Archive | March 2012

Focus on ONE ACTIVITY

I was very happy in doing multiple tasks and I was very proud that I can do multiple tasks at a time. I used to say it proudly to my friends that I am a multitasking person.

I came to know just couple of hours before that how bad the multitasking could be?

Watching TV program, listening to a song, chatting with a friend while on a phone call, drafting a mail are couple of activities which I will be doing regularly without even feeling that am doing multiple tasks at a time.

You are managing tasks with a speed worthy to handle all these… ! ! Congratulations, multi tasker.

Few examples of multitasking are…

You are on a phone call, while three new emails come in your inbox and trying to read the mails.

Multiple Chat boxes open on your laptop and switching to different people on different topics.

Co-worker stops with a request for info and your Google mail is filled with mails to read.

Multitasking is very dangerous.  While doing an action, if other action, or other thoughts, or feelings disturb you, let it go of distractions and go back to what you are doing – again, and again, and again.  This is how I used to be…

I am not a multitasking personality till few years back. I do remember that I will not allow others to talk or discuss anything when I used to prepare for my exams. I can’t do anything else when I listen to songs. My concentration has to be there only on the song not on any other topic. If some disturbances comes then I will listen to the same song once again till the time, I feel that I heard the song completely.

When I pray my thought process will be only on my prayers and nothing else will disturb me.

When I go for walking, my mind will be there only on walking and to feel the breathing of fresh air.

When I go for playing or cycling, my mind will be there on that activity and sometimes when I am on my bike, my thought process will be somewhere else…

Concentrating on the particular activity and my mind will be in under my control. I will not be able to do two activities at a time.

When I started my blogging, initial few months, I was too fast and too good in drafting the contents for my blogs whereas the speed has tremendously come down because of my multitasking ability (stupidity). I will start something to write and I will switch on my TV or I will start discussing something with my family or friends.  If you find you are doing two things at once, stop and go back to one thing at a time

 Main Reason for me to write on multitasking

After a long gap today I was feeling that I had full stomach food whereas I had very little food. I was feeling how come today I am feeling that I had heavy lunch? I want to find the reason for the same and then realized that when I take my food, I will be thinking always about my work, what is my next activity, or I will be watching the TV, listening to music or Chatting with friend or calling someone or some other things. How much time I can spend for my lunch/dinner? How can I make my work faster than thinking about my food? I will not spend that 10-15 minutes time for my lunch alone and I will be wandering around my day-to-day routines.

I used to have heavy food when am working, but I will feel hungry within 5 minutes. After so many months I realized, that I am having very little food and felt like I had enough and was feeling sleepy after so many months. Then I realized that I was concentrating only on eating because the food was very delicious and I was too hungry and of course it was mother’s preparation. I was out of my laptop, was not watching TV, was not listening music or I was not thinking about anything other than concentrating on eating alone. I really don’t remember when did I have my food like this? How many months back may be two year’s back.

After a long time, I took my friends bike and went for a long drive in hot sun… I was able to enjoy the hot sun which I failed to do in the last two years. I was feeling too much that I am missing so many things in life as I am doing multiple things at a time and I am unable to enjoy the happiness of doing it together and which makes me to feel it was too hectic. It’s not just the question of number of hours we’re working, but also the fact that we spend too many continuous hours juggling too many things at the same time.

Especially today I was in a mindset that the technology has overtaken me and I lost my individuality to the technology and wanted to stay without any of these so called technologies to disturb my vacations. I came here to take rest and I was not able to take rest because I am addicted to my laptop, smart phone, phone calls, work and social networking. I was physically with my family but mentally not with them and I was with the technology and I started feeling that it caused gloom within my friends and family.

Suddenly I realized that I have to do one thing at a time. Do one thing at a time. When we are eating, eat. When we are walking, walk. When we are bathing, bathe. When we are working, make sure that you do the work with heart and your full capacity. When you are thinking, give time only to think on the topic/subject which you are thinking. When we are worrying, let us do worrying alone and so as we can get a solution how to solve it. When you are planning, just go ahead with the plan alone. When we are in a group, or a conversation, focus attention on what the discussion is going on with the other person.

When we are remembering, try to recall what you want to remember instead of doing multiple activities at a time.  Whatever we do each activity with all of our attention.

