We have to be very careful and cautious in selecting the friends at work place. I might write another article about the friends at work place🙂

It is not an easy task for me to pen about one or two friends and it will never end. So I thought to pen about my close to heart friends (only ladies). I have to change this above lyrics to women may  come and women may go…. The above lyrics was used by one of my very thick friend to me, for various reasons I don’t want to mention her name, even if i don’t tell her name, all my good friends will know that whom I am referring to. Most of my close circle knows me as her friend and we don’t have different identity ( A beautiful tamil old song comes to my mind “Naan endraal Adhu naanum avalum, Aval endraal adhu naanum Avalum). If I am good others will feel that she is also good and if she is good my circle will know that am very good.

She knows that I am mad and I will do anything for her, and she will regularly use the above words “Life is like this and she will always quote “men may come and men may go” and one more favorite words of her is “Even this will pass awayidhuvum kadandhu pogum or nothing lasts forever”. I never cared for these words till the time I got hurt. Whatever you say, you are my best friend and neither my friendship will change nor I will change with time and people. I will always be a nice friend to you irrespective of what you are. Suddenly these words came into my mind, and started feeling why she used to say these words to me? Till that moment I was not aware that it is a famous lyric as well. What does this mean? Many people will come in life and many will go out of our life. But what is important is that in the end what you are is what you are.

We have our own destiny and we are the owner of our happiness. Above all what counts is what gives more happiness and don’t make being with someone make you forget that. Yes, when I started feeling, many friends came in my mind (life) and many are out of reach for some reason and many I don’t know where are they,  but the sweet memories what they left in me, is still with me.

Hey ! Thanks for sharing these words with me, I love it now because I learned to count on the people who left me for various reasons. I feel that you told these words to me, so as I will not depend on you forever.Before you there were so many people crossed my life and I have missed so many but still the feelings for them are still alive and it will be there till the time I am alive.

I lost myself and gone back to my school days. I really miss a very good friend as Nargiz Banu. Oh god, a very beautiful friend of mine and how sweet she was? I don’t remember when I saw her last time,  a decade back. Imm yes my school days with her was very pleasant and I can still feel it as sweet memory. She was a big chit chatter box, and I was very calm and silent (only during school days) and two opposite characters attracted each other. She was very close to everyone in the class. Whereas for me, I have to say that I was very close only with few and she was my best friend during my school days. Somehow from school days till now, I am choosy in selecting friends (Being choosy itself I have friends all over the world and I am unable to count my close friends )  or very choosy to have friendship with others. Now I am feeling that I was so close to her during my school days, but during school days I never felt it in that way. She was the only friend to whose house I used to go for studying na na, just for time pass. I don’t like group studies… (Studying itself).. time changed a lot, now a days without studying something new, I don’t go to sleep.

I don’t want to search this friend because, I know she will remember me a lot and think of me at least once in a month. I don’t want to search her or I don’t want to know about her whereabouts after so much gap , in the same time, I don’t want to erase that beautiful girl and to insert a new female in her name. I can’t change your sweet personality to some thing unusual…

Hey my dear friend, do you mean this as “many may come and many may go”, yes I do agree, but when I started feeling about my friends, the happiness sounds that it will be with me forever…

As a Teen age girl, I got a friend who was elder to me by 5-6 years.

As like others playing, chatting and as usual routine with other neighbors. I have to say it was totally different with my first best friend from neighbors. This would have been the shortest friendships with my neighbors and especially during my teens. She was my first real best friend because for whom I shed tears out of love and care. Our friendship was very strange, started with a fight, which is quite usual for me, as I am not a friendly person….

She was my neighbor and our friendship blossomed in a different way unlike other neighbors. I was having a very bad habit during my school days having bed coffee. Of course not in the bed, I used to take the coffee and come out of my house, in the lawn, will sit and read news paper and have a sip of coffee. My mom used to scold me and this neighbor female was elder to me by 5-6 years. We will show a weird face and we will not smile at each other. I was feeling that she was very rude. I hope she also would have the same feeling about me.

One day, when I was reading the newspaper (oh god, all my routine got changed, I don’t read newspaper at all), my mother was shouting, it’s getting late, when will you get ready? She gave the tooth paste and brush in my hand. To my bad luck the neighbor lady saw me from her window, my bed coffee in one hand and brush in another hand. She called me, hey what’s your name?  What is your age? You can’t take your coffee after brushing and the way she asked me, I don’t remember how I managed that situation. Quite embracing, I think I have not come out of my house to have my coffee after that. In a way she made me to follow some routines which I am following till today.

After a week, she saw me when I was coming back from my school. Again, no name, nothing, Hey what happened I don’t see you with your coffee feeling shy? Taking the coffee in the bed itself or feeling shy to come out? Oh god, I was totally collapsed but the way she asked was very cute but literally I would have cursed her inside my heart but in front of her smiled and said, you will see me from tomorrow and came home. Next day, instead of taking the coffee cup, I went with the brush and she smiled. I guess our friendship started with that smile.

After that slowly she started to chat with me and my mom. I started to go with her for evening walk. Now I remember I used to go for a walking daily as a routine, but it all went with her. When we used to go for a walk, she will enter into the temple and that’s how the praying habit started for me as well. When I go to the temple or when I pray, definitely she will be there in my prayers or whatever I do religiously it is because of her. She was so sincere in her routines and that made me to follow the same. She will be the first one in all my prayers. Even after 20 years, I feel that she is the best person in my life.

We used to go for walk even in the heavy rains and I started loving the rains only because of her and I came to know that we can love rain in this way as well. Even after twenty years of life, I used to think about her when it rains, because we used to go for walking in the rain also. Rain, Ice creams, chocolates are our favorites and to great extent I stopped everything.  Still I love cycling and riding bikes in the rain.

Even though time has taken me far away from the original adamant, arrogant to a little soft adamant, soft arrogant, but the memories are still there and I long to go back to my teens especially to have her as my friend in my life.

She showed me a way to live an organized way. In a way I learned discipline from her. Whatever self disciplines, I have today is all because of her and I owe a lot to her. She was the first one who made me to think for family sake we can give up anything in life…………… You are my best teacher of life….. Whatever I am today for my family, it’s because of you my dear friend.

If I would have spent couple of more years with you, I would have been in much better way because I really missed some good things in life because of barbarism.

When I scold someone on the road, you will cross my mind, hey don’t scold loudly, they are going to hit you… now also I scold, but I scold within my heart… they will not know. Still I am unable to control that anger or to get agitated to give back to the one who does something to us.

Funniest thing, is her father used to tease me after her marriage that one girl was crying in my daughter’s marriage. Her mother used to make fun of me by singing a sad song as if I lost my love of my life. I missed all of them in very short span of time, less than a year. I saw her once or twice after her marriage. Almost two decades gone and I really feel those days as green days.

Worst part is I know her eldest sister very well (we studied Hindi together) , even before I know this sweet lady and she used to scold me saying that you know me from the beginning and you don’t want to talk to me now. She used to scold me, Hey Kalli I will kill you. I can still feel her looks and craze, when I hear that word Kalli, oh what a sweet expression, a typical Mallu slang. of course she is a mallu lady who can read and write poems in Tamil.

When I hear this from some typical Mallu girl now, I love it and I feel that the charm in me to gain more friends is still available in me. Now someone says at least once in a day now as Kalli, to bring back my smiles after 20 years. I have to see that expression as well in this new friends face. My bad luck I have not heard it saying on my face, she will be saying it either on a chat or over a phone call.

I can try to reach this old friend of mine and I can get in touch with her, but it is not going to make any of us happy because we are far away from our original destination, whereas thinking about her and thinking the way I am because of her is making me to fly high in the sky. I miss you my friend. I want to share some secrets with you and I learned to keep up the secrets from you, I learned to trust people from you, I learned to smile because of you, I learned to give respect to others because of you. I learned to learn many more things because of you. If you were not there in my life, I feel that I would have missed many more things in my life.

I owe you a lot and you never know that I have learned so much because of you and whatever I learn in day-to-day life is all because of you. You made me to think out of box

Best of my friendships are, I don’t have friends of my age group at all. Untill 2008 back all my friends were elder to me. Some what I have strong wish to learn and I learned from others mistakes, which has also given me an aversion in many things in life.

Apart from this woman, I should say I love few more in my friends list, which I have to write on a separate note as I love my friends. I think about more friends now, but I don’t know what all to write about them…

The next few friends are also of  my age group, but not with much differences, hope they would have been 1 or 2 years elder to me.

Sri Priya, most admirable friend of mine. I have not discussed about this friend with many people and no one in my circle knows that I have a friend with this name. Golden period of everyone’s life is college time and for me it was golden period because of this female, who was not my colleague. Out of 6 in a group of teen age girls, she was the most adorable person by all the 5 and I have more passionate towards her. I think I became a very big chatter box because of her. Out of 6 girls, 4 of them were doing some course on teachers training and 2 of us in a polytechnic.

Hey I have to search for the photographs of ours what we took in some beach.

To be honest, I completed my diploma only because of her and she doesn’t know that it is because of her. I can write about this female like anything because I have spent 3 full years with her in her house. (Hey do you remember that you came to meet me to another friends house?)