Technology has detached me from my family beyond its recognition. Wherever I go, technology followed me either with work or with social networking or it follows us for so any reasons, and usage of the digital devices is inevitable, and ever authoritative and meddling. Even though it’s like a desire, we can’t resist or come out of that desire if we become addicted to it and this nicking invariably makes it worse.

Just step back and know what you are doing. If a cranky or the distracting thought comes in the psychological gap between action and the object of the attention, the thought pass and go back to what you are doing. Distractions will enter your psychological space – let them go and turn your mind. When you find your thoughts wavering, then you need to say to yourself, “Always be here now & complete the activity” and turn your mind toward what you are doing.

Concentrate your mind.

Concentration is the grouping of the mind and bringing all the parts together, bonding the mental powers. Concentration is showing the focus on a selected object. Awareness and curiosity naturally concentrates the mind. One of the best qualities of Wise people is concentration or the focus of mind in completing the activity.

If you find you are doing multiple things at once, stop and go back to one thing at a time.

Concentrate on one activity in a moment does not mean that you cannot do complex tasks requiring many simultaneous activities. Like the dancer on the dance floor, at one with the music and her partner, attend completely to what you are doing.  At work place, while drafting a mail, you might need to answer a phone call or during a phone call, another colleague might ask something.

Multitasking is very dangerous, if it spoils your productivity and multitasking is a boon, if you there is increase in your productivity.

Actually we don’t do any multitask. We will switch the activities, rapidly shifting from one thing to another, interrupting ourselves unproductively, and losing time in the process. But Practice makes perfect. If you are a heavy multi tasker, then the productivity is reduced to great extent.

When you practice one activity at a time, you gain the following given details.

Patience: You gain more patience as you stop doing the current activity and attend to the next activity, complete the activity and come back to the number 1 activity.

Stress: Stress gets reduced as the multitasking is going to decrease the productivity and increase the stress. Doing one activity at a time is going to reduce the stress.

Time: you will get more time to do multiple activities if you start doing one by one instead of switching the activities.

We are capable of doing multitasking, but is our brain capable of accepting the work load given to it? When the work load is more, the brain gets distracted which leads to stress.

Giving the required time for an activity is going to increase the productivity and it is going to reduce the time spent on the activity. Sometimes it is not possible to do an activity without multitasking as we are used to do the technology.  It will be highly appreciable, when we are working on a task in a time block, turn off all other distractions. Take deep breaths during your working hours, get up from you seat, stretch, and take breaks now and then so as you will get relieved from your stress.

Give a break to your eye out for boring

All tasks are not interesting or all are not boring or tedious. At some point of the work, it’s easy to move on to something else to avoid the boredom. When you get stuck or bored, try to do the work instead of jumping on email or something else which is easy. Everything what we do cannot be easy, especially when the goals get bigger and brighter. Hard work is required ahead, out of which some are boring. Just be cautious that boredom can be a trick which will make you to fall down. Don’t fall for it. Fight your way with focused interest on the activity and you can see the success.

Unplug Your Internet connection

Internet takes most of us away ! Surfing, Facebook, Google; they can all take you away from what we are doing. Unplug your Internet cable. This will be difficult for many IT professionals. But by disconnecting the Internet connection drastically increases the most productive time what you have all day.

Advertisements

Vidya Balan-National Award -The Dirty Picture

“The Dirty Picture”

To be honest, I wanted to see the movie just because it is a story about a south Indian artist and in the same time I was not happy to see the movie “The Dirty Picture“ because it was the story of the late actress “Silk Smitha”. I was not convinced that someone can do her character just like that…. And this movie is all about the story of a female who was like a rebellion in the film industry. I will tell her as a rebellion and a youngster will say as transformation or change.

The iconic actress was not considered as a heroine at any point of time, but considered equally to a heroine, and she was very famous for her dance numbers, bold performances in exposing herself to great extent. Whatever we see as a trend in the recent days in the film industry happened in her era and I will say that it started with her entry into the film industry.

There is nothing much to talk about the story of Silk Smitha as it is a known fact that she was performing item dance. When I curse the current cinema trend because of our heroines who comes with dresses which are smaller than the kids or even the kids dress will be more costly compared to the heroines (maybe that’s the reason we don’t get any movies based out of kids), I have to curse Silk Smitha as well because she was the trend setter.

To the fact, Silk knew what she was doing and whatever she has done, she has done it with core perfection. Silk Smitha was very bold and she was very different from others and the way she created the niche for herself was awesome with item numbers. Even though I scold her or blame her as a threat for decent movies, when I pen this I will be the first one love to see her songs in our TV Channels. Especially the songs from Adutha vaarisu Pesa koodadhu with Rajini kanth and Neengal Kettavai (Adiyea Manam nillu na) (written especially for her). I will say that she is the great item dancer in India and she will be the only one who would have got so much crazy fans. Silk knew her audience, and it didn’t seem like anything would stop the fiercely ambitious actor.

Silk Smitha was an actress whose body was used successfully by the film industry to maximize their profits. And now even after her death the movie “The Dirty Picture” that is a film on her life has done well at the box-office. Her songs were there in almost all the hero’s movies and mostly with all the top stars of her era.  Many can say that her body got exposed but there was an artist in that body and no one could recognize it or groom it in a way what she would have dreamt. I am sure she would have faced so many problems in this industry and for survival reason, she would have opted this as a tool. Her acting prowess did not go completely unnoticed and in her rare non-sexual roles, she has impressed many women fans as well. She has got an extra ordinary talent to cover majority of the audience to her side.

People can adore her for so many reasons, but I really saw her movies in a different way, how this female survived in this industry for so many years, I don’t find any great charm in her, but she has something in her. She was not beautiful compared to other heroines. Silk was not fair, she didn’t have had a toned body, yet men dreamed about her. I know many women were crazy.

She used to look too good in all the costumes and she has done a great job in all the movies without exposing much like the current trend. In spite of all these I strongly had a feeling that no one in the film industry can do her story and it could have be done better only by her. It’s not an easy thing to get so comfortable with your body in front of a camera. I feel that the desire in her to excel in this industry was more than anything for which she was ready to do anything to the core.

In fact the why I was not interested to watch this movie in a cinema hall was I know that this movie will have only dirty in it. I can’t watch this movie with my fellow colleagues or with my friends. I decided not to it watch in Cinema hall, when the movie got released and I have to watch it alone. I got a chance to see this movie two days back.

Before I pen about Vidya Balan, I would like to think from the producer point of view. Ekta Kapoor and Shobha kapoor. Silk’s story is sad and everyone knows about the story. Guts of the producer was awesome, after seeing the movie, nobody knows whether this is the real story of Silk Smitha or not, but the way it promoted by them was very special. They used the charm of the deceased actress.  There are too many stories of “love failure” and related suicides happened in the film industry and the producer has not taken those stories. There is a saying that bold is always beautiful and Silk was bold, Producers of the movie was bold, and the super actor Vidya Balan was bold enough to take up this role. And it has made a BBBBig Hit for them.

None other than silk can get this hype as a dance number in this industry to get this much crowd. She still lives in the heart of all the Indians and that is what she has achieved with her 17 years of exposure in this film industry.

Not only the name, the way pictured is also dirty. Up to me the story of the movie is Rajat Arora’s writing skill. I will not say that this is better dialogue or this one is best, all the dialogues in this movie are best. I loved the outrageous dialogues. Dialogues were not very good but that was essential for this kind of movie. The story runs on the dialogues which was the major plus. Dialogues were very strong and I love to watch the movie once more for the best dialogues (we can’t expect the 1980’s trend and obviously this will have many double meanings because the movie talks about dirty but the skill of the writer was impressive, he can’t do better than this for such a kind of movie). A sample of the dialogue was ”public samaan dekhti hai, dukan nahi”,  “tuning karengea tabhi toh band bajega” and the best was the journalist to say silk as “you are a real hero” and in some scenario’s she will tell Silk don’t think and you will lose your track if you start thinking. When silk was seeing her downfall, the same journalist feeling for her saying I told na, don’t think what you have done?  Is Silk a Vamp or a victim? The way Vidya Balan along with Emraan Hashmi dialogues need to be appreciated and those are simply superb dialogues…

Timely dialogues were extra ordinary and mind-blowing. Either the shameless dialogues or the touching dialogues, writer deserves a big round of applause. If nothing impresses someone in this movie, I am sure then the dialogues surely will impress.