Padma priya, I know you will scold me, if I don’t say your name because you were the first one to welcome me in that village and offered me a filter coffee. I can’t forget you till the time, I have my filter coffee’s. You were my first friend in that village but slowly I took away your best friend as my best friend. What a surprise you gave me in Sri Rangam. I never expected that I will meet this lady again especially that time, in that way. I went out of Chennai with a depression without telling anyone where I am going and I went for some temple darshan in an upset mind and I was away from home by 300 Kms and literally I was shocked to see her.I know I have not reciprocated to her in her way and in a way I disappointed her.

I went out of Chennai with a mind-set that I should not meet anyone who knows me, and god asked me to come back to home by showing a friend of mine saying that if you lose one, you will get two more🙂 . She was so happy to see me, and I got stunned to see her, and felt that this is a message from god that my pain is not forever and planned to return home immediately.

Jayanthi, I never expected that I will meet this women in my life after our studies because she was from some other village and I was from some other place and she is the only one whom I meet very often in the recent few years. A very soft lady and I really feel that we missed all our golden times. The way we used to play, fight, watch movies, going to temples…

I can get in touch with you to find about others. The other two were not that much close but I do remember their names. I really forgot Jayanthi’s name in spite of meeting her often nearby my house. Somehow I recalled after 5 minutes. You know the way she used to give respect, I used to feel to say hey shut up and call me without respect…  I really miss you all.

I love my friends and my friends love me more for which I have a nice example to say, If I call them after 5 years of time, they will not say I don’t remember you… and I can proudly say that the impact of me in them will be there till their last breath.

I guess next will be my best friend from work environments

Recently I called one of my friend who was very close to me 15 years back and I just said my name, immediately she asked me, hey you are still alive, am happy to hear you again.

I called her to get an admission to my sister’s son in a school and even though we were not in touch, I know that she is working in that school where we want to place our son for admission. Quite interesting thing was she remembered my sisters as well.

When I called her, she was at work and I could feel the intimacy in our discussion was palpable. After all, we’d been friends. huh, what am I saying, we’re still friends!

This is one of the most beautiful facets of friendship. You meet an old friend – as we spoke after sixteen long years – and, the closeness was immediate, and as strong as ever, as though only sixteen days, or weeks, had passed.

This is what friendship is all about. It stays alive, in spite of you not having a clue of the others’ whereabouts, or doings.

She is my first (SAD) sweet adorable darling and we know each other from 1995 and were close till 1996 and there were people to feel jealous about us as we always will have big smiles in our face and we can see the fire of jealous in all those who have seen us together.

Kalaivani (Kalavaani) – she has stolen my heart. She is a very nice woman with sweet voice and charming lady who was having control of a department where she has got some people to work for her. She was so sweet and I hope almost all the top people in the company knew her because of her soft and gentle behavior. I am totally opposite and opposite poles attracted each other. Only I know how much troubles I have given to her. But she was so soft and I have not seen her with anger or getting irritated or frustrated because of my silly behavior. Time made me to sit with her for no reason and we used to spend more time in office as well as at home. Hey when I go by the way of Nehru Nagar, I miss those ice creams dear.

Venila, I will not say that we are best friends but I know that she adores me more than a friend. Whenever she feels some pain or happiness, first person to cross her mind will be my name. She will be thinking my name at least once in a day. I was so happy when she said, for all the problems, I will think how you will handle this situation and then I will take decisions for me. I don’t know in what way I inspired you but I know you as a daring lady and I don’t want you to feel sad or depressed for any reason. Wish you to see you as like a courageous lady as like before.

We have not spent much time together but our friendship is more than 6 years now. You are the one who has seen the rock in me and as well as the soft flower in the hard rocky person. You have seen me all my failures, and also you know the secret of my success as well. Even though you have seen all my faces, you still feel me as confident female. I feel that you are more confident than me. I want you to come back with your full power.

I am proud of your friendship aunty.. oops sorry, I know you love that… Hey Aunty, my cousin wants to meet you now with me. Can we meet tomorrow? I don’t want to go without seeing you aunty, need your time, call me young lady🙂

This is just a beginning to write about my friends and it will not end so easily.

Friends Forever !

Friendship has no boundaries and friends know no limits. They love you unconditionally for what you are and are always with you in difficult times.

Life is all about the choices we make. However, there are often, varied situations, circumstances and people around us, which greatly influence our choices in life.

Currently I am trying to break a rock and hope I will be writing soon about breaking a rock or accepting a failure that I could not do it. I do have faith in me, that I can do it. Hope to write another story positively about another friend. Either of us can choose to opt for the better one. Rock can become my best friend or I can leave the rock saying that you are really a hard-core rock. Choice is with us and let us give the time to make the choice….

Continues…..

4 thoughts on “Men May Come And Men May Go, But I Go On Forever…

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