Next is the music in this movie is awesome… Ooh Lala and the famous nakka mooka song played in regular intervals and which really was making the audience to enjoy the flow of the movie. Re-recording is splendid.

Emraan Hashmi, Naseerudin Shah and all others they have done their best. We will not talk about all these as they have done their usual roles.

Let us go to Vidya Balan, by winning the National Award “The Dirty Picture” has something in it. I felt that I have to watch this movie.  I would not have seen this movie, if this national award was not given to her. What is that great in this movie to win a national award? It is a known story for the south Indians. Being a south Indian and I will not feel happier to see a story of a female who was said to be hot, hotter and hottest of the film industry.

Vidya Balan, name sounds me very familiar because she is a south Indian. I don’t remember that I have seen her earlier movies. Why this kolaveri not to see this movie, because I have seen Silk Smitha movies on-screen. It is really tough to do the performance done by her and how a heroine can do a role of an item girl who is on top of all the hero’s as well.

In general Vidya Balan is a beautiful female and a typical heroine who has the caliber to do some beautiful roles and a real cameo compared to Silk Smitha wherein she has not got that great physic of Silk Smitha. Silk smitha’s eyes will talk, her body will speak…

Vidya Balan has enough guts to do this movie, if this movie was done by a heroine who is of in the age group between 20 and 25 then I would have felt that the heroine doesn’t know much about the great actor Silk Smitha.  Vidya is not in that age group and being a 34 year old female, she would have known how the movies of Silk smitha were and she would have definitely seen many of her movies or at least some dances.

Silk gave men sleepless nights. Silk is every woman’s wild side and yet she is soft where it matters,’ these were said by Vidya Balan in an interview about the character she played in the movie.

It is really a tough role for anyone to do as silk because to the world, Silk was the queen of entertainment and excitement to her fans but at heart; Silk was just another woman who desired for a true love. Vidya Balan, has done the role to her best with her glamour as well as with fantastic expressions.

Can Vidya do justice to the movie or to the character of Silk? Yes she has done remarkably well, especially as Reshma and the transformation of Reshma to a super actor Silk. She has got high talent to do this role, but exposed to great extent which was not done even in Silk’s original movies. As the years have passed away, the glamour for Silk still exists. Even though we could not see Silk in Vidya Balan, but Vidya balan has proved to do the role of silk to the best of her knowledge. She has shown varieties in her acting. Vidya Balan tried to change herself as silk but still I was in a feeling that it was having the impact of the movie “Fashion” Priyanka Chopra which also talks about the iconic people and their downfall.

It’s a high class performance by Vidya and I feel that it is a well-deserved than a more satisfying film.  The film industry belongs to the heroes and it is very evident that the story goes on about a heroine. Vidya Balan first 30 minutes is interesting and she gave a thrilling experience with the scene when she was being interviewed in a bathtub or, covered in soap suds and little else, or tasting the cake from the writer’s cheek, or whipping herself into an eagerness to become an actor and the expressions shown by her in a song which was really the best efforts by an actor.

There are many situations in the film where Vidya has made everyone to catch their breath, with her complete audacity of expressions, verbal and visual. The dance on a new Maruti 800 to distract attention from a party she is not invited to. She kisses the brother to make the other one to feel jealous. When She eats sugar when is famished to keep her going. It is quite obvious that the deterioration into addiction will end in suicide.

Vidya has taken the powerful character in her hands and she proved to be a great actor and Vidya Balan succeeds in carrying the entire film in her shoulders, and can see a total remodeling her for the role of a bombshell in this movie. This movie is not a great film, an average film but she has made it as fearlessness character in the movie and all the credit goes to her for the way she has done her role.

I strongly feel that the Dirty Picture is not a full-fledged biography of Silk. It is just like light silver coat portrait of Silk, and it has sketched an outline with her story. But Vidya has given so much filminess, self-confidence and self-assurance for the outcome of the movie in a more breathtaking than it deserves to be. It is really a super hit because of the incredible performance by this super actor. Even though I appreciated the guts of the producer, dialogues but the real hero of the movie said to be Vidya Balan.

Vidya Balan has given a performance of a lifetime in this film. She has done so sharp with her character and never looked uncomfortable even when she was to deliver the hottest or the toughest or of scenes like to make love to a whip. She is the hero of the film and carries the film forward. I hope that she would have done a clear homework and rehearsed too many times for her scenes to make her character too real for comfort.

What makes all to watch this movie despite everything, the overheating; the overwriting is only because of Vidya Balan, who dares to do this movie whereas not many would try for such roles after giving some good performances and she proved that this is her film.

Vidya Balan’s expression and performance was really mind blowing and I don’t think anybody else could have done that role better, still Silk Smitha was missing. As far as acting is concerned, Vidya has done a fantastic job, she deserves the national award. Is this award given for Silk Smitha or for Vidya Balan is the question running in my mind?  There is a dialogue in the movie that movies are made for the people’s entertainment, entertainment, entertainment… yes Vidya Balan’s entertainment was excellent, excellent, excellent…

Men May Come And Men May Go, But I Go On Forever…

Men May Come and Men May Go, But I Go On Forever….

Too much to work on attitude, boss, conflicts and too much on with my profession. I felt that I have to come out of my earlier subjects and decided to pen something but not able to think too much because of my hectic work schedule and commitment. I was not having time to call my friends or I don’t have time to think something other than work.

Suddenly some famous lyrics came into my mind, and I thought I will pen in my blog about this.I was discussing about some of my friends as well with a new friend and which gave me a fascination to write about some interesting people I have seen in my life.

In my long journey of professional life, it is very difficult to write about colleagues at this moment because I have very huge circle of good and bad experiences. I am  very cordial with colleagues only if I like them and I will not discuss or talk to others whom I don’t like (Choice is mine and I will not give this choice for others to be cordial with me) and especially very limited friends in women and I do have a big circle from male colleagues and I do keep up distance with all of them. Most of my friends are from work places. I don’t give chances to those from the workplaces to become so close friend during my tenure with them in the same company. I developed this as an habit and I do have it till now, I will not change this for any reason as work is different and friendship is different. We can’t sail in two boats at a time. For Friendship I can give up anything but for work I will squeeze the other and I will not give anything so easily when it is work.

Up to me, Workplaces are meant for work. At workplace, you and your co-workers work together to complete specific tasks so the company is efficient. I will not entertain the co-workers to become as my close friend unless and otherwise I find some extra ordinary character in them. Workplace is not a cinema hall or a it should not be considered as a social gathering center. Friendliness with co-workers does improve productivity, too much socializing, can be harmful not only to the productivity, but also to the one’s own career. I love my profession like anything and I will not prefer to spoil it because of any third parties.

I normally don’t have closeness with colleagues and I have my own boundaries with each and everyone depending on their interest in the company. Chosing friends depends on their individual nature and we have to be more careful with whom we share our personal information. This seems like simple but problems often arise because we end up trusting the wrong person with our private information.

I don’t get along with colleagues so well as like my close friends because whatever we share with friends are for our emotional needs whereas our colleagues are for our professional needs. Workplace is not for getting our emotional needs. We have to be very careful and cautious in selecting the friends at work place. I might write another article about the friends at work place 🙂

It is not an easy task for me to pen about one or two friends and it will never end. So I thought to pen about my close to heart friends (only ladies). I have to change this above lyrics to women may  come and women may go…. The above lyrics was used by one of my very thick friend to me, for various reasons I don’t want to mention her name, even if i don’t tell her name, all my good friends will know that whom I am referring to. Most of my close circle knows me as her friend and we don’t have different identity ( A beautiful tamil old song comes to my mind “Naan endraal Adhu naanum avalum, Aval endraal adhu naanum Avalum). If I am good others will feel that she is also good and if she is good my circle will know that am very good.

She knows that I am mad and I will do anything for her, and she will regularly use the above words “Life is like this and she will always quote “men may come and men may go” and one more favorite words of her is “Even this will pass awayidhuvum kadandhu pogum or nothing lasts forever”. I never cared for these words till the time I got hurt. Whatever you say, you are my best friend and neither my friendship will change nor I will change with time and people. I will always be a nice friend to you irrespective of what you are. Suddenly these words came into my mind, and started feeling why she used to say these words to me? Till that moment I was not aware that it is a famous lyric as well. What does this mean? Many people will come in life and many will go out of our life. But what is important is that in the end what you are is what you are.

We have our own destiny and we are the owner of our happiness. Above all what counts is what gives more happiness and don’t make being with someone make you forget that. Yes, when I started feeling, many friends came in my mind (life) and many are out of reach for some reason and many I don’t know where are they,  but the sweet memories what they left in me, is still with me.

Hey ! Thanks for sharing these words with me, I love it now because I learned to count on the people who left me for various reasons. I feel that you told these words to me, so as I will not depend on you forever.Before you there were so many people crossed my life and I have missed so many but still the feelings for them are still alive and it will be there till the time I am alive.

I lost myself and gone back to my school days. I really miss a very good friend as Nargiz Banu. Oh god, a very beautiful friend of mine and how sweet she was? I don’t remember when I saw her last time,  a decade back. Imm yes my school days with her was very pleasant and I can still feel it as sweet memory. She was a big chit chatter box, and I was very calm and silent (only during school days) and two opposite characters attracted each other. She was very close to everyone in the class. Whereas for me, I have to say that I was very close only with few and she was my best friend during my school days. Somehow from school days till now, I am choosy in selecting friends (Being choosy itself I have friends all over the world and I am unable to count my close friends )  or very choosy to have friendship with others. Now I am feeling that I was so close to her during my school days, but during school days I never felt it in that way. She was the only friend to whose house I used to go for studying na na, just for time pass. I don’t like group studies… (Studying itself).. time changed a lot, now a days without studying something new, I don’t go to sleep.

I don’t want to search this friend because, I know she will remember me a lot and think of me at least once in a month. I don’t want to search her or I don’t want to know about her whereabouts after so much gap , in the same time, I don’t want to erase that beautiful girl and to insert a new female in her name. I can’t change your sweet personality to some thing unusual…

Hey my dear friend, do you mean this as “many may come and many may go”, yes I do agree, but when I started feeling about my friends, the happiness sounds that it will be with me forever…

As a Teen age girl, I got a friend who was elder to me by 5-6 years.

As like others playing, chatting and as usual routine with other neighbors. I have to say it was totally different with my first best friend from neighbors. This would have been the shortest friendships with my neighbors and especially during my teens. She was my first real best friend because for whom I shed tears out of love and care. Our friendship was very strange, started with a fight, which is quite usual for me, as I am not a friendly person….

She was my neighbor and our friendship blossomed in a different way unlike other neighbors. I was having a very bad habit during my school days having bed coffee. Of course not in the bed, I used to take the coffee and come out of my house, in the lawn, will sit and read news paper and have a sip of coffee. My mom used to scold me and this neighbor female was elder to me by 5-6 years. We will show a weird face and we will not smile at each other. I was feeling that she was very rude. I hope she also would have the same feeling about me.

One day, when I was reading the newspaper (oh god, all my routine got changed, I don’t read newspaper at all), my mother was shouting, it’s getting late, when will you get ready? She gave the tooth paste and brush in my hand. To my bad luck the neighbor lady saw me from her window, my bed coffee in one hand and brush in another hand. She called me, hey what’s your name?  What is your age? You can’t take your coffee after brushing and the way she asked me, I don’t remember how I managed that situation. Quite embracing, I think I have not come out of my house to have my coffee after that. In a way she made me to follow some routines which I am following till today.

After a week, she saw me when I was coming back from my school. Again, no name, nothing, Hey what happened I don’t see you with your coffee feeling shy? Taking the coffee in the bed itself or feeling shy to come out? Oh god, I was totally collapsed but the way she asked was very cute but literally I would have cursed her inside my heart but in front of her smiled and said, you will see me from tomorrow and came home. Next day, instead of taking the coffee cup, I went with the brush and she smiled. I guess our friendship started with that smile.

After that slowly she started to chat with me and my mom. I started to go with her for evening walk. Now I remember I used to go for a walking daily as a routine, but it all went with her. When we used to go for a walk, she will enter into the temple and that’s how the praying habit started for me as well. When I go to the temple or when I pray, definitely she will be there in my prayers or whatever I do religiously it is because of her. She was so sincere in her routines and that made me to follow the same. She will be the first one in all my prayers. Even after 20 years, I feel that she is the best person in my life.

We used to go for walk even in the heavy rains and I started loving the rains only because of her and I came to know that we can love rain in this way as well. Even after twenty years of life, I used to think about her when it rains, because we used to go for walking in the rain also. Rain, Ice creams, chocolates are our favorites and to great extent I stopped everything.  Still I love cycling and riding bikes in the rain.

Even though time has taken me far away from the original adamant, arrogant to a little soft adamant, soft arrogant, but the memories are still there and I long to go back to my teens especially to have her as my friend in my life.

She showed me a way to live an organized way. In a way I learned discipline from her. Whatever self disciplines, I have today is all because of her and I owe a lot to her. She was the first one who made me to think for family sake we can give up anything in life…………… You are my best teacher of life….. Whatever I am today for my family, it’s because of you my dear friend.

If I would have spent couple of more years with you, I would have been in much better way because I really missed some good things in life because of barbarism.

When I scold someone on the road, you will cross my mind, hey don’t scold loudly, they are going to hit you… now also I scold, but I scold within my heart… they will not know. Still I am unable to control that anger or to get agitated to give back to the one who does something to us.

Funniest thing, is her father used to tease me after her marriage that one girl was crying in my daughter’s marriage. Her mother used to make fun of me by singing a sad song as if I lost my love of my life. I missed all of them in very short span of time, less than a year. I saw her once or twice after her marriage. Almost two decades gone and I really feel those days as green days.

Worst part is I know her eldest sister very well (we studied Hindi together) , even before I know this sweet lady and she used to scold me saying that you know me from the beginning and you don’t want to talk to me now. She used to scold me, Hey Kalli I will kill you. I can still feel her looks and craze, when I hear that word Kalli, oh what a sweet expression, a typical Mallu slang. of course she is a mallu lady who can read and write poems in Tamil.

When I hear this from some typical Mallu girl now, I love it and I feel that the charm in me to gain more friends is still available in me. Now someone says at least once in a day now as Kalli, to bring back my smiles after 20 years. I have to see that expression as well in this new friends face. My bad luck I have not heard it saying on my face, she will be saying it either on a chat or over a phone call.

I can try to reach this old friend of mine and I can get in touch with her, but it is not going to make any of us happy because we are far away from our original destination, whereas thinking about her and thinking the way I am because of her is making me to fly high in the sky. I miss you my friend. I want to share some secrets with you and I learned to keep up the secrets from you, I learned to trust people from you, I learned to smile because of you, I learned to give respect to others because of you. I learned to learn many more things because of you. If you were not there in my life, I feel that I would have missed many more things in my life.

I owe you a lot and you never know that I have learned so much because of you and whatever I learn in day-to-day life is all because of you. You made me to think out of box

Best of my friendships are, I don’t have friends of my age group at all. Untill 2008 back all my friends were elder to me. Some what I have strong wish to learn and I learned from others mistakes, which has also given me an aversion in many things in life.

Apart from this woman, I should say I love few more in my friends list, which I have to write on a separate note as I love my friends. I think about more friends now, but I don’t know what all to write about them…

The next few friends are also of  my age group, but not with much differences, hope they would have been 1 or 2 years elder to me.

Sri Priya, most admirable friend of mine. I have not discussed about this friend with many people and no one in my circle knows that I have a friend with this name. Golden period of everyone’s life is college time and for me it was golden period because of this female, who was not my colleague. Out of 6 in a group of teen age girls, she was the most adorable person by all the 5 and I have more passionate towards her. I think I became a very big chatter box because of her. Out of 6 girls, 4 of them were doing some course on teachers training and 2 of us in a polytechnic.

Hey I have to search for the photographs of ours what we took in some beach.

To be honest, I completed my diploma only because of her and she doesn’t know that it is because of her. I can write about this female like anything because I have spent 3 full years with her in her house. (Hey do you remember that you came to meet me to another friends house?)

Padma priya, I know you will scold me, if I don’t say your name because you were the first one to welcome me in that village and offered me a filter coffee. I can’t forget you till the time, I have my filter coffee’s. You were my first friend in that village but slowly I took away your best friend as my best friend. What a surprise you gave me in Sri Rangam. I never expected that I will meet this lady again especially that time, in that way. I went out of Chennai with a depression without telling anyone where I am going and I went for some temple darshan in an upset mind and I was away from home by 300 Kms and literally I was shocked to see her.I know I have not reciprocated to her in her way and in a way I disappointed her.

I went out of Chennai with a mind-set that I should not meet anyone who knows me, and god asked me to come back to home by showing a friend of mine saying that if you lose one, you will get two more 🙂 . She was so happy to see me, and I got stunned to see her, and felt that this is a message from god that my pain is not forever and planned to return home immediately.

Jayanthi, I never expected that I will meet this women in my life after our studies because she was from some other village and I was from some other place and she is the only one whom I meet very often in the recent few years. A very soft lady and I really feel that we missed all our golden times. The way we used to play, fight, watch movies, going to temples…

I can get in touch with you to find about others. The other two were not that much close but I do remember their names. I really forgot Jayanthi’s name in spite of meeting her often nearby my house. Somehow I recalled after 5 minutes. You know the way she used to give respect, I used to feel to say hey shut up and call me without respect…  I really miss you all.

I love my friends and my friends love me more for which I have a nice example to say, If I call them after 5 years of time, they will not say I don’t remember you… and I can proudly say that the impact of me in them will be there till their last breath.

I guess next will be my best friend from work environments

Recently I called one of my friend who was very close to me 15 years back and I just said my name, immediately she asked me, hey you are still alive, am happy to hear you again.

I called her to get an admission to my sister’s son in a school and even though we were not in touch, I know that she is working in that school where we want to place our son for admission. Quite interesting thing was she remembered my sisters as well.

When I called her, she was at work and I could feel the intimacy in our discussion was palpable. After all, we’d been friends. huh, what am I saying, we’re still friends!

This is one of the most beautiful facets of friendship. You meet an old friend – as we spoke after sixteen long years – and, the closeness was immediate, and as strong as ever, as though only sixteen days, or weeks, had passed.

This is what friendship is all about. It stays alive, in spite of you not having a clue of the others’ whereabouts, or doings.

She is my first (SAD) sweet adorable darling and we know each other from 1995 and were close till 1996 and there were people to feel jealous about us as we always will have big smiles in our face and we can see the fire of jealous in all those who have seen us together.

Kalaivani (Kalavaani) – she has stolen my heart. She is a very nice woman with sweet voice and charming lady who was having control of a department where she has got some people to work for her. She was so sweet and I hope almost all the top people in the company knew her because of her soft and gentle behavior. I am totally opposite and opposite poles attracted each other. Only I know how much troubles I have given to her. But she was so soft and I have not seen her with anger or getting irritated or frustrated because of my silly behavior. Time made me to sit with her for no reason and we used to spend more time in office as well as at home. Hey when I go by the way of Nehru Nagar, I miss those ice creams dear.

Venila, I will not say that we are best friends but I know that she adores me more than a friend. Whenever she feels some pain or happiness, first person to cross her mind will be my name. She will be thinking my name at least once in a day. I was so happy when she said, for all the problems, I will think how you will handle this situation and then I will take decisions for me. I don’t know in what way I inspired you but I know you as a daring lady and I don’t want you to feel sad or depressed for any reason. Wish you to see you as like a courageous lady as like before.

We have not spent much time together but our friendship is more than 6 years now. You are the one who has seen the rock in me and as well as the soft flower in the hard rocky person. You have seen me all my failures, and also you know the secret of my success as well. Even though you have seen all my faces, you still feel me as confident female. I feel that you are more confident than me. I want you to come back with your full power.

I am proud of your friendship aunty.. oops sorry, I know you love that… Hey Aunty, my cousin wants to meet you now with me. Can we meet tomorrow? I don’t want to go without seeing you aunty, need your time, call me young lady 🙂

This is just a beginning to write about my friends and it will not end so easily.

Friends Forever !

Friendship has no boundaries and friends know no limits. They love you unconditionally for what you are and are always with you in difficult times.

Life is all about the choices we make. However, there are often, varied situations, circumstances and people around us, which greatly influence our choices in life.

Currently I am trying to break a rock and hope I will be writing soon about breaking a rock or accepting a failure that I could not do it. I do have faith in me, that I can do it. Hope to write another story positively about another friend. Either of us can choose to opt for the better one. Rock can become my best friend or I can leave the rock saying that you are really a hard-core rock. Choice is with us and let us give the time to make the choice….

Continues…